CHAPTER IX
Courage

Morgana was ecstatic to hear that Morgause wanted some time alone with her, so when Gwen suggested that she spill wine on herself as an excuse to get away, Morgana was more than happy to oblige. A part of her did hope that Gwen could get the stain out later though; she wasn't lying when she said this was her favorite dress. But even as she thought it, Morgana knew that even if she couldn't, the few moments she could spend alone with Morgause on her birthday would be well worth it. It was all she had wanted from this day anyway.

Her grip tightening on Morgause's hand, Morgana smiled at her as she led her into her bed chambers. If she wanted privacy with the blonde, there was no better place; it was unlikely that someone would come idly wandering into her room, after all. Once she had closed the door behind them, Morgana lightly chewed on her bottom lip. For how badly she had wanted this, she felt like there was now this enormous pressure on her to use these stolen moments to her advantage. Morgana was unsure of how to proceed.

"Gwen said you wished to see me privately?" she asked after a few second's hesitation. Morgana inwardly chastised herself, knowing that if she wished to push her relationship with Morgause to the next level then beating around the bush was no way to do it. But Morgana had never courted anyone before and was nervous.

She had come to the conclusion not long after that horrible dream that she didn't want to live her life without knowing what it was like to be with Morgause. It was a risky decision to have made, but Morgana could not imagine keeping her feelings inside of her any longer. If the dream taught her anything, it was that things could change in an instant. Morgana didn't want to live with any regrets.

She wanted Morgause desperately, but the problem was that she didn't know how to tell her. The words stuck in her throat from fear and Morgana hated herself for not being courageous enough to push past it.

"I wanted to give you your birthday gift," Morgause told her, a small smile on the edge of her lips as she bent down. Morgana furrowed her eyebrows, wondering where Morgause could have hidden a gift in such a tight fitting dress, but she quickly got her answer. Morgause slid the hem of her gown up her leg and Morgana couldn't help but stare, taking note of every curve should she never be able to see it again.

At the rate she was going, she wouldn't be surprised if she died alone.

Morgana's breathing shallowed as Morgause exposed her thigh. Though she was probably not intending it to be, Morgana found the movement to be the singular most erotic thing she had ever witnessed. What made it even better was the leather band around her right thigh that holstered the most beautiful of daggers. Morgana's mouth dropped open as Morgause slid it from its home and held it out for her.

"For you, my Lady."

"You made this?" Morgana asked, awestruck as she took the dagger from Morgause's hand. The hilt was made of silver with the most intricate of carvings. It must have taken so much work to complete in such a short amount of time. Morgana was moved by the gesture and she whispered, "Oh, Morgause… it's beautiful." She looked up at her, smiling so much that her cheeks began to hurt. But she didn't care, because the smile that was returned made her weak at the knees.

"Happy birthday, Morgana."

Overwhelmed by the gift, Morgana took a step towards her. Without hesitation she drew her into her arms, holding her tightly. "Thank you," she whispered in her ear. Her lips found Morgause's cheek and she pressed a lingering kiss against her ivory skin, wishing she were bold enough to find the blonde's mouth with her own.

Morgana closed her eyes as she held her, just enjoying the feeling of the other woman against her. She loved moments like these and Morgana wished to indulge in it as long as possible. Morgause's grip around her waist tightened, drawing Morgana even nearer to her and the Ward's heart leapt into her throat. Was that a sign? Should she kiss her? This would be so much easier if Morgause would just make the first move, but something inside of Morgana told her that she was afraid to. She didn't know why; wasn't she giving her all the signals that she needed to proceed? It was absolutely maddening, not knowing what she should do.

But before Morgana could come to a conclusion she was happy with, Morgause slowly drew away from her. "Perhaps you should get changed," she suggested softly. The disappointment weighed heavy in Morgana's stomach; she should have done something. Now the moment was over.

"Right, of… of course," she stumbled, turning her back towards Morgause. She didn't want her to see how flustered she was beginning to get. Exhaling a heavy breath, Morgana silently told herself to get a grip; becoming a bumbling idiot wouldn't get her far either. She wished she knew how to be enticing, so that she could perhaps tease Morgause incessantly until she gave in, but Morgana didn't have the first clue about how to be a temptress.

Crossing the room, Morgana stood in front of her wardrobe. She riffled through her gowns for a moment before she realized she could probably use this to her advantage as well, should she be courageous enough to try. It was bold though, much too bold for any Lady of the court. She was expected to uphold proper behavior and well, her thought was anything but. Morgana felt as though she were desperate to get Morgause's attention though, to make such a statement that it could not go unnoticed, and so her heart began to beat heavily in her chest as she untied the laces that bound her dress.

