I just bought Ni no Kuni and that's gonna distract me. :P
Chapter F-9: Geek Squad
Teach's cabin
"Ze ha ha ha! In a world of our own, I AM the Pirate King!" Blackbeard danced with a cherry pie in hand. Piles of treasure filled his cabin. "One Piece this, One Piece that, that magnificent treasure is NOTHING compared to what I found!"
"My, you seem ecstatic today." Teach turned when Xehanort appeared from a dark portal. "You should be on guard. One of the Seven Lights is supposed to be coming here."
"Bill already told me. I'm actually excited to meet her! Sheila Frantic…"
"I'm also curious about this Light. In my home universe, there are Seven Princesses of Heart, whose hearts are overflowing with light. I wonder if these Lights are the same."
"Then feel free to watch if you wish. The kids should be arriving soon. Hopefully they won't be destroyed too easily—the spectators will be disappointed!"
Paradox Space
Sector V was flying through a region of enormous waterfalls, pouring into the Galactic Sea. Haylee drove the C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. close to the falls as Sheila stuck her hand out and let it brush across. "Mates, the outer space in this universe is LOADS better than the one in our universe! Who wants utter blackness with little white dots, Arceus shoulda decorated it more! I mean, he did with this place!"
"It's fantastic and all, but if your planets were this close to this much rushing water, it would feel pretty unsettling. And noisy." Haruka inferred.
"How will we even know what Treasuria looks like?" Mason asked, staring boredly out the window. "That Terezi chick didn't make a very good drawing."
"Well, you could tell it was a treasure map drawing, couldn't you?" Haylee replied.
"That's not the point! What, we're supposed to look out for a ginormous treasure map?"
"Uhh, there's a very good chance at that. Hee hee!"
"Come on, this universe can't be THAT weird."
"Dude, there's a giant freaking treasure map. Outside." Harry stated.
"You're kidding."
"He's not, Bro." Haru smiled.
Indeed, they were nearing a gigantic treasure map with drawn landscapes, lines, sun, and clouds. The big label at the top read TREASURIA. Haylee expected her ship to pierce a hole in the massive piece of paper, but upon passing it, the map became three-dimensional. The islands, sea, and sky acquired a natural color, and pirate ships sailed every corner of the map. It was a pirate paradise that Sheila was overjoyed to see.
Their arrival was noticed by Captain Teach via a telescope. "They're here! Time for a surprise landing!"
His sniper, Van Augur, was perched on a crow's nest, aiming at the bus's engine from afar.
"MOVE aside." Augur was pushed off by Braig, Xehanort's henchman. "That second eye will distract you." He locked his Arrowgun on the engine and took the shot.
"AAAH!" The kids screamed as the ship rattled. "What just hit us?!" yelled Artie.
"I don't know, but it's in critical condition." Haylee said. "I'm landing on that island."
The bus was forced to make a crash-landing on the beach of a small island. The kids decided to step out for some fresh planet air. Haylee yanked a pink arrow out of the engine. "This looks like something Fybi would shoot. Anyway, me, Artie, and Harry can fix it in no time. You guys should start looking for these 'IDA' people."
"HEAR ME, TREASURIA!" Sheila called. "I am Sunny-Fist Sheila, and I am the queen of ALL pirates! Just thought I'd let ya know, seein' as I'm about to conquer you." She cracked knuckles.
A second later, the pirate ships began to bombard their beach with cannonballs. "AAACK! Dang it, Sheila, why'd you have to piss them off?!" Haylee screeched.
"I didn't know they'd be that sensitive!"
"They were probably against us from the start!" Chris said. "I guess I'll just stay back and help guard the ship."
"Me and Haruka will look in that region, Sheila and Mason can go that way." Aurora decided.
"Be sure to knock 'em dead, Sheila!" Haylee cheered.
"Oh, Ah can't do that, mate. Then there'll be no one to admire me!" She smirked.
"Don't go without your first mate!" Mason announced. (Play "A New Venture" from Sonic Rush Adventure!)
Stage F-6: Land of Maps and Treasure
Mission: Find the IDA's ship!
Sheila and Mason jumped across a series of floating barrels, being wary of the ones that would be destroyed by the cannons. When they made it to the last barrel, a cannonball splashed behind and flung them toward the nearest ship. Cutlass Guys burst out of barrels and began furiously attacking the kids, Sheila quickly dodging and countering with Light Fists. She knocked three Shy Guys off the deck with one kick, then spun a large Light Fist to squish four more flat. "Sheila, watch up!" Mason yelped—they danced to dodge the bullets of a Snipe Guy on the crow's nest.
"I'll punch his eyepiece in!" Sheila ran up the mast, maneuvering left or right to avoid the bullets, and once up top, she punched the Guy's gun into his face and sent him falling. The Shy Guy dropped a Catch Card, and the girl inside it was Mey-Rin, a British maid with dark-magenta hair in pigtails and big glasses that hid her eyes. "OHH thank ya so much for savin' me, it's been REAL 'ectic where Oi've been, yes it was!"
