"I got you a gift." He set a long Kleenex-sized box on the countertop.
Kensi read the side of the box. "Exam gloves. Do I want to know what you're planning here?" she asked guardedly.
Deeks only grinned at all the unvoiced implications. "I just didn't think you'd want to do this one bare-handed."
"It's meatloaf," Kensi reminded him. "You mix the meat and stuff together with a spoon. Right?"
He gave his throat a stage-clearing. "Not exactly."
Oh, god…this was going to be 'hands-on' again. Like the eggs separating slowly through her fingers.
Only, this was going to be raw meat. Slimy ground-up bits of icky-looking raw meat.
Cue the gag reflex.
Kensi was not a queasy-stomached girl. She wasn't afraid of meat. In fact, she loved a good steak when it was cooked properly.
The keyword being cooked. Raw meat and cooked meat were two entirely different things.
Cooked meat she would enjoy thoroughly. Raw meat she didn't even want to touch with a ten-foot pole.
Thank god for her partner's foresight in providing a suitable barrier between her hands and uncooked cow.
Almost wishing she could change the menu for tonight, Kensi stabbed a finger into the perforated diamond of cardboard on the top of the box and reluctantly peeled it up.
The gloves inside were black. Just exactly like the kind they wore on the job.
"You stole these from work, didn't you?"
"Only the best for my partner," Deeks confirmed unashamedly, grabbing a pair for his own hands. "Just don't rat me out to Hetty, or I'll tell her about that silk blouse you ruined."
Kensi sent him a lofty glance. "I'll have you know that my dry cleaner got every spot of latte off of that blouse. Hetty will never know about that."
Deeks gave her a look to let her know he was serious about Hetty also never finding out about his absconding with the whole box of gloves. The good kind weren't exactly cheap.
"My lips are sealed," she promised, picking two gloves for herself from the compressed block within. "Except I'll never look at these quite the same way again."
"Oh, the memories these gloves will dredge up now," Deeks couldn't help getting a good dig in as he slipped his gloves on. "Beef in your hands…cold…firm…raw — "
"Oh, my god — stop!" Kensi pleaded with a shudder, grossed out enough as it was.
Deeks snapped the cuff of one glove, grinning widely…delighted to make her squirm like that.
He set out the ingredients and utensils they needed to make their meatloaf and started in with the lesson.
"First we crack an egg into the bowl."
"I don't have to separate it too, do I?" Kensi asked, picking up the lone egg and cracking it.
"Nope."
"Good…cause that was really nasty the last time."
"The nasty part is yet to come," Deeks reminded her. "Hence the gloves."
He sprinkled a handful of breadcrumbs over the egg and added half a packet of his favorite seasoning.
And then he dropped in a pound of ground beef. "Dig in," he said with a cheerful smile, pushing the bowl closer to Kensi and hopping up onto the counter to sit and watch.
Kensi gave an exaggerated whimper, as if this was just asking way too much of her.
She hesitated a long moment, finally putting both gloved hands gingerly into the unappealing items in the bowl.
"It's cold," she complained in a tone that admittedly sounded a little too much like her partner's.
"I'm sorry — I should've kept it in the cupboard instead of the fridge," Deeks quipped sarcastically.
Kensi poked halfheartedly at the glob of meat and seasonings. "This may be the very thing that forces me to go vegetarian."
"I don't think anything could make you go vegetarian."
"This just might," she persisted, working slowly and ruefully.
As much as he loved to see his partner off her game and petulant, Deeks could never make her suffer for very long.
He slid off the countertop and stepped up behind her. "Alright, lemme at it."
"No, no," Kensi reneged stubbornly. "I can do it." It might be the death of her, but she'd do it.
But Deeks put his hands into the bowl with hers anyway. "Traditionally," he said softly into her ear. "It takes two to 'do it'."
Forget the meatloaf — her own partner was going to be the death of her! With his arms stretched around her once again, she swore she could almost feel every distinct muscle in his solid chest and stomach as it pressed lightly into her back.
And his never-ending innuendo.
Kensi kept herself from spouting some innuendo of her own — a joke about Deeks preferring threesomes was just on the tip of her tongue — and removed her fingers from the bowl as her partner's hands proceeded to fold the ingredients together.
This was quickly becoming a habit with him — trapping her against the counter with his arms surrounding her.
Not that she was complaining about it.
Casually she removed one of her gloves, reached that arm backward, and slipped it between her back and Deeks' stomach.
He sucked in a breath at the sudden contact and his hands faltered in the bowl.
"Sorry," Kensi said sweetly. Innocently. Deviously. "Just scratching an itch."
"No problem," Deeks allowed, resuming the meatloaf-mixing.
"Except I can't quite reach it," Kensi continued, moving her hand upward.
