Chapter Nine
"Rory?" His rough voice asked, "Ace, did you just hear me?"
"Logan, why did you say that?" I asked in a small voice, not looking at him.
He made a noise while sighing, "Because that's the way I felt."
I felt sick and my shoulders felt heavy, "Logan…"
My mouth opened and closed a few times as I tried to think about this, "Logan, I'm sorry…"
"I don't know what you're getting at, Rory?" I lifted my head and saw his eyebrow rise.
I shook my head and blinked a couple times, "Logan, I don't know how to respond to that."
"Why do you keep saying my name like that?" Logan inquired with his eyes narrowing slightly, sounding suddenly very defensive.
My mouth closed again as I continued to think; Logan was a great guy and could give me anything I ever wanted. He was good for me and I knew that, but as hard as I tried to have more feelings with him, they just weren't there. I bit my lip as I came to that conclusion and tears sprang to my eyes.
"Rory, what's going on?" Logan asked, more softly this time.
"Logan…" I tried to start, my voice a little shaky. I tried to shake my head and I glanced back up at him from staring at my hands, "Logan, I need you to know, that you're the guy," I sniffed and felt my forehead scrunch up, "You're the guy that I wan- that I want to love…"
"Ace…" I cut Logan off, by shaking my head.
"Just let me get this out," I tried to smile at him- Logan stayed quiet, "You're the guy that I want to love, okay?" Logan nodded slowly, his eyes sad and full of hurt, "There's just this wall standing in the way…" I laughed humorously at the ridiculous metaphor, "And as much as I try to jump over it, or try to break it down- it's there," I shrugged, "And I don't think it's going anywhere, anytime soon."
Logan's eyes looked over my face; all of the hurt and sorrow that was on it was seen. Logan sighed and closed his eyes, bringing his hand up to carefully pinch the bridge of his nose.
"This wall…" Logan sighed, letting his hand fall and he rolled his head back to look at me, "It's name wouldn't happen to be 'Jess', would it?"
I stared at him and bit my lip. After a couple beats of silence I sighed, "Logan, I'm so sorry."
Logan let his eyes slowly close as he rested his head back against the propped up pillow. His jaw was set and he moved his head to look at me. His eyes had unshed tears forming in them; one of the first times I had ever seen such sadness over his features.
"You don't know how sorry I am, really," I spoke softly, slightly above a whisper.
"I think I do," Logan matched my voice, his eyes resting on mine as he reached to grab my hand.
"I'm so sorry," I shook my head, letting the tears fall. I stood up and sat on his bed, leaning down to put my face in his neck and felt his arms wrap around me.
"I know," His voice scratched out as he rubbed my arm and tangled his left hand in my hair, "I know…"
**
I pulled into the driveway after arriving home. I had stopped at a book store for about two hours after leaving Logan once visiting hours were over. I bit my lip and tried to calm myself as I thought back to when he said he didn't want me going to the hospital anymore; saying that it would be too hard, which I completely understood.
I grabbed the bag of books and got out of my car, closing the door and slowly making my way in, "I'm home!"
"Shh!" I heard from the living room.
I raised an eyebrow and dropped the bag, kicking off my UGGS and walking into the living room to see Jess lounging on the couch, "Any reason I'm being told to shush in my own house?"
He shrugged, "I just put Oliver to bed and I highly doubt he's asleep yet."
I nodded and walked numbly over to the couch, sitting down where Jess made me some room.
"Hey, are you okay?" Jess asked, sitting up and placing his elbows on his far-apart knees, "Is Logan okay?"
I shrugged, glancing at him, "We broke up."
Jess' face went soft and he laid a hand on my shoulder, "I'm sorry."
I shrugged slightly, "It was going to happen sooner or later."
"Still…" Jess mumbled, "I bet it's hard."
I nodded slowly, "Yeah."
Jess seemed uncomfortable for a moment and then mumbled, "Want to talk about it?"
I smirked slightly and made my eyes meet his, "You don't want to talk about it."
"But you do."
