A/N: Hello! This is a rather long chapter, as I have felt guilty about not being able to post as quickly as I would like. I am trying very hard to become employed again and feeling guilty about spending time writing, so forgive me for making it a huge gap between postings as always I adore your comments and support and by the Maker…I need it!

CHAPTER 9 - TRUCE

The fires light started to creep through her slowly opening and sleep-dried eyelids. Elissa had no idea how long she had been asleep but her head felt heavy with too much sleep and her body fat from too much rest.

She could just make out the shape of a lone figure watching her wake from the shadows and she immediately felt her fingers creep under her pillow searching out for the tiny dagger she normally hid there whilst she slept, but as her eyes opened more carefully she started to remember that she wasn't at home…she was somewhere else and the daggers would not be there. She didn't seem to recognise the stranger's features but the way that he now stepped forward gazing upon her with his eyes felt somehow familiar.

Elissa tensed when she saw him take a step even further forward towards her bed and she instinctively hunched back to the wall behind her as the blankets scattered side wards or to the floor. He moved with a cat like grace but hovered in places as though scouting with his dark eyes for reasons to pause. He seemed unsure but still decided to move closer, regarding her like an awakening experiment. His curiosity slowly turned to a satisfaction smacked grin as he stepped further out of the dark and into the light where she could appraise this new character properly. She knew she was still in Redcliffe but as to whom this man was she had no idea. Her limbs and body felt aged and for the smallest of movements it was a tremendous effort. The stranger noticed this and his slim frame became shadowed as he lifted his left hand up to his mouth, which was now sporting an amazed and entertained grin…there it was again, she thought, I am sure I don't know him but his dark wild eyes seem so familiar. She watched him with a stern and cautious face and he reacted by drumming his fingers on his chin.

"Interesting...I thought it would be at least a day further before you rejoined us, if you ever did so of course"

His voice was light and yet somehow sharp, pleased and well articulated. His words sounded direct and exact and very self-assured which was not fitting with his age. She immediately thought of an old soul trapped inside the body of a younger mind as he presented himself with matching particles, in presence and personality. She couldn't see many people understanding this breed of man and she immediately thought of his loneliness, he was not so imposing to her now.

Elissa gave a sarcastic grunt and shimmied the blankets up around her. She looked down as she pulled the lighter blankets over her lower body as she noticed that she seemed to be dressed in only a thick nightgown, of which she could not recall putting on. As her body woke further she started to feel the cold creep in around her toes and she tucked them back in and under as her eyes raced back up to the talking stranger before her. He was now stroking the small tuft of hair on his chin as he took the smallest of steps backwards. A silent understanding of her discomfort was remedied by a step back but not too far that they couldn't continue to read each other.

She glanced him over and found that he wore a robe of the richest red, which was accompanied by a slight waistband of silver that was draped around his waist. Two vials dangled from this belt and the clinking noise they made as he moved seemed a little hypnotic to Elissa. Her attention now travelled upwards and she could see that he wore a full head of raven black hair that was long enough to dance over his wolf pelted shoulders and down to the middle of his chest. He wore no braid or band and let his hair fall like a wild animal would. It was preened and clean but she had never seen a man wear his hair so free. He could have been around the same age as her if not perhaps a little older, his face was defined and his cheek bones and structure well chiselled, in short he was very handsome but the fact that he knew it and didn't care made the jewels that hung from his ear and down his shoulder shine on their own and bring the only warming beauty to its holder. It was rare, she thought, to see a man with such a wild breed of dress but with such finery that only a man of knowledge would dare to try and carry off. She didn't see him fitting into any chantry or Mage circle yet…he was somehow trying to fit in, and he was struggling. She understood little of this man so far only that he was not accustomed to changing in order to fit in or be accepted, she liked this, but still didn't trust him.

"Have you finished your appraisal?"

His once again clear and direct voice cut her from her thoughts.

"Have you?" she replied.

She sensed that it was now perhaps time for some introductions and he agreed as he walked over to her bed and lifted her chin up with his finger, oddly cold touch for a healer, she thought. He glanced at her askew and then turned her gaze to the other side. He made a short humphing sound and stepped back.

