The hallway seemed very tight, like the sides were slowly closing in on her. Keeping one hand on each wall, she walked quickly, wanting to find an open space as soon as possible. As the corridor continued, seemingly endlessly, her breathing became ragged. She needed air, sky, grass, trees. Not this. Stone, wood, beams, carpets, torches. It all made her flesh crawl.
There was a commotion coming from up ahead. Lots of noise, lots of people. Shouting. It didn't sound…promising. She didn't want to go anywhere near there. She turned around to go back the way she'd come.
There was nothing but a wall behind her.
Moaning low in her throat, she reluctantly continued on toward the noise. Finally, there was a room off the hallway, to her left. Heart thudding in her ears, she pushed the door open.
There was a woman in labor on a bed, writhing on blood-covered sheets. Around her, serving girls tried to hold her down, while the midwife shouted for her to push.
"I can't!" the woman screamed back, legs splayed at painful angles. "I have nothing left! Curse this child! Curse him, for he steals my life from me!" She screamed again, thrashing against the headboard.
"You don't mean that," one of the girls gasped.
"I do!" the writhing woman insisted. Another scream ripped out of her mouth. "My poor daughter, my Goldanna. Who will care for her?"
The girl pulled the woman's sweaty hair out of her face, and a hint of silver winked from around mother-to-be's neck.
Her hand stole to her throat at the ice-cold realization of what she was seeing. The same necklace was around her neck, except twenty-something years in the future. What a bizarre thought. Movement to the right, in the corner, caught her eye.
He was on his knees, struggling to get up, to look away, to do anything else but watch. It was as if something was holding him there, forcing him to bear witness. Weeping quietly, he tried to dig his fingers into the stone floor. Shivers rippled over his muscles violently.
Anger rose up to replace the fear inside her. She took a breath to shout out her rage when a wall of fire descended before her, blocking out the scene. Blocking her love from view. The heat made her backpedal until she slammed into the wall of the hallway behind her.
"Be gone…" hissed a chorus of voices in her ear. "You cannot save him. He is OURS." The fire advanced towards her.
"He belongs to no one!" she shouted back, wincing away from the heat.
Wicked laughter surrounded her in a thousand different pitches. "Well, he certainly no longer belongs you, mortal."
"You'll pay for your petty games!" she snarled. "When I find you-"
The fire burst out of the room, surrounding her and cutting off any escape. Not that there was any escape to be had; the hallway had shrunk down to be simply a closet off the bedroom. Smoke filled her lungs as the flames licked towards her to burn her skin. She could not scream, not with thick, black smoke instead of air all around her.
Sierra woke gasping, eyes darting around in the darkness. As her heart hammered away in her chest, she propped herself up on her hands. No stifling, claustrophobic corridor in what she assumed was supposed to be Redcliffe Castle, no fire. Just open starry sky and comforting trees. Closing her eyes, she let her head loll back. Tears dropped out of her eyes to disappear into her hair.
"Are you all right?" asked Leliana cautiously, her voice carrying across the little clearing they'd camped in.
"As all right as I can be when I watch him being tortured," she answered.
"I would ask what it was about …but I don't think I want to know. You bear a heavy burden, my friend."
"Not as heavy as his." Getting roughly to her feet, she ducked behind a tree and threw up. The elf grabbed a water skin and washed her mouth out. "You should sleep the rest of the night. As long as I pace around, I'll stay awake, and I'm pretty easily shaken out of the memory lapses, so unless we have another assassin after us…"
"I don't think we're as famous as all that anymore," Leliana giggled. "Are you sure?" she asked seriously. "That's the second time you threw up today, and you haven't slept for very long. I can stay on watch a bit longer."
"Ha! Leliana, my dear follower of the Maker, no sleep is the name of the game. Go to bed, we're heading up the mountain tomorrow. It'll do you more good than it'll do me, that's for sure."
"If you insist." The bard snuggled into her bedroll and was blissfully asleep in a few minutes.
Sierra watched her with naked jealousy for a bit before beginning her slow pacing. Travel was so much…slower with Leliana around. Mostly because she had to sleep like a normal person. The elf was used to traveling almost constantly, bedding down only when she felt near collapse to attempt nightmare-riddled sleep for a few hours. She knew the bard's presence was for the best, though. Her condition was getting worse.
