"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."
Chapter 9 - Questions
Asher, Kozik, Quinn and Cash had finally decorated the Christmas tree with different sized bulb ornaments, that Cash had picked out, and a white star that lit up for the top of the Christmas tree. Asher of course let Cash play with a strand of Christmas lights and had tangled it around himself, and Ash couldn't resist on taking pictures.
She had decorated the fireplace with stockings, one for Cash, Quinn, Kozik and Tig, because Cash didn't want papa to be left out. Ash looked around her living room and it almost looked like a Christmas shop exploded. The house smelled like Christmas, and it made her miss Charming. It was a hint of pies and christmas tree candles lit on the shelf of the fireplace, and a few candle warmers placed around the home. The flat screen TV that was mounted about the fire place was playing A Christmas Story, something Kozik insisted Cash needed to watch.
Kozik and Quinn had strung lights outside her blue home with white lights, and was thankful the snow didn't pick up until they were finished. Cash was laying on the floor holding a stuffed animal that papa had given him when he was first born, a lion, that he carried everywhere. She gave him a bath after they ate Chinese food, and dressed him in thermal long sleeved pajama's with little motorcycles on them.
It was going on 6:30 in the evening, and Asher was exhausted. She got cozy on the couch and tucked her knees under her, and watched as Cash lazily stood up with his favorite blanket and lion, and trotted over to her and climbed on to the couch and cuddled up to her. "I love you so much.." Asher bent down and kissed the top of his head. "I wub jew mama.." Cash said with a sleepy voice.
Quinn had left to go back to the clubhouse, and Kozik was still outside making sure that the decorations were perfect for Cash. She was grateful for everything he has done, and everything he has helped out with, including Cash. She assured him that he wouldn't care, but Kozik protested saying that he deserved a winter wonderland type of Christmas, since when he was one, he didn't remember his first Christmas.
She knew that she had feelings for Kozik, and he had feelings for her, but it was just a mess of a situation, even though she didn't have Happy's crow, or was no longer his old lady, it felt wrong. It didn't stop them from sharing nights together, and it didn't stop them from growing close. Kozik was really the only man she could trust, besides her father. She had gotten closer than ever to Tig, and couldn't be happier. He was a great grand-dad, and she was proud at how well behaved he was with Cash. She knew that a few of the Samcro guys had went to prison, including Happy, and it almost made her feel relieved because of the pain she felt when he said he could have anyone he wanted. The thought of him with another woman shook her to the core. She didn't think it was fair that she was left to herself to pick up the pieces of her shattered heart, while being pregnant.
A few weeks once she got settled into Tacoma, she started to recieve letters from Happy, but she didn't open them. She couldn't think of him, even though it was hard having a child who was a spitting image of the man who destroyed her, after promises he made were broken. She kept an old box filled with pictures of her and Happy, along with Chibs who she missed deeply, and Juice, someone she would write to. Opie didn't go to prison, and he and the kids would come up and spend a couple of days together and take the kids out. It was almost as if she were living a normal life, but at night, that's when it hit the worst.
She missed his smell, the way his breathing would lull her to sleep, with his arms wrapped around her. The rough hands holding her close to him as he buried his face into her hair as they cuddled together. The way his lips would feel against her skin. Asher let out a sigh and looked around the living room and spotted her guitar. The one thing that she could escape from the pain of the past, and focus soley on her son, and herself. She was beyond speechless when Kozik showed up with the present when she first came to Tacoma, and then that gesture alone showed her that he truly cared for her.
"Want mama to play you a song?" Asher asked looking down to her son and he nodded his head and moved some so she could get up and grab the guitar. She thought back to the times where Cash wouldn't go to sleep, so when she took him into her bedroom, and started to sing to him, he instantly relaxed and ended up falling asleep, something Happy used to do. She could see the look in Cash's eyes, knowing that he was missing something, and that's what killed her the most. When he would come home from daycare at the hospital, he would talk about his little friends with their daddy's, and she could hear the sadness in his voice, and that made her hate Happy.
