Disclaimer: Don't make me cry again. I'm ugly when I cry.


Chapter Nine

Kakashi finally showed up ten minutes to ten in a poof of smoke. He raised his hand and smiled.

"Yo!"

"YOU'RE LATE!"

The shout came from three different mouths. Both girls had their hands on their hips and Naruto shook an angry fist at the jounin. Sasuke simply stood with his hands in his pockets and glared at Kakashi.

"I'm sorry," he apologized with absolutely no sincerity in his tone. "A black cat crossed my path and—"

Three voices once more cut through the air.

"LIAR!"

Kakashi grinned and placed an alarm clock on top of the middle post. He pressed the timer and turned to his team.

"The alarm's set for noon," he told them. He then held up two bells. "You're mission objective is for each of you to retrieve a bell from me before the timer goes off. You can eat the lunches I brought when you get a bell. If the alarm rings and you haven't gotten one from me, then I'll tie you to these posts and eat lunch right in front of you."

That's why he didn't want us to eat, Sasuke realized.

The four genin exchanged looks and Sakura spoke up. "But there are four of us and only two bells," she pointed out.

Kakashi explained, "At least two of you will definitely be tied to the posts by noon. The two who manage to retrieve a bell are going to have to agree on which of the other two will pass this test."

"What?" Naruto sputtered.

"I was against the idea of a four-man genin team in the first place," Kakashi said, uninterested in their confusion. "This way, if by some miracle, you guys pass, I have a regular three-man team."

"That's not fair!" Warai shouted.

"Welcome to life, Warai," Kakashi said.

"Well I'm definitely going to get a bell!" Naruto boasted.

One lazy dark eye pinned the blonde under its gaze. "It's usually the ones with the least talent that are the loudest," he commented. "So let's ignore the loser and get on with it."

Naruto stilled as he heard the word 'loser' echo through his head. The rational part of him knew that the man was only trying to bait him. The emotional part conceded that Kakashi did a damn good job of goading him. A war cry erupted from the boy's mouth as he took a kunai out of his weapons pouch. He fully intended to get both bells now and give one to Warai.

The other three genin stilled as a gust of wind flew between them and goggled as Kakashi appeared behind Naruto. His arm was twisted behind him and the tip of his kunai pointed at the back of the boy's skull.

"I didn't say go yet," Kakashi admonished in a silky voice. "But at least now you're ready to come after me with the intent to kill." He released Naruto and the blonde stumbled forward. "That's the only way that you're going to get these bells. Come at me as if your life depended on it. Use whatever weapons you brought; whatever talents you have."

"Now START!"

The four genin disappeared as they scattered around the surrounding forest. Each found a hiding place and began formulating their plans.


Sakura was hiding in the underbrush near the edge of the field when a hand grabbed her ankle and started dragging her deeper into the forest. At first she fought, but then she recognized Warai's chakra and calmed down. She tapped the girl on the shoulder and sat up.

"You didn't have to drag me, you know," she complained, brushing leaves out of her hair.

"Sorry," Warai said. "What do you think of this test? Honestly?"

"I think that it's unfair and pits us against each other," Sakura answered automatically.

"It's cruel, too," Warai added. "This test is designed to make us fight against each other like dogs over a bone. I would expect this kind of thing in Mist, but not here."

Sakura stared at the girl. This was the second time the girl alluded to the other ninja village today. The first being the ring she saw with the symbol for the Hidden Village of Mist on it.

"Why didn't you expect this kind of test here?" she asked.

"Because Konoha's friendlier for one," Warai explained. "In Mist it's basically every shinobi for him or herself. Here it's all about teamwork. I don't understand why—"

"That's it! This isn't a test of our survival or ninja skills!" Sakura hissed. "It's a test of our ability to work together as a team!"

"Sakura, your forehead might be huge, but behind it is the brain of an analytical genius!" Warai motioned for the other girl to follow her back to the edge of the forest. When she didn't immediately follow, Warai turned around. Sakura was an interesting shade of green. "What's the matter?"

"I didn't eat breakfast," she snapped. "Or dinner last night."

"I understand the breakfast—we were ordered not to eat—but why did you skip dinner?"

"Diet."