"Oi, it's been 'ectic for me 'ere, too, eh?" Sheila replied. "But 'ey, Ay've got a hankering to be walloping some pirate booty!"
"OI, that sounds like a roight good time, a roightio good time indeed, yes it do, wakka-wakka!"
"What's wrong with you?" Mason asked.
"I took some BAD SAUS-ages, yes some bad SAUS-ages I did ate, yes sir indeed sir, yes sir I DID!" Mey-Rin answered.
"Argh, I 'ate bad sausages, I mean I ate some AND I 'ated 'em, you betcha I did, it's true!" Sheila followed.
"Truer than a truth-telling bottle o' truna fish-"
"UGH, gimme that!" Mason swiped the card and stuffed it in his sweater. "Focus, Sheila!"
"Orright then! I say we give that harpoon a li'l spin!" Sheila ecstatically hopped onto the giant spear, and Mason asked no questions as he joined his captain. The harpoon FLEW across the sea and pierced the hull of a distant ship. Barrels rolled around uncontrollably, forcing Sheila and Mase to make careful jumps. They hopped up some stairs and countered Barrel Spider Heartless, which could be destroyed in one belch of Mason's Gas Bomb. The kids climbed a rope ladder up to the deck and were swarmed by three Mega Chatots – their tails looked like treble clefs and the blue feathers were red.
The parrot Pokémon screeched sonic waves to harm Sheila's raccoon ears, followed by a strike with their talons, but she ducked and used a Light Kick on the first Chatot. Mason used his bending to force Purple Flurp into the parrots' mouths and trap them in a burping trance. Sheila grabbed them each in her Light Fists, whirled them around, and slammed them against the deck.
The world began to tremble under the force of an earthquake, so powerful that chunks of the sea sprouted up like cliffs. "Uh-oh! This ship's going over, Sheila!" Mason cried.
"I reckon it's time to scale some tidal waves!" Sheila whipped out her Keyblade and cast a charm on her feet to make them shine with light. "There! Now I'll be light enough to walk on waves, but not too fast to see anything. Grab hold, Mason!" Sheila grabbed her friend's wrist and leapt off the boat, skidding across the water and jumping up the liquid cliffs. Mega Blastoise stuck their cannons out of the walls and blasted strong jets that Sheila was quick to evade.
The kids raced between an oceanic trench where Mega Sharpedos sped up to attack them. Sheila had to release Mason and use giant Light Fist to keep them at bay, socking the sharks in the teeth. They each took three strong hits before they conked out, tiring Sheila, but she retained her strength in time to save Mason, who was struggling swimming in these currents. There was a gap in the left trench wall with a Catch Card in a bubble. Sheila Wall Jumped up this gap to snatch the card. The card contained Maui, a large, tan-skinned man with lots of tattoos. "Wow, rescued by a little girl again? What's wrong with you, Maui…"
"Hey, it's okay to say, 'You're welcome.'" Sheila remarked, putting him away. At the end of this ocean trench was a humongous pirate ship with a wall of cannons. The cannons fired Missile Bills that homed in on Sheila with devilish smirks. "Hop on, Mason." She threw her friend up on her shoulders and used her keen agility to hop up the Bullet Bills. Now that she was on the deck of the ship, she could set Mason down and massacre the band of Heartless Pirates with light. Mason sat down and had a drink of soda, watching her slay the Heartless without trouble.
With the deck open to exploration, Sheila went about and destroyed boxes and barrels that held nothing important. The two ran to the keel where a rope sloped all the way up a mast. Sheila held Mason's hand and raced up the rope with excellent balance. They got atop a pole, and from there Sheila could jump and tail-glide to a rope hanging from the top of the center mass. (Mason had his own means of gliding, but not in polite company. ;P) From this top, the two could grind down a rope stretching across the sea and ending on a buoy. More buoys composed this part of the sea.
"Aye, Mason, Ay say this place is good for a swim. Will ya join me?" Sheila jumped in the sea and began the swim, so Mason happily joined.
The Jaws music played as a blue shark named Snacker swum after them. "Sniff, sniff. Snacker smells tasty raccoon treat."
"Yipe! Sheila, jump on that bobby thing!" Mason pointed at said "bobby thing" (a buoy), and they made it onto it before Snacker could dine. (I mean snack. Otherwise he'd be Diner. :P) The shark hungrily circled their platform. "Ugh, he won't leave. But this will make him!" Mason crouched, aimed his rear at Snacker, and farted weaker Gas Bombs. Wincing at the stench, the shark retreated. "Haha! Sheila, you ever think about shooting Light Balls this way?"
"Mason, why did we ask the author to cut my poisonbending?"
