TRTS1: The Trek of Ranma Who! – By DS Wynne
Disclaimer: "SM", "R1/2", "ST", "DW" and other genres belong to their respective owners.
Note: This is a multi-genre story.
Part 9: "Partners in Crime"
On this day, the Doctor arrives at the footsteps of "Adipose Industries", where he was to meet up with Ranma, while Jackie took care of some "family business" in modern-day London. The Doctor would have scoffed at the idea, until Ranma showed him a product that the Mishma Zaibatsu had been co-sponsoring for distribution in the Far East markets. Normally, Ranma wouldn't care, but if Heihachi Mishima—his so-called business partner—was enthused about the partnership between Mishima and Adipsose, then something was up. Thus, as "Lord Ranshin Ranstu", Ranma was invited to an in-house seminar and press meeting with corporate head "Miss Foster". And using those connections allowed Ranma to invite the Doctor along.
"Hey," the Doctor says, as he finds his seat next to Ranma at the company auditorium.
"Hey," Ranma says, as he continued to take notes.
The Doctor was about to say something else, until he took one good look at Ranma.
"What are doing dressed like some business man?" the Doctor says. "And what's with the glasses?"
"It's a DISGUISE, Doc," Ranma says quietly.
"Wow…you certainly got yourself cleaned up-"
"Excuse me, gentlemen?" says Miss Foster (blond, clipped and classically British) from her podium. "Am I interrupting something?"
"No, sorry," the Doctor says, while waving. "Just trying to catch up on all the information. You know…I just got here, and all."
"Ah. The DO be seated…quietly."
"Of course," the Doctor says, as Ranma rolls his eyes…
After the press room meeting, the Doctor and Ranma separate. Ranma attends a conference meeting concerning sales in the Far East with Miss Foster, while the Doctor conducts his investigation. Unknown to the both of them, a third person was investigating the situation…
"Lord Ranstu, I am honored that you could come all the way to London for the…presentation," Miss Foster says, as she shared tea with Ranma. "I know that your business partner was quite interested in distributing our product."
"Yes, well, I'm still not convinced that this is NOT some fad," Ranma says. "However, from the preliminary reports, the rate of weight-loss is…interesting."
"How so?"
"None of the preliminary data indicates that the test subjects performed any sort of exercise to supplement the pills."
"Is that a problem?"
"Well…I'm a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to getting in shape."
Miss Foster smiled subtly, as her eyes casually roams Ranma's form.
"And you have an excellent form at that," Miss Foster says.
"Um, well, I'm just not convinced that I can approve the partnership between Mishima and your company."
"I see…"
Casually, Miss Foster undoes her hair bun. She then takes off her glasses while unbuttoning her the top part of her blouse. She then presses two buttons on her desk: one to lock the door, and the other to activate the intercom to the secretary's office.
BZZZZ!
"Yes, Miss Foster?" came the reply.
"Hold all calls, and cancel all meetings for the next few hours," Foster says. "I will be busy trying to convince our…partner of the soundness of the Adiopse-Mishima merger."
"Understood, ma'am."
Ranma could only sweat profusely.
"…"
Later, the next night…
"So, Miss Foster is an alien?" the Doctor says, he and the Doctor sneak about the corridor of Adipose Industries.
"Um, I had a long, afternoon meeting with Miss Foster," Ranma says nervously. "And she didn't feel…human to me."
The Doctor suddenly stops for a minute, and then turns to look at his companion.
"What do you mean…'feel'?"
"She doesn't feel human."
"Wait a minute," the Doctor says, as he takes out his pocket scanner, and scans Ranma.
"Just what I thought," the Doctor says. "You have DNA residue…particularly down there."
"So?"
"So what am I? Your pimp or something?"
"Look, you investigate the situation YOUR way, I'll do it MY way."
"Huh, you've been 'doing it' YOUR way ever since I've known you."
"Let's just get on with stopping Miss Foster's plot, okay?"
Using a bit of hidden persuasion and mental tricks, Ranma learned that "Miss Foster" was really an intergalactic foster mother that was contracted to create new life by using the excess fat of the innocent, by way of bogus diet pills. Now, it was up to the Doctor and Ranma to shut down the operation as quickly and as quietly as possible.
With that in mind, the Doctor and Ranma climbed to the roof of the Adipose building, and, while using a scaffold, lowered themselves to where Miss Foster's office was located.
"Okay," Ranma says, as he sets his RAZR phone on "sensitive mode". "We collect evidence, then let Torchwood or UNIT handle the rest."
"I'm sure you could give one of them a sample as evidence," the Doctor says with a smirked.
"Yeah, whatever. You're jealous that you got no game."
"What I got is commonsense. You don't know what disease Miss Foster has."
"I can tell if she did," Ranma says.
Silence.
"By the way, how's Rose?"
"She's fine…I suppose. She and Mickey aren't dating these days, ever since she assumed field-leader status of 'Torchwood One'."
"I assumed the Queen would have shut them down."
"Actually, I kind of convinced her to keep it open, though I did request that there should be greater oversight."
"But why?"
"Well…I kind of felt sorry for Yvonne Hartman for what happened."
"But she was the cause of the 'Battle of Canary Warf'!"
"I KNOW, but when I saw her as a low-level, pencil pusher bureaucrat at UNIT…well, it was a sad moment indeed. So, I convinced the Queen to reopen Torchwood One at my house-"
"The one with the 'angels' still in the basement?"
"Yep, among other strange…things that lurks about in those walls. But anyway, Torchwood One is located at my house now, and Yvonne is back as the director of the entire institute."
"With oversight?"
"Yes, with oversight."
"Fine, but SHE is your responsibility."