Morgana wished her hands were not shaking from nerves, as this would probably be much more arousing should she have the confidence to do it without a second thought. It helped a little that her back was turned to Morgause, for when her dress pooled around her feet and her shift was exposed to her eyes the Ward blushed furiously. The dressing screen was right next to her, so it should have been more than obvious that Morgana wanted her to see. The problem was, now that she did it, she was so embarrassed that it might not be well received that she was afraid to turn around.

"Help me pick out a gown?" she tried to suggest lightly, however the slight tremor in her voice gave her away. Morgana closed her eyes, feeling like this may have been a foolish decision to make. Morgause hadn't said a word yet and it was driving her to madness.

But then she could feel the woman behind her. Morgause was still silent but Morgana could hear how pronounced her breathing had become and it made the pit of the Ward's stomach flutter nervously. She wasn't touching her, yet the heat between them was undeniable. Morgana had to bite down on her bottom lip to keep from making a sound as Morgause leaned into her, pressing her breasts against her back as she reached forward to lightly finger the silken material in the wardrobe.

"This one," she said, her voice so low that it had become almost husky. "You'd look beautiful in this one…" Morgause's other hand had rested on her hip and Morgana felt as though she may pass out from the feeling of the other woman against her when she was in such a state of undress. An arousal like she had never known coursed through her, dampening the apex between her thighs.

Not wanting the feeling to stop, Morgana tried to prolong the moment. "I… I'm not sure," she replied softly, voice trembling softly as reached out to show Morgause another gown. "I think that I… that I may want this one…"

Morgause said nothing. It was as though she were having a hard time speaking as well and Morgana's hand fell from the dress, covering the one that lay on her hip. She closed her eyes, silently telling herself to not let this moment pass before she laced their fingers together, dragging Morgause's hand over the taut muscles in her stomach. The small sound that Morgause made in the back of her throat made Morgana lightheaded and she rested all of her weight against her chest, her fingers tightening their grip on the blonde's hand as she moved it upwards, allowing it to rest just beneath the curvature of her breasts. She didn't have the courage to guide Morgause to touch her in the way she desperately wanted, but it seemed it did not matter.

Suddenly lips where on the back of her neck and Morgana whimpered softly in approval. "Please…" she begged, her voice no more than a broken whisper filled with wanton desire. She couldn't hold it in any longer. She needed Morgause like she needed air to breathe; she felt as though she may die without her. "I've dreamt of your touch for so long…"

Morgause's breathing was beginning to labor, sending waves of arousal coursing through the Ward's body. She kissed her again, just beneath her ear. Morgana could feel her tongue on her skin and she made a rather embarrassing sound as she felt like she was melting into her. "We shouldn't," Morgause told her softly, yet made no move to draw away from her. If anything, it seemed if she got impossibly closer.

"Yet you want to?" Morgana questioned breathlessly, knowing it was probably a stupid thing to ask whist Morgause's lips found her skin once more. But she needed to know, she needed to hear it. If she did, she knew she would find the courage inside of her to turn around.

Morgause paused, but not for long. "Yes," she admitted, sounding as though her conscious was finally defeated by her desire. Morgana's heart pounded in her chest at those words and she finally allowed her lust to overtake her sanity.

"Then that's all that matters to me," she whispered passionately, finally guiding Morgause's hand further upwards, sliding it over her breast. It was the blonde's hand that palmed it desperately though, eliciting a deep moan from Morgana's lips. She felt like she was falling and it felt so good that she knew she never wanted to stop.

Suddenly she was spun around, her back colliding with the door of the wardrobe. Morgause pressed her body into hers, looking her deep in the eyes. Morgana's nipple strained against her touch and she gasped, pushing her hips into her thigh to try to get some friction. She could feel Morgause's breath against her lips and she whimpered, desperately wishing that she would kiss her. "Please," she begged once more, thoroughly feeling as though she may collapse should Morgause not give her what she wanted.

Morgause cupped her cheek with her hand, her chest heaving with desire as she pressed herself more firmly against her body. "You are more perfect than I could have ever dreamed, Morgana," she whispered, her words tickling her skin before she leaned in, finally pressing her lips to hers. Morgana's mouth opened invitingly, allowing Morgause to swallow her moan as their tongues entwined. She grasped at her dress, feeling as though she were drowning but not caring in the slightest.

For if this was how she was going to die, Morgana would surely welcome it with open arms.