"I know…" The two continued swimming from buoy to buoy, with Mason having to fart Gas Eggs whenever Snacker attacked. There was an even farther buoy with a Catch Card on it, so the kids took a moment to catch breath and made the risky swim, using tail propeller and farts to go faster. They reached the buoy before Snacker could bite Mason's feet. The Catch Card contained a red squirrel in a blue shirt named Conker.
"Ooo, another squirrel!" Conker smiled. "Wait…" He frowned. "Oh, no, those are way too small. You must be 14 or somethin'."
"Ah'm a raccoon, ya dingo." Sheila snapped, giving the card to Mason. They swam back to the main buoys and made it to the final one. A huge submarine surfaced in the distance and launched Torpedo Teds. The kids skipped across the Teds like they were playing Hopscotch. The hull of the submarine was slippery, but Sheila moved her feet fast enough to get them on top. Hearty Wrenches (Heartless Rocky Wrenches) popped out of holes and quickly hurled their namesake tools.
After Sheila took her time destroying the Heartless, another earthquake rumbled the world. "WAAAAAH!" They gawked when a group of ships burst out of the sea and threatened to crush them. Sheila imbued her feet with light again and performed terrific leaps from ship to ship, and Mason cried as he flailed from her arm like blowing laundry. This dangerous route was bringing them to the largest ship of all, raising black sails with a three-headed skull. The Sunny Fist landed on the sea and dashed across the surface, sidestepping to evade Sharpedos.
"Hold your lunch, Mason! It's gonna be a bumpy landing!" She spun her tail and took flight, the wind rushing past as they soared over the ship.
"Whoa…" Mason wasn't expecting what they saw: the ship was a sailing stadium, and the stands were filled with roaring, drinking pirates.
"Blimey, it's some sorta show! Let's see if we can be part of it!"
"Good idea, Sheila! By using reverse psychology, maybe we won't turn out to be part of the SHOOOOWW!" They went in with a nosedive, and Sheila brushed along the floor of the arena before forcing her sandals against it and skidding toward the edge of the moat. (End song.)
"ZEE HAA HAA HAAAAA!" A chubby Pirate Emperor roared from his throne booth. "What an entrance, WHAT AN ENTRANCE! Lasses and mateys, introducing the star of this show, the main attraction: the Sunny Fist Sheila Frantic!"
"Reverse psychology backfired." Mason moaned.
"Bloody hell! This world knew my name faster than I did!"
"Sheila, it's him again! It's Blackbeard!"
"CORRECT! I am Marshall D. Teach, the Pirate King BLACKBEARD! Conqueror of over 100 pirate worlds! These people are my loyal subjects! I promised them all a land where they could sail free and HERE WE ARE! Captain Barbossa, Captain Hook, Captain Blackeye, Blackbeard from the Caribbean Dimension, Blackbeard from Never Land, Blackbeard from the Xiaolin Realms, Blackbeard from the Assassin's Creed Dimension—wow, I'm really popular. Ahem, throw in the other contestants!"
"OAF!" "OW!" Chris, Aurora, and Haruka were tossed in the ring by a huge, muscular Mexican wrestler.
"What a pathetic little crew she has!" Jesus Burgess grinned evilly.
"Guys?!" Mason questioned their being here.
"We got jumped by a blue-haired guy in a cloak." Haruka explained.
"Aurora called me, but when I tried to save them, that Mexican guy got me." Chris followed.
"Behold, my scallywag subjects, for these children believe to be the heroes who can defeat the invincible Lord English! Are they truly worthy of their hype?! Only this battle royal will tell! Because IF they don't battle, they get to watch one of their own get SQUASHED!"
"What does that mean?!" Aurora shouted.
Xehanort appeared from a dark portal, holding a handcuffed Kirie Beatles. "KIRIE!"
"That's playing dirty, ya fat pile of DOG MEAT!" Sheila snapped.
"Oh, you don't know two-thirds of it!" Teach smirked. "So, will you fight?! Or should I kill her RIGHT NOW?!" He raised a Tremor Fist above Kirie.
"NO! !" Chris screamed. "WE'LL FIGHT!"
"YEH, JUST SAVE YOUR FISTS FOR ME!" Sheila yelled.
"Ze ha ha ha! I just knew you would agree! All right… send in the first fighter! Hailing from the Funtom Dimension, he's a talented butler of the Phantomhive Manor, Black Butler Sebastian Michaelis!"
A man in a black attire with smooth black hair, complimented by sharp red eyes stepped into the arena. "A butler? Seriously?" Chris smirked wryly.
"I'm no mere butler, dear boy." Sebastian spoke charmingly. "I'm simply one hell of a butler."
"You're simply a waste of time!" Sheila shot a Light Sphere, but Sebastian zipped up and punched her across the ring.
"Sheila! Grrrr!" Chris punched fire fists, but Sebastian easily dodged and jabbed fingers to blast him away as well. "That's it!" He went Combustion Fury and rocketed for the butler, throwing punches that he evaded, but then Sebastian grabbed the flaming fists and pushed with equal force. Chris shot quick Heat Vision and burned Sebastian's eyes, then he carried the butler up, burned like a comet, and CRASHED him into the arena floor. Chris bit Sebastian's neck with sharpened teeth, punched him rapidly, then kicked him across the field with a flaming boot.