Picking up the guitar, she moved to the couch and placed the guitar in her lap as Cash moved to the other side of the couch to watch her, another thing Happy did. She tuned the guitar some, and started to strum Silent Night. Singing the song softly, she looked at Cash as he watched her. He would smile once in a while, and it melted her heart. Cash was something special to her, just like any child would be to their mother, but Cash saved Asher in so many ways, and she would do anything to protect him.
Kozik was outside looking in the window to see Cash and Asher on the couch with Asher playing the guitar as snow flakes fell down on him. He couldn't help but to smile seeing the two looking at each other, without even breaking eye contact. He saw the look in Asher's eyes when she looked at Cash, he knew that he was what kept her together. Finishing up the Christmas lights and decorations he turned to walk towards the front door but stoppe when a few SUV's pulled up, which made him raise an eyebrow and be on high alert. He reached in his leather jacket, with his hand on his gun instinctively, but removed his hand when he saw Tig walk out of the car, followed by Clay and Gemma, and then Tara and Jax holding the kids.
"Damn, it's fuckin' cold.." Tig grumbled and shivered as he made his way to the porch. "Watch your mouth old man, they're inside." Kozik smirked when Tig glared at him. Even though the two had a feud going, they both put it aside around Asher and Cash. Kozik didn't wait for everyone to pile out of the cars, and headed inside with Tig following.
"Papa!" Cash jumped up with a bright smile and ran towards his grandpa before Asher could even realize what was happening. "Dad?" Asher sat the guitar down and got up from the couch. "I found him lurkin' around in the snow.." Kozik smiled down to her and kissed the top of her head when he saw how happy she was in the moment. Tig picked up Cash and hugged him closely, as he wrapped his tiny arms around his neck, "Surprise.." Tig gave a cheeky grin when Asher heard the front door open and voices. Asher glared at Tig who shrugged his shoulders and then turned back to the foyer that lead to the front door. She was immediately pulled into a hug by Gemma and Clay, and she was speechless. She saw Tara and Jax with both boys, and then Opie with Kenny and Ellie. She gave them all hugs, and then kissed the kids. She saw Juice and Chibs who pulled her into a bone crushing hug, and couldn't help but laugh. She had unshed tears in her eyes when she saw Piney, and hugged him tightly. She heard the front door open again, and she looked up, and her breath caught in her throat at the sight of him. Happy.
She immediately felt tense, and felt like the walls were caving in on her, and turned her back on him and walked everyone into the living room, and told them to have a seat. Kozik noticed the sudden change in Asher, and then spotted the Tacoma Killer, and watched as she locked eyes with him, silently gesturing to get Cash and he nodded.
Happy wanted to run back out the door seeing the hurt in her eyes at the sight of him. He stood there silently until Jax and Tig walked back in and demanded that he go into the living room, he had come this far and he shouldn't be a pussy. He let out a grunt and followed them.
Walking into the living room Happy looked around and noticed the guitar resting against the couch, and could remember the times she'd sing to him. He noticed the dark hard wood floors with a black fur rug in the middle, and red couch with two red chairs with black lamps and tables. The room was all gray, except for the wall that held the fireplace, it was red. He looked around and noticed that she had done well for herself. He took in the scent, and he didn't realize how bad his heart ached.
Everyone was sitting around after Asher distrubted beers, and silently gave Happy one without looking at him, as everyone talked and caught up with Asher, the kids were playing on the floor and Happy noticed Asher stuck close to Kozik the entire night.
Asher sat in a chair next to Kozik with an arm around her lower back to make her feel somewhat calm. Asher didn't bother to make eye contact with Happy the entire time he had been there. She focused on the conversations Tara would spark up, and on Tig and Kozik, and then Cash. She noticed he was sitting on the floor holding on to his stuffed lion tightly as Abel was with Jax on the floor, and Opie was with Ellie and Kenny on the floor. She immediately knew that Cash was upset and instantly wanted to scoop him up and run away with him, but she couldn't quite do that with a room full of bikers. Her heart broke as Cash kept glances at Jax smiling and laughing with Abel, and then Opie who was holding Ellie and Kenny to his sides. She saw the unshed tears building in his eyes, and decided to call him over.
