An hour later, we were on our way. As I walked out of the West Gate, I looked around at our assembled team. They were told that I would explain the plan along the way.
The jonins were spread out along the team, to make sure we didn't get ambushed. There was Kankuro, the puppet master of Suna ; Temari, his sister, with her massive battle fan ; Kakashi, still without his mask, the infamous Copy Ninja ; Kurenai, the genjutsu master, flirting with Kakashi ; and...Gai, who was currently trying to 'encourage' the team with a pep talk about the wonders of the power of youth. I wanted to kick him in the head.
So did everyone else on the team, I guess. The chunins were getting the worst of the pep talk. Shikamaru, the genius, was ready to smash his face against a tree ; Kiba, with his nin-dog Akamaru, was just about to 'accidentally' throw a kunai into Gai's face ; Hinata, the quieter Hyuuga and Neji's cousin, was quietly dealing with the noise ; TenTen, the weapons expert, was rolling her eyes. Man, I felt sorry for her. Gai had been her sensei for a couple of years now. How the heck did she deal with him?!
We've been on his mission for about three minutes, and I'm already ready to kill him.
Ino was less understanding of Gai's talk than TenTen. She finally couldn't take it anymore. She took a deep breath. 'Gai-sensei...I mean no offense when I say this...but...SHUT THE HELL UP.'
'Ah! I see we have among us someone who does not understand the flowers of youth! You must breathe the beautiful air of happy youthfulness and swim al0ng the shores of the OCEAN OF SUCCESS!'
He pulled some 'Gai' pose. At that moment, I felt like I could hear the thoughts of every single person on the team. It went something like, Gayest man EVER.
On either side of me, Sakura and Neji rolled their eyes in unison. Sakura stopped walking for a moment and pointed to the sky. 'What's that?'
Everyone, even Gai, fell silent and looked up to where Sakura was pointing. There was a bird - a big bird - flying directly towards us, with a message in its mouth. Around it's left talon, was a metal band. With the sign of the Sound Village on it. I signaled for everyone else to step back while I moved forward to retrieve the message and make sure it wasn't a trap. I didn't feel any chakra coming off the bird, so I stepped forward just as it was landing on the path in front of us.
It dropped the message and flew off. Nice bird.
I hate birds...
I bent down and picked up the note, opening it carefully. The inside read as follows :
"This message is meant for only the eyes of Kikyo Zankichi and/or Sakura Haruno.
I don't have alot of time with this. You guys need to come now, as in, NOW.
Naruto doesn't have much time left. The only thing keeping him alive is the Kyuubi's chakra. I've been able to take care of him as best as I can, but he's slipping. I've earned the trust of Orochimaru, to an extent, but I think he's beginning to suspect that I've been keeping Naruto alive.
The moment you stop reading this, destroy it so that NO ONE else can read it. Sakura, I love you, no matter what, and I'm fine. Please, come as fast as possible. If you guys aren't here in three days, I'm going to put my own plan into action, with or without you.
- Sasuke -"
No. NO.
'Sakura!' I yelled. She immediately appeared at my side and read the note, her eyes growing wider.
'W-what do we do?! Sasuke can't handle them all on his own! And he's going to try and save Naruto while fighting his way out of there?! In three days?! We won't have time to get the Akatsuki backups and get to the Sound Village in three days!'
'I know, Sakura! Shut up and let me think for a second!'
I heard Shikamaru call out to us. 'Move!' he yelled, and then I heard the rustling in the bushes behind me and Sakura.
'Ugh, I knew we should've sent a note or something. Look, we scared them!'
Kisame?!
I spun around and saw them. Itachi, Kisame, Zetsu, and...Deidara?!
What are they thinking?! I specifically told them not to bring Deidara!
The anger returned. 'Itachi! What did I tell you before! I said not to bring Deidara. He is not to participate in this rescue!' I yelled to Itachi.
He looked at me straight in the eye, but I didn't break my glare, even though his look sent shivers throughout my whole body.
'Deidara is coming along as a backup soldier. He will not be sent into battle and/or rescue situations unless things take a grim turn. Then, he will only participate if he has my permission, and yours.'
I glared for a moment longer. 'Very well.'
Then I turned back to my own Konoha team. 'Line up and listen up!'
The dutifully made a straight line across the road. I stepped in front of them, motioning to the Akatsuki members in back of me. 'These are Akatsuki. You have been taught to hate them, to fight them, to kill them. But right now, I'm ordering you to fight alongside them. You could learn a thing or two from them, and they can learn from you. Help each other, because we need 100 cooperation for this mission to succeed. They're good people,' I said, but then I looked at Deidara and continued, 'most them, anyway.'
I introduced them. 'This is Itachi Uchiha. Most of you know his story. You will not, under penalty of severe punishment, judge him based on what you have heard. That would be like me saying Gai is a psycho because of the way he dresses.'
I was greeted my several muffled snickers. 'Ookay, bad comparison...Moving on!' I pointed to Kisame. 'This is Kisame. He is a fish. A fish with a very dangerous sword, let me remind you. So if you feel like making fun of him about being a fish, I would strongly act against that feeling.'
'That's Zets-'
Gai hopped forward and began waving his arms. 'T-the flower of youth! I have found it!'
He ran forward and hugged Zetsu.
'Dear God, Gai, no!' I yelled.
TenTen whispered, 'Why is that plant wearing a cloak?'