"It doesn't matter."
"To me it does," Jess blurted out and then formed his mouth to a straight line.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I raised an eyebrow to him.
"Rory," Jess started, "I don't want to just… just be Oliver's dad…" My eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "I want us to be a family."
"Jess, we are a family…" I trailed off, not understanding completely.
"No," He shook his head, "A proper family…"
"I don't… Jess?" I asked, trying to understand him.
"This is such horrible timing," Jess shook his head mumbling.
"Okay, Jess tell me what's going on," I asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I don't want Oliver asking why I'm never there," Jess shook his head as I finally came around, "I don't want you feeling like I'm not there for you, because I am- and I always will be," Jess stared into my eyes as he tried to explain himself, "I want us to be a proper family; I'll move closer if it makes it easier."
"I can't ask you to do that, Jess." I shook my head regretfully.
"You don't have to," He shook his head, "I want to."
"What about your store?" I shook my head.
"We've been wanting to expand it, so if you're okay with me coming to live closer, we'll be opening up another one here in New York," Jess grinned proudly, "I'd be managing it."
I smiled at him, "You'd do that for Oliver?"
Jess chuckled, "Yeah, and for you."
I grinned back at him and wrapped my arms around his neck, "Thank you, that's probably the best news I've heard all week."
He laughed again and embraced me, hiding his face in my hair. He pulled back and kissed my elbow that laid lazily on his shoulder. He took my hand and started to play with my fingers.
"You know it killed me today…" Jess started, trailing off and letting out a slow breath.
"What?"
"Oliver," He bit his lip, not looking at my face, but intently staring at my ring with mine, Oliver and Jess' birthstones that Jess' had gotten me when Oliver was born, "Oliver wanted to stay with him."
I sucked in a breath, not really knowing how to respond. My thoughts traced back to my break up with Logan, which I forgot about up until Jess had mentioned him, "Jess…"
He shrugged, cutting me off, "It was just a surprise, is all."
"I'm sorry," I said softly, using my other hand to rake through his messy hair.
He shrugged again, finally looking up at me, "It was just a hit, you know?"
I nodded and leaned against his side, resting my forehead on his collarbone, "Yeah."
He let go of my fingers and wrapped an arm around my waist, kissing the top of my head, "I'm sorry about your break up with Logan." I shrugged to his remark and he let the subject drop, "Movie?"
I took in a breath and pulled back nodding, "Sure- you pick." He started smirking and I shook my head, "Nothing with Kate Hudson, sorry."
"Well then, Ms. Bossy-Pants, it's not really my pick then, now is it?" His smirk grew bigger as I narrowed my eyes.
"Just pick the damn movie."
**
"Mom?" I grumbled into the phone.
"So uh, thanks daughter of mine," Her voice sounded stressed.
"Mom?" I grumbled again, opening my left eye that wasn't crushed into the pillow and staring at the clock: 3:03AM, "It's three o'clock in the morning?"
"Hm, well…" She mumbled back, "You get Jess to tell me that you're in the hospital with Logan; Jess not exactly being the most talkative guy, and you don't even call me when you get home? What is that?"
"Mom!" I whined into the phone, "Early morning; sun still not up. Night, night."
"Excuse me, miss!" She warned into the phone, "Get up and tell me what happened- you had me worried sick!"
I sighed and groaned as I flipped over to my back, rubbing a hand over my face. I blinked my eyes and cleared my throat, "Logan jumped off a building."
"Suicide?" She gasped.
"No, more like Life and Death Brigade," I stated as if it were obvious, "And don't even get me started, I fought with him over that too."
"Too?" She questioned, "What else did you fight over?"
I stared up at the ceiling, "Not really a fight… he told me he loved me."
"Whoa," My mother sounded shocked; she cleared her throat and continued, "And…?"
"And…" I dragged it out, "We broke up."
She was silent for a moment and cleared her throat again, "How are you feeling about that?"
"Not very good," I mumbled, "I just… I just couldn't say it back."
She made a 'hm' noise and stayed quiet a little longer.