"My name is Jarin…and I am for all intent and purposes, your medic here at Redcliffe and believe me if I was not...you would be dead" His eyes lit up with self-appreciation at his role in her life. Elissa was not surprised but found this warmed her humour somewhat.

"Erm, thank you?" she replied, trying to find the words that wouldn't offend him

"Yes…well...I guess…your welcome?" he was very new to gratitude, obviously, she thought.

"What was wrong with me?"

"Do you want the truth or the official story?" His hands flew up in a sarcastic curl and it was plain to see that this was to be a man who liked to talk with his hands.

"Both?"

"Well they and by they I mean the brainless sheep out there, think that you were exhausted, tired a little bit suicidal and grrr like…the truth is that you people will go about drinking Darkspawn blood and forgetting that as well as binding you with their thoughts and presence…it is actually BAD FOR YOU!"

Elissa just stared at him. There was not much she could say to that, he was right of course. They all knew the dangers Darkspawn blood would have upon those who survive the joinings but not much else was ever pondered on. She stopped thinking about what else would come with her job description after she found out she could not conceive…there didn't seem to be anything else that could top that.

"Your heart was rotting. It is as simple as that. The taint isn't just a fabulous battle accessory you know? It sits and waits for any chance of weakness and then it feeds...attacks and grows. It is like any other disease, it claims and kills. Your heart was a plum little factory of negativity and despair. It had rotted away to its very embers and with none of that jolly tally ho spirit you all seem to have, which by the way is tedious beyond belief, you were ripe for the taking…"

Elissa pouted her lips and chewed on the inside of her bottom lip, her eyes darting left and right trying to think of something clever to say, all she could honestly think of was that she had met someone a little bit more angrier than her…he seemed even more familiar now…Jarin? Jarin? Where had she hared that name before?

"…If I were you I would introduce some form of pamphlet for equally keen and eager naive recruits to ponder over as they sign their lives away to a nice little tipple and a spiffing sword."

"We don't get swords…but the tipple was exquisite…what did the taint do to me?"

"Well, in layman's terms it worked its way through your blood and settling on your heart. Over the years you allowed it to control your movements and feelings, It told you that you were angry and you went along with it, it told you that you were better off dead and you believed it, you fought it of course which is why it took so long but it was blackened…withered and almost out of my reach to bring it back. Its not only desire demons that can get inside you and take over you know. So young and new to this world you all are, things are not as black and white as the Warden handbooks think they are. Once again I am forced to remind you...its B.A.D for you!"

"And now?"

Jarin controlled his flapping and illustrative hands and folded them behind his back whilst he took a deep breath and continued.

"Now? well it is scarred and still untrusting but it will heal…maybe" she saw a glint of sympathy behind his eyes and it was enough to warm him in her own.

"Then...I thank you Jarin…I am in your debt Ser."

"Ser? Phooey not likely…but since you mentioned debts there is something I must speak to you about…"

The door opened slowly and the creak cut the conversation in two. Alistair popped his head around the door and then his whole body followed suit. Jarin grimaced and snapped his head from Elissa to the clearly unwelcome visitor.

"I said, quite clearly, that she needed more peace to rest, Kings are not above plain common sense or the words of a Healer and higher intellectual you know!"

Elissa found that she could not hide the grin that his bare faced insubordination brought. It seemed that Alistair was to always be doomed with the immediate hate of all things mage like.

"Its fine Jarin…I am fine. Please return to any other affairs you may have and you can call upon me at a later time." she nodded a goodbye and he turned to leave, not too happy at anything that had just occured, she was delighted to have pained him.

"We will speak soon…very soon" He growled under his breath and swished with a slight fury past Alistair and out the door slamming it shut behind him.

"Now that's why Mages should have personality spells!" Allistair was surprised at the farewells and indeed the welcome he had been given upon entering the small room.

"I quite like him…he seems…never mind" she shook the strange comparison from her mind as she moved up to the headboard of her bed, pulling the blankets even tighter around her now.

