Espada Vacation

Chapter 9: An Elegant Dinner

Quick AN: I'ma go back to using the scene changes I used in the first chapter. I enjoyed writing those, I hope you don't mind!^^

~Ulquiorra's P.O.V.~

Later on in the day, we were allowed to go to our rooms. The room arrangements are as the following: Starrk and Lilynette are in one room. Barragan gets his own room next door. Harribel and I, along with Mai, share another room. Nnoitra, Tesla, and Grimmjow share the one across the narrow hall from us. Szayel Aporro and his brother Ilforte share the room on our other side. Zommari, Aaroniero, and Yammy all share the room down the hall that is next door to Grimmjow. Ichimaru and Tousen share another room, while Aizen-sama gets a room to himself. If I forgot anyone, that means they are trash, therefore do not deserve to be remembered.

"I can't believe we're finally here! That trip took forever!" sighed Mai as she sat herself on the bed. The rooms here were rather small, with only a small bathroom, a window, and a bed. Two bunk beds were to be pulled down from the wall later on while we are at dinner.

"I have to agree." Tia nodded as she sat beside the fraccion and looked up at the small TV in the corner of the room. The captain was telling us of a safety drill later on today, instructing us on where we would go in case of emergency. We watched shortly before the message replayed again. "I'm glad we finally get a bit of room though. Sharing with so many others is annoying."

I didn't say anything. I shared with Aizen-sama, so the only complaint I could give would be that he wouldn't stop complaining about various things.

Tia and Mai talked for a while longer before laying back for a nap. The Tercera told me to wake her up before the drill. While the two women slept, I sat on the window sill, watching the waves that calmly lapped at the ship. Earlier when we first arrived, I, along with most of the Espada, watched our ship leave port. The people on land waved at us, many of us waved at them, and even more waving when we passed by another ship.

"...will start at three o'clock. The alarm will sound, and you will go to your designated station in an orderly and calm fashion. If you do not know your station, crew members will be by the entrance to assist you."

The message continued on, making me wonder if our neighbors across the hall were listening to this. I listened for a moment and heard shouting from across the hall. I almost smirked. I can bet you my next paycheck that they weren't listening to this.

~S IS FOR...SZAYEL, BUT ALSO FOR SULKY, WHICH IS WHAT ULQUIORRA IS, WHICH IS WHO GRIMMJOW HATES! ALSO FOR SCENE CHANGE~

"Achoo!" I sneezed. I bet Mai was thinking about me.

"Ya lost," smirked Nnoitra as he whipped a pillow at Tesla. The pillow hit his fraccion in the face and send him tumbling to the ground with a cry. I glared at the Quinta. We were arguing over who slept on the floor and who slept on the bed when Tesla pointed out that there were two bunk beds. Then we argued about who got the bed and who got the bunk beds. Tesla obviously took one, but Nnoitra and I both wanted the bed. You're crazy as Aizen if you think we're gonna share. So we settled this in the most epic way we could think of.

That's right; staring contest!

"As if, Jiruga," I scowled and prepared for another round. "Two out of three!"

"Yer on, Grim!" We both sat down and stared. Then stared some more. I wondered if it was against the rules to wink. So I did.

"The hell? You lost!" Nnoitra jabbed his bony finger at my eye.

"Dude, you nearly poked me in the eye! And I did NOT lose! Rules say ya blink, ya lose! BLINK. As in TWO eyes." I pretended to think over what I just said. "Oh, wait TWO, eyes, meaning one CAN'T be nonexistent. Meaning you don't qualify for staring contests meaning you lose meaning I get the bed! HA!" Score one for the Sexta!

"Yer as stupider as ever," he retorted. "Not sure if ya notice, but we're all wearin' a Gigai. It's why we all got on this ship in the first place, Grim. AND why I got two eyes!" He lifted his eye patch to show that he really did have two eyes, not just an eye and a hole in his head. "An' winkin's just blinkin' with one eye, cheater!" He yelled. God, he's such an idiot.

"Who says?" I asked smugly.

"I do!"

"Who says you're allowed to say?" He can't win this argument.

"Aizen!" Now he looked smug.

"We all know he's crazy."