"Need some help?" Deeks offered through an amused grin. He knew what she was up to. Scratching an 'itch'…yeah, right.
"Actually, if you could just hold still — " Her hand slid away and she leaned against him, deliberately flexing her upper back so it rubbed against his chest. "Mmmm…yeah, that'll do it."
It took him some effort to keep from laughing out loud. "You good?"
"I'm good," she confirmed lightly. "You good?"
"Good. I'm…good." He was so done mixing this stupid meatloaf.
Deeks gave it one more forceful fold-over for good measure, then stripped off his gloves and dropped them on the counter.
"Let it rest a minute or so," he voiced. Letting it 'rest' was total nonsense, but Kensi wouldn't know the difference. Anyway, it gave him a little more time to keep on invading her personal space.
With perfectly clean fingers thanks to those gloves, he reached one hand up to brush Kensi's thick ponytail to one side in the pretense of getting it out of his line of sight.
Kensi could feel the heat from his body and she really thought for a fleeting moment that he was actually going to slide them around her.
But he was only resting his palms on the countertop's edge on either side of her waist, deliberately not touching her and making her want him to all the more.
Deeks caught a small whiff of perfume and leaned closer to get a better sniff.
"Smells good."
Kensi's forehead wrinkled as she considered that with a little bit of revulsion. Raw ground beef smelling good?
"What is that? Cherries? Does that taste as good as it smells?"
Oh. He was talking about her cherry-scented body spray. Duh.
She was glad he liked it (she'd put it on hoping he'd appreciate it), but right now she simply rolled her eyes for his benefit. "Only you would flirt over a bowl of raw meat."
"Hey, you're the one who bathed in perfume. I'm just breathing it in like you wanted me to."
Kensi peered at him over her shoulder. "I've got something else you could breathe in," she offered with a playful tone and a sparkle in her eye.
And Deeks took the bait. "Oh yeah? What's that?"
She smiled sweetly at him. Sweetly enough that he really should have seen it coming.
"This!" And without warning, Kensi spun to face him with her one still goopy, gloved hand lunging for his face.
"Ah!" He ducked, his trained reflexes saving him just in time. He grabbed her forearm in an iron grip to avoid being defiled by the raw meat mixture.
Kensi fought to reach him with as much strength as he was using to keep her away. "Come on — you know you want it!" she taunted laughingly.
But Deeks was just as strong as ever, even though Kensi had never seen him work out even once before.
Quickly giving up trying to reach his face, she turned her efforts to the hand that gripped her arm but it was just a little too far down for her fingers to reach.
So she then poked him in the side with her non-goopy free hand.
"Don't make me use the Vulcan death pinch on you!" Deeks threatened, trying rather futilely to keep out of tickling range of one of her hands while still keeping a firm hold on her other one.
"That doesn't work on a person's arm," she reminded him triumphantly. "In fact, that doesn't even work at all!"
"Oh — tried that yourself, have you?"
"Why should I, when I can just as easily paralyze a man with one well-aimed knee?" Kensi refuted with a significant glance downward.
Deeks considered that briefly. "Good point." And he turned ever-so-slightly so that if she did dare to aim one of those knees, he could easily deflect it.
He didn't think she'd really do that to her own partner — not during a moment of playfulness, anyway — but he wasn't taking any chances either.
She poked him in the side again, and this time he was able to grab that wrist too and stop the tickling.
"This was your plan all along, wasn't it?" he couldn't help teasing since he had no discernable advantage over her position that he could exploit. "Get a home-cooked meal…maybe a little bondage play… But what makes you think I'm that easy?"
Kensi scoffed in his face. "Oh, please — you're the easiest guy I know!"
"So you do admit it?"
Damn him and his quick wit.
"Your mouth is gonna get you into big trouble one of these days," she warned him tersely, forgetting already that she was supposed to be struggling to get out of his grasp.
His mouth had already gotten him into — and out of — a lifetime's worth of trouble as it was.
He wasn't letting up, neither physically nor verbally. "Your mouth's trouble, too — maybe they both should get together for a while."
Oh my god, did he really just say that? She wanted nothing more than to agree, but pride and stubbornness kept her from it.
"Don't push your luck, pal," was all she could say. And quite weakly, at that.
Deeks easily picked up on the subtle inflection in her voice. It was more of an invitation than a warning.
A challenge, even.
He took a tiny step closer, his hands lowering all four of their arms to a less defensive level and loosening just enough that Kensi could slip out of his grasp if she really wanted to.
He didn't figure that she'd try to slime him anymore, and he was right.
"Just say the words, then," he voiced softly, his eyes locked onto hers. "Tell me you don't like it, and I'll back off."
His words surprised her. Her eyebrows involuntarily rose just the slightest bit and a thin veil of fear crept into her eyes.
