Sarah must have fallen asleep, and slept soundly, because by the time she woke, it was already light out.

Just a few more minutes, she thought groggily, not bothering to open her eyes. She was comfortable. She was warm. She was…moving?

Sarah became acutely aware that the soft bed she was laying against had ruffles, and smelled very good. Like rosemary and pine. Her eyes flew open, and she found herself in the arms of the Goblin King, being carried princess-style. The girl immediately lost her breath, and turned bright mahogany. There was silence for a few moments. Then a bewildered shriek. In a matter of seconds, Sarah was out of his arms and against the Labyrinth wall, blushing madly.

"What the hell, Jareth?!" She cried angrily.

A boyish grin spread itself over the Goblin King's face.

"Good morning to you too, Sarah. Although I'd prefer a thank-you. You're heavier than you look."

Sarah turned, although it seemed physically impossible, ever redder.

"Why were you carrying me?!" she demanded shrilly.

"I thought the answer would be apparent," Jareth replied, "We needed to get moving, and you were still sleeping. You are lucky I'm such a gentleman, or I would have woken you up."

"Gentlemen don't carry off girls in their sleep!" The girl howled, "Only perverts do that!"

Jareth's smirk vanished, replaced by an indignant grimace and a rather noticeable blush of his own.

"W-What an ungrateful, insolent girl you are!" he managed, trying to resume his composure, "It's to be expected of your race, I suppose! Fine then! Next time, I'll simply leave you behind!"

Sarah's eyes narrowed into slits.

"Oh yeah?! Well, next time you get stuck aboveground, I'll just…"

Before she finished the sentence, she noticed that Jareth was glaring at her, his arms crossed.

"…and how did you carry me with a broken arm?" She finished in confusion.

Jareth blinked. That had been a quick mood swing. But since he didn't particularly relish Sarah's anger, he'd take what he could get. He rubbed his right hand gently over his left wrist.

"A parting gift from the Muse. But perhaps we could continue this charming conversation later? Edorin has no doubt sent some of his minions to find us, and I would rather not meet up with them. Now, come along. It's only a bit further."

"What's only a bit further, sire?" Turnok asked, jogging to keep pace with Jareth.

"The fastest route back towards the castle."

Turnok paled.

"Sire…you don't mean…?"

"The Field of Squash?!" Hoggle yelped, stopping dead in his tracks, "Yer plannin' on leadin' us through that death trap?!"

"That is precisely my plan, Hogwart," The Goblin King replied, "It is one of the few paths Edorin will never dream of us taking, and as such, is sure to be both unaltered and unguarded."

"A'course the Troll Lord wouldn't suspect it!" The dwarf argued, "Its suicide! It'll save 'im the trouble a' killin' us!"

"S-Sire," the Captain of the Guard spoke up, "Although I hate to agree with the dwarf, he does have a point."

Jareth shot him a withering glare.

"…albeit a t-teeny-tiny one," he stammered, falling silent.

At this point, Sarah was hopelessly perplexed. A field full of squash hardly sounded dangerous, or even mildly threatening. In fact, it sounded like it might be a rather pleasant detour. Unless it was the Labyrinth's version of the vegetable.

What exactly are squash like here, anyway? Sarah wondered, Maybe they secrete poisonous fumes. Or their vines strangle you. Or have huge fang-filled mouths and munch your feet off. Or, knowing how this place is, all of the above.

Yes, running through a field of toxic, vine-strangling, carnivorous squash did sound perilous.

God, I hope I'm wrong, she thought bleakly, What the heck would my parents put on my gravestone?

Sarah really wanted to ask what exactly was so dangerous, but Jareth and Hoggle were too busy arguing to offer her any clarification. So she turned to Leija, who also looked deeply concerned.

"Are squash here evil or something?" She asked.

"Uh, no, Milady," the gnome replied, "The name is a bit misleading, you see. The 'squash' it's talking about isn't so much referencing the vegetable as it is…the verb."

Sarah still didn't really understand, but figured she'd find out soon enough, and stayed quiet. Sure enough, ten minutes later, they arrived at a cracked, vine-covered archway. Beyond it was a grassy meadow strewn with ruins. It looked completely benign.

Now the girl was really confused.

"I don't care what ye say!" Hoggle announced, "I ain't goin' through the Field of Squash!"

Jareth fixed him with a withering gaze that had once made the dwarf fall on his knees and beg for mercy. But it didn't seem to be nearly as effective as it used to be.

"Yes, you will," the blond Fae insisted, "One way or another."

Hoggle winced at the threat, but returned the glare.

"I ain't afraid of ye. Ye's got no magic!"

The Goblin King's face darkened, his mismatched eyes growing volatile.

