Wow. In the past three months I've: worked full time, took a vacation down south to look at colleges to transfer to, fell for someone on accident, fell in love with a state and its culture, started fall classes again, had to bury all of my emotions, taken my nieces and nephews fishing a few times, read 8 books, got tan, fought with one of my best friends, found God again, and am in the process of getting rid of people who are negative influences on me. Talk about a whirlwind of a summer. But enough about me. Enjoy the chapter.
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything. This is why she is rich and I am just a poor college student struggling to find ways to send myself away from here.
-NeedForChange22
Bella sighed for what felt like the millionth time that afternoon. It was sunny out for the first time in weeks so she was forced to remain indoors until it clouded over again. She had readied herself to go out, poised at the drop of a hat to get out of the apartment. These were the times when she wished that she had Alice's ability to be able to predict just how long she'd have to be bored before being able to go outside.
Alice.
Bella sighed again.
It had been nearly a month since the night that they had shared listening to Queen and enjoying each other's presence. Alice had called a couple of times to keep in touch but she wasn't pressing for contact, which Bella was more than grateful for. And yet there was always that little voice in her head that whispered words of uncertainty to her. Every fear she had about the raven-haired pixie was on repeat in her mind when she wasn't keeping herself occupied.
Her throat was beginning to get that familiar burn. It had been almost two weeks since her last hunt. She surmised it was about time to do so again.
It was during this inner reflection that Bella noticed the living room darkening. Hurriedly she went to the window and pulled the curtains aside to reveal a sliver of opening to see the darkening landscape with promise of rainclouds.
Had she been younger she would have pumped her fist in the air and yelled in excitement. Now that she was older all Bella did was grab her keys, the pack of batteries she had bought earlier in the day, her iPod, and darted out the door at a human's sprint.
Thank the powers that be, she thought in relief. If I had to sit in that apartment for a minute longer I was going to have to start reciting Thomas Aquinas from memory to pass the time.
She slowed down to a jog to keep the suspicious looks away. It wouldn't do well if someone got suspicious of her and followed her to where she was going.
Once she reached the outer city limits she took a glance down the barren road to make sure that she wasn't going to be seen and then she took off.
The forest she arrived at on her first hunting trip was sort of a second home to Bella after the whole debacle with Liz. On her second hunting trip into the forest she had brought along some basic tools and set up a small shack of sorts to hold some knickknacks to make her outings better.
As the shack made its way into her view Bella's excitement grew. She tore the packaging off of the batteries and slid them into their appropriate space in the machine. She plugged her iPod into the auxiliary jack, turned the power on, and pressed 'Play'.
Scheherazade began playing loudly, its strong introduction vibrating between the trees and bouncing off the leaves. Bella sighed again, only this time in contentment. It felt so good to be able to just exist out here; no eyes were watching her, no voices could comment about her cold skin. Here there were only the sounds of the forest living and of whatever music she happened to bring that day, if any.
Her throat was beginning to burn more intensely. She ignored it for the time being. There were no humans around so she was safe to indulge for a little while.
After making sure that her effects were securely hidden from the impending rain, Bella walked a ways away from the shack and lied down on the ground, her back touching the cool earth. She closed her eyes and gave herself entirely to her senses. She could smell the dirt beneath her, feel the wind moving every which way in its indecision, and hear the sounds of the nearby animals moving leisurely. It was such an awesome feeling of being connected to this cycle of life. She let herself lie in that position while the album repeated itself a few times on her iPod.
It began to rain then and Bella breathed in the smell of it deeply. She always loved the rain; she loved the way it washed over everything, gave it new life, and let things start over.
She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she hadn't heard the sound of light footsteps coming toward her until the individual was half a mile away. She bolted upright and her body naturally took on a defensive position, her torso curling in on itself to a crouch.
She waited for the wind to change in her favor and sniffed. The scent that caught her attention shocked her to the point that her jaw slackened. She immediately rose from her stance and stood at full attention.
"What are you doing here?" She said aloud knowing he would hear her.
The man continued walking without answering until he was directly in front of her.
"Hello to you too, Bella." Edward said serenely, a small smile brightening his features.
She nearly huffed in exasperation. "I'll repeat myself since you seem to be hard of hearing today. What are you doing here?"
His eyes swirled in a violent haze but his facial expression remained neutral. "I guess we're skipping the pleasantries."
She just gritted her teeth and ground out her reply. "Forgive me if I'm not exactly welcoming when you invade on my personal time and consequently, my hunting time."
His eyes finally took the time to glance at his surroundings; at the small shack a few feet away that was still blaring classical music.
"I apologize. I hadn't realized that you were out here hunting. When I heard the music I had figured that you were simply enjoying the outdoors and thought it safe to come near."
She had to control the urge to roll her eyes. "Yes, okay. Why are you out here then?"
He began shifting forward and she nearly growled at him out of instinct. Instead she forced her mouth shut and swallowed the growl forming in her throat. It was then that she noticed he was moving to sit on the ground. He gestured for her to take a seat as well and she reluctantly complied.
"I truly am sorry for stopping by unexpectedly."
She waved her hand at him dismissively. "Its fine, Edward. I am really curious as to why you're here since you have yet to directly answer the question."
"How have you been?" He asked suddenly, purposely ignoring her question again.
She narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. "Fine. Getting settled into my place still but fine overall. Why?"
"I'm your husband, Bella. I think I'm allowed to ask how you are since you haven't contacted me in months."
Maybe there was a point for that, she thought. "Ex. Ex-husband, Edward. We aren't together anymore."
He looked away from her. "Things change. You never know when a good conversation could make things different."
"I do know, actually. I like women Edward. No amount of talking will change that. "
"You didn't used to like women. You used to like me. You used to love me. What happened?"
