Chapter 9
Jamie POV
"Congratulations to those of you that survived the fights. What we are about to start is going to test how Dauntless you really are. We are going to start working in something called a fear landscape. A fear landscape is a simulation, in which you will face all of your worst fears. Most people have from about ten to maybe somewhere in the twenties. It'll take a while to get through everybody, especially on the first day. In the landscapes, the goal is to get past your fears the fastest. The more fears you have, the harder it is to have a fast time, but do your best. We don't expect anyone to come in under half an hour, considering the fact that it's your first day doing this."
Once Eric is finished explaining the fear landscapes, they start calling us in, one by one, in alphabetical order. Oh, this is going to take a while. Christina, Will, and Tris all go in before me, but they don't sit back down. Everyone is sent back to the dorms. This has to be extremely emotionally taxing, I mean it's the worst fears you could possibly have, and you have to face them, figure some way out. I notice that everyone seems so freaked out when they get done, but Tris only seems mildly upset. She also had a really quick time. I wonder if she had a really low number of fears or something.
"Jamie, come on in."
I'm really nervous, but I have to get this over with at some point, might as well do it now. I sit down in the chair and see Eric with a syringe in his hand.
"For now, you will still be aware that this is just a simulation. In this sim, you will face your worst fears, and you have to get past them all to finish. You can't just get halfway through and freak out and quit, because you won't be allowed out of the sim, okay?"
I nod, and wait for him to inject me with the serum. I close my eyes when I feel the needle go into my neck, and open them again, and see that I'm standing on a very narrow rail between two skyscrapers. I look down and nearly fall. I've got to be at least a mile above the ground.
"It's just a sim, it's okay, it's not going to hurt you." is what I tell myself, trying to keep in mind how I handled the dog in the aptitude test, that it didn't hurt me, this isn't real. Even so, this all looks way too real.
Okay, gotta think. If this were real, I would walk across this rail to one of the buildings, but this is a simulation. I know I'm not going to die. I look down, and jump. I'm falling for an extremely long time, and at some point in the fall I started screaming at the top of my lungs. When I see the ground coming up, I brace myself for the pain, but it doesn't come.
I feel my feet on the ground again, and I look around to see people everywhere. I'm standing on a platform in the middle of a group of people, and they're all looking at me, like they're expecting something. I'm terrified of being the center of attention. I just close my eyes, and walk off the platform, straight through the crowd of people, keeping in mind that they aren't judging me because they don't exist. It's not real, don't cry.
When I open my eyes again, I feel something crawling on my legs and look down. Spiders. Nope, I'm done. I feel them crawling, and I start to freak out. I'm doing the best I can to wipe them all away, but I can't get rid of them. The more I wipe away, twice as many come back. It's not a real, the spiders aren't real, they can't do a thing to you. In the next moment, I do the hardest thing I have ever done on my life. I lay down on the ground in the middle of all these spiders.
After a few seconds, I don't feel anything crawling on me anymore, and I stand up, only to hit my head on a ceiling. Oh crap, small spaces. I'm in an already small box, and it starts to get smaller. I don't know how to beat this. The best thing I can do is just sit here, waiting for the box to crush me. I know I can't defeat a box, there's only so much I can do. I just hold still and try not to panic, despite the fact that the box just keeps closing in.
Finally, I don't feel the walls of the box anymore, but I am laying on my back, in what feels like a bed. It's dark, but I see something glint. Once my eyes adjust, I see Peter standing over me, holding a knife, ready to kill me. I immediately hop up and throw him on the ground, kicking the knife away, and start beating his face in.
I feel a hand pull my arm back, and I turn to look straight into Eric's eyes. I look back to where Peter was, but he's gone. I'm facing yet another fear. Eric looks at me, and speaks to me in a serious, completely emotionless voice.
"Follow me."
"What? What's going on?"
"I'm escorting you from Dauntless."
"Why?"
"You don't belong. You aren't Dauntless. You're too afraid, you aren't brave enough. You don't belong here. You didn't make the cut."