But it wasn't a fear of possibilities — it was a fear of losing them.
She couldn't say a word to make him back off. To deny him or her feelings would be a lie.
An utter and total lie.
So all she did instead was stare back at him helplessly.
A look of satisfaction settled over Deeks' face. "That's what I thought."
And since he already had her pinned against the counter pretty well, he figured he might as well make the most of it.
His hands still gripped her wrist and forearm lightly but now he let go of one in favor of cradling her cheek with his hand and tipping it up to the perfect angle for kissing.
He bent closer, and her heart skipped a beat.
Was this really happening?
Her whole body tingled with anticipation as his mouth lowered to hers —
Ding-dong!
Deeks paused just barely an inch away.
Ding-dong!
Seriously?
Ding-dong!
He almost growled in frustration. He was literally this close to kissing Kensi when that damned doorbell had to ring.
He would just ignore it. He tried for the kiss a second time.
Ding-dong! Ding-dong!
"Oh, my god — really?"
Kensi couldn't help a soft laugh at the look on his face. As maddening as it was, the timing of that doorbell was also just a teeny bit funny. In an ironic sort of way.
Ding-dong!
"Aren't you going to get that?" she prompted, more disappointed than she let on.
Deeks looked back at her, very disappointed himself. "Wasn't planning on it."
Ding-dong!
"Alright! Just let me get my gun first," Deeks complained loudly, stepping away from his thoroughly kissable partner and stalking through the living room to yank open the front door. "If this is not a matter of life and death, I swear to god..."
It wasn't. Of course. It was just a very persistent kid selling overpriced and somewhat useless magazine subscriptions.
Deeks didn't want any magazines or subscriptions, but he could've gladly throttled the kid for interrupting what was sure to have been a very enjoyable kiss. And maybe even more than just kissing.
With a defeated sigh, he shooed the kid away and shut the door.
He strode back into the kitchen, hoping to pick up right where they'd left off.
But the playful, charged moment was gone now, and Kensi was focused on scraping the meatloaf mixture into the pan with a rubber spatula.
"I didn't hear any gunplay," she voiced, deliberately keeping her tone light and steady and studiously avoiding his gaze. "So it must not have been life or death?"
"Kid selling stuff," was all Deeks said.
"Oh." Kensi proceeded to flatten out the top of the loaf. "So how long does this thing cook?"
Wow. It was amazing how she could go from almost kissing him, to pretending that nothing happened at all.
Damn that stupid ringing doorbell!
He kept his growing frustrations to himself and gave a noncommittal shrug. "Hour or so."
"In the meantime, I'll be starving to death."
Deeks bit back an innuendo-filled retort, choosing instead to say nothing.
Kensi stripped off her remaining soiled glove and dropped it into the trash can, then scrubbed her hands thoroughly with soapy water just in case.
Deeks covered the meatloaf with a sheet of foil to keep the top from burning, and poked it into the preheated oven and set the timer.
And Kensi, seeing that her partner was finishing up the baking part of their evening, opened his fridge to root around for something to snack on like she owned the place.
There wasn't a lot to choose from, but there was a container of cottage cheese in the front.
She didn't care much for cottage cheese but it was certainly better than nothing.
Deeks watched in silence as Kensi grabbed a spoon from the silverware drawer, scooped up a good-sized spoonful of the cottage cheese, and popped it into her mouth.
It didn't taste right.
Maybe that was just a fluke. The very first bite of something could sometimes taste a little weird, she supposed. The second one would probably be better.
Kensi took another bite of the soft whitish curds, chewing it thoughtfully before swallowing.
The second bite was just as gross as the first.
"I think your cottage cheese went bad," she informed Deeks, stabbing the spoon into the middle of it and setting the container down on the island countertop.
Instead of tasting it himself or just throwing it in the trash like she'd assumed he would do, Deeks just looked at her with a funny little amused smirk on his face.
"What?" she asked.
"That's not cottage cheese."
Confused, Kensi poked the spoon around in the container. It sure looked like cottage cheese. Maybe a little greyer colored than the bright white stuff she was used to. But the texture looked pretty much the same. And it said 'cottage cheese' on the side of the container.
"If it's not cottage cheese, then what is it?"
Deeks was grinning openly at her now, sure to enjoy her reaction when she found out what it really was.
"It's crumbled tofu. I needed a bowl for it, so I finished off the cottage cheese yesterday and reused the container."
Kensi gaped at him, horrified. "Tofu! Oh, my god — that's disgusting! And you just stood there letting me eat it! What the hell's wrong with you?"
Deeks only laughed at her. "It serves you right, stealing my food like that."
"Ulgh!" She filled a glass of water to rinse her mouth out, and prayed for the meatloaf to be done and edible soon.