It was a fight to swallow food, and she obviously wasn't keeping it down once it got to her stomach. She trembled almost constantly now, as if she were continually cold. Struggling with the urge to snap every time Leliana spoke was a task that increased with difficulty daily. That was a battle she refused to lose, however. It was the last thing the Orlesian deserved.
She'd lost track of how long they'd been on the road. Topher seemed like a distant memory. Traipsing across Ferelden was not nearly as amusing without the company of her hastily-assembled clan. Leliana could only be herself; she could not be everyone else, too. Sierra had also been getting sleep the last time she was trudging around the country.
She'd also had him.
Turning her gaze northward, she could just barely make out the peaks of the Frostback Mountains in the moonlight. Not all that far now. They'd make good time tomorrow, get themselves some furs for the cold weather, perhaps a tent, too. They'd find her soon.
Maybe when this was all over, she would move into the Amaranthine fortress. Keep Topher company. It's not like she had anything better planned after this torture was over. Besides sleeping for about a week, of course. It was so horrifying unfair that he was trapped there. The world could be crueler than she'd thought possible. She'd naively imagined she'd seen it all. Now her eyes were open in ways she'd never wanted them to be.
Open eyes, can't sleep. Open eyes, can't stop seeing the pain. She giggled a bit to herself.
Can't close your eyes. It doesn't go away. It comes to find you then, hunts your dreams like a rabid wolf. No where to hide, no where to run.
Her dark gaze fell on Leliana again. Another giggle bubbled up from her throat. Reaching behind her back near her hip, Sierra thumbed the blade of her battleaxe over and over again. The metal sung quietly.
No where to hide. No where to run. Would she sing as pretty if her head wasn't attached to her neck anymore?
She dropped her hand, and bumped against the pouch of rose petals at her hip.
"You know, it occurs to me that there haven't been many women in the Grey Wardens," he mused out loud.
"So, you'd like more female Wardens?" The words had escaped her mouth before she could stop herself. Foolish elf! You're not with your clan anymore, behave yourself!
"Would that be so bad?" he countered, raising an eyebrow. "Not that I'm some drooling lecher or anything," he hastily added, amber eyes rapidly filling with embarrassment. He raised his hands in surrender. "Please stop looking at me like that."
Sierra groaned, stumbling backwards a few steps. She lost her footing and fell, barely catching herself on her hands. Her chest rose and fell with little, heaving breaths.
Was that what it was like for Victor? Had his mind just…disappeared on him the night he'd killed Topher? Had a memory of Pria not come at the last second to restore his sanity?
Shuddering, the Grey Warden got to her feet. Reaching down, she convulsively squeezed the pouch of rose petals as she resumed her pacing. This time…keeping a firm grip on her mind.
"We should find a place to camp soon," Leliana said, looking up at the sky. It was blanketed with clouds of slate grey. "It looks to snow."
"We should probably camp soon," Alistair observed from behind her. "This is going to be quite a storm. We should've just waited it out in Orzammar…"
"When we left, the sky looked perfectly clear," Leliana chimed in. "This came out of nowhere. Besides, it was…stuffy down there."
"Well, it is underground, isn't it?" Morrigan said snidely. "However, as much as I loathe to admit it, I agree with you."
"Morrigan, you're agreeing with other people! I'm so proud of you!" Alistair praised extravagantly. "They grow up so fast, don't they?"
Leliana giggled. Morrigan replied, voice dripping with poison, "Doesn't take much to please a moron."
Sierra didn't turn around. As long as no one was threatening to kill anyone else, she figured no intervention was needed. Beyond the bard, the witch, and the former templar-in-training, she could hear the rest of the group chattering. Oghren, the newest addition, could be heard above everything. Not surprising, since he was drunker than anyone Sierra had seen before. Ever.
Her gaze drifted lazily to the sky to see the incoming storm clouds for herself. Her feet ground to a halt as her jaw dropped open.
"Ugh, we're definitely going to need shelter," Alistair groaned. "Sierra, do you think- Andraste's knickers, what are you doing?"
She craned her head back further, ignoring him, and staring raptly at the sky. Big, thick, white, crystal-like things were appearing. They descended slowly, reluctantly almost. One landed on her face. Cold! She touched her fingers to her cheek. They came away wet, but when she looked, the white thing was gone.
