Honestly I can't apologise enough, Iost all my mojo for this story and had a total reader's block. I am very sorry, but I am determined to get this story going again. Our Girl was back last night! I really liked it! No spoilers don't worry! My story will not correspond to series 2.
I really hope you like this chapter, I'm not a plain sailing kind of writer so things may get dark before they get smushy.
Big thank you to: two-secton, CJwaitout, greenstuff2 and for your reviews! Love you guys!
Oh crap! Oh crap!
There was nothing else I could think of just those two words that were repeating themselves over and over in my head. I didn't know what to say it was as if my brain stopped functioning and I lost the ability to speak. All I could do was make a strangled noise at the back of my throat whilst Charles stared down at me holding the pharmacy bag.
Charles ruffled the bag slightly, shaking it up and down, resulting in the slim box crunching against the paper bag. He put a hand into the bag and pulled out the box, discarding the empty bag onto the floor. He tapped the box and allowed the small stick to fall onto the bathroom counter. Who knew such a small thing could cause so much tension and potentially destroy our relatively new relationship. Charles picked up the test and looked at the window with the blue plus symbol in.
"Well ..." he said as he waved the stick a little. Do I lie? Do I tell him that I am keeping hold of it for someone else? Maybe I could tell him I was keeping hold of it for my mum or even Jade but what if text my Mum to congratulate her, well they are practically best friends now with their text conversations. Mum would immediately tell Charles the truth, not that it was mine, but she would tell him that the test sure as hell wasn't hers.
I don't know what to say to him. He has had this experience before with Sam so he knows what to expect with pregnancy tests, nine months of a human being growing inside, hours of excruciating labour and the sleep deprivation period with a screaming newborn. I saw how my Mum struggled at times with the kids and that was when there wasn't a house full of them. I don't know if I am ready for that, I mean I'm still young and have my whole life and career ahead of me. If I am pregnant ...
"...I don't even know if I would keep the baby".
"You want an abortion?"
Oh shit, "ermm what?"
Charles sighed in frustration and ran his free hand through his hair, looking down letting out a deep breath he'd been holding. I think I may have just said that thought out loud, oh gosh I said I wanted to get rid of the baby.
"Molly! Are you pregnant?! Do you want this baby?! For goodness sake just talk to me will you!"
"I don't know what to say", I replied as I shuffled my feet. I looked down to the tiled bathroom floor, focusing on the stained marble effect, trying to keep my eyes on anything but Charles.
I heard him huff and drop the test on the surface in the bathroom, as it made a small knocking sound I stepped back. Charles was standing near the entrance of the bathroom, blocking my only means of escape. I could just make a run for it, knocking him down on the way out; use some of my army training. Talking about army training I could restrain him and use whatever I can find in these bathroom cabinets to tie him up. He would only be holed up in here till housekeeping came in the morning so I'm sure he would be fine, he is the legendary Captain James after all.
"Molly!"
Shit! His shouting made me jump and I put my hand down onto the surface rather hard, right down onto the glass used for mouth washing. As there was a loud smash I felt a sharp sting followed by a pulsating sensation which made me feel sick. I looked down at my hand to see some pieces of glass sticking out the palm of my hand with blood dripping onto the work surface.
Shit this hurt.
"Oh crap", I muttered as I lifted my hand up towards my chest. I don't know if there was anything I could possibly use in this hotel room to help me, I mean I think I might need some stitches.
"Wait here I will be right back", Charles said as he briskly left the bathroom. I was left standing by myself attempting to distract myself from the pain and the blood that was staining my shirt. This is the position I could be in in nine months time; bleeding, hurting and all alone.
Come on Dawes you can sort yourself out. I looked around the bathroom and noticed a face cloth on the towel rail, this would have to do for now. I grabbed the cloth and held it on my hand applying pressure but being careful of the glass that was now sticking out of it. How did I get myself in this mess? The army was supposed to be my opportunity for freedom, an opportunity for me to have a real chance in life. I didn't want to end up like half the girls my age around here who live in the high rises with their litter of children. I have nothing against how they live their lives, I just didn't want my life to end up like that.
"Sit down", I heard coming from the bathroom door startling me from my deep thoughts. Charles had re-entered the bathroom holding a small green bag with a plus sign on the front.
"Do you always have a first aid box on you?" I asked as I stepped backwards, pushed the toilet lid down, and sat on top of the seat. Charles knelt down in front of me, grasped my wrist and turned my hand so it was palm side up laying on my knee. He placed the box on the floor, unzipped it pack and began to rummage amongst the medical supplies.
"Always be prepared. That's what I was taught". Charles found some tweezers and took them out of the bag placing them on my vacant knee. He reached back into the pack and pull out a plastic transparent tube, "this may sting but please don't move",
Charles twisted and pulled the end of the tube and squeezed the water like contents over the palm of my hand. It stung a little more but not much I just wanted to get this glass out of my hand, bandage it up and get the hell out of here. Once the saline solution was all gone, mostly poured all over the bathroom floor mixed with my blood something which would need wiping up before a cleaner comes in and gets a bit of a surprise. Charles discarded of the plastic tube, throwing it in the direction of the small pedal bin in the corner of the room but missing entirely, and turned back to face me.