"Cash baby...come here for a second.." Asher spoke quietly and Cash nodded his head slightly, grabbed his blanket and held tight to his lion as he trotted over to Asher with his head down, and once he reached Asher's arms, he started to cry, which caused everyone to go silent. She knew she shouldn't do this, any other time she would of taken him into another room, but it was time Samcro realized what Happy did to their son.
Asher picked him up and he buried his face into her neck as she wrapped her arms around him and Kozik rubbed his back. "What's wrong baby?" Asher asked and looked up for the first time to meet Happy's eyes staring at her with worry and confusion on his face. "Nuffin..." Cash puffed out as he wiped his cheeks roughly, his bottom lip quivering. "I know that's not true munchkin...so spill the beans. It's okay.." Asher encouraged him and Cash looked at Kozik and he nodded his head for him to talk. "They have daddies..." Cash whimpered and looked down, and Asher had to bite the inside of her cheek from crying. "I know sweetie..I know...but..." Asher started and looked around to see everyone's face, and they were heartbroken and glared at Happy, who's eyes were watering. "Oz..." Cash whispered and got Kozik's attention and Cash crawled into his lap, "Yeah buddy?" Kozik wrapped his arms around him as Cash laid his head on his chest facing his mother. "You be my daddy?" Cash asked looking up at him with doe eyes, and Ash's heart instantly broke, and Kozik looked at Ash, and then around the room to see everyone holding their breath, and Happy was clenching and uncleching his fists with fury. "You know I love you and your mama no matter what right?" Kozik asked Cash and he nodded his head, and Kozik looked to Asher who was just as heartbroken as he was, "And I will always be here for you no matter what, and will protect you and mama..." Kozik started out and stopped when Happy stood up, and all eyes focused on him. Asher immediately picked up Cash, and walked out of the room, with Kozik and Tig following them.
Happy couldn't hear another man be called daddy, he couldn't hear another man vow to protect the love of his life. He saw the heart break on his son's face, and he couldn't sit there a minute longer letting his son think he didn't have a father. He followed Tig, Kozik, Asher and Cash into what seemed to be her bedroom.
"Can we talk?" Happy stated in almost a whisper, and Asher sighed and walked towards him, leaving Cash in Kozik's arms, and pushed him out the door and closed it behind her. "No, I think it's best if you leave. You have caused enough damage and I don't need to try to glue MY son back together when you decide you want some pussy and a single life, so get the fuck out of MY house." Asher sneered, but Happy stood his ground.
"I'm not leaving, and I'm not letting OUR son call another man daddy. You've played house with Koz long enough, and I'm not fucking leaving until you and I and OUR son go home together." Happy stated in a dominant tone.
"Oh fuck off! I haven't fucking talked to you in almost TWO years! You didn't want me in your life then, nor MY child, and guess what you fucking idiot, I dont want you in my life now! You can fucking hurt me all you want, I don't give a fuck. I will NOT let you bring my son down. He will not know what a fucking coward you were!" Asher nearly roared, and pushed Happy as hard as she could. Happy had to take a deep breath and gripped her shoulders and pushed her to the wall gently, and the door opened up quickly, and then shut quickly.
"You need to leave. You are scaring Cash." Kozik stated pushing himself between Asher and Happy. Happy glared at him, and looked him up and down, and noticed how protective he was of Asher, and instantly knew. "You fuckin' my old lady?" Happy growled out. "She ain't your old lady, and you need to leave because HER son is in their scared out of his mind because of YOU." Kozik stated and Asher wiggled past him and entered her bedroom.
"This is MY fucking family, and I'm not giving up." Happy growled out and walked off, against his better judgement.
"You gave up on them two years ago." Kozik mumbled with a sigh as he watched Happy storm into the living room, and then out the door with Jax and Opie and the kids and Clay with the women following them.
Kozik walked into the living room and saw Piney, Juice and Chibs on the couch. "We're gonna stay here, the others are going to the hotel." Piney stated and Kozik nodded his head. "There's three guest bedrooms. I'll let Ash know." Kozik stated and walked back into the bedroom.