"Yes, it's true I don't have my powers," He said slowly and evenly, his voice oozing venom, "But you should also recall that your full height barely reaches my knee, which puts you in the perfect range of my foot. It also means that I could throw you very, very far. So either you go into the Field of Squash of your own volition, feet-first, or you go into the Field of Squash of my volition, head-first. The choice is yours."

Hoggle was now trembling, but tried his best (which wasn't very good) to conceal it. He then walked stiffly to the archway, showing he was willing to cooperate. Ambrosious, however, wasn't. He sat in the doorway, ears back, whimpering something awful. Turnok stomped over to the dog and tried to look as threatening as possible.

"Move, mutt!" He growled.

Ambrosious yipped and ran inside. The goblin smiled triumphantly, thinking that his intimidation skills had finally improved. But they hadn't. What had scared the dog was directly behind the goblin. Turnok felt icy breath on the back of his head and turned slowly around.

An enormous, eight-foot tall being, covered from head to toe in thick black armor towered above him, holding a gigantic war axe. It stared down at the small group, its green eyes glowing in its helm.

Sarah gasped. Leija yelped. Hoggle screamed girlishly.

It raised its axe above its head.

"TROOOOOOOLL!" Jareth shouted. Grabbing Leija's wrist and Sarah's wrist, he dragged both of them down. Turnok and Hoggle managed to duck just as the deadly blade swung over them.

The Goblin King twisted his head to face them.

"Into the field! Now!"

This time, no one objected. They ran pell-mell into the meadow. Thundering footsteps behind them signaled that the troll had given chase. Sarah glanced back, and saw in alarm that the troll was hastily gaining. She forced her legs to move faster until she matched Jareth's pace. Still, the giant gained.

Crunch.

Suddenly, the troll disappeared. In its place was a giant ruin. Sarah's eyes widened.

Huh?!

Jareth screeched to a halt, throwing out his arms to shield them. A giant pillar slammed into the ground a foot in front of them. Sarah gasped. All the ruins in the meadow were moving. They were rising up off the ground of their own volition, and crashing back down to earth, trying to crush anything that moved.

No, not crush. Squash.

Enlightenment suddenly fell upon her, but it was not nearly as pleasing as she had thought it would be. Any scrap of satisfaction was overshadowed by the fact giant pieces of stone were trying to kill her. Sarah ducked as another large ruin swooped past. Turnok was zigzagging around the field, ducking and rolling beneath the flying boulders. Hoggle was simply sprinting across the meadow of doom as fast as his short legs could carry him. Thankfully for her, the Goblin King had quickly spotted the path of least resistance, and was pulling her and Leija towards the safety of the other side. Sarah was running as fast as she could, but was still being pulled by Jareth. Leija was offering no struggle; her feet hadn't been able to touch the ground since the troll's untimely demise. Jareth quickly jerked them to the left just as a piece of statue hurdled to the ground. Sarah let out a pained cry as his fingers dug into her wrist. Hearing her, he looked over his shoulder to make sure she was alright. A stone wall altered its course mid-flight and aimed itself at the Goblin King.

"Look out!" Sarah cried.

Jareth whirled around. But it was too late. The wall dived, its massive weight determined to crush the life from his body. Sarah dug her heels into the dirt, whipping them to an abrupt stop. The stone wall collided with the ground, missing Jareth by only inches. Then she saw it. The archway leading back into the Labyrinth, only a few yards away. The blond Fae must have seen it as well, because he took off towards it, charging full speed. The stone wall, however, was not about to let its prey escape so easily. It flew at them once again. Sarah, Leija, and Jareth were only feet from the entrance. But the ruin was faster; it would squash them before they reached it. Thinking quickly, Jareth turned to Sarah.

"JUMP!" He shouted.

They leapt into the air. The wall scooped them up harmlessly and rammed into the archway, throwing them through the door and into the Labyrinth. Seeing that they were now out of reach, the ruins gloomily returned to their resting places. And within moments, the Field of Squash was as quiet as before.

Hoggle and Turnok, who had made it through first, helped them to their feet. Ambrosious greeted them with a lick and happy wag.

"Field…of…Squash, huh?" Sarah panted, glancing at Jareth.

"I really have been…meaning to…rename it," he managed, wiping the sweat from his brow, "My ancestors had…a rather grim sense of humor."

"So that's where it comes from," Sarah mumbled under her breath.

Holy Christmas, Batman! I can't believe I'm already starting chapter ten! O_o This is much longer than any of my previous fanfiction attempts have gotten…and still going strong, too, with the help from my readers, my reviews, and of course other *ahem* motivation…(Jareth brandishes hot poker menacingly). Ahem! Anyway. Thank you for your continued support! I LUVS YOU ALL! AND DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW! *makes big anime eyes* Pweaty pwease?