IN THE MIDST OF IT ALL

Chapter 9

Jason paces around the living room, the telephone handset wedged between his ear and shoulder. With all that's been going on lately, the work has been piling up more than he cares to admit. Sam asked him years ago why he lets Sonny dump all the grunt work onto him. It's times like this that he wonders that very same thing himself.

"Get back to me with the numbers from that casino. Something hasn't been right for a few months now," he orders before hanging up. He's about to make another call when he hears a muffled sound the scares him.

"Sam?" he asks aloud, going to the door and looking outside. Seeing the empty hall, he turns to go back inside when he hears a frightened scream from across the hall.

He runs over to Gia's and knocks on the door, calling her name a few times without answer. Reaching for his gun, he tries the knob to find it unlocked and pushes his way inside, looking for trouble. Not finding any, he puts his gun away and walks over to the couch where Gia is sleeping restlessly, crying out every few seconds.

"Gia," he whispers softly, trying to shake her awake. "Gia, calm down. It's Jason."

She lets out another scream before waking, trembling in fear.

"Don't touch me," she yells, striking out in terror.

"Gia, it's okay. It's Jason."

"Jason?" she whimpers, her confusion evident. "What . . . "

She opens her eyes and realizes where she is. She realizes she's safe and can't be hurt. She lets out a sigh of relief before pulling herself together.

"You okay?" he asks her.

"Fine," she says, standing up and walking over to the bar for a glass of water. "Bad dream."

"Really bad. I heard your scream all the way across the hall."

"Sorry I disturbed you. I'm okay. Really. But thank you for checking."

She wants him to leave. But he doesn't. So she figures they may as well work.

"I, uh . . . I've done some more work on your case against Elizabeth. Her lawyers aren't quite as eager to get into court as they were two weeks ago."

"You think Nikolas has talked to them?"

"Probably. I think he had to let them know what was really going with her and how that affects the situation. The bottom line is that Elizabeth doesn't really have a case for keeping your child from you unless she plans on proving to the courts the type of work you do."

"I'm a coffee importer," he says with a shrug.

"And so long as that's all it can ever be proven you are, then you should be fine. It would be nice to get started with the foster parenting, though. The good reports from the social workers will go far in proving that Sam is safe for any child to be around."

"She's a great mother," Jason says, remembering what it was like when she was pregnant and when they had Hope. "She has so much love to give a child."

"Why don't you two have any?"

"Hasn't worked out for us yet," he shrugs. "This foster thing will be good, I think. Something short term to get her confidence back up and everything."

"Where is Sam? We can go down the Child Protective Services and you two could have a kid by tonight."

"She has an appointment with Dr. Winters today, so she's not home. I think I'd actually like to surprise her. Probably a little boy around Kristina's age so they'd both have someone to play with. Kristina hasn't been talking much and someone her age might do her some good."

Gia can't hide her smile. Jason Morgan is a lot more than she ever thought he was.

"You're a pretty good guy, you know that?"

"Really? Not something I'm usually accused of," he says, smiling with her.

"I think Kristina would love a playmate," Gia smiles. "But why not a little girl? They could play tea parties and stuff."

"No." Jason shakes his head, his conviction strong. "And no babies. It would be . . . just, no. A little boy. About five years old or so would be best."

Gia wonders what that's all about, but doesn't press him on the matter. She doesn't understand it. Little girls are generally easier than little boys. And babies would most likely have less adjusting issues than an older child. But she assumes he has his reasons and doesn't question him on it. She just grabs her coat and walks with him out the door.

- - -

It was hard. Harder than she thought it would be. For the few weeks she's been seeing Lainey, she never quite opened up fully to the woman. But in today's session, it all came pouring out. So much stuff she had been shoving aside and avoiding is fresh on the surface again. It's going to take some time, but she knows she'll be able to handle it all much better eventually. As for right now . . . well, she's not so sure. The jury is still out on that one.

"I know you must see this type of reaction all the time, but I'm still embarrassed," Sam says with a sniffle, accepting a tissue from Lainey. "I'm so sick of crying. It seems like all I do is cry."

