Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
~Alone-Heart~
"So—what did you think of the party?" Edward's brilliantly beautiful smile melted my heart.
I so badly wanted to tell him the truth. To tell him all about my past—I wanted him to like me for who am I and not who he thinks I am. I also knew that I wouldn't be able to handle the way he would act—the way he would look at me when he found out the truth.
"It was great Edward—surprised the hell out of me." I smiled back. No reason to tell him my lack of enthusiasm for surprises.
"It's just—I don't know—you didn't seem to have any fun."
The look on his face pained me—I knew I had to come clean—even if just about one little thing.
"I'm not really big on surprises—but I did like Edward—it was very sweet of you."
"I'm glad you liked it Bella. It was me and my dad's idea—and well of course chief Swan."
"It was nice—I enjoyed meeting the rest of your family. They all seem so nice"
We both knew the exception that I didn't speak of. Rosalie Hale might be the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen—she had a heart of ice—plus her best friends were the terrible two—Jessica and Lauren.
"So—you wanna hang out tonight? Just the two of us--"
"Why Edward Cullen—are you asking me on a date," I raised my eyebrow trying to stop myself from screaming a loud yes.
"Uh—well--yeah--I guess I am--"
The look on his face made me giggle. "I'd love to go out with you Edward."
He smiled softly at me, before sticking the large piece of pizza in his mouth, and chewing off a huge piece. I winked back, before taking a bite of my yogurt.
Later That Night
"Yeah—Edward—thanks--dad."
It was getting so much easier to say that word. Too think of Charlie as family—considering that he was basically the only family I had now. Walking out the front door, a jacket slung across my arm, I smiled as I glanced Edward leaning casually against a deep black Mercedes.
"Sweet ride," I giggled.
"Yeah—it's my dads—my Volvo is still in the shop."
"Yeah—sorry bout that."
"Your sorry—that I hit you? Yeah—for some reason I don't see that as necessary."
"How about we go—I can't wait to see where it is your taking me."
I couldn't keep the smile off my face, and he couldn't keep one of his either.
"I think you might like it."
He winked, before opening the passenger side door for me. Climbing inside I noticed that the seats were pure leather. Would the Cullen's money ever stop surprising me? I doubted it, but it was nice to be alone with Edward—on a date. We were silent through most of the trip—it wasn't an awkward silence, but one of contemplation. As he guided the Mercedes into a parking spot though, and I noticed that we were in front of a nice, fancy, Italian restaurant.
"Oh—um--are you sure?"
I felt stupid for stumbling over my words—and for the idiotic question I asked.
"Yes—of course I'm sure."
His smile was brilliant, and disappeared all too quickly as he slid from the car—and faster than I could have imagined, he was at my door—opening it for me.
"This way."
He held out his hand, and I took it—almost a little too eagerly. I still didn't understand why it was that I felt so ill at ease with Edward. I really didn't know him very well—and I was hiding something from him.
"Your quite the gentleman Edward Cullen."
"I try—from time to time."
Our banter ended when we entered the restaurant. The host seemed to know Edward without even receiving a name—she walked us to the very back of the restaurant. The setting was very romantic. The lights were very low back here—so there were numerous candles lit. There were only a couple of other people scattered about. We sat down, and I quickly picked up my menu. I needed something to stare at—besides Edward's painfully beautiful face. Even with the distraction I couldn't help but see the way that the waitress that had appeared at our table almost immediately was ogling at Edward. I felt a pang of jealousy—and the need to punch her in the face.
"Are we ready to order?"
"We'd like a few minutes thank you."
His voice was soft but curt, and I noticed that as he said the words, his eyes were glued to my face. The waitress seemed to take offense to the fact that Edward was more interested in me than he was her. While it made me feel good to know that I had Edward's full attention—and that he seemed to have no interest in the waitress, Lauren's words from the other day came creeping back into my mind. I realized in that instant that Edward Cullen was a playboy—it sickened me.
"I have a question."
The words were out before I could stop them. I wanted to kick myself, but that might be obvious.
"Shoot."
"How many girls have you brought here?"
I hadn't realized that my eyebrow had raised in a specaltory way until I saw the confused way he was glazing back at me.
"I'm not sure I know what you mean."
"Well—obviously you frequent here—you didn't even have to give a name. Plus—I over heard a conversation that Lauren had with Jessica--"
"Damn—I told you she was not a good person for you to hang around."
"I don't hang around her—you should know that—I hang out with you—and only you. That's not even the question."
I was getting angry that he was avoiding my question, which made me suspect him even more.
"okay—yeah I dated Lauren—it was like—I don't know—a while ago. She got real pissy when I broke up with her—what does that have to do with anything?"
"Did you—have sex with her?"
"I really don't think that's any of your business."
Great, now I was pissing him off—I bowed my head.
"Look—I can spot a bad relationship situation a mile away. Trust me on that—I, however, cannot read you well enough to know if you could—or would hurt me. I just—I need to know."
"No—I didn't."
This time he bowed his head.
"I'm a virgin—is that what you wanted to know? That I'm the freak seventeen year old guy that hasn't had sex?"
"Edward—I didn't mean to hurt you--"
"Yeah well---"
"Isabella Marie Swan!"
I immediately knew the voice, and felt myself draw into myself. I felt like I might be sick—my head spun, and I saw the utter look of confusion on Edward's face. My secret was about to come out—and I was about to lose the boy I was falling for—for good.