Every time Happy tried to close his eyes, Cash and Asher's face would pop up. The thought of his son not realizing he had a father killed him. He was a coward. He couldn't shake the pain of the look in Asher's eyes when Cash said he didn't have a daddy. He became just like his own father, someone he hated.
Throwing back the covers, he paced his room. He glanced at the close, it was going on 9:30. He knew he was only a few blocks away from Asher's, and decided to get dressed and walk over. He knew Chibs, Juice, Piney and Tig were there, but he couldn't sleep. He had to try to at least talk to her.
He threw on his jeans and boots, and a white shirt with a black hoodie and his cut. He grabbed his knife and let it hang from his waist. He made sure to grab his smokes, wallet, and phone and was quickly out the door.
Once Ash put Cash to bed and read him a bed time story with Kozik, an almost nightly ritual, Ash excused herself from the guests in the house and took a long hot shower to try to relax her nerves.
She couldn't help but to fall to her knees and cry in the shower. Seeing Happy standing in her living room made her relive all that pain from when he crushed her world. The fact he said he didn't love her, and that she was just pussy for him, made her want to vomit. Him saying that he didn't want to settle down with her and their precious son, made her actually dry heave. Her sobs were uncontrolable at the fact Cash didn't know his daddy, and asked another man to be his father.
Growing up being adopted, Asher felt that pain to not know who her mother or father was. She didn't feel complete, and she knew her son didn't either. Even though he was going on two, he was a smart little boy, and knew that there was someone missing in his life. The look in his eyes when he would see a child or baby with a man out in public, watching their every move. Tonight, was the final straw. Cash seeing Jax and Opie with their children, and seeing Cash sad that he wasn't really included, she knew that she had to figure out something.
"Ash.." Ash heard the familiar voice of Kozik walk into the bathroom, and listened as he shut the door. Even though the shower hid the tears on her face, Kozik wasn't a fool. They could hear her crying from the living room. She had been strong for so long, but finally broke. Not for her, but for her son, and everyone could see that. Kozik felt terrible that Asher had to go through this, and wish he could take her pain away, including Cash's. He opened the shower curtain and turned the water off, and grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her small toned body, and picked her up bridal style, and carried her into her bedroom, and shut the door.
Asher felt numb, she felt so many emotions, she couldn't even process them all. As she sat in Kozik's lap as his strong arms were wrapped around her, she felt comfort. Something she felt from the very begining with him. She buried her face into the curve of her neck, and tried like hell to have control of her emotions.
Kozik knew that she wouldn't speak about Happy, and he understood why. He sat for a moment to choose his words carefully, and let out a sigh. "I know that you don't approve of what happened, and I agree with you, but Cash can't go on without knowing his dad. You know that no matter what happens, I will always be here for you and Cash. I love you both, but I see the pain in Cash's eyes, it's the same pain you have. You both are missing that one piece of the puzzle, and we both know who it is. Everyone does. For the past two years, I've heard through the grape vine that he has done nothing but try to reach out to you...he deserves to at least officially meet his son. That doesn't mean that you have to forgive him for what he did, but the look on his face tonight, I can see he is in just as much pain Ash." Kozik explained gently, and Asher silently got off his lap, and walked towards the closet, and got dressed in a pair of sweatpants, and an old t-shirt of Kozik's. She wrapped the towel around her hair to dry it some, and threw it in the dirty clothes hamper, and wrapped her long hair into a bun on the top of her head.
Kozik watched as she went on auto-pilot, and he knew that she was playing out her feelings in her head. He got up from the bed, and walked up towards her and stopped her in her tracks. He cupped her cheeks, and bent down to get eye level with her. "No matter what happens, you will always have me, and so will Cash. Remember that." Kozik stated honestly, and placed a kiss on her lips, and let go and walked out of the room, with her following.
Asher gave a small smile to the occupants in the living room while she grabbed her guitar and headed towards her large kitchen, the farthest room away from Cash's room. She laid the guitar on the table, and went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of wine, and a glass, and poured herself a drink. She moved back to the kitchen table and sat down and took the glass of wine down in one drink, and poured herself another glass, and then picked up the guitar and got situated, and began to strum. Focusing only on the guitar in her hands, and the songs in her head.