This time it was she who looked away. "We've already discussed this. I'm not having this conversation with you again."
He sighed, his smooth voice shuddering at the end. Had Bella still been questioning her sexuality that broken exhale would have squeezed her heart and made her wrap her arms around him in comfort. Now she just remained still, unsure of what to do.
"I suppose it wouldn't do any good to ask if there's anyone in your life simply trying to be a friend, then?"
Suddenly Bella was panicking. If he already knew she and Alice were…whatever they were at this point…and she lied then he would know and be angry. Making a swift decision she said, "Yes, actually there is."
"Okay… Are you going to tell me about her? Is she from around here?" He seemed dubious due to the lack of conviction in her voice.
She mumbled her reply so softly that even Edward couldn't pick it up. "I'm sorry what was that?"
"It's Alice." She said quietly.
Silence washed over the two and all that could be heard was the classical music playing dramatically in the background. Bella had half a mind to go shut it off if she weren't tense about what her ex-lover's reaction would be to that piece of news.
His face was void of emotion but she once spent hours memorizing his facial expressions. She was waiting for something, anything to tell her how he was handling her admission.
She waited, panic overtaking her normally cool demeanor.
There it was; a tick in his left eye muscle. He was angry.
"Alice." He said, barely constrained malice inadvertently weaving its way into his speech.
"It was Alice? This entire time you've been pining over my SISTER?"
She didn't acknowledge him but he didn't need her to. Violently Edward's body lurched vertically as he stood up. He began pacing heatedly.
"Were you always in love with my sister? Did you ruin her and Jasper's marriage? It was your fault, wasn't it?" Now he was walking at her accusingly. She stood quickly and held her ground.
"Yes, but I didn't realize it until we came back from our marriage counseling. And no, they had their own problems that broke them up. Edward, you need to calm down."
"CALM DOWN. You want me to calm down when I just found out the love of my life left me for women, and ultimately my own sister? Are you two, you know? Together?" He said the last word in disgust and Bella bristled at his tone.
"Yes we're trying but it's none of your business." Her uncertainty didn't go unnoticed and he took the opportunity he was presented with.
"Trying, huh? Alice just can't satisfy you then?" He said smugly.
She did roll her eyes this time. "Yet again none of your business, but I'll tell you she does more for me than any other person I've been with and we haven't had sex yet."
His eyes widened in shock at the not-so-subtle insult. He recovered quickly and was on the offensive again. "So what is then?"
"I told you it's none of your damn business. It's between Alice and I, and last time I checked your name isn't Alice."
He could read her even without his power, though, and that was what he was doing now. He studied her face for a moment and she broke the uncomfortable staring contest.
"You're scared. I can see it. You're terrified. Of what, I wonder?" He seemed to be honestly contemplating the options. She nervously went to the stereo that was still belting out music from her iPod on the dock and turned it off.
"Are you scared of getting hurt or of being the one doing the hurting?" He said almost to himself but her head whipped around at him with such speed at the former part that he knew he had his answer…and laughed.
"You're actually scared of getting hurt? What about those you hurt? What about me?" Before Bella could even respond he continued on. "Never mind that. Let's focus on you."
"You should be scared. Alice has a hard time holding onto things, what with her abandonment issues and all from her human life." He said casually. "Every time she befriended someone we met along our journeys she always cut off ties with them sporadically. She could never hold anything but Jasper down, and we all know how that ended."
Bella was shaking her head as if to rid herself of what she was hearing. Every fear she had ever had about her relationship with the pixie was being broadcasted to her right now in the middle of her sanctuary.
She brought her finger and thumb to massage her temples. "Shut up Edward. Get the hell out of here. You're not welcome here anymore."
He looked at her forlornly. "Don't say I didn't warn you. You're going to get hurt and it's going to be excruciatingly painful." His eyes finished the statement that he didn't want to say. …like you did to me.
The hand at her side balled into a fist. If he didn't leave soon she was going to do something she would regret. Her insecurities were getting the best of her and she needed to get out of here.
"Last chance to walk away Edward." Her voice wasn't as steady as she wished it would be.
"Fine." He said curtly and turned to leave. "It was nice chatting with you Bella, as always."
His footsteps echoed off of the trees. She stood in place for a moment before grabbing her keys from the shack and heading home. She knew what had to be done. It was purely an act of self-preservation.
The sprint home was quick until she reached the city, whereupon she had to slow down. The second she was in her door she found her cell phone and dialed Alice's number.
It didn't even ring twice before the angel on the other end picked up.
The object of her affection didn't even greet her before beginning to talk.
"Don't do this Bella…" Alice pleaded. Her voice was wavering with the emotion behind it.
"I-I can't, Alice. I'm sorry. I just can't do this." Her heart was breaking but she knew that this was for the best. There was no way that Alice could reciprocate her feelings. Bella knew she couldn't feel those things to the depth that she was herself. It was best to just cut all ties with her now rather than get even further involved.
"Bella, you're making a mistake. Please just hear me out."
"I can't, Alice. He was right, I wouldn't be able to handle the pain that will eventually come."
Alice already knew whom Bella was talking about but had to ask it anyway.
"Who? Who was right?"
Bella's voice dropped lower. "Edward."
Alice's anxiety at losing her lover had been pushed to the wayside and anger had filled her to the brim at his name being spoken aloud.
When Alice didn't say anything Bella continued. "I'm so sorry, Alice. I hope you'll forgive me one day. Goodbye."
Alice was seething, positively radiating fury. She was going to find Edward.
And when she found him?
She was going to rip him to pieces. Slowly.
Then she was going to convince Bella that they were destined to be together, no matter what it took.
