Disclaimer:

I Do Not Own Twilight

Chapter 9

Sex Is A Powerful Drug

They kissed and soon it became more.

Jasper pinched Bella's breast and she straddled his waist and their kisses became more urgent. More lust filled.

He ripped her clothes off and she did the same to him. He pushed two fingers inside her and roughly finger fucked her and she moaned and spread her legs wider. It was driving her insane, his teasing. She wanted- Needed- more.

" Jasper. Please''. And all hell broke loose.

He was on top of her and had her on all fours. He pushed into her and didn't give her time to adjust to his size. He pounded into her harder and faster until he exploded, filling her with his seed.

They collapsed beside each other but didn't hold each other. They didn't say a word or cuddle. They just laid there. Both of them knew this was wrong and disgusting. But they couldn't give one fuck.

And it went on like this. They had sex. Remained quiet. And went about their daily lives making polite conversation with everyone. But there was a rule. Tell no one.

But sometimes people are just so quick to finding things out. Those "People'' were Rosalie.

" Bella?'', Rosalie asked. She was worried about her friend. Something was off. She was quiet, distant. Always lost in her own little world. " Bella?''.

She was sitting on the couch in the living room clad in a silk blue robe. Her brown hair was in a tight bun. Her eyes were now a golden color and they looked straight ahead into an invisible abyss. She looked as if she could take off and float away at any minute.

" Yes, Rosalie?''. She turned around and looked at Rosalie, eyes droopy and low, looking far way in the distance. It hadn't occurred to Rosalie that maybe now wasn't the best time to talk with Bella.

" Are'', Rosalie swallowed. " Are you okay?''. It took Bella a moment before she responded with a bright smile. A too bright smile.

" Of course I'm okay'', she said. " I feel peachy!''. She beamed. Rosalie smiled and let out a sigh of relief at the revelation that Bella hadn't spiraled into depression again.

" Ah. Well, that's great to hear''. Rosalie looked at Bella and smiled kindly. " I'll see you around, Bella''. She waved goodbye and soon disappeared upstairs and to her room. When she was out of earshot, Bella released the chocked sob that had been trapped in her throat. She felt sick. Woozy. It didn't feel right. Doing the things she was dong with Jasper. Having sex with him to deal with her problems. But as sick as it made her. As disgusted with herself as she was, she still did it. Not out of selfishness or to be manipulative, but to help heal her wounds. Ease her pain. Make her feel...Good.

But do I love Jasper?

This question had swirled in her head for a long time. The tension between them had not left, but had eased up a slight bit. There was still that occasional feeling of guilt and pain, yet the amazing feeling of pleasure and love.

Love. That's all she wanted.

To be loved.

And since she was gonna probably kill herself later on, why not give that a shot. The only problem was that she didn't know if she could love. The thing she had with Jasper wasn't love. She knew that much. It was only a drug. A powerful drug that would help her get through the day without breaking down. Without the pain. Without the weight of the world on her shoulders. And she was 100% positive he knew that, too.

But it's still there. The feeling...

The feeling... of what? She didn't have one idea what that feeling was. Love was a possible answer...

No. It is not love. Just sex and pleasure

Just sex and pleasure.

Just sex and pleasure.

And she repeated it in her head for the rest of the day. Up until nighttime when she walked into Jasper's room. He was there, standing on a wall.

" We need to talk''. Her voice was dead. Like her mind. Like her body. Dead.

" Bout what?'', he asked. He didn't sound like he cared. This confirmed it. He was just as broken as her. Just as hurt as her. Just as dead as her.

" You know what''. She just stared at him with her honey eyes and he just stared back at her.

" No'', he said, taking a step toward her. " I don't''. For some reason, they just stared at each other and didn't move one inch. Not one. Then, the unexpected happened.

Bella's fist collided with Jasper's jaw and he flung into a nearby wall.

" What the fuck was that for''. He brought his hand up to his cracked face.

" You know what that was for!'', she yelled. '' For having sex with me to ease your problems''. She knew she was doing that same thing to. Using sex to solve her problems, but she needed someone to feel guilty. Someone to take the blame. Jasper was the perfect one.

" Oh please'', he bitterly laughed. " Don't act like your all sweet and innocent''. She just stood there, her hands in fist/

" Well... Well...'', she didn't have an excuse. She wasn't innocent. Not since that first night with Jasper.

" Fuck you!'', she spat.

" You already are'', he retorted.

" Shut up!'', she said back.

" Make me!'', he replied.

The both yelled and argued, not caring who heard. They just needed to let out their anger. Finally, the breaking point for both of them was reached.

" You- you know what?'', yelled Bella. " I hate you!''. This stabbed Jasper and he felt a pang of hurt, but he didn't let it show.

" I hate you, too!'', he said back. This hurt Bella, too. But they didn't stop arguing. On and on into the night screaming each others heads off.

During it all one person heard them.

That person was Rosalie Hale.