"CHRIS, calm down!" Aurora touched him with icy hands and steamed Chris's fire. "Don't lose control!"
"Oh, my…" Sebastian weakly stood up. "It seems I'm not the only demon here. How very… interesting." He smiled. "I concede from this match."
"WHAT?!" Teach shouted. "Now, wait just a sec! If you want your master returned in one piece, you give us a battle worth the berries they paid!"
"Oh, who are you trying to deceive? I overheard your cohorts saying that you lost all your cards. I shall seek out my master now. It was an honor to entertain you." Sebastian leaped out of the arena as though he were flying.
"Siiiigh…" Teach pinched his nose bridge. "Bane, Burgess, get in there!"
"BWEEEE HEH HEH!" The Mexican wrestler who caught them jumped in with a smaller Mexican wrestler with green pipes in his back. "You must think I'm a JOKE, ordering me to break children, Teach!"
"BREAK THEM!" Bane and Burgess charged in, so Chris and Aurora combined their powers, became a torpedo, and drilled into Burgess' chest.
Mason distracted Bane by flying his soda cans at him, prompting Bane to chase while Haru jumped on his back. "This is a weird contraption." she said, observing the pack connecting the toxic pipes. "I hope this isn't too hazardous." Haruka broke the pipes, and when Bane stopped and tried to reach her, she stuck her fingers in his neck to implant her antibodies.
Burgess punched down at Aurora, who dodged and froze his fist to the ground, then Chris rocketed against his face twice. Sheila grabbed Burgess' head with giant Light Fists, pulled him against the floor, then Chris and Aurora flew high above and stamped the back of his head with fire and ice heels.
"COME ON, Burgess, you're stronger than that!" Teach yelled. "Are you letting these brats make a joke out of you?!"
"Agh… these kids are… stronger than they look."
"You BET WE AH!" Sheila cheered. "Come down here and SEE how tough I am!"
"That's it, new rule you brats! All of you but Sheila get out of the arena! We'll see just how strong you are!"
After the kids complied with his demand, 10 Anti Guys and 10 Amazy Dayzees charged into the arena. Sheila faced up at the sun and spun her arms, shining wheels of light, and as she zoomed around the field, a trail of these light wheels was left in her wake. She halted, grabbed her Keyblade, and directed all the wheels into the powerful enemies. They were still standing, so Sheila formed two giant Light Fists and batted them off the ring.
Twenty Mega Raichu scampered into the ring, lightning bolts all over their sparking bodies. They all struck lightning at Sheila, but she caught it all on the tip of her Keyblade, a ball of energy growing from it. "EAT YOUR OWN SPARKS!" She fired a powerful beam and blew all the Raichu against the wall. "Grrrr, this is really pissing me off, Blackbore!"
"Ze ha ha ha ha! You're amazing, Sunny Fist Sheila! It's clear that these clowns are beneath you! You'd be an excellent addition to my crew. Why don't we stop this petty battle and I'll take you on an adventure through the multiverse? We'll be the ultimate crew, unstoppable! So many new things to see, for the rest of eternity we will sail! It's what you want greater than anything, isn't it?!"
"Are you bonkers, mate? I'll go on me OWN adventure through the multiverse before I go with you! And I'll take all me mates, too!"
"Oh, I think not, Sheila. A strong captain like you must have a strong crew to serve her! And little weaklings like this brat make you look pathetic!" Teach stomped toward Kirie.
"YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T HURT HER!" Sheila fumed.
"I'm a liar, Sheila, ALL pirates are liars! ISN'T THAT RIGHT, MATIES?!"
"YAAAARRRR!" roared the audience.
"A show isn't exciting unless SOMEONE DIES!" Blackbeard raised his Tremor Fist above Kirie, who shut her eyes in terror.
At the speed of light, Sheila zipped up to Teach's throne and PUNCHED him down to the arena, his blubbery body bouncing three times and denting a crater with each. "YOOOOOOWCH ouch ouch ouch!" He rolled around desperately to shake the pain off.
"YUH!" Sheila ripped off Kirie's cuffs. "You orright, Kirie?" She smiled and nodded. "Good! Now if ya'll excuse me." She jumped back to the arena. "Why don't we give these blokes a REAL show?! A feisty little sheila sockin' the jaw out of a walrus, they'll laugh their false teeth off!"
"Ze ha ha! If that's how you want to play, Sheila! Let's see how much you TRULY resemble Straw Hat! !" (Play "K. Rool Battle" from Donkey Kong 64!)