Alistair smiled in response and placed himself in a large chair by the fire, slinking backwards so the two huge arms of the chair hid him somewhat in a feint shadow. He picked up the two large daggers at the foot of the chair and twirled them in his hands as the time ticked by in silence he played with them for what felt like an eternity refusing to meet her eye but gathering up the courage to try. She lowered her head to the pillow once more and was content enough to return to sleep knowing that he was simply just there. Her heart truly did feel differently and the loss of the hatred was slight but still enough to confuse her by being near him so calmly and peacefully.

"These are not yours. they are bland and dull, numbed and scratched. What happened to your mothers?" His voice was like a whisper as it brought her out of her daze.

"They are in my saddle bag still...I hope." She sensed that he was trying to make a start in conversation and he needed her to be the second person involved in doing that, this didn't feel like it would be easy but they would need to work together to push the past away, even just a little bit.

"Since returning from Denerim after the blight, I found that every village I went through needed a sign of courage of some kind, so they could pick themselves up and fight on to repair their homes, livelihoods and families. They needed something to help rebuild and defend against straggling and hungry Darkspawn. Riordan…"

She paused at the name.

She had found great comfort in Riordan and the added vision of Duncan always returned with his. Alistair placed the daggers by the fireplace and stood, he moved closer now standing by the window a few steps away from her bed. She watched his face mirror her own as he gazed out at the night sky seeing his own memories conjured by the name. Duncan's loss was always to be this raw to them both, she decided to carry the story on and leave that sorrow with the rest.

"Riordan told me that the weapon of a slaying warden always hung in the local tavern of any village that survived a blight. So I had several made to replicate the 'great daggers of Highever' tinted with arch-demon blood and…well…there you go"

"Your mother would be appalled I suspect?"

They both laughed lightly and it turned into an uncomfortable silence. He walked over to sit on the end of her bed as she seemed to shift further in the other direction not having much room left to escape in, he was so close now and she was not sure she could handle it just yet. She still didn't feel comfortable with his closeness, but at least she wasn't spitting venom at him. It felt strange to no longer hate him but she felt she had to press back any other emotions that wanted to rush back.

Progress and yet more silence.

Alistair took a deep breath and curled his fingers around a lose curve in the bed sheets. Every inch of his focus was on this piece of cloth…his eyes...his concentration and his courage relied on this bed sheet for support to say what he came to say.

"After you killed the arch demon, I made my way to Fort Drakon's gates. I was grabbed by a field mage and told to come urgently to a makeshift tent at the side of the palace. When I walked in I knew immediately why I had been called for. They said that they had been looking all over for me and he, that is Fergus, wouldn't rest until they brought me back there. He waited, 'Liss to make me promise to him…and I did. As soon as I did he closed his eyes and left for the fade. The mages told me afterwards that they found no injuries or wounds but they sensed a heavy darkness or melancholy within him. Wynne told me later that he had died of a …"

"…Broken heart…yes I know the rest" she interrupted solemnly, wrapping her under sheet around her stomach as he pressed on. She didn't want to do this but she knew that they had to. If nothing happened afterwards then that was fate but right now the last four years had to be explained and understood, for both of them.

"Morrigan's absence when you returned made me feel that it was the right choice, Maker forgive me. I was drunk with morale obligation and right doing. The journey to where I stood then seemed wrought with heavy decisions and all of them you had made, I had it easy. I never knew how easy until I…I had to tell you …" he gulped for a surge of bravery to filter through and make him finish "…that we should be apart. What is worse is that I blamed it all on Ferelden I was a massive fool…no surprise there eh?"

He made a nervous smile and his eyes now searched hers with an urgent sense of acceptance. To his surprise the corers of her mouth tried to lift but they gave up, that was more than he cold have hoped for. She reached forward and laid the palm of her own hand on his as it began to turn red gripping at her bed sheet, he relaxed his hand into her care and he stared at her, begging her silently to say something.

"I understand what you did now…but four years went by and with each day I died a little more inside. It was the taint hacking away at an easy target but i welcomed the hatred that kept me going and look what happened when I drove it out...I was for the fade…and no Darkspawn needed to get anywhere near me. I am just…not sure..."