Hello my friend, we meet again
It's been awhile, where should we begin?
Feels like forever
Within my heart are memories
Of perfect love that you gave to me
Oh, I remember
When you are with me, I'm free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice
We've seen our share of ups and downs
Oh how quickly life can turn around
In an instant
It feels so good to reunite
Within yourself and within your mind
Let's find peace there
Tig noticed Happy walking up towards the porch when he was outside smoking, and nodded his head. He could see the pain in his face, and in his eyes, as he spoke, "Is she awake?" Happy asked and watched as Tig nodded. "In the kitchen with wine and a guitar...she's not good man.." Tig answered, and Happy nodded his head, knowing that he should of expected that. "Think she'll kill me if I go in and see her?" Happy asked, and Tig let out a laugh, "Damn good possibilty, but I think she needs this. She needs answers." Tig stated staring out into the darkess, and Happy nodded and walked up to the front door, and took a deep breath as he entered her home.
Happy saw Chibs, Juice, Piney and Koz sitting around the living room, and they all locked eyes on him, and Juice and Chibs nodded their heads in the direction of the kitchen, and Happy gave him a curt nod and moved towards the direction they pointed out. He heard her beautiful voice as he approached. He knew the pain in her voice, there wasn't much passion behind the sound of the words, just pain, and he was the one to blame. He walked into the door frame, and leaned against it, seeing that her back was to him, and just watched her, and listened.
When you are with me, I'm free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice
I just want to say hello again
I just want to say hello again
When you are with me I'm free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
Cause when you are with me I am free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice, My sacrifice
I just want to say hello again
I just want to say hello again
My sacrifice.
He had prayed every single night that he would be able to hear her voice again, to listen to her sing, and just to see her. He took this time to check her out, the pregnancy did her good. She was back to her normal size, but more toned, and he noticed earlier that her tits were a bit bigger, but she still looked youthful. She was still drop dead gorgeous, and he wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around her and beg for her to forgive him.
"MY son does the same thing." Happy heard her low voice, and it snapped him out of his thoughts, because she wasn't even facing him. "Huh?" Happy was confused, and wasn't sure how she knew he was standing there. He watched as she put the guitar down, and turned around in the chair and faced him. "He watches me, the same way you did.." Ash explained quietly and took a drink of her wine. Happy got a good look at her face, and could tell she had been crying, and he knew the reason. Himself.
Happy wasn't sure what to say, he had gone over a thousand speeches in his head on his way over, and looking at her, he was speechless. "Want a beer?" Asher asked not looking at him. "Yeah, please.." Happy asked gruffly as he made his way towards the kitchen table and Asher got up and walked towards the fridge and dug around for a beer. "Here.." Asher stated and Happy went to grab the beer and his fingers brushed against hers, and she quickly let go.
The two fell in complete silence and Happy couldn't help but to notice she had a man's shirt on her, and the rage was building inside of him, but tried to bottle it up. "I wrote you..." Happy stated lowly as he played with the label on the bottle of beer. "I know." was all she said, and Happy couldn't stand the coldness, even though he deserved it. "That's it? That's all I get?" Happy quipped, and Asher let out a cold laugh. "What am I suppose to say? Oh thanks for taking the time to write me after you destroyed everything I thought we had? That's for making me a single mother? Thanks for letting MY kid think he doesn't have a father?!" Asher was raising her voice, something she had never done. "I did it to protect you." Happy retorted. "PROTECT ME!?" Asher roared and stood up so quick that the chair fell backwards. "PROTECT ME?! The only thing you fucking did was show that you are a fucking coward! That you are a piece of fuckin' shit! You played me like a fucking fool, and I fell for it!" Asher was shouting and Happy knew he deserved it. "I did it to protect you and OUR son!" Happy shouted back, finally having enough of her mumbled names about him. "No! He is MY son! You gave that right up when you said you didn't want EITHER of us! When you could have any crow eater you fucking wanted! I don't give a fuck if Jesus himself walked into this god damn house and praised you for 'protecting us', you will NOT call him 'OUR' son. Fuck, everyone else has been more of a father to him that you are!" Asher shouted and pushed Happy.