"You have plenty to cry about," Lainey says, trying to comfort her. "What you've got to realize is that your pain is important. You have just as much right to your feelings as everyone else. But you tend to push them aside to take care of everyone else. You need to put Sam first, for a change. Do what is going to make Sam happy for once without thought to how it will affect anyone else."

"Not a good idea. That's how this all started, with me having sex with that slime ball of a man my mother calls husband."

"But did you do that to make Sam happy or to punish Sam for not being good enough for Alexis and Jason?"

She gives Lainey an astonished look that quickly turns to confusion. That too is quickly masked and buried. She's not quite ready to deal with what Lainey is suggesting.

"Well, right now, Sam is getting pretty freaked out by all this third person reference to herself," she tries to joke.

"That's okay. Our time is almost up anyway," Lainey says, looking at the clock on the wall. "We can get more into that topic next time."

"I'm sure Sam's going to love that," Sam mutters sarcastically, hopefully out of the doctor's earshot. But when she looks up at Lainey, she sees she wasn't successful.

"Sam, I know this is scary for you, opening up like this and trusting someone with what's going on inside of you."

"Jason is really the only person I've ever trusted. And even still, there are things I don't tell him because I don't want him to feel as if he has to fix all my problems. I don't want him to have to worry about me. He has to worry about so much as it is."

"You mean with the situation with Elizabeth and the baby?"

Sam just nods, afraid she'll tear up again if she says anything at that moment.

"How are you dealing?"

"I don't think I am," Sam sighs as a tear breaks free. "It's so hard, seeing her pregnant with his baby. And for feeling responsible for . . ."

She stops herself and takes a breath, silently repeating what Lainey has been trying so hard to get her to believe.

"It's not my fault Jason slept with Elizabeth. It's not my fault."

"That's right, Sam. Let Jason take the responsibility for his own actions," Lainey reminds her.

"He does take responsibility. That isn't the problem. Elizabeth is the problem. And before you think this is just me being jealous of her or resenting her because of her baby, I'll admit that all of that is true. I am jealous. I want Jason's baby growing inside of me, not her. But it's more than that. She . . . she's starting to scare me, Lainey. She wants Jason all for herself and will use any trick she can to get him. And I'm afraid her tricks are starting to work. I'm not sure how much more of her I can take."

"Are you physically afraid for your life?" Lainey asks, concern in her voice.

"Not so much, no. Because that would leave evidence. No, Elizabeth is more into playing the innocent victim to my big, bad wolf. Everything that happens between us is her word against mine. And people tend to believe her word. Even Jason did at first. She's never given anyone reason not to believe her. She mixes in just enough truth to convince everyone that she truly believes what she's saying, so that even if they don't believe her, they'll feel sorry for her."

"You know what they say. There are three sides to every story: your side, the other side, and the truth that lies somewhere in the middle."

"Not where Elizabeth's concerned," Sam says, a subtle warning in her voice. "Hers is the only truth that matters. So just keep your eyes open, okay?"

She gets up, leaving Lainey sitting there in a stunned silence.

A few minutes later, Lainey is up and out the door to find a cup of coffee. She could use the caffeine.

"Lainey," she hears her name called from the end of the corridor.

How coincidental that it's Elizabeth. Or is it, she has to wonder.

"Lainey, wait up. You going to the cafeteria?"

"Just for some coffee," Lainey explains. "How about you? What are you doing up on the psych floor? I didn't see you on this week's schedule."

"No, I was just passing by. Epiphany needed me to drop off a chart near here. I didn't mind, though. I'm always amazed at who and what I see around here. Like just now. Was that Sam I saw leaving?"

Lainey narrows her eyes at her before answering.

"I can't really say who you saw, Elizabeth. Often times our perceptions are influenced by our expectations."

"Well, if it was her I saw up here, then I can't say I blame her for needing someone to talk to. It must be tough for her to deal with what's happening with Jason and me. She can't seem to let him go, even though she knows he wants to be a part of his child's life."

Not sure where she's going with this, Lainey remains noncommittal with her answers.

"I imagine anyone in this situation would have trouble adjusting."