"I am not asking anything of you 'Liss. I just wanted you to know…and well…I shall leave you to your rest." He began to stand hating to withdraw his hand from her warm grasp, but not wanting her to feel pressured into forgetting the past. He had given it plenty of thought and even if she regarded him as a known acquaintance instead of an enemy or best-forgotten mistake this would be a victory.

"You are leaving Redcliffe?" the panic in her voice surprised him and he sat back down on the bed. He shook himself and she too was surprised at the reluctance for him to leave but he was not going to give her time to turn back.

"No…well not for now, there is trouble in the bannorn but..."

Silence returned as he sat back down leaning his back up against the corner her bed was placed in whilst crossing his legs in front of him and stuffing a pillow behind his neck. She slowly watched him as she curled back up under her sheets nervously playing with the loose curls at her ears. They sat at opposite ends of the small bed and she moved her hands to a pillow trying to find a cold spot for her head to rest.

"Is that stuffy Bann Jintall still at court?"

"Ah yes, I am afraid he is but he is now joined by two shorter Jintall's and the ever so popular Mrs Jintall and no…he has not learnt how to control his random attacks on his neighbours chicken farms"

They laughed a little and Alistair spent the night telling her stories of the characters at court these days and the things that had happened since she had last visited the capital. The moon had long gone and the sun began to peep through the mornings red clouds before he left her room silently and regretfully taking a last look at her as she slept peacefully and in his own honest opinion…Beautifully. He wondered as he shut the door behind him carefully if he still had a hold on even a small part of her life? he mentally prepared himself to cling on to that part with everything and all that he had.

U:U:U:U:U

The woods darted past her as she surged forward yearning for that familiar sensation that crept up at the back of her neck, where are you? She silently begged...help me!

Nothing.

She suddenly skidded to a halt when before her stood a small but growing horde of Darkspawn in their familiar dribs and drabs of hunted and scavenged armour.

They turned to see her and she slowly buckled her courage up allowing her to stand solo and strong, her back sharp and arched reaching behind her for her bow. Standing slightly off she slowly raised her bow arm and as the horde grunted and reared for attack she loaded her twinned and tainted arrows. Everything stood still time, sound and even age…she took a deep breath in and the white light of Cousland courage returned to her as if it had never left, she was alone and she would slaughter them all, this was her way, the scout she had always been was always the first to attack up front first...all alone. This was how she was stocked; she would fight like it now for as long as she lived. She laced an extra arrow to make it three through the strings and shut her guarding eye drawing them back with precision and destination now locked. She could here them drawling and howling mixing their hideous communication with the customary call to arms of the sword and shield drumming. From the back of the scattered pack she saw him…the target…the filthy emissary, Short and stocky and reeking of death. She would have him if nothing else that day. With that thought the bow released its quarry and the arrows flew through the air silently pacing and seeking their target with force and brutality, they spiralled and weaved together lashing out in intended unity whistling loud and fast past the heads of the other filth they shot past. The arrows dashed sprinkling poison on the Darkspawn gathered around as they struck with force into the gut of the over balanced Genlock Emissary. He gave a short whelp and ripped at the arrows pulling them out without a care, his staff now aloft in the air in his shaking and bloodied hand, summoning a glyph of protection around himself he began to heal. Elissa didn't wait for him to finish she threw the bow to the floor and ran grabbing with her crossed arms for her daggers. Her eyes to the ground she dashed dragging the twin blades across the forest floor, sparks and acid flying as the tinder it ran across glowed with their power and runes. She let out a loud roar and charged head first with a leap into the now surrounding crowd lunging forward with a duck and riposte dodging the lazy and crude blunt swords of the Darkspawn.

They piled in from nowhere becoming more than the six or seven she had originally scouted. She criticised herself with a sleeting breath as she continued to step out of the way of the tightening weaponry, her duellist skills had not become rusty as her stance hardened and second…third Darkspawn dropped to her feet. More and more they came until she could not see the forest any longer around her. She smiled and laughed, firstly to herself and then as more appeared louder and louder in a maddening bellow.