"Sure…whatever. Wait, I think I'm picking up something…"
The Doctor and Ranma overhears Miss Foster speaking of the pills—in capsule form—as larvae for the new life form, while speaking to a nosy reporter. However, another person had arrived on the scene…
"I think they just mentioned the Adipose being a lifeform made from human fat," Ranma says, as he continues to record the scene.
The Doctor decides to take a better look at the situation, and spots-
"Donna?"
Ranma looks up from his surveillance.
"Donna…what?" Ranma says, as he continues his work.
The Doctor pulls Ranma up and shows Ranma what was going on.
"What the heck is that woman doing here?" Ranma says with a slight annoyance.
"I don't know-"
Donna Noble had crossed paths shortly after the Battle of Canary Warf, while making sure that the realities of Earth-50 ("The Age of Steel" world) and Earth-0 (the present Earth) were "patched". And since then, Ranma prayed to whatever deity out there to make sure that he never runs across that woman ever again.
Then again, Ranma has annoyed the gods before, so…
"Um, Doc," Ranma says, as he notices something while tugging the Doctor's jacket.
"What?" the Doctor says with annoyance.
Ranma points to Miss Foster, who obviously notices the Doctor, Ranma and Donna.
"Fancy seeing you here again, Lord Ranshin," Miss Foster says with a smirk. "And it looks like you brought company."
"Let's get out of here," the Doctor says, as he activates the scaffold mechanism, while indicating to Donna the need to go to the roof.
"Yeah, I bet," says Ranma. "But…at least I have the evidence to shut this place down…"
Donna meets Ranma and the Doctor on the roof.
"Doctor-"
"Stand back," the Doctor days, as he uses his sonic screwdriver to lock the doors.
SKREEE!
CLICK!
"Doctor, I should have took up your offer of traveling the cosmos," Donna says. "You've changed my life."
"Um, yes, I suppose-"
SKREEE!
BAM!
Miss Foster and her armed henchmen step unto the roof.
"I'm sorry that we could not have continued our…relationship, Lord Ranshin," Foster says.
"Yeah, well…"
"So, 'Miss Foster', what is your real name?" The Doctor asks warily. "Consider that what you are doing is in violation of the 'Shadow Proclamation', it's nice to know your name."
"Ah, very good," Foster says. "I am Cofelia, matron of the 'Five-Straighten Classabindi Nursery Fleet'."
"And you are doing this because…?" Donna asked.
"The Adiposian First Family lost their breeding planet, so I was contracted to make up the difference."
"With human fat?" the Doctor says.
"But of course. This world has plenty of that to go around. Unfortunately, it looks like I will have to close up shop a tad early."
As if on cue, screams could be heard throughout the city.
"What the bloody hell?" Donna yells.
"My god," Ranma says. "You're going to kill a million people to finish out your contract."
"Of course…not that you or your friends can do about it."
CHK!
The guards aim at the Doctor, Ranma and Donna.
"Good-bye, you three," Miss Foster says, as she nods her head.
RATATATATATATATATAT-!
"Ah!" Donna screamed, as she braced for the bullets. However, she felt nothing.
"What-?"
Donna sees Ranma raising his palms, stopping the bullets in their proverbial tracks.
"No," Ranma says calmly.
Miss Foster's eyes widened, as Ranma plucks the suspended rounds from the air.
"You shouldn't have done that."
Using his other hand, Ranma flicks the henchmen into the wall, knocking them unconscious.
"Oh, dear," Miss Foster says.
"Doc-"
"I know," the Doctor says, as he pulls Donna with him.
"What-?"
"I might need help shutting down the machine that will cause the Adipose spores to be born."
"Oh, okay," says Donna, as she and the Doctor run back into building.
After they left, Ranma casually removes a stunned Miss Foster of her sonic pen.
"I don't think you'll need this where YOU are going," Ranma says.
"I suppose not," Foster says.
Silence.
"Um, since I'm finished, do you think we can, you know-"
"Wait, you want to have relations, after having your operations blown?"
"Well…I do want to have a bit more taste of freedom before I loose it."
Ranma raises an eyebrow.
After the Doctor and Donna manages to shut down the machine that activated the creation of the Adipose "children", they return to the roof to see the Adipose mother ship retrieve their children.
"It's hard to believe that all that…is fat," Donna says.
"Yeah," the Doctor says. He then looks around, until he sees an amazing sight.
"…"
"What is it?" Donna says, as she looks around, until-
"Oh, my god!" Donna says, as she quickly diverts her eyes.
"Do you mind?" Foster says with annoyance.
"Yeah, we're in the middle of something here," Ranma replied.
Ranma and Foster were using the scaffold as a hideaway for their intimacy. Unfornately for the Doctor and Donna, it was not intimate enough.
A short time later…
"We'll be sure that she is protected," Rose says, as Foster was taken away into custody. "And tell…the Doctor I said hello."
"Sure thing, hon," Ranma says, as he hugged his daughter. Rose and her mother Jackie were eating out when the Adipose mother ship had arrived, thus, it was easy to shut down Adipose Industries without too much of a fuss.
"And don't work too hard," Jackie says, as she hugged Rose as well.
And with that, Rose waves off before getting into an unmarked van…and fading away into the shadows.
"Well, that's that," Ranma says, as he and Jackie walk back to the TARDIS.
"So, how was she?"
"How was who?"
"That woman you had 'relations' with…twice. My senses are very sharp, you know."
"Um…"
"We'll discuss that in bed later. But…anything ELSE happened?"
"Oh, we have a new passenger," Ranma says. "Her name is 'Donna Noble'."
"The one whom you and the Doctor accidentally picked up?"
"That's the one."
"Huh. Well, as long as she stays out of YOUR pants, I can deal with it."
"…"
Tbc.
Next time: "Revenge of the Slitheen".