Boss fight: Marshall D. Teach
Sheila spun twin Light Fists and hurled them at Teach, who absorbed them in a black hole and spat them back. Sheila grabbed the fists again and dodged when Teach leapt forward, but she was bounced into the air by the pirate's shockwave. Sheila used this moment to spin around and charge a Light Kick, but Teach was quick to grab her foot, cancel the power, and slam Sheila into the floor. The captain leapt in an attempt to smash her, but Sheila recovered in time to evade and jump to prevent the shockwave from bouncing her.
Blackbeard used Dark Lungs – his mouth became a black hole as he began to suck Sheila in like a vacuum. Using superior speed, Sheila ran from the suction, which lasted for 10 seconds before Teach got tired. Sheila seized his weak moment to rush up and kick him in the crotch, resulting in Teach hacking spit out, followed by a storm of lightspeed punches across his face. Sheila then leapt behind for a mighty kick that sent Teach forward and on his belly. Sheila ran to pounce on his back and let loose another round of punches, but Teach suddenly flipped and smashed her underneath.
The emperor got up and grabbed the flattened Faunus, spinning around before chucking Sheila over the edge. She slowed her descent with her tail and started swinging her feet, building momentum so she could skid along the water. She ran circles around the ring, until she finally made a great leap to attack her adversary, only for Blackbeard to throw a Dark Sphere and knock her back toward the edge. "Ze ha ha ha ha! You're just like Luffy! All he knew how to do was punch and kick! But at least HE could STRETCH!"
"And you think I don't?!" Sheila smirked. She leapt up on her feet and spun, her tail attached to a long stream of light that whipped out of the water around the ring. Teach turned to follow this stream, but was WHACKED by the end on Sheila's side, who then proceeded to flip in midair to smash Teach under the Light Tail. With that, Sheila spun her left foot for some power, leapt over the captain again, and stamped his face to dent a head-size crater in the floor.
Teach caught his breath as he got back up, Sheila's sandal indented in his face. "Don't you understand, Sheila?! You were bound for so much more than that measly crew of yours! We BOTH are! A whole multiverse, a whole eternity of endless adventures, what more would you want?!"
"I want a universe that ain't bein' ripped apart by some green Hulk ripoff and his loser CREW! My place is unduh the SUN! Not your filthy black holes!"
"Then I guess I have no choice but to up my game. XEHANORT!"
Sector V looked to the top of Blackbeard's throne. The Keyblade Master raised his weapon skyward, shooting a ray of darkness into the sky. Before long, the sun was blot out by dark clouds. "ERRRRRRAH!" A dark aura surrounded Blackbeard. He raised his Tremor Fists and SLAMMED the floor, raining a storm of dark orbs. Sheila ran and nimbly dodged the orbs, but a sandal broke and she slipped. "Ow!" An orb struck her, but Sheila got up in time to dodge the last few. "Meh. Bloody things slow me down." Sheila kicked off the other sandal, charging light in her feet to zip behind and kick Blackbeard's butt.
"GYUH!" Teach retaliated by whipping around and punching Sheila in the head, sending her across the ring and into the water. Sheila quickly resurfaced and jumped back on, but the blow left a stinging pain in her noggin. Sheila spun her arms into Light Wheels, but her arms got tired and the wheels faded. "Zehahahaha! You drew power from the sun, but in the darkness you're powerless!" Teach charged both Tremor Fists and ran at Sheila, but she whipped out her Keyblade as she performed a stylish flip over her adversary.
Sheila channeled light into her Keyblade and shot a beam of light at Teach. When she tried to cast the light skyward, Xehanort fired another dark beam to block it. "That jerk needs to BACK OFF!" Chris Uno flew up to Xehanort with Rocket Boost, punching fireballs that the master blocked. Chris landed and threw kicks at the elder, but when those failed, Chris flew back and blasted Combustion Beam. The roof exploded, but Xehanort surfed up into the air on a stream of Keyblades. He thrusted his own up and struck lightning at Chris, followed by freezing the boy's body up to his head. Chris crashed on the roof and grunted, "What are you, some kinda Avatar?"
Xehanort chuckled. "I packed a CRAP ton of Ethers."
Sheila sprouted up spires of light with her Keyblade and cast them at Teach, who tried to withstand the attacks, but was steadily pushed back. "Graaah!" Teach whipped out his own Keyblade, which was black with white crescent (Whitebeard) teeth, and a three-headed skull for a Keychain. He used the Keyblade to counter Sheila's light spires. "I think I need some fresh air!" Teach waved his Keyblade around, and a ship flew overhead and dropped an anchor. Teach grabbed on and let it pull him up.
A fleet of small ships flew over the arena and began to rain cannonballs. Explosions everywhere, the arena was engulfed in flames. "You must be pretty mad… if ya think this can slow me down!" Sheila raised her Keyblade and cast a spell on herself. Pure light flowed within her feet and her eyes, granting her a better perception of the speed of the world around her. Things moved in slow motion, including the cannonballs. "Heh…" Grinning excitedly, Sheila began to leap from ball to ball, making her way all the way up to Teach's boat. She set foot on the deck behind the captain, and after a few moments, she disabled her power.