"Asher..don't fucking push me again." Happy growled and after about the third push. "Oh what?! You going to fucking man handle me like you did when I was fucking pregnant!?" Asher shouted and pushed him back, hard. "Fucking stop! Just listen to me!" Happy grabbed her arms, and held them to her sides, but she side stepped him and shoulder checked him, and he grabbed her throat and slammed her back against the wall that was near the door way where the men in the living room were watching. Kozik immediately stood up, but Tig stopped him, "This needs to happen. He won't hurt her.." Tig stated in a whisper, and Kozik was fighting with himself, but kept his eyes on Asher's face.
"I couldn't let you have the same fate as Gemma did. That Weston fuck threatened to kill our kid, and then rape you." Happy growled and stared into her eyes. "I didn't mean that shit I said, and it fucking killed me!" Happy shouted and Asher rolled her eyes. "It killed you? Guess what mother fucker, It killed me to give birth to MY son without you there! It killed me to MY son home by MYSELF. It killed me to have his first birthday party by MYSELF! You didn't fucking protect me, or him, you fucking ran, just like your own father. If you were such a badass and such a great killer, you would of had a pair of brass fucking balls and did everything in your power to keep us with you, and keep us safe!" Asher sneered, and Happy was taken back how she was speaking to him that left him speechless for a moment.
"No! mama!" Happy heard the voice of his son, and looked down to see him kicking Happy's leg and then back to Asher, and realized he was holding her throat and immediately let go and backed up.
"It's okay baby, mama's not hurt." Asher said scooping up her son. "It was just a game sweetie. You know how uncle kozzy and uncle Quinn wrestle?" Asher asked and looked to Cash's glared eyes on Happy, but nodded his head. "It was just like that." Asher stated and Cash broke eye contact and looked at her, "Jew otay?" Cash asked and placed his small hand on her cheek, with concern lacing his voice, and she let out a small laugh. "Yeah love, I'm okay, I'm tough." Asher winked. "What are you doing up?" Asher asked her son. "I'm not sleepy, papa gave me cake." Cash explained. Asher groaned, and glared at her father. "Are you serious dad?" She scolded him, and Tig held up his hands in surrender, "I can't say no to him." Tig stated and sat down. "Fine, you're lucky I don't work tomorrow, so go in the living room and sit on the couch." Asher explained and Cash wiggled out of her arms.
Happy watched the little boy wiggle out of Asher's arms, and onto the floor, and looked to the living room and then back to Happy, and did that a few times, and turned to walk towards Happy. He felt like he was looking at a small version of himself as Cash sized him up with the glare he knew too well in his eyes. Happy leaned down to his level and rested his elbows on his knees. Cash made a face that Asher would do where the would crinkle slightly, and the eyebrows crunched together, almost like a volcano was ready to errupt. "Who aw jew?" Cash asked with a scowl on his face and his little arms crossed over his little chest, and his hip cocked to the side tapping his foot.
"He's just a friend of papa's baby, why don't you see Piney?" Asher spoke up, and Happy glared at her. "Otay mama.." Cash turned his attention off of Happy and went to find Piney in the living room.
"I am not ready for him to know, so if you think you are going to come in here and demand shit you got another thing coming. He's two and he trying his hardest to already understand his place in this world, and I refuse to let you do to him what you did to me. It will be over my dad body Lowman." Asher stated.
"I get it. I know how bad I hurt you, and I wish I could take it all back, but PLEASE just let me get to know OUR son. It kills me knowing that he thinks he doesn't have a daddy, and it kills me even more that he asked another man to be his father." Happy stated with tears falling down his cheeks.
"Fine, BUT, When you visit him, it will be here while I am here. If you take him out somewhere, NO CLUBHOUSES, I dont want my son around your fuckin' whores-" Asher started but Happy cut her off.