Warai looked the girl over and frowned. "You don't need to diet."

Sakura smiled. "Why thank you!"

"You just need to tone that flab of yours," the blonde girl qualified. "Guys totally love a nice flat stomach."

"My stomach is flat!"

"Not as flat as mine."

"Shut up!" Sakura breathed in and let out her anger. She'll deal with the girl's insults later. "We need to work together remember?"

"Here," Warai tossed her a small bag. "Those are soldier pills. It won't satisfy your hunger, but it'll give you enough energy for jutsus. Leave the hand-to-hand stuff to me. Frankly, your taijutsu sucks. But don't worry, Naruto and I will help you with that."

Warai had a knack for insulting Sakura while encouraging her to do better. She sighed and took the pill. Sakura was impressed by Warai's foresight. She sure as hell didn't think of bringing soldier pills. Warai nodded and together they made their way to the edge of the field.

"We have to find Naruto and Sasuke and tell them that we should work together."

"Easier said than done," Sakura muttered. She pointed into the clearing and both girls watched as Kakashi gave Naruto what looked like a very painful blow to the ass.

Warai slapped her palm onto her face and sighed. "He's impulsive and not a little stupid," she said. "He'll probably try to get both bells for me. What about Sasuke?"

"He thinks we'll slow him down and get in his way," Sakura said. She noticed Warai's surprised look and laughed. "Just because I like him doesn't mean I'm completely clueless about what he thinks of me."

"Then why try?"

"Men change their minds if a woman is persistent enough."

"Right."

"Are we going to come up with a plan that includes the boys or are you going to make fun of me?"

"Can't I do both?" Warai grinned at her newest friend and then sobered when she saw seven Naruto's beat each other up in the field. "He's not in the mood to listen to me right now."

"And we know that Sasuke won't listen to us before time's up," Sakura sighed.

"Do you remember Kurenai-sensei's lectures and lessons in genjutsu?"

"Yes, I got better marks than you in that course."

"Okay," she whispered. "This is what we're going to do."


Kakashi grinned up at the irate blonde hanging upside-down from the tree in front of him.

"Don't fall for such an obvious trap," he said. "A ninja must look beneath the underneath."

Naruto was everything the jounin expected. He was brash and impulsive with the strength of a barroom brawler. He was slightly surprised that the brat managed to pull out seven kage bushins (Shadow Clones). He was even more surprised when the prankster managed to trap him for a while.

Kakashi knew from personal experience that shinobi who were former pranksters more often than not created the most original and effective traps. If Naruto ever managed to curb his impulsiveness, he had no doubt the blonde would become a great ninja.

He sensed that the girls were watching the display, but for some reason he couldn't exactly pinpoint their whereabouts. He'd have to congratulate Kurenai for training first-rate kunoichi this year. Especially since she only took over the teaching position two years ago.

Uchiha Sasuke was behind him and to the left. The waves of eagerness Kakashi felt were subtle enough, but still strong enough to give his position away.

Maybe the Uchiha should have taken the extra kunoichi class along with Warai and Sakura, he mused.

The jounin purposely shifted his weight to his left leg and waited for the Academy's number one rookie to take the opening he gave him.

Sasuke didn't disappoint.

Kakashi used Kawarimi no Jutsu (Replacement Technique) a split second before half a dozen shuriken hit him. He took a page from Naruto's book and created a shadow clone to mess with Sasuke for a while and went in search of the girls.

He found Sakura in a small clearing near the field. The girl was shouting for Sasuke in that annoying voice of hers. He ran through a series of seals and created a genjutsu that would immobilize the girl for a good while.

Warai watched from her hiding spot as Sakura froze in place and her eyes became glassy. She didn't know what the other girl saw, but Sakura's already pale face became even whiter and she gasped out Sasuke's name. Then she let loose a blood curdling scream and fainted.

Kakashi looked down impassively at the girl and shrugged. He honestly didn't think that the illusion he made of Sasuke impaled by a dozen kunai was that bad.

"Did I overdo it?" he wondered. He shook his head and went back to the field. Sasuke was waiting for him and Naruto must've sprung his fifth trap by now.

Sakura waited until she felt the silver-haired man's presence leave before sitting up. She turned to where Warai was hiding and frowned.