[x]

Morgause knew what she was doing was wrong. She knew it also wasn't fair to Morgana. But she couldn't help herself any longer; how could anyone sane say no to what Morgana was offering? Morgause had always prided herself on her willpower, but her sister practically begging to be taken was too much for her to handle. Her loins ached with a desire she had never felt before and it consumed her whole, burning her up from the inside out. Morgause felt as though she had been waiting for this moment all her life and she would have been a fool to decline it when all she had ever wanted was to taste Morgana's skin.

She kissed her passionately, dragging her fingernails up her sister's thigh. Morgana shuddered beneath her, wrapping her arms around her neck as she whimpered against her lips. Her body was hot with desire and as Morgause dragged her lips downwards to suck gently on the base of her neck, Morgana's eyes glassed over and she began to emit sounds that struck something primal deep in Morgause's core. She bit down.

Morgana gasped in pleasure, her fingernails digging into her skin. The feeling seemed to give her sister more confidence, for she grabbed Morgause's chin in her hand and pulled her face upwards, brutally colliding their lips together as she began to guide her backwards. Morgause's knees hit the edge of Morgana's bed and she fell backwards, holding tight to Morgana's shift so she fell with her. They laid there for a moment, one on top of the other, breathing labored as they stared into each other's eyes.

The world seemed to grind to a halt around them, for all Morgause could see was her sister. Her cheeks were flushed, her pupils dilated, and she was by far the most magnificent creature she had ever had the pleasure of laying eyes upon.

"I want…" she tried, but the words seemed to stick in her throat. Morgana bit her lower lip and let her fingers trail down Morgause's arm, bringing the strap of her dress with her. For being so bold before, now she looked shy. Morgause's insides clenched, realizing that Morgana wished to undress her. That was too much, even for her. She had never been with another person and she knew Morgana hadn't either, and despite how badly she wanted to, Morgause knew that right now was not the moment when they would share that pleasure.

"We don't have time," Morgause told her regrettably, even though a part of her was glad for it. This was going much faster than she was prepared for, and by the look on Morgana's face she felt the same way.

It was hard though, to have so much desire and not know how to proceed with it. It was driving Morgause mad, but she had to be rational; they had come in here for Morgana to change clothes. If they stayed long enough to do what they wanted to do, their absence would be noticed. And if anyone should come looking and see them in such a compromising position, it could be their undoing. Outside of Gwen, no one in Camelot would condone what they felt for one another.

Morgana pursed her lips, her eyes downcast as she nodded. She looked as though she felt foolish for even suggesting it. Not wanting Morgana to come to the wrong conclusion, Morgause reached up and tentatively stroked her cheek. "Please believe that it is not because I don't want to," she said softly, running her thumb over her sister's bottom lip. "I would move the heavens themselves just to be allotted a single moment of your flesh against mine."

Morgana's breathing shallowed and she turned her face, kissing Morgause's palm. She closed her eyes, whispering against her skin, "I never thought I would feel this way for another. It's consuming me. Please tell me that it's the same for you…" Her expression turned a bit fearful as she realized that she had opened a door that she was unsure about what lay on the other side. But Morgause knew her sister had nothing to fear, so she rose up and captured her lips with hers once more.

"You complete me, Morgana," she breathed as she ran her fingers through her hair, overwhelmed by the emotion her sister could elicit from her heart. "I cannot bear the thought of living my life without you." Morgana's smile was radiant, making her more impossibly beautiful than she already was.

Morgause stroked her cheek delicately before kissing her once more, allowing Morgana to fall into her against the sheets. They grasped for one another, unable to keep their hands to themselves now that they found themselves intertwined. Morgause knew that they should stop, that they should get back to the party, but as Morgana kissed down her collarbone all sanity left her mind. She whispered her sister's name into the stillness of the night, letting out a soft groan once Morgana began to explore her body with her hands. Even though it was over her dress, Morgana's touch still made Morgause's body feel like it was on fire. She tangled her fingers in her dark tresses and closed her eyes as she arched her body into her.

Knowing she needed to get control of the situation, Morgause quickly rolled her sister over, switching their positions so that she might feel less at her mercy. But as she looked down at Morgana, watching her chest rise and fall rapidly with desire, Morgause knew she would always be at her mercy no matter who had the dominant position. She kissed her fiercely, slipping her thigh in between her legs. This, indecently, did not help matters in the slightest. Morgause had forgotten that her sister was wearing nothing but a shift and she found out very quickly that the apex of Morgana's thighs was practically swimming in her arousal. They both groaned, pushing into one another.