"I ain't got any. I've not been with anyone since you, well besides my hand." Happy smirked and Asher let out a cold laugh. "Right, Okay. When I think of more rules then I'll let you know." Asher stated and tried to walk away, but Happy stopped her by pulling gently on her arm, away from the door entrance.
Happy pushed her back against the counter, with either of his arms on her sides, blocking her in. "The last 4 months after you left, I locked myself away in the dorm room with a bottle, I hurt you enough with my words, and I wasn't about to hurt you with my actions further. Shit went down, Abel got kidnapped, we went to Belfast to get Abel, It was close to home for me, with Cash, I focused on finding Abel, no crow eaters the entire time. When we got back, we all went straight to jail, and got out a week ago." Happy stared into her eyes and told her the entire truth, and she knew it by the look in his eyes.
"I need to go put Cash to bed." Asher said looking down and Happy leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her and hugged her. Something he had been dying to do since the moment he pushed her away. He buried his nose into the curve of her neck and inhaled her familiar scent. He thought that he'd never have this chance to hug her again, and he couldn't help but to have the tears fall his face. "I'm so sorry..." He kept mumbling over and over again.
Asher couldn't figure out what to do. She wasn't sure to believe him or not. He had never cried in front of her, except for the time she was leaving him when they first found out she was pregnant. She had tried so hard to build a wall around her heart, but with the Tacoma Killer crying on her shoulder, begging for forgiveness made it hard to be cold. "Hap, just sleep in one of the guest rooms, and we will introduce you to Cash as his father tomorrow. But I swear to God, if you break that little boy's heart, I will tell him you died and we will leave and you will never see him or me again. Do you understand?" Asher declared sternly. "I-I won-won't mess this up." Happy cupped Asher's cheeks and was about to lean in and kiss her, but she turned her head, "That doesn't change anything with us though." Asher stated and Happy dropped his hands defeated almost, and watched as she walked into the living room and grabbed a coat, and walked with Kozik outside to smoke. He'd be sure to remember to question Asher about Kozik tomorrow.
Asher was sitting next to Kozik smoking a cigarette, something she only did when she was stressed. "I'm only doing this because it's not fair to have Cash call another man daddy, and I will give him ONE chance not to fuck this up with my son, because Tacoma Killer or not, I will fucking murder him if he breaks that little boys heart. Cash deserves to at least have that chance I didn't have growing up, ya know? A chance to meet the people who created him? I'm just so scared Koz...I'm fucking terrified he will hurt him." Asher explained and Kozik wrapped an arm around her.
"You are a strong woman Asher, and even stronger one for letting him have a chance. If he fucks it up, then that's on him, not you, and not on Cash. Only him. You and Cash have so many people who love you both, and if he does fuck up, I will be there for you and Cash afterwards, just like now. No matter what happens, you both have me, and Quinn, hell, I'm pretty sure Piney wants to marry you, and Juice is in love with Cash. You are covered, now all you have to do is hold your breathe and wait to see which direction he goes." Kozik explained smoking on a cigarette.
"I guess only time will tell huh? And wait until I talk to my dear old daddy.." Asher scoffed almost.
A/N: I want to thank everyone for the reviews! I love hearing your thoughts on the story. A couple of clarifications, Happy has not been with any croweaters - since he wallowed in pity, then through himself into the club, belfast and then jail. - What are your thoughts on this chapter? Do you think Happy will confront Kozik after his son wanted to call him 'daddy'? And anyone wonder how Kozik feels having Happy back since he has been around Asher and Cash for nearly the entire time?
Do you think Asher should go out on a limb and introduce Happy to Cash as his father, since she was put up for adoption and knows what it feels like to have a part of her missing? Do you think it's too soon?
Last but not least... Do you think Asher will confront Gemma and Tara for hardly answering her calls? And what will Asher say to Tig about the huge surprise of the MC showing up at Asher's home?
-Next Chapter = Happy tries to start winning back Asher, Happy confronts Kozik about Asher. Asher spends the day with Gemma and Tara and the kids, and finds out why neither of them answered calls, and finds out how Happy has truly been doing since she left. Asher blows up at Tig, and last but not least, Happy and Asher have a huge fight in front of Samcro, and we will see who sides with who.