"We all know he's the one that put ME as QUINTA, and YOU, as SEXTA. Which means I got the higher rank, which means what I say, goes, meanin' what you say, compared to me, is always wrong," he explained. I swear, if beating that smirk off his face wouldn't sink this ship, then I would've done it.

"Well! ...Uh...Aizen's still crazy." Really? Best comeback you can think of? Stupid, Grimmjow!

"I agree on that, but the man knows who's best 'round here!" He smirked again.

"Yeah, Starrk. Well, technically Yammy, but no one gives a crap about him." I smirked.

"Well, like ya said he's crazy. I should be number one."

"Yeah, but instead, you're number two, if ya know what I mean." I laughed; spoon's just talking himself into this.

Before Nnoitra could come up with a comeback (that we all know would be super lame), a beepy alarm sound went off. "Nnoitra-sama!" Tesla jumped up and ran to the door and flung it open. "Come quickly!"

"THE SHIP'S SINKING!" We both bolted for the door, not even bothering to say jinx. "RUN FASTER DAMMIT!" yelled Nnoit' as we ran down the narrow hallway. I was just waiting for the water to start flooding in like the Titanic. Around us, people were calmly walking here and there. How could they be so calm in an emergency situation?

"You're in front of me, shithead!" I yelled as we ran out onto the deck. On the way, we passed Ulquiorra and his roomies. Lucky bastard got to share with Harribel and Mai. "Hurry, the ship's sinking!"

"Wait, Grimmjow-!" Mai didn't finish before I flung her over my shoulder and bolted. "GRIMMJOW!"

~OH, 'F' IS FOR FAIL WHICH GRIMMJOW IS DOING, 'U' IS FOR ULQUI'S POV*! 'N' IS FOR NNOIT AND GRIMMY'S FAIL, OUT HERE IN THE DEEP BLUE SEA!~

"She's going to murder him," Tia said as we watched the Sexta and Quinta bolt off. Tesla ran after them, calling out "Nnoitra-sama, Nnoitra-sama!"

We watched them for a moment longer before heading to our station. When we got there, we heard a splash as the person in charge of our section explained what we would do if it were a real emergency situation.

"What on Earth was that?" asked the guide. He peered over the railing and narrowed his eyes. The rest of us looked down and saw Grimmjow and Nnoitra sprawled out on the desk below us. It jutted out beneath our deck, so if someone for some asinine reason decided to jump from this deck, they wouldn't land in the ocean; they would land on the deck below us.

"...Should we have tried to stop them?" asked Tia, seeming only the slightest bit concerned for the well-being of the two. Over on the other side of our deck, Tesla and Mai peered down at them, shouting.

"No, we are on vacation, as Aizen-sama said. His exact words were that we 'enjoy our time off from our duties, learn to trust one another, and be thankful to daddy,'" I said, Tia joining me for the second half. She smiled behind her scarf.

"Jinx."

"Don't," I said. I refused to do something that Grimmjow and Nnoitra did to look stupid.

Tia simply laughed.

When the crew members were done explaining, they dismissed us. We walked across the desk to where the two fraccion were standing. They were watching crew members help the two idiots. "They didn't know it was a drill, did they?" asked Tia when we stopped beside them.

"N-no," Tesla looked sheepish. "I may have startled Nnoitra-sama with my tone of voice when they alarm went off..."

"I bet if you said that to him, he'd beat your ass back to Hueco Mundo," said Ilforte as he approached us with his brother. The blond laughed as he ruffled the shorter man's hair. "What happened bro?"

"Grimmjow and Nnoitra didn't listen to the message that was playing, so they didn't realize it was a drill. They thought the ship was really sinking, so they bolted," explained Tia.

"And grabbed me during the process," frowned Mai.

"They even pulled on life vests. At least that cushioned their fall...a bit," said Tesla sheepishly. He turned to Mai, "It was lucky that you managed to flip over Grimmjow-san's shoulder, or else you would've ended up down there with them." He laughed nervously when she shot him a look.

"Those imbeciles; I'm surprised they managed to make a fool of themselves when our first day on this ship barely even started!" sighed Szayel as he flipped his hair. "I do hope we don't have to sit with them at dinner this evening."

Ilforte laughed. "Bro, they're not the only ones that made a fool of themselves," he snickered when his pink haired brother got flustered.

"I did not make a fool of myself!" the Octava exclaimed hotly.