"Zah?" Teach turned, surprised to find her there. "Ze ha ha! You continue to surprise me, Raccoon!"
Sheila merely smirked. It took a moment, but the five dozen Keyblade strikes she landed on Teach during that time began to kick in, cuts and scratches appearing on all sides of his fat form. Sheila finished by spinning her foot and kicking Teach off the ship. The pirate spun on his descent, but Sheila went in for a Ground Pound to send Teach crashing into the arena. She slowed her own descent with her tail and faced Teach again, the captain panting and bleeding as he scowled.
"Grrrrr!" Teach clasped the ground and spread darkness to both the arena and around the audience, forcing Sheila to send light to her tail and stay airborne. Everyone in the audience was sucked into Teach's darkness, and with that, it all retracted back into him. "BLAAAAAH!" Teach's stomach opened into a black hole that fired every last audience member at Sheila. She either dodged or blocked with her Keyblade, but the flying people began to overwhelm and hit her, knocking Sheila off the ring.
Sheila climbed out again, but slumped on her legs from exhaust. Blackbeard ran for another twin Tremor Fist, but Aurora used Rocket Boost to swoop down, grab her teammate, and fly up to the stadium roof. Haruka was there, extracting a syringe of orange liquid from her sleeve. "A healthy dose of Vitamin C will make you feel better." She stuck Sheila with it, and she felt her chi restoring itself.
"Thanks, 'aruka. But I would like the real sun better."
"Whenever Chris gets done up there." Aurora said worriedly.
"Have you had enough, yet?" Xehanort asked the boy in question, who was down on his knees.
"Huff, huff… Forget this." Chris chuckled to himself. "Lend me a hand, Gramps."
"Of course, my descendant." A red aura surrounded Chris's body. It displayed horns on his head, Chris's eyes shining red and his teeth sharp.
"Yes…YES!" Xehanort beamed. "I knew I felt it! That darkness burning inside you!" He tried to strike Chris, but a sudden BURST of fire blew him back.
Chris charged his Combustion Beam and unleashed it to the dark sky. It exploded like a mini sun, burning the darkness. Sheila used the Keyblade to attract the light, leaping down and running around Teach. Small Light Spheres appeared from her trail and flew into him, pelting him from every direction. An angered Teach charged at Sheila with Tremor Fists, so she spun Light Fists and made them three times their size. With that, she turned on Teach and let both pairs of fists impact. "AAAAaaahh…" Sheila's knuckles turned red and sore, but she survived the attack.
Teach smacked her away again. "I'm beginning to think this isn't a solo job after all! Boys, it's time to show yourselves!" Sheila watched as Blackbeard's arms and legs turned into claws, crouching like a dog as he grew in size, formed a tail, turned black, and finally grew two extra heads, with all three growing sharp fangs.
"He's a freaking CERBERUS?!" Demon Chris exclaimed.
"That's RIGHT, brats! In the same place I found my Pyrameglyph, I found the Dog-Dog Fruit, Model: Cerberus!
"My two extra heads were able to eat their own Devil Fruits! This one ate the Dark-Dark Fruit, while the third one absorbed the Tremor-Tremor Fruit!" the other head followed.
"I am the ultimate Devil Fruit user: a Zoan, a Paramecia, AND a Logia!
"AND IT'S TIME WE USED OUR TRUE POWER!" The Keyblade formed in the third head's mouth, using it to charge power to the whole body. The Cerberus pushed up off its front paws, imbued with the Tremor Fists, and quaked the arena more furiously than before. It did it once more, and on the third time, Blackbeard caused the very atmosphere to ripple and crack… quite literally, in fact.
The very map that was Treasuria ripped in the part where the battle was transpiring. The area ripped into pieces, drifting in a hyperspace. "Let's see if the sun can reach you in THIS place!" Teach gnashed his three heads at Sheila, but when she ran, the dog spat homing dark balls. She spun two more big Light Fists and hurled them, only for Teach to deflect them with the Keyblade. The Cerberus did a spin attack that knocked Sheila over, then he grabbed her by the tail in one of his teeth. Teach furiously swung her around before Sheila used Midas Body to burn his teeth and escape.
"SHEILA!" Mason screamed. He and his friends were floating on scattered pieces of the arena. "She's getting creamed up there!"
"Sheila can handle herself, right? I mean, she did with Big Mom." Aurora figured.
"Only when she had an unhealthy overdose of sugar." Haruka replied.
Mason gasped. "Sigh… I was afraid it might not have to come to this… but I've been saving something for Sheila." He reached in his sweater pocket and grabbed a gold soda can with a sun image.
"THE SUNNY FLURP?!" Haruka screamed. "You actually broke into the factory and stole it?! In case you forgot, they locked it up for being extremely saturated!"
"It gets better than that, Haruka. I convinced Augustus to steal it… and we added a few drops of Everbubble Fizz."