Morgana was practically panting beneath her and Morgause had to still her movements to get a grip on reality. She rested her forehead against her sister's as she closed her eyes, yet still did not move her thigh. The feeling of Morgana's desire was too sweet to pull away from just yet. Still, she tried to be rational. "We can't do this," she gasped, hating every word that was falling from her lips. "We've been gone too long."

"It doesn't matter," Morgana breathed passionately before leaning upwards, trying to capture her lips once more. Morgause hated that she had to, but she turned her face away from her. One of them needed to be competent enough to stop this.

"It does. You know it does," Morgause whispered apologetically, looking down at the stunning beauty beneath her, wishing she never had to leave her bed. "Someone will come looking. If we're found like this…" Morgana chewed on her bottom lip, looking terribly disappointed by reality. Morgause knew exactly how she felt. "I'm so sorry, love," she apologized, tracing her sister's jaw with her fingertips. "But there is always tomorrow. I'll spend all day with you, if you'd like."

"Yeah?" Morgana asked softly, a shy smile forming on her lips. Morgause nodded, looking at her with all the love in the world.

"Of course. There's…" Morgause hesitated for a moment, but knew she needed to finally tell Morgana the truth so she finished her sentence. "There's something important I need to speak with you about anyway." She was surprised that she hadn't had to clean up any of Morgana's magickal messes yet, but maybe her powers manifested in a different way than hers did when she was young. Or perhaps it was just that nothing had brought Morgana to an emotional climax yet; that was, after all, when most young sorceresses lose control over their abilities.

Morgana furrowed her eyebrows at her words, but she did not have a chance to respond. The door to her bedchambers opened suddenly and the two sisters flew away from each other, panicked. Morgana clutched the sheets to her chest to protect her modesty as they both turned towards the door, setting their eyes on Gwen whose own had gone as large as saucers at what she had walked in on.

"Oh god, I am so sorry!" she squeaked in embarrassment, covering her face and averting her eyes from the scene in front of her. Gwen shut the door in a hurry though, frantic over what she came here to tell them. "The King is coming," she told them, worried that the two of them being found in such a predicament. "Get dressed, now!"

Both of them scrambled out of bed, nearly tripping over themselves in their haste to look presentable. But as Morgana was getting herself dressed into another gown, Gwen quickly took Morgause's arm and pulled her to her. "You need to leave," she told her seriously, fear swimming behind her onyx eyes. "I don't know why, but it's you the King is looking for, not Morgana."

Morgause's stomach dropped to the floor.

"Me?"

How could the King have found out about her? She hadn't led Arthur to believe anything was off in their conversation, had she? She thought she was being careful! Fear was gripping her chest and she looked back at Morgana, who had stopped moving completely, looking as though she may faint. Whether Uther was looking for her because he somehow found out she was a sorceress or that she was Morgana's lover, neither scenario ended happily.

"Go!" Gwen shouted at her, tugging at her friend's arm. Morgause forced herself back to reality and quickly headed towards the door, but it was too late. It was slammed open, the wood clattering against the stone wall so loudly that all three girls stumbled backwards in fear. The King strode into the room, followed by two guards.

"Detain that woman!" he ordered, and before Morgause knew what was happening, the guards had grabbed both of her arms, their vice grip causing her skin to bruise. It took every amount of self-control she had in her not to blow them both backwards; revealing her magick right now would only make things worse until she knew her crime. Although she was frightened, she mustered up all the courage she had inside of her so it would not show on her face… or in her abilities.

"On what charges?!" Morgana shrieked, fearful for the woman she cared most for in this world. She ran to stand in front of Morgause protectively, holding out her arms as though to shield her from Uther's wrath. "She's done nothing; let her go!"

"She is wanted for questioning," Uther told her, although seemed displeased about having to explain his actions to his Ward. "Now move, Morgana; this does not concern you!"

"If you want to question her than do so, just don't treat her like a criminal!"

Uther ignored Morgana's pleas. "Take her to the dungeons," he ordered his guards. They began to drag her out of the room and Morgana tried to run to her, but was stopped by Uther before she could get past the threshold. She cried out for her, fighting against Uther's grip as the door shut behind them.

Morgause felt sick as she allowed the guards to pull her away, for she knew that if it came down to it, she would have to escape Camelot without Morgana to save her own life. She promised her sister that she would never leave her. Morgause wanted to be by her side forever; teach her, take care of her, love her.

It nearly shattered her heart to realize that she may no longer have a choice in the matter.

TBC…