"Because I get your paycheck next month, I'll let you say whatever you want." Ilforte smirked, causing his brother to rage even more.

"I HATE YOU!" he screeched in reply.

"Feeling's mutual, bro.

Tia watched this go back and forth for a bit before closing her eyes. After another moment, she said, "Would you like to go and look around, Ulquiorra?" I nodded and we walked off, leaving the Granz brothers to argue and Tesla and Mai to watch the two idiots that 'jumped off the ship'.

~S TO THE C TO THE E TO THE N TO THE E TO THE CHANGE!~

On our way to the bow of the ship, we ran into Lilynette. Surprisingly, Starrk wasn't with her. She was headed the same way Tia and I were, so the little Primera joined us.

"Where's Starrk?" Tia asked as we crossed the track. There were a few others at this part of the ship, looking over the ocean and running around the before mentioned track. "I thought he would be up since dinner is in a bit."

"Nah, Starrk's still snoring away." The blonde looked a bit disappointed over this. "I was bored, so I just left and explored the ship. Did you know that they have about a jillion stores? Most of 'em are closed right now, but all the stuff in the windows looked awesome!" She grinned shortly before continuing to walk in silence. "So what've you guys been doing?"

Tia glanced at me with a small smile. "We've been watching Nnoitra and Grimmjow fail." The Tercera went on to explain the events of the past hour or so.

"I thought I heard Spoony scream," she laughed as I looked over the ocean. The sun was still up, but had just started to set, slowly moving over the horizon. Lilynette and Tia continued to chat for a while longer as I looked around the area. When it started to get too windy, we headed in for dinner, meeting up with Starrk on the way there.

"Baka-Starrk! You should've been up an hour ago! You look like a mess! This is a fancy dinner!" scolded the shorter as she reached up and slapped the Primera across the face. He scowled shortly before trudging forward to the elegant and massive dining room. "You missed the drill! Spoon-san and Blue-san jumped off the ship!" she continued chattering on to her half-listening half-yawning counterpart.

We quieted as we entered through the doors. A waiter took our names and led us to a table. There were about six sections in our part of the dining room. The massive room itself was divided into about four parts, three if you don't count ours since it was separated only by a short wall. The other two were on a lower level then us, separated by a higher wall. The people there sat near the window, getting an up close ocean view.

Already seated there at our table were Barragan, Aizen-sama, Ichimaru, and Tousen. At another table across our section was Nnoitra, Tesla, Grimmjow, Mai, Zommari, Szayel Aporro, Ilforte, Aaroniero, and Yammy.

"Welcome, my dear Espada!" crowed Aizen-sama. We all sat down as a menu was placed in front of us. "I do hope you've enjoyed your stay so far." No one really responded because he kept going without pausing. "After dinner, you will have the rest of the night off, but tomorrow afternoon, when the pool is filled and ready, I would like everyone to meet there so we can have some more fun!"

"My name is Phillip. I will be your server while you are on this voyage with us! May I take your orders?" chirped the waiter. He was a friendly looking man, probably in his mid-thirties with a slight accent; he was probably from the Philippines.

"Of course!" Aizen-sama then had us all order after talking to the waiter for a while. As we were waiting for the door, Aizen-sama talked to Ichimaru and Tousen. Lilynette chattered on to Starrk, who just nodded and gave a short reply every once in a while. Barragan sat there with his arms crossed, muttering to himself as he people-watched. Tia and I sat silently.

Of course, the peace didn't last long, because from across the room, we heard Szayel Aporro yell, "YOU FREAK!" We looked over to see the Granz brothers arguing loudly.

"You'd like that!" yelled Ilforte. I didn't turn around, but I could tell that he was smirking. "You just wanted to get into her pants!"

"NO, YOU did!" They're nonsensical arguing continued. Tia sat there with her eyes closed, probably willing the embarrassing brothers to shut up. "God, you're just jealous because I'm perfect!"

"If you're what perfect is, then I hope I'm the most un-perfect person in the world!" the blond yelled.

"Bitch!"

"Is what you are!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Make me!" People were starting to stare.

"I'm a higher rank!"

"I'm older!" Ilforte sat back with a triumphant grin when the Octava couldn't come up with a reply. "Who's perfect now, Szay?" He sighed dramatically, "Besides, you can't possibly be perfect. Everyone knows that my hair is freakin' awesome."