"WHAT?! ? Mason, Sheila could DIE if she drinks that!"
"She'll die to Blackbeard if she gets too exhausted. I'm sure she'll survive… after all, she's freaking overpowered."
"Sigh…" Aurora was unsure of this plan, but she complied. "I'll take you to her." She flew over to Mason with Rocket Boost and grabbed him.
Sheila evaded Teach's teeth with lightspeed and punched him in the gut, followed by kicking him to a ripped piece of the map that had the audience stands. The captain waved his Keyblade again and summoned a larger ship to crash through Sheila's foothold keel-first. Sheila leapt and grabbed the keel as it crashed through, using Light Feet to run up the vertical ship. She saw Blackbeard look down at her from the back end of the ship, and when she was ready to clash Keyblades, Teach channeled his Tremor power into his enlarged Keyblade and struck her with superior force.
Sheila blew through several scattered pieces of the ship before splashing in some water. Teach then commanded more ships to bombard her with cannonballs, and Sheila floated exhaustedly on her sliver of ocean. "SHEILA!" Mason and Aurora made it to her. "Sheila, drink this!" He held out the forbidden soda.
"SUNNY FLURP?!" Sheila yelped. "But… Mason… do ya really think I'm ready to behold such power?"
"GET OUT OF MY WAY! !" Blackbeard pounced forth to feast on the children, one for each head.
"You can do it, Sheila… I know you can."
"…" Sheila nodded and took the Sunny Flurp. She cracked it open and drunk away. ! ! ! ! ! (End song.)
At that moment, every ounce of her mind and body was opened to a whole new world. Her body evolved to a force that was even faster than light. Around her, billions and billions of tiny orbs were moving slowly. Were they fairies? Were they fireflies? No… they were particles of light, generated by the sun. She took one in her fingers, smiling with wonder. Yet, everything else – the waves, the cannonballs, the people, were frozen in time.
Blackbeard's teeth were a second away from biting them. Sheila looked around at all the scattered pieces of the map. She began to swim freely, grab these pieces by the edges, and bring them back together like a puzzle. She only knew which pieces went together since the soda heightened her thinking, too. She reconfigured enough of the arena so she would have a better time focusing. She then carried her friends to a safe spot away from Teach. So with that, Sheila used her Keyblade like a vacuum, flying around and absorbing every light particle that was within range. This caused this entire area, for a brief second, to be swallowed in darkness until more light came. And then, Sheila began to mold all this light into a ginormous fist.
With this fist, Sheila grabbed Cerberus Teach by a head and hurled him partway up. She then whirled and whirled and whirled the fist, positioned it to aim directly up, and fired it like a cannon. Blackbeard Teach was sent flying beyond the atmosphere. That's when time returned to normal for Sheila. The speed blew the fiery clouds away and revealed the sunny sky again.
"Gh-!" Mason flinched when they were suddenly in the arena. "What… just happened?! I gave Sheila the soda and we just warped! Hu- SHEILA!" He saw his friend lying down.
"That soda was… bloody amazing." She gasped.
Paradox Space
"Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh…" A golden comet hurled across the realm, catching fire as it did.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH…!" Blackbeard's Cerberus body was flat against the fist, absorbing the full force of the flame.
When Wendy looked up from the Noah's deck, she spotted something. "Look, everyone! That sun looks like it's growing!"
"It's not growing!" Sugar yelled. "It's getting closer! MOVE!" Everybody ran inside before the humongous fist collided with the invincible ship.
A terrific explosion of light engulfed the Noah. It was so bright that Wendy would have to cast Sunshade Spells on all her friends to rid them of blindness. When everyone came to, they saw what had crashed on their deck. Marshall D. Teach, having reverted to human form, was a bloody mess. "Graaah… this universe is… more batshit crazy… than mine." His Keyblade vanished.
"Hm hm hm." Nebula giggled. She recognized that golden fist. "It looks like… they defeated another one. Way to go, Sheila."
"Another Darkness defeated?!" Wendy beamed. "That's amazing! Now there's only 10 to go!
"Astounding." Carla said. "If one of our friends did that… the universe is going to be hectic when this is over."
Treasuria
"Cough…cough…" Sheila was still down. "I did it… mates…"
Mason caught a card that drifted down from Blackbeard's coat. It depicted Jack Sparrow. "Hehe! Neat find! …Sheila!" He and the others ran to her aid. "Can you stand up?"
"Ergh… My bones ain't used to that speed… but they'll be apples after a few kips. Well, not literal apples, more like… gold or something. I can't think of a good—ARRGH!"
"SHEILA!" they cried when a Keyblade stabbed her. It was thrown by Xehanort from the throne's roof. The blade returned to his possession as a bright light flew out of Sheila's chest and up to him.
"A heart of pure light…" Xehanort held his hand below it. "Yet… there is the tiniest hint of darkness. Perhaps it is to your liking… Davy Jones."