Zetsu sighed. 'I am not a plant, I am human!' The black side began to talk. 'Hey, you, kunoichi. Is this your sensei?' he asked TenTen. She nodded. 'Well, you have about ten seconds to get him away from me, or else he's not gonna have any arms.'
'I-uh-um, Gai-sensei! Look! A youthful, uh...rock! Yes! It's so gray with youth!' exclaimed TenTen, pointing at a random tree. Gai immediately unlatched himself from Zetsu and went to speak with the rock, which he excitedly named 'Rocky'.
This is retarded.
This is your life.
Good point.
'Okay!' I said. 'Take some time to get to know each other, and then we'll leave!'
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Ino stepped carefully over to Deidara, who was trying hard not to look interested. She stared at him for a couple of seconds. Then, as loudly as possible, she yelled, 'Sakura! Heeeey, Sakura! Looky here! This guy kinda looks like me!'
'What'd you say?' replied Sakura, who couldn't really hear Ino.
Ino sighed. 'I saaaaaid, this guy kinda looks like me!'
'What?'
'THIS GUY KINDA LOOKS LIKE ME!'
'I can't hear you, speak up!'
'THIS GUY LOOKS LIKE M-'
Deidara couldn't take it. 'SHUT UP, UN!'
'...NEVERMIND, SAKURA! I THINK I'M PRETTIER!'
Kiba walked over and examined Deidara. 'Hey Ino...I'm not even sure this is a guy...'
'I'm a guy, un!' replied Deidara.
'Really? I couldn't tell...'
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Meanwhile, Hinata was standing off in a corner, watching the scenes before her. Kisame walked over. 'Hey, why are you so quiet?'
'Oh, I, er, um, I d-don't really t-talk...'
'Why not?'
'Oh..um..Usually, I d-don't really have import-tant things to s-say..'
Kisame examined her for a second. 'Okay, sit down.'
Hinata sat down underneath a tree, and Kisame sat also. 'Now, put on your battle face.'
'M-my b-battle face?'
'Yeah! You know! Your GRR face! Your angry face!'
Hinata couldn't do anything but stare. Kisame sighed. 'Don't tell me you don't have a battle face! Okay, well look here. I'll teach you how to bring out your inner battle fiend! First we start with the facial expressions, then we'll move onto the attitude, got it?'
'Y-yes, Fishy-sensei...'
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All of the jonins were gathered around Zetsu. There was dead silence. Kurenai coughed. 'So...do you like...eat people?'
'Occasionally,' replied the white half of Zetsu.
'Would it hurt if I pulled a leaf out?' asked Kankuro, reaching out to touch one.
'Would it hurt if I pulled your hair out?' said the black half of Zetsu. 'Oi! Slappy the Clown! No touchy the leaves! Why don't you do us a favor and BUY A MIRROR, so you don't have to walk around looking like your purple mascara's running.'
Kankuro looked like he could cry. 'I think my face paint looks cool! Right, sis?!'
'Um, yeah...Sure, Kankuro,' muttered Temari, looking away and scratching her head.
'What do people taste like?' asked Kakashi. 'Are we like, crunchy or something?'
Everyone stared at him. I made a mental note. Note to self, stay away from Kakashi...may be a cannibal..
I always knew there was something wrong with him..
'Oh, no no! I'm just saying, in case we're in an emergency situation with no food, I wanna know what I can eat!'
Everyone inched away from him slowly.
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I called Shikamaru over to where I was sitting with Sakura, Neji, and Itachi. 'Hey, Shika-chan! Come here!'
He walked over and plopped himself down. 'You know I hate when you call me that..'
'I know! That's why I do it! Now, help us think up a rescue strategy. We can't just charge in.'
'Ugh, how troublesome...'
'Life's troublesome. Get over it.'
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After about an hour of planning, I stood up with a piece of paper in my hands. 'Okay! Everyone listen! I have the arranged teams here, and then I'll announce the plan!'
The teams were :
- Team One -
Kakashi
Shikamaru
Kisame
- Team Two -
Kurenai
Gai
Kiba
Hinata
- Team Three -
Temari
Kankuro
TenTen
Ino
Zetsu
'Team One! Your purpose is to take out the lesser ninjas. Shikamaru, I want you to figure out the best way to take them all out without using that much chakra. You will then instruct Kakashi and Kisame, who will eliminate the threat,' I said.
'Team Two! You will enter the base and find Sasuke and Naruto, no matter what. Hinata, first, you need to use your Byakugan to locate the positions of Sasuke and Naruto. Then while in the base, Kiba will use his sense of smell to navigate through the hallways and find them. You are to be alert at all times. Kurenai and Gai, I expect you to make sure no harm comes to Kiba or Hinata. They are vital if we are to pull off this rescue.'
'Team Three! Your purpose is simple. Take out as many Sound ninja as you possibly can. Make sure they don't get in the way. Everyone got it?'
All agreed.
'Remember, fear will slow you down, make you vulnerable. Hesitation could cost you your life. One instant could mean life or death. Watch out for each other, but don't do anything reckless. I don't want to have to carry a dead body back to Konoha. Now, are we ready?'
Ino raised her hand.
'What, Ino.'
'What about blondie? How come he's not on a team?'
I didn't know what to say. Itachi stepped forward and placed a hand on my shoulder. 'Deidara is a special circumstance. Nothing that you need to worry yourself about.'
'What's your team gonna do, Kikyo?'
'We're going straight for the bossman. Orochimaru himself,' I said. 'Now, are we ready? Let's go!'
I was pumped, ready to go!
Kakashi raised his hand.
'I'm hungry!'