"As if," scoffed Szayel as he flipped his own pink hair. "Your hair is much too feminine with it's length."

"Says the one with PINK hair, bro."

This started another fight. As they went back and forth, insulting each other with so many terms that just sound random to me, the waiter came back with our food.

"Let us enjoy this fine feast on our first night on this ship!" Aizen-sama said as he lifted his glass. We all lifted ours in a dull agreement. When our leader sat back down, I saw him throw a roll at Szayel Aporro, hitting his head and causing the Octava's glasses to fall into his soup. I assumed that Aizan-sama was trying to be discreet, but he sort of failed.

"ILFORTE, you son of a bitch!" screeched the younger Granz. He slapped his brother then proceeded to grope around the table to try to get his glasses back. "You are such an IDIOT! No wonder you don't have a girlfriend," he scowled as he wiped the soup off his glasses before putting them back on.

"Like you do?"

"In a matter of fact, I do," the pink haired Espada looked triumphant that his brother lost this round.

"Your fraccion don't count."

"Shut up."

"Liar."

"Bitch."

"Pansy."

"Sissy."

"You're just jealous of my hair."

This, of course, brought on another fight. Our table ate in silence. Eventually, as we were finishing up the main course, two stormed over here and confronted Tia.

"HARRIBEL." The two shouted, but backed down when the Tercera gave them an icy look. "Who's hotter between the two of us?" asked Grimmjow's fraccion as he smirked at his brother.

"What a crude way to put it. Tia-"

"I never gave you permission to call me by my first name," she cut in as she finished her meal. The pink haired man looked a bit embarrassed, but he quickly shook it off.

"...Harribel...what my stupid bullshit of a brother meant to say was, who, between the two of us, would you rather go out with if the world depended on it." Szayel pushed his glasses up, flipping off his brother as he did so. I sat there and watched them out of the corner of my eye as I drank my water. Those two were idiots. If we weren't in gigai right now, I'm sure Tia would've cero'ed them already.

"Why would the world depend on something as stupid at that?" she asked with a glare at the two.

"...Just a what if, Harribel. You see, I had to dumb it down for my brother here, who isn't as refined at the two of us." He nudged the blonde lightly.

"I would rather have the world end then go out with either of you," she replied after a moment of so-called thought.

The two stared down at her for a shocked moment. Then they stared at each other in bewilderment. Ilforte eventually just crossed his arms and pffted. Szayel put a hand on his hip and said, "What ever happened to sacrafice, Harribel?" He rolled his eyes, probably preparing to give a speech.

Tia stood up. She may have been shorter then the Octava, but her aura (and her boots) made her seem taller then Szayel. He seemed composed, but I could see that he was intimidated by the Tercera. "Don't you dare try to tell me about sacrifice. I've made sacrifices that you will never understand." She glared at the pink haired man. I sat there and watched curiously. Aizen-sama seemed to be ignoring them, even though Tousen looks like he is trying to bring up the 'unjustly argument going on behind you'.

"Oh, really now?" Szayel pushed his glasses up, seemingly unfazed to the untrained eye. "Like what?" I'm sure he was thinking that he would understand, since he DID see himself as the perfect being.

The Tercera narrowed her eyes. "You're about to become one right now if you don't shut up and go back to your table."

Stupidly, the Octava just crossed his arms and smirked. "I don't believe you."

~CAMBIOS EN LA ESCENA~

"Ulquiorra, while you were in the bathroom, I have ordered your dessert for you," Aizen-sama gestured at the chocolate in front of me. There was vanilla ice cream on the side. Apparently, the chocolate was a brownie with melted fudge on the inside. I don't know why Aizen-sama would think that I would want this, but I thought I might as well try it.

"What took you so long?" asked Lilynette as she reached over Starrk's plate to grab a piece of chocolate from mine. I let her take the chocolate without complaint.

"Tia asked if I could...stand guard," I replied as I scooped up a small spoonful of the dessert. Surprisingly, it tasted good.