"I'm going to do this gently ok? I'm going to try not to hurt you. Alright Dawes."
I couldn't muster a response but merely nodded my head to permit him to carry on with the procedure. I was the medic I should be the one tending to wounds, reassuring someone and making them feel better not the other way around. Yet here we are good old Charles looking out for me just like he did during our tour together, just like he did when I tried to adjust to life back at home, just like he did when I woke up screaming and sweating the other night.
He slowly pulled each shard of glass out of my hand slowly and carefully in true Charles James style and that's what I loved about him, he tends to everything with compassion and thought. That's why I loved falling under the sheets with this man he tends to me slowly and carefully making sure every inch of me is satisfied, I can honestly say I've never left the bed disappointed.
Reminiscing about the times that we had rolled around in a sweaty clinch I almost didn't realise Charles had finished tending to my hand. He looked up and put the tweezers on the side in the bathroom next to the sink, there's another side that would need wiping down before the cleaners come in. Charles turned back to me lifted my hand up by the wrist carefully and looked me in the eye.
"I don't think you will need stitches, what's your opinion Doc?"
I was too lost in his stare that I couldn't even look down at my hand, I just didn't want to. I wanted to keep looking in his eyes, for him to forget about what he found in that little paper bag and for him to whisk me off to bed. I doubt that was going to happen. So I decided to be adult and deal with things that didn't result in hot sex.
"I think that I'm up the duff and I don't know what to do. I haven't taken the test yet I was waitin' for ... Well I don't really know what I was waitin' for. I don't know what I'm gonna do if I am pregnant I mean I don't know much about nappies and bottles and that, only what I've seen from the girls in my area. Most of them girls don't have baby daddy's around to help them with everything and I don't want to deal with this alone. I'm not saying you would abandon me I'm just sayin' ... well I don't really know what I'm saying. Charles I ..."
"Listen here Dawes this is what is going to happen. I am going to wrap the bandage around your hand.." Charles leant down and grabbed the rolled up bandage. He took the cellophane off the bandage and started to unroll it, once he had enough undone he started to wrap my hand. "...and you are going to take that little white stick and find out whether all your worrying has been for nothing, is that ok?"
"Ok", I muttered as he finished unwrapping the bandage and rolled out the first section to place on my hand. He slowly unraveled the bandage winding it slowly around my hand, I won't lie my hand hurt like a bitch but Charles was being as gentle as he could.
In no time at all my hand was bandaged, it wasn't exactly to the high standard of the medic in me but he certainly did do a good job. I suddenly felt the tears begin to burn my eyes so I closed them tight and tilted my head towards the floor, I didn't want him to see me so broken like this as this wasn't what he signed up for.
He was a divorced man in Afghanistan who had a second chance of living the life he wanted, free and single. What did he do? He fell for the common chav medic! Charles never spoke much about his divorce or why he separated from Rebecca just that things never worked out between them and they were better off apart. I won't lie it has often crossed my mind whether I was a rebound after his divorce. I don't think he would do that to me, would he?
"All done Dawes".
"Thank you Sir", I spoke quietly keep my eyes tightly shut and looking towards the ground.
"Dawes look at me", Charles said as I felt his breath hot against my cheek, "please look at me". I felt his forehead touch mine as he leant forward and brushed his lips against mine. "Please Molly look at me".
I slowly opened my eyes that were still tear rimmed and took a deep breath waiting for what he was going to say next. "Molly whatever happens I am going to be here for you, whether you aren't pregnant and want to run off to Africa or whether you are pregnant and want to stay at home having babies. I will be with you no matter what. Unless you break my heart and run off with Fingers!"
I let out a chuckle as Charles moved his lips against mine. Charles kissed me slowly, there was passion but no urgency. There was no need to rush what we had right now it was just about showing each other how much we loved one another and that's all I needed right now. We stayed clinched together for what seemed like hours but was only a few minutes. Charles pulled away first and started to slowly rise from his knees, groaning as he straightened out.
"You alright old man?"
Charles moved to stand in front of the sink and grabbed the little white stick, "enough of the old man darling! I will let you know I am in my prime!"
I let out a laugh as he walked back towards me, he kneeled down and went back to the position he was previously in. He placed one hand on my left knee and held the test with his other hand in front of me, "just take the test Molly".
I took the test from him as he continued to look at me, "well go and give a girl some privacy". Charles leant forward one last time and pecked me on the lips then rose from his position in front of the toilet and walked out the bathroom. I took the plastic lid off the test and peed on it. There was honestly no clean and sophisticated way to do this, it's nothing like the 'Clearblue' adverts at all. Once I was done I put the lid back on and placed it on the bathroom surface checking the time on my watch, we just had to wait three minutes. I sorted myself out then proceeded to wash my hands, once they were dry I check my watch. Just sixty seconds to go.
This is the longest minute I have ever experienced in my life, I mean my whole life is waiting to be changed with the help of a HCP indicator. Charles is on the other side of this wall waiting to hear some life changing news and I honestly didn't know how I was going to react. If I cried would he think I regretted anything to do with us or he would he be happy with the passion I had. Who knows! I looked down at my watch, shit its time!
I leant down and picked up the little plastic stick and went to leave the bathroom, with my hand on the door handle I let out a long deep breath. We needed to look at this result together.