Mountains of waves rose over the ship and blocked the sun. Davy Jones stood at the top, commanding the waves like a true king of the sea. "It can't be!" Haruka yelled. "Melody said she defeated him!"
"You kids will be disappointed to learn that Thanos has brought Jones back to life." Xehanort responded. "And his desires have changed."
He passed Sheila's heart up to the Heartless Captain. He gently took Sheila's heart and absorbed it in his tentacles. "Melody did open my heart… and that tiny ounce of light warmed mine. I will drown the universe in despair… and I will devour every heart of light until my darkness fades."
"We thank you for wearing Sheila out so that her heart was weak." Xehanort said. "Bill will be happy to know we've slain one of the Seven." He vanished into darkness, so Jones proceeded to drop the great waves and drown everyone remaining.
"GRAVITY BOMB!" An explosion from an unseen source caused the waves to remain afloat, dividing into droplets. A ship flew through the waves and used an attraction beam to bring the kids onboard. Jones watched in spite as they made their escape, seeing the logo IDA painted on the vessel.
"Sheila! Sheila, wake up!" Mason shook his friend, but her vibrant blue eyes were half-closed and dull. He touched her chest and felt a heartbeat. "She's alive, but…"
"What is this place?" Chris asked, looking around.
"You're on an IDA Transport Vessel." a voice said from the pilot's seat. The hands working the controls had six-fingers. "Howdy! The name's Stanford Pines." The seat turned, revealing a man with a big nose and brown jacket. "Tell me, do you kids know a girl named Kimaya?"
"Kimaya?" Haruka replied. "She's a friend of ours."
"Hold on, did you say 'IDA'?" Aurora asked. "We were sent to find you!"
"Well, what a coincidence! We came to this universe to locate YOU kids… until someone lost control of the wheel."
"I TOLD you I wasn't a helmsman!" a teenage boy in a straw hat retorted, picking his nose.
"Never trust a Monkey to work inter-dimensional traveling technology." Ford said.
"I see you are acquainted with Xehanort." A yellow-haired man with a red cape and goatee walked in. "He has taken this girl's heart."
"Will she become a Heartless?!" Haru shouted.
"It is possible… though, her body would be disappearing."
"The trolls said you people had a way to beat the Darknesses." Chris recapped. "So, do you?"
"Yes. We have created something that should help. Please, in here."
The man, Ansem the Wise, led them to the back of the vessel. There were three more men: Kisuke Urahara, who wore a green-striped bucket hat, a dark-green jacket, and a pair of geta; Silvers Rayleigh, who had grey hair, glasses, shorts, and tan skin; and Kakashi Utake, a silver-haired ninja with a green pocket vest. They were in front of a large green, glass chamber. "They call us the Geek Squad." Ford said after introducing them all.
"It's Rayleigh!" Chris recognized. "The man who trained Maddy!"
"Who?" Rayleigh cocked a brow. "How do you know my name?"
"I thought that was a Zoni disguised as that guy." Mason recalled.
"These children already seem to know more than we do." Kakashi figured.
"What's that big room?" Aurora asked.
"When the IDA rescued us from our crumbling worlds, they asked us to construct this chamber using special materials." Kisuke answered. "This Prison Chamber was suited with Seaprism, Sekkiseki, chi-blocks, anti-magic, anti-ecto, and all kinds of material that render any and all kinds of power, no matter how massive, completely useless."
"It can even prevent Keyblade wielders from calling their weapon." Ansem said. "Indeed, this may be the single strongest cell in the entire multiverse. It will be perfect to detain those scoundrels."
"It completely cancels the powers of anything in this cell?" repeated Aurora. "Maybe it could even get rid of the protection charms around the Darknesses' Keyblades!"
"This cell isn't completely invincible, however." Kisuke mentioned. "Godly powers like those of Lord English won't be repressed."
"As long as it contains the other Darknesses, we'll be okay."
"Is there any way we can help Sheila?" Mason asked.
"If we can recover her stolen heart, we can revive her." Ansem answered. "You should keep her safe for now."
"This is Nebula calling Sector V." Her image appeared on Aurora's wristwatch. "Can anyone explain to me why a giant golden fist crashed onto the Noah's deck?"
"Oh! Hehe! Sorry, Nebula!" Aurora grinned.
"Perfect time to test it out. Let's find them and imprison Teach." Chris stated.
"Test it on Blackbeard?" Rayleigh cocked a brow. "Should be simple enough."
"Luckily, you kids managed to wear him down." Kisuke said. "Otherwise, we couldn't just make them waltz into this cell. Think you can keep it up with the rest of them?"
"We sure hope so…" Chris sighed. For a brief moment, the Darkness count was down to 10. But with Jones back, it was back at 11. Of course, since the Darknesses could casually bring their members back to life, detaining them in an unbreachable cell was the next best option.
I've been planning the Geek Squad for a long while. XD So many crossovers in this chapter, where to begin. But hey, first time a Darkness actually fought a Light.