"What'd she do?" asked Starrk with a lazy glance. He seemed amused when the Tercera grabbed Szayel by the collar and dragged him out. I shrugged. I honestly didn't know. Tia simply gestured that I should follow. When I caught up to her outside, we went up to the main desk, where she told me to stand guard. The blonde instructed that when I returned, I would tell Aizen-sama I was in the bathroom. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to tell the others the same thing, but I knew Starrk wouldn't do anything to get the Tercera in trouble.

As we all ate our desserts, the man who was in charge of this dining room (there were a couple on the ship) told us a bit about the waiters. Apparently, they all came from around the world and were going to perform for us every night during our voyage during dessert.

"Hey," Tia returned to her seat, her hair dripping a bit of water onto her clothes and seat. "Did I miss anything?" I shook my head.

"...Why are you wet?" Starrk asked with an amused smile.

She didn't have time to respond, because the waiters were filing into the spaces between the tables and started dancing to some trashy American song that had come on. Grimmjow and Nnoitra must have known the song, because they, along with a few others from our section, had gotten up and started dancing with the waiters.

Shawty had them Apple Bottom Jeans (Jeans)

Boots with the fur (With the fur)

The whole club was lookin' at her

She hit the flo' (She hit the flo')

Next thing you know

Shawty got low low low low low low low low...

"YEAH!" The Sexta and Quinta continued dancing as Lilynette laughed at them. It was a rather amusing sight. A few members of the Espada had pulled out their phones and cameras to record the event.

"Get up and dance!" Aizen-sama yelled over the music. Gin had already gotten up and done so, clearly enjoying himself as he embarrassed all of us. Tousen stayed seated. Lilynette had dragged Starrk out onto the floor and they were currently 'dancing', if you could call Lilynette dragging her counterpart around dancing. Barragan, Tia and I stayed seated. I didn't even bother to looked at the embarrassment that was Nnoitra Jiruga and Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez. While we finished up our desserts, the song finished, and everyone seated themselves. Phillip came by once again to check up on everyone and gather our plates before we left.

There were still a few rays of light left when we reached the main deck. Tia said she would be off with Starrk and Lilynette for the rest of the night, so that left me alone...until Grimmjow and his roommates, along with Mai, trotted up to me.

"Sup, emospada?" greeted Nnoitra as I continued walking. They followed, probably bored or wanting to bother someone. When I didn't respond, the spoon-hooded Espada

poked my cheek. "Cat got your tongue?" he asked lewdly. He cackled when Grimmjow whacked his head and yelled at him for making it sound wrong.

"Oi, Ulquiorra!" I ducked as Grimmjow threw a punch aimed at my head. He's done this many times before and you eventually get used to it and duck before it touches you.

"We all know that won't work, Grimmjow," I sighed in annoyance as I stopped by the ship's railing. Dark waves fell against the ship as we cut through the water. "What are you trash doing here anyways?"

I leaned to the side as Nnoitra's fist flew past where my head would've been. Grimmjow's stupid game of head tag was extremely irritating, but so far, even though I wasn't doing this willingly, I was winning.

"How the hell do you do that?" he asked as he tried again. I sighed as I ducked and walked to the other side of the area.

"Will you trash please stop that?" I asked as Tesla and Mai perched themselves on the railing.

"Why should we?" asked Grimmjow as he swung another punch, and missed. "OW!" Grimmjow glared when my fist connected with his forehead. "Son of a bitch!"

"Ha! Ya lost to Emospada again!" cackled Nnoitra as he swung his own punch at the Sexta. Grimmjow successfully dodged this time. The two started going at it again. Both of them would get a hit now and then and cheer, then they would curse when they missed or got hit.

Ignoring the trash, I walked along the railing until I got to where Tesla and Mai were sitting. "Are you ready to go back?" I asked my fraccion as Tesla hopped down from his seat. She nodded.

"Yeah, let me just get Grimmjow first." She smiled as the jumped down. I don't know why she wouldn't want to leave them here all night, but I waited as she called him. "Oi, Grimmjow, it's getting late. Let's go."

No response. The Sexta continued his stupid game with the Quinta. The two were getting rather noisy with their shouts and cursing.

Mai growled as she walked over to them. "Oi, it's getting late, let's go!" She punched them both in the back of the head, bringing them down to her height level. The two stood there, dumbfounded for a second as they just realized that a girl had beaten them both. "Are you just going to stand there and freeze tonight, or are you going to go inside, shut up, and go to bed?"