"How'd you know that he'd use genjutsu on me and not you?" she asked.

"I've known Kakashi-sensei for years," she explained. "He would have fought me, but left you relatively unharmed. Now what level is he?"

The girl pursed her lips and thought about it. "He's about as good as Hinata at genjutsu," she decided. "But nowhere near Kurenai-sensei's level. I think I can fool him for about 90 seconds."

Warai nodded. She turned toward the renewed sounds of fighting. "That's all the time we need," she said. They ran towards the field and split up just before the tree line stopped. Each girl watched Sasuke fight their teacher and waited for the inevitable outcome.

Sasuke aimed a kick to Kakashi's head and felt the jounin grab his ankle. The boy then brought his right fist up for a punch and the man caught that as well. Sasuke used the momentum he had to turn his body upside-down and tried another kick with his free leg. That strike was blocked by Kakashi's forearm and the movement made the man's torso vulnerable.

The Copy Nin's eye widened as Sasuke reached out and managed to barely touch one of the bells before he jumped back. He sighed and placed his book back into his weapons pouch. The genin was going through a few hand seals and Kakashi knew that this was the ninjutsu portion of his day.

"Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!" (Fire Release: Grand Fireball Technique)

Kakashi jumped out of the way as fire erupted from the twelve-year-old's mouth. A feeling almost like glee spread through his system. The silver-haired jounin went through a few seals of his own and smirked. The boys on this team knew some powerful jutsus for children their age. It almost made him regret having to fail them.

Sasuke frowned when he saw that Kakashi dodged his jutsu. He looked around him, trying to anticipate the next attack.

"Where is he?" he muttered. "Behind me? Above?"

"No," a muffled voice corrected. "Beneath you!"

"Doton: Shinjuu Zanshu no Jutsu!" (Earth Release: Inner Decapitation Technique)

Sasuke didn't have time to curse before hands grabbed his ankles and buried him in the dirt up to his neck. He scowled at the man crouching in front of him and remained silent.

"Don't be cocky," Kakashi advised the young genin. "Even if you manage to surprise your opponent like that, always think of the next step."

"That's some damn good advice!" Sakura yelled out. Kakashi turned around. The girl should have been knocked out for longer than that. He watched as she gathered her chakra and formed fifteen seals in quick succession.

"Yumekiri no Jutsu!" (Dream Mist Technique)

Kakashi smirked as he felt his body go though the familiar sensation of a genjustu. Even as he praised Kurenai for teaching these girls, he forgot that the kunoichi was a master at illusionary techniques. His earlier genjutsu probably didn't have any affect at all on the girl.

He watched as the sky above him turned a pale pink and purple mist floated around him. He closed his eyes and tried to raise his arms to form the Master Seal and dispel the illusion. He frowned when he realized that he couldn't.

What the…he wondered. Sakura's not experienced enough to complete a genjutsu binding.

Even if Sakura managed to surprise him and know how to bind him, Kakashi knew that that didn't account for the fact that his head was getting lighter and his breathing was starting to hitch.

He saw movement to his right and felt someone tug on the bells attached to his belt. Kakashi quickly made a decision and bit his lip hard enough to draw blood. The pink sky immediately disappeared, but the purple mist remained. He jerked his gaze to the girl next to him.

Warai had her hitai-ate tied over her mouth and nose. She reached over and took the bells roughly. She jumped out of the range of the mist and nodded to Sakura. The other girl left her spot near Sasuke's head and grabbed Kakashi under his arms. She slowly dragged the man away from the mist and sagged to the ground.

She untied her hitai-ate from around her nose and mouth and gasped out for air. "You're way heavier than you look, Kakashi-sensei," she gasped.

Warai used a small wind jutsu to dispel the rest of the purple mist and tossed the silver bell to Sakura. "Good job, Sakura," she said. "You kept the illusion up longer than we thought."

"It was your Dokukiri (Poison Mist) that did most of the work," the other girl said. She waved her hand at Warai's complement and placed a wet cloth over Kakashi's mouth. He hungrily drank the moisture, aching to get the poison out of his system.