This is it Elissa...this is what you wanted.

She laughed further as she thought of all the times she wanted this and now that she didn't...it happened...by shielding her they had only brought her to her destiny faster…well she wasn't going out like a coward…she was Elissa Cousland… this was her death. She thought of many things she felt would pass through her mind as it got closer but a feint voice echoed to her, a small rhyme she had heard as a child made its way through her bones and helped her stand as blades cut to her arms and chest.

anduri alor vell an evan

ata vre beneavm

Father….

She suddenly heard the loud caw of a nearby bird. It came again and over the heads of the oncoming Darkspawn she saw a large black raven circling and becoming larger and larger with each beat of its wings, the attackers stopped and gazed upwards as it descended behind them. Within a few heartbeats it went silent and before she knew it the air turned icy cold the leaves under her boots started to crisp and crack and the forest turned a beautiful shade of white, swallowing the bodies of the ones that dared darken its beauty. The Darkspawn shouted and yelled as they slowly became stuck to the floor desperately trying to free their feet from the icy shackles that now ravaged at their skin. The purity of nature was killing them quicker then she ever could.

The emissary roared and sent a swarm of pestilent bees to the new attacker and before Elissa dared question what had happened she began to call any nearby wolves to her aid as she finished and continued to slash at the stunned Darkspawn as the growls of her small and deadly allies began to smother the remaining fodder. The emissary turned and fled leaving behind enough traps to slow down any followers. She thought about following but knew only to well that experience had taught her to savour a small victory if it was just about deserved.

Elissa breathed and removed her helm, wiping her brow with the back of her clothed wrist. As the last of the Darkspawn fell the frosting of the forest dripped away as though it had never been. The mist cleared and a familiar silhouette was beginning to emerge.

Morrigan? … "Morrigan!"

"No. Warden…not Morrigan but I."

Jarin walked forward from the mist and gripped onto a weathered silver bark staff he had fashioned from debris at his feet. He was removing a small globe that he had attached to the top and placed it into an equally small black pouch at his side returning the now ordinary piece of firewood to the floor, powerless and natural once again.

"Jarin…how? The raven, it was you?"

It was becoming clear to her now, the raven…the raven had been following her for weeks. She remembered seeing it the night Alistair stormed out of Highever, the night she was too drunk to fight and the morning she awoke after the storm. Morrigan...she had spoken a name like his when she came to her as she slept.

'Jarin cannot hold it any longer…Elissa, Listen you will not be able to feel them...it is…'

"And so it finally becomes clear yes? I think you know the answers, Elissa…she sent me to watch over you. You no longer feel them do you? The connection to them is indeed severed, just as she said it would. You are free...so to speak. She gave this to you in return for my education of…how should I say…you. I am bound to you by blood...naughty I know but it really is for your own good"

"She gave this to me? SHE GAVE THIS TO ME? How...how could she...by BLOOD…MY BLOOD?"

"hmmmmm…yes she said you would see this the wrong way at first. I took a small sample of your blood when you were brought up to your rooms the night of the storm. I made a small recipe that allows me to know where you are and if you are in trouble etc etc rather tedious really but, Mother was right...you like to get into trouble."

"MOTHER?…wait…no…that was only four years ago…it cant be, you don't look like him.." she felt sick and light the wounds upon her now starting to reach past the adrenalin that had forced it back before now. Jarin strode over to her and reached for her reclining arm. He held onto her with such a force that Elissa knew better than to try and struggle. He looked at her armour and then her chest; he placed his hands over her stomach and brought his eyes up to her as he chanted a healing spell.

He tried to read her thoughts from her rapidly blinking eyes and rapid heartbeat; he gave a cough for a laugh and smirked as he released her.

"No, thank goodness...I am not your kings child. By the fade I would have done myself in years ago if I were." He didn't intend to go further but the relieved glare she gave him made him press on " We all call her mother, she is our light and the way forward. We don't need to fear the wretched Chantry or Templars anymore. There is another life other than being on the run or being a whipped and feared mage toy at the tower"

"Why has she done this to me? I am useless now...I can no longer be a grey warden...I have…nothing.." the realisation of the revelation now weighed heavily upon her newly healed chest.