"Mom?" I questioned into the phone.
"Yeah?"
"Jess is moving to New York."
"Double whoa," I bit my lip as she sighed into the phone, "And how do you feel about that?"
"A lot of different things," I sighed into the phone, "Grateful being the most dominant, but then when I think about it- I feel nervous and worried."
"Why?"
"Well…" I licked my lips, trying to think of how to explain it, "What if the distance was what kept us connected? Like I know we have Oliver, but… what if we see each other all the time instead of just the weekends and get sick of each other?"
"You'll deal," My mother answered immediately, "And it's not like you guys will see each other every day; just most days."
"Hmm…" I shrugged.
"Plus, Oliver will be starting school soon, so Jess won't have to miss all of that either."
"Yeah," I nodded, "Did I mention he's going to open another book and publishing store here?"
"No!" She replied, "That's really good for him, tell him congratulations from Luke and I!"
"I will," I smiled, thinking back to how proud and happy his eyes were when he mentioned it to me.
"But seriously," My mother cut through my thoughts, "How are you with the whole Logan thing?"
I shrugged again, "It wasn't… It was hard and I'm miserable," I nodded, "But… I can't help but feel like it was the right move, you know?"
"I'm sorry, kid," I could hear the frown in my mothers voice, "It'll get better; but like I said before, just focus on Oliver right now."
I nodded, my eyes starting to close, "Alright Mom, I'll call you later."
"Okay, sweets. Love you."
"You too," I smiled, pulling the cordless away from my ear and pressing the end button.
I put the phone on the bedside table and laid back down in bed, raking my fingers through my knotted hair and flopped over to my side, trying to find a comfortable position. I heard footsteps out in the hallway and swallowed, glancing to my door that was open a little so I could hear if Oliver was awake or not.
The heavy footsteps got closer to my door and panic washed through me as I pulled the blankets over my head and laid still.
"Ror?" I heard from the creaking door.
I yelped a little as my heartbeat raced. I pushed the blankets off me and glared at Jess, "You know, you almost gave me a heart attack?! I thought you were someone breaking in!"
A smirk flashed across his face and amusement flickered in his eyes as he crossed his arms and leaned on the doorframe, "So, you hide under the blankets?"
"Shut up," I mumbled, turning on my side and propped my head up on my hand.
Jess was wearing a pair of black sweatpants, his white and blue boxers peeking out the top and wasn't wearing a shit. The moonlight illuminated his toned and dark body as he stood still, the smirk still on his face, "Couldn't sleep?"
"Mom called," I nodded and raised an eyebrow to him, "You can come in you know."
Jess just rolled his eyes and walked in, flopping down on the bed, "God, Rory; I think next time I stay here, you get the couch. I'll stay in your bed."
"No way," I mumbled, giving him some blankets and hugging a pillow while just staring at him, "Why aren't you asleep?"
"I heard you talking," Jess lifted the arm closest to me up and bent it under his head, turning his face to me. He laid his left hand on the blankets that rested on his stomach, "I thought you were talking to yourself, so I came to check it out. I didn't remember you talking in your sleep."
"Maybe because your snoring drowns out everything out," I retorted back.
He gasped, raising his left hand and placed it over his chest in mock hurt, "I do not snore!"
"Oh, you do!" My eyes widened as I nodded, "I'll record it if you want proof."
He rolled his eyes, "That won't be necessary."
I yawned, "If you say so."
Jess smiled softly at me and dropped his right hand over my shoulders, pulling me to his body, "Go to sleep, crazy."
I yawned again and wrapped an arm around his waist, snuggling to his warmth, "Night Jess."
He kissed the top of my head and ran his hand up and down my back soothingly, "Night Ror."
--
A/N: Heeeey so here's chapter nine! hope you like it. lemme know what you want to happen next?! How do you think Rory &Jess should get together? What do you think Oliver's reaction will be to Jess moving closer?! come on guys, you're as much apart of this story as i am!!!! thanks for reading guys! subscribe, comment, favourite! :)