"Dokukiri," Kakashi rasped out once the cloth was removed. "You combined a genjutsu with a ninjutsu." He turned his head to stared at the two girls. Sasuke stared as well. With his own hitai-ate around his mouth and covering his nose he could do little else. A small light of admiration shown in the onyx depths before anger filled them.

These girls did better than I did! Sasuke growled to himself.

"Yup! We worked together," Warai exclaimed. "And we got a bell each!"

"Great," he answered. "Once I'm mobile again, I'll take a soldier pill then tie Sasuke and Naruto to the posts."

Warai looked around for her boyfriend. "Where is Naruto?"

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!"

A large shape flew over their heads and into the trees on the opposite side of the field. The girls turned to their sensei. Sasuke simply rolled his eyes and raised an eyebrow.

"He must've triggered the last of my traps," the jounin chuckled.


Naruto was proud of Warai for managing to get a bell. He really was. But he didn't understand why she decided to give it to Sakura rather than him. He grimaced as he struggled against the ropes tying him to the wooden post. Next to him, Sasuke was similarly trussed up and was sulking quietly. Warai and Sakura sat on either side of Naruto and waited for their sensei to gather his thoughts and lecture them on their performance.

"Naruto," he started. "You're strong. But brute strength isn't enough. You can try to overwhelm your opponents with your kage bushins but most likely you'll just end up wasting time, energy, and chakra. You're too impulsive, but I'm sure that you've heard that complaint before. You're gullible too. I thought that you were a great prankster. You should use that devious little mind of yours to spot traps and avoid them. Not fall into them."

Naruto stayed silent during Kakashi's little speech and accepted the criticisms when they were given and glowed at the complements—such as they were. When the jounin continued, he nodded his head to each sentence.

"You need to learn how to use your techniques at the right time and in the right way. Again, I have to say that your talent as a trickster would have helped you a lot." Kakashi scratched his chin. "You had enough time yesterday to cover that eraser with itching powder instead of chalk dust. You also had enough time this morning to cover this entire field with traps, but you didn't."

"Damn! I should have thought of that," Naruto groaned to himself.

The jounin nodded absently and then turned his steely eye to the second boy tied to the post next to Naruto. "You, Sasuke, went your own way," he said. "You watched while Naruto was in trouble and instead of helping him, you looked for ways to get to me. You were so arrogant in your belief that you could take me—a jounin—that you didn't even consider teaming up with Naruto or the others. You assumed that they would bring you down."

He turned to the girls next and smiled slightly. "You two do justice to Kurenai-sensei," he said. "I can tell that she taught the kunoichi class very well and was harsher on you than the previous professor. Sakura, your ability to both cast and dispel genjustu will be very helpful in the future. Warai, it was probably you who came up with the plan to combine Sakura's genjustu and your ninjutsu. You worked as a team and that's great. I just have one complaint."

The two girls looked at each other in apprehension. Sakura bit her lower lip and twisted the skirt of her dress in her hands. Warai looked stoically at her sensei and waited.

"Why didn't you include the boys in your plan?" he asked, harshly.

Sakura laughed nervously and looked at her fellow kunoichi. Warai took the hint and became the spokesperson for their little 'team.'

"Well," she began. "Naruto was already fighting you by the time I found Sakura and we discussed our plans to team up against you. When I saw him get tripped up in that trap, I knew that he was too frustrated and angry to listen to me about the whole teamwork thing."

"And we knew that Sasuke wouldn't want to work with us," Sakura added, refusing to look at her crush. "Not without a lot of persuasion and we didn't have enough time to do that."

"So you decided to team up together—just the two of you?" Kakashi asked. The girls nodded and the jounin presented them with their lunches. "I'll let you two discuss things and then you can tell me who you'll send back to the Academy after lunch."

Both Naruto and Sasuke stiffened. They totally forgot the details of their test. Since the girls got the bells, they now had the power to send one of them back to the Academy. Naruto prayed that Warai would convince Sakura to pick him. Sasuke simply looked off into the distance.

"We already made our decision, Kakashi-sensei," Sakura called out softly. The silver haired man turned from his contemplation of the stone monument in front of him and raised an eyebrow.

Warai took a breath and saw Sakura nod. "We choose…" she trailed off.


A/N:

There ya go!

I'm evil…hehehe.