"True," Elizabeth sighs, laying a hand on her stomach. "It's just that Jason and I have been friends for so long, much longer than he's even known her. She doesn't understand the bond we share. She thinks they bonded before when she was pregnant, but that wasn't Jason's baby. This is. I just wish someone could make her understand that she can't break our bond. Maybe you can, if it comes up in your sessions with her."

"I don't make it a habit to get in the middle of love triangles, Elizabeth. If you want Sam to know something, then I suggest you tell her yourself. Now if you'll excuse me, I just realized my next appointment will be here soon. I need to get back."

"Of course," Elizabeth says, politely excusing her.

Lainey walks back to her office, disturbed at the prior conversation, not sure what to think of either Sam or Elizabeth. For now, however, she just decides to leave it alone. But like Sam suggested, she's going to keep her eyes open, focused on both of them.

- - -

Elizabeth sneaks back to her station, hoping the escape the ever watchful eye of Epiphany.

"Where you been?"

Elizabeth cringes, hoping her little side trip had gone unnoticed.

"For a walk to stretch my legs. I get cramps in them if I'm too sedentary for too long."

"Um hmm. Right," Epiphany says, unconvinced. "Listen, whatever you do, be careful. Deeds have a way of catching up with people, good or bad. Remember that."

"I wasn't doing anything. Honest," Elizabeth swears. "I actually ran into Lainey Winters and chatted for a bit."

"Um hmm." Epiphany gives her one more warning glare before handing her a file. "This needs to get to OB/GYN. Guess you'll have another chance to stretch your legs."

Elizabeth takes it to the right department, stopping as she nears Dr. Lee's office and hears a familiar voice inside. She peaks around the corner to verify that it really is Sam.

"Thank you for taking a few minutes to speak with me today, Dr. Lee. I know me dropping in like this is unexpected. I won't keep you long," Sam says.

"Not a problem. I have a few minutes. What can I do for you?"

"Well, Jason and I will be wanting to start a family of our own soon," she explains. "I was just wondering what I could do, short of taking fertility drugs, to ensure my body is ready."

"What method of birth control are you currently using?" Dr. Lee asks, not having Sam's file handy to check for herself.

"Condoms. Along with the shot every four weeks. Dr. Meadows started me on it after my miscarriage since getting pregnant at that time would have been so dangerous for me."

"It is highly effective. But not full proof. So it's good you're backing it up with the condoms," Dr. Lee explains. "Because getting pregnant while on that shot would introduce an extremely high risk for birth defects. Since you're thinking of actively getting pregnant, I'd suggest you stop with the shot at least a month before."

"That's helpful," Sam nods. "So I'll let you know at my next appointment if I want another shot or not."

"Okay. I'll see you then," Dr. Lee says, just as her pager goes off. She looks down at it before apologizing to Sam. "I'm sorry, but I need to take this."

"No, go," Sam insists. "I'm just so grateful you were able to spare me these few minutes. I'll get out of your way."

Elizabeth panics for a second, fearing she's about to get caught. But she manages to duck out of the way in time before Sam walks out of the office. She stays out of sight until Dr. Lee emerges from the office as well.

With a concerned scowl, Elizabeth thinks over what she just heard. She realizes that she can't let Sam trap Jason with a baby. She can imagine that right now, the other woman would be desperate to get pregnant. All Elizabeth has to do is figure out a way to keep that from happening.

"Carol," she says to the Dr. Lee's secretary. "Could you do me a favor and look up my next check up. I thought it was today, but could be mistaken."

"Sure thing, Elizabeth," the secretary says with a smile.

Elizabeth casually leans over the desk to check out the computer screen as the woman scrolls through all the days, smiling to herself when she sees what she's really looking for.

"Right day, wrong week," the woman laughs. "You're appointment is next week this time."

"Silly me," Elizabeth says, laughing along with her. "Thanks again."

She walks off, the smile still on her face. Now that she knows when Sam's next appointment is, she only has to figure out what she's going to do next. Whatever it takes, she has to keep Sam from getting pregnant. Or else she could lose Jason for good.

To be continued . . .