How am I supposed to get past this?
"If you think that, then you don't know me. I am brave enough. I'm braver than a lot of those guys that are still in. You can try to take me out all you want, but I'm staying right here."
He simply nods, and walks away.
I sit straight up in my chair, and I'm back in the fear landscape room. I look up and see Eric standing at his computer, typing something, then he looks up at me and smiles.
"Wow."
"What do you mean 'wow'?"
"You only have six fears. That's pretty good. In fact, that's really good. Our all time low is four fears. Guess who that was."
"Four. So that's where he gets the nickname from."
"Yep. Hey, I do have one question first though, what was the deal with Peter in there? Was he the one the stabbed Edward?"
I drop my head. I forgot that Eric could see the fears, and I just basically ratted Peter out. Now he's going to have even more reason to come for me.
"Never mind, sorry I asked. I shouldn't bring up the fears. You just had to live through them. Okay, you're free to go. Head back to the dorms, you all have the rest of the day off."
I stand up and head back to the dorms, and see a lot of the other initiates just sitting on their bed, either crying or staring into space. This is starting to look like a mental institution. I find my friends, and right now Chris is telling about her landscape.
"Bugs, everywhere, crawling in my mouth, my eyes, I just couldn't get rid of them."
I nod.
"Yeah I had the same, but just spiders."
"Oh, that's almost worse."
"Yeah. so how many fears did you all have?"
"Well, I had thirteen, Will had fifteen, and Tris was close to beating a record."
"Four's record. Yeah, Eric told me about that. He said I was close too, I only had six fears."
"Same!"
"I looked at the times though, I think you beat me. I had to think my way out of it, but it took too long."
We all talked for a little while until it was time to head down to dinner. On the way down, we see Eric walking our way. The others look down, but I smile at him. He grabs my arm on his way past, without saying a word.
"Guys, I'll be back later I guess."
They're all standing there, staring in horror, as if they think I'm being dragged to my death.
"Okay, what is this all about."
"Don't say a word, just come with me. I'll tell you in a minute."
I just do as he says, following and staying quiet. I have no idea what is going on, but I'm beginning to have the sinking feeling that someone found out. They know about my results.
In a few minutes, we arrive at the control room.
"What are we-?"
"Hush."
He opens the door, but puts a hand out, stopping me from following him in.
"Stay here, I'll be right out."
Eric POV
"Was that Jamie out there?"
"Yes, Four. I have a question for you. Can you access the test results of the initiates?"
"I can, but I would need a reason." he's wary. He knows I've caught onto something, but he doesn't know what.
"What were Jamie's test results?"
He looks mildly relieved, as if he thought I was going to ask about someone else.
"Why?"
"I'm a leader, you aren't. What were her test results?"
"No."
"Why won't you tell me?"
"They are classified. The only ones who know are whoever enters in the results, and the leaders of Erudite."
"Fine."
I walk out, and Jamie is still standing there, but looks like she wants to back up.
"What's was going on in there?"
"I need to know something. What were your test results?"
She hesitates, but only for a second.
"Dauntless."
"Jamie, you can trust me. What were they?"
"Dauntless."
I want to believe her. I want to believe that she is normal, that she only got one result, but there's just too much pointing to Divergence.
"Why do you ask?"
"Well, today in your sim, you were supposed to be aware, so that didn't bother me, but the way you got out of the stuff. You didn't do it logically, you did it as quick as possible, trying to get out of there. Even a normal person doesn't think like that, they would still try something logical or brave, but not crazy, defying how everything is supposed to work. Please, tell me the truth. What did you get when you took your aptitude test."
"Eric, I've said it twice, Dauntless. I don't know how to make it anymore clear. Am I done now?"
"Yeah, sure. Go eat. I'll see you tomorrow."
"See you."
Tomorrow is Saturday, all the initiates have to day off, but we'll probably still see each other at some point. Honestly, lately we've been trying to talk to each other. Everyone else avoids me, and she's trying to find me.