Again, no response. I don't know when she started speaking like that to people above her, but I let it slide, considering it was Nnoitra and Grimmjow.

A swinging punch from Grimmjow. Mai dodged, only to get slapped by Nnoitra. Another dodge, a punch, a miss, and before I knew it, it turned into a three person fight.

"You son of a bitch!" Grimmjow swore as Nnoitra tackled him onto the deck and proceeded to knee him in his privates.

"Grimmjow, get your bitch to get off of me!" Nnoitra yelled as Mai jumped him and elbowed him in the neck, creating a screaming and violent pile.

"ARRG! I swear-!" Mai was cut off as she was flipped and the pile turned into a rolling ball of combat.

"..." I stood there silently and watched them fight. From the looks of it, Nnoitra was beating the other two quite severely and was cackling madly when he pinned the two blue haired Arrancar to the railing of the ship.

"...Should we do something about this?" asked a visibly shaken Tesla as he took a step forward.

I sighed. "Do what you wish. I won't get involved in such trashy affairs." With that, I walked off toward my room. As I was passing the ping-pong table on the other side of the ship, I heard a moaning sound coming from over the railing. Out of curiosity, I walked over to it and looked down to see none other then the Octava himself.

"..." I ripped the duck tape off his month, to which he emitted a yelping sound. "Szayel Aporro? What are you doing there?"

"I don't want to talk about it," he moaned as he looked down. He paled when he saw that he was duck taped to the side of the ship.

"..." I assumed that I was supposed to help him. So I started to rip off pieces of duck tape, each piece being torn off making the Octava yelp as he was let loose. Before I ripped the last piece off, I reached down at let him grab onto my arm. He pulled it off himself before being lifted up over the railing. I tossed him to the floor when his grip started becoming irritating and a bit awkward. "Why is your clothing torn up?" I asked when the Octava rolled over with a groan. His glasses must have fallen off into the ocean, because they were missing. On his forehead, written in black sharpie, were the words "#1 Idiot". I decided not to point this out to him.

"Shit..." I heard him mutter under his breath. He sighed as he sat up. "Don't...ever...piss Harribel off."

I stayed quiet. I already knew that.

"Er...Ulquiorra, would you mind..." He trailed off when I looked down at him. "...helping me back to my room? I can't see anything without my gasses on."

Automatically, I wanted to say no, but I had something better in mind. Instead, I led him back to where I was a few minutes ago. I found the trio still fighting, but now Tesla was wailing and asking them to stop. Mai had started to give up and was now slumped again at the wall, panting as she caught her breath.

"Help Szayel Aporro back to his room," I simply instructed before walking off.

"WHAT?" The Octava screeched as Nnoitra and Grimmjow turned to him. Mai got up and trotted over to my side.

"...What happened?" she asked.

I looked over to my blue haired fraccion and explained. "I found Szayel Aporro duck taped to the side of the ship." Mai let out a laugh at this. "He requested that I helped him back to his room, but I knew that that would be very troublesome, so I decided to give him to the pile of trash over there." Mai raised an eyebrow at me. "I figured that if they were all going to act like idiots, then they would all have consequences. Nnoitra and Grimmjow would have to deal with Szayel's whining, and Szayel will have to deal with the other two's violence."

"Is that really the reason you did that? To punish them?" she asked as we descended the stairs to our room. I almost smirked.

"Yes...and a bit for my own amusement." We walked in silence for a few moments before Mai spoke up again.

"Ulquiorra-sama?"

"Yes?"

She gave a smile, "You're such a troll."

END CHAPTER

* Pronounce it as an actual word. Not P-O-V, but literally "pov" XD.

WHAAAT? She's actually UPDATING? Be still my pounding heart!

Yes, it's true, I've actually decided to sit down and think. Oh, the whole head-tag-punch thing near the end is random. I started writing, didn't know where the fudge I was going with it, and that's how it turned out. I hope you enjoy that bit of randomness.

The song at dinner with the waiters really did happen. It. Was. Awesome.

Long chapter is long.

You should review.

Why?

Because...it's my birthday =D Yes, I really would play that card. But, hey, it really, really is my birthday. My parents put a bow on a sandwich in the fridge for me this morning XD Happy 15th to me~

~Amaterasu Ai