"Tis true...but you have something better...a welcoming womb and better life expectancy"

"For what? What am I supposed to do with that?"

"Get over yourself and marry the foolish blond one, be queen have children like rabbits and generally be grateful"

"Grateful? How can I be? Alistair is still tainted; I should look forward to a future in which i watch my loved one leave me for his death? Watch him as I no longer understand why he awakes at night with visions that are ripping his soul apart? I am redundant to his life now even more so than I was before. I don't understand how she could hate me enough to do this…I..."

"Hate you? Well I must say we never bargained for that conclusion, which you are jumping at by the way. Have you considered the fact that he will be overjoyed that he no longer has to consider another wife that will keep his bloodline intact on the throne? You are more than capable of doing so now…you are no longer a Grey Warden and the nobles would have no cause to worry about a dual warden hold on the crown?"

Elissa considered his words before slumping to the floor. "I...I cannot tell anyone Jarin. How would I explain how this was done? In fact I don't even know how this was done. I just about left Weisshaupt with a reasonable explanation for surviving the Archdemon…this…would have me in stocks if not execution. How do I even begin to tell Alistair?"

"How do they know if you do not tell them, you have resigned have you not? Alistair will act like a primitive if you ask me; chuck a few toys out the cradle. Really I don't understand the pedestal you put that boy upon, he doesn't need nobles and advisors he needs a nanny. He is rash and foolish, unable to rule alone and quite frankly he whinges like a washer woman."

"YES…but he is my whinging washer woman…I mean...he was, was my whinging washing woman"

"So what's the problem? Find another more suitable man…come…we shall do so now."

"What?"

"I am charged to you, I thought we discussed that. If you do not wish to stay and follow that path…then we should waste no time in leaving now. There is much I wish to learn from you and I will not allow that smelly dwarf to join us...so...lets go.."

"Back up, Jarin. WE didn't discuss anything…you brought down my world and then you expect me to huddle up and journey on with you?"

"I told you...mother did what she did so that you would.."

"…Yes, yes I get that.." she now arose and walked over to Jarin, standing just close enough to make him want to step back "…what I don't understand is why you thought it would be that easy. Morrigan, whether she liked it or not, had been behind the most awful four years of my short life. How I got through it I don't know but one of the main factors of that is the rash and foolish boy who wouldn't take no for an answer and dragged me back to mankind and rational thinking.."

"…Yes well I had a lot to do with that too…if I hadn't been there…"

" I know! But...I am not just leaving. I will explain to him of all people and see where I stand. I am tired of running and if Morrigan truly believes that I would go through that so I could run away then she was wrong. But I think she knew that…you are a test of hers Jarin. She always did that, throw situations and decisions at me so that she could study how normal people worked outside of the wilds…and she has done so again. Come…"

She gestured at Jarin to follow but he stood still arms now folded and his lips crossed with frustration. Elissa had guessed right.

"Now you can fly or you can walk, but if you are truly bound to me Jarin then I am going back to the castle and you will follow. If you wish to learn, and I believe you do...then this will be your first lesson"

She turned her back on him returning to the place she dumped her bow as he gathered up his robes and stomped in a temper tantrum across the leaves and fauna of the forest floor. He huffed and puffed as she sheathed her daggers fighting with himself to get the last word in.

"Can I just point out to anyone without the mental capacity to realise by now, naming no names…that we are in the fade?"

Her eyes shot open and her body jolted upright. Jarin stood at the foot of her bed with a pleased and smug look plastered to his magniloquent features.

"Can you turn into a raven here…outside the fade?" Elissa rasped

"I am not limited…wait...is that all you have to ask me after all that?"

"No i have much more to ask you but first you must bring me some clothing"

What a waste of a well-measured fade encounter, Jarin thought to himself as he wondered why he was suddenly now her ladies maid. So this is his education? so far he was not warming to the whole idea.