Kadaj checked his phone fretfully once more and shoved it back into his pocket with a sigh, returning to picking at his brunch.

Reno didn't seem too interested in his food either, smoking his way through the better part of a pack and drinking cup after cup of coffee. He was a restless man, Yazoo's eccentric lover—his lean body never still. Several people, mostly women, came up to them to say hello and Reno greeted all of them with the same flirty, cocky manner.

"Still nothing, huh?" Reno asked, absently crumpling up a napkin with a phone number written on it.

Kadaj shook his head and inquired, "Don't you want to keep that?"

"What for, yo?" Reno asked, looking genuinely perplexed. He glanced down, saw the number, and grinned widely at Kadaj, "Jealous, fruitcake? You don't have to guard me when Yazoo ain't around, yo—I got the hottest girlfriend around, I can wait until she comes home."

Kadaj gave him a disgusted look and asked, "Why do you always refer to Yazoo as a woman? Everybody knows he's a man."

"What're you talking about?" Reno laughed, and breathed, "Nutjob…"

"I'm starting to think that you're the crazy one," Kadaj informed him. "Can we go? I'm not hungry and you're clearly not eating."

"Whatever, yo," Reno sighed, tossing some bills down on the table and standing, stretching lithely and cracking his neck. "Come on, brat."

They left the café, wandering down the street, Kadaj gazing thoughtfully at Reno and trying to puzzle out what he and Yazoo had together and why it was so strong.

"Reno," he said, watching the man light another cigarette with languid, deft movements. "How come you and Yazoo are so happy?"

"We love each other, squirt," Reno said, giving him a grin, smoke drifting from his nostrils. "We don't expect too much of each other and…well—fuck, I dunno, yo, I guess we're good at forgiving each other."

Kadaj thoughtfully mulled this over, following Reno down the street towards the bazaar.

"You know what your problem is, yo?" Reno suddenly said, drawing his attention.

"Please, enlighten me," Kadaj wryly said.

"You're too used to having other people take care of you," Reno told him, and again his blue eyes were unsettlingly knowledgeable.

Kadaj stared at him, offended, stopping dead in his tracks and on the verge of stuttering denial.

"Wait, hear me out, yo!" Reno protested, raising his slim hand and smiling at Kadaj's automatic defensiveness. "I know of the three of you, you're the strongest—in some ways. Strength and power, you had it, yo, but when it came to emotions you were a goddamned disaster and you ain't much better now.

"You always depended on Yazoo to settle you and never had to fend for yourself when it came to being hurt—somebody offended you, broke your heart, you hurt them back," Reno said, offering Kadaj a cigarette and pulling the pack back with a scoffing laugh when the boy reached numbly for one. "And along comes Cloud—no bills, no worries, everything handed to you, just like Yazoo and Loz. You've always been somebody's baby, haven't you? You've always had even complete strangers falling all over themselves to please you. Sex or threats got you everywhere you wanted to be, didn't it? You never wanted for anything, yo, but you never had to be responsible for yourself, either. Do you even know who you are?"

Kadaj stared mutely at his brother's lover, beginning to understand what drew Yazoo to this attractive, ridiculous, and oddly intuitive man. Reno's blue eyes crinkled in a smile and he slung his arm over Kadaj's shoulders, dragging him along down the street and sighing out a cloud of smoke, saying, "Just something to think about, fruitcake."

Kadaj did, indeed, think about it and as much as it irritated him to admit that Reno was right, the man had hit the nail on the head.

"I said think about it, brat, not mope about it," Reno chided, the arm over his shoulders shaking him gently. Reno dropped his arm and gave Kadaj a shove, mystifying the youth—he simply didn't know how to react to the turns of Reno's moods, and briefly wondered how anyone without the patience of a saint could deal with him. But then, Yazoo had limitless patience…

Reno grinned at him again and moved ahead through the crowd, leaving Kadaj to follow. The boy stopped for a moment, looking at his retreating back and hugging himself.

Yazoo was lucky, he realized; lucky to have found someone who didn't care about his dark secrets, who laughed at his fears and made the most serious problem somehow ridiculous and easy to conquer. Reno wasn't full of conflicting emotions and bitterness, he embraced what he was—an oversexed womanizer and a drunk—and because Yazoo accepted him as he was, he accepted Yazoo in return. Kadaj had no doubts that the darkest, ugliest events of their lives had been laid bare before Reno's irreverent interest, and subsequently dissolved with a shrug and a grin.

It was a heady, sobering thought. Kadaj had never discussed his past with Cloud, knowing too well how the man would react and too afraid of Cloud turning away from him. But if Cloud would so easily let him go, was it really love?

If Cloud would leave him over a brief, intense disagreement, was it really love?

If Kadaj lived cloaked in secrets, could he say that what he shared with Cloud was true?

"Come on, psycho!" Reno shouted to him, jarring him from his thoughts. "Let's go have a drink!"

'Reno is right,' Kadaj thought, giving the man a brief smile and heading towards him. 'I've always let other people take care of me, I've always expected them to. I want to act like an adult and be treated like an adult but I still think of myself as the baby…'

Even now, staying with his brother, Kadaj was sharing the burden of his turmoil regarding Cloud—but he knew better than to try striking out on his own with this one. Reno was right to question him, because he was right in that as well—Kadaj had no idea who he was, and he had no idea how to find out.


This was recently put to me--will I ever have Yazoo top Reno. Honestly, I'm not sure it would work with my Reno. What do you guys think? If you don't want to leave an answer here, you can always email me at . Lemme know, I'm cooking up some stuff and need some feedback.