"Darling…?" Alistair came around in front of her, a bemused grin on his face. "Everything OK?"
She turned to him, her eyes wide. "Snow! This is snow!" she exclaimed.
Her fellow Grey Warden burst out laughing. "Is that what's going on? Have you never seen snow before?"
"I've heard about it, but I've never seen it. My clan never came very far north. I can't believe-" She broke off, trying to look all around at the same time. They were everywhere, filling the sky. They started piling up on the ground. Experimentally, she kicked at a small mound that had materialized nearby. It exploded in a shower of white powder. She gasped with delight. The elf turned back to the man in armor with a huge grin on her face.
"You have absolutely no idea how adorable you are right now, do you?" he asked, putting a hand on his cheek and sighing.
"Hmm?" She'd been distracted by watching the snow fall again.
Alistair seized her by the shoulders and pulled her in for a kiss. It was quick…but not in any way chaste. "Maker's breath, but you're beautiful. I am a lucky man."
If possible, Sierra's grin grew bigger. "You know I love when you say that."
He lowered his voice and pulled her even closer. "I do. Now, what I was trying to tell you before you were being unfairly cute is that there's a cave just over there. Perfect place to wait out the storm. How does that sound?"
"Bloody perfect," she responded, wrinkling her nose as she smiled.
He groaned and rolled his eyes. "Why do you do that to me? With the smile, and the nose, and the-" Growling inarticulately, the warrior grabbed her hands and brought them to his lips, kissing each one in turn.
"Anyone else feel the urge to vomit? Anyone?" Morrigan appealed desperately.
Giving Sierra a wink and raising his voice, Alistair called out to the group, "Executive decision! Break out the tents!"
Sierra narrowed her eyes as the memory vanished. She half-expected to see a cave up ahead, just like before. There was nothing but the mountain trail. "How bad do you think it will be?" she asked the Orlesian. "You know my familiarity with snow is…limited."
"Limited to cozying up to a fire with a certain Grey Warden," Leliana teased.
For once, the redhead's voice wasn't putting the elf's sleeping-deprived brain on edge. She gave her friend a genuine smile. "Indeed, and a snowball fight with a feisty bard-turned-cloistered-sister."
The bard in question laughed. "That, too." She regarded the sky intently for a moment. "Not bad. Putting up the tent out of the way of the wind should do fine."
They found a rocky outcrop that blocked the wind sufficiently. While Sierra set up the tent, she could hear Leliana bring a fire to life. The elf could never manage to do it that fast, well rested or not. The pair of them huddled together in the opening of the tent, shoulder to shoulder. For the first time in a long time, Sierra did not feel ragged, as if her sanity was unraveling. She felt…good. Meaning to take advantage of it, she scooted closer to Leliana. She wanted to enjoy the company of her friend as long as her condition would allow it.
"Look, it's starting," Leliana said, pointing up.
The warrior followed her finger. Sure enough, flakes were beginning to fall from the sky. They were small, more compact than the last snowfall she'd encountered. The only snowfall as far as she was concerned. A secret smile curved her lips.
"I know what you're thinking about." The former Revered Mother nudged her arm. "You have that look."
"What look?" Sierra demanded, although she knew exactly the look the bard meant.
"You know!" Leliana replied, as if reading her mind. "The look of lovers," she whispered lasciviously. Her eyes unfocused as she stared off into space. "That was a good night…for all of us."
"Oh? You have some fun of your own?" asked Sierra, raising an eyebrow.
"No!" The Orlesian gave the elf a push on the shoulder. "Although, I think I could've had Zevran if I wanted."
"No offense, Leliana, but anyone could have had Zevran if they wanted!"
"Ah, yes. He was certainly…forward." Sighing, Leliana leaned her head on her hand. "I love when the snow first falls. It's so pure, so clean."
Sierra stuck her hand out. The snowflakes collected on her palm, melting almost instantly. For the first time, she felt the memory lapse coming. It oozed forward like a fog, coming from the corners of her vision to wash away the real world. She welcomed it. This was a memory she longed to revisit every day of her life…
Yes, I know that in the game there's snow on the ground when the party goes to the Frostback Mountains. I figure, who's to say that in the beginning of fall/winter, the ground can't be clear? Let's pretend my party was there during one of those times. :) And the snow thing is a little goofy, but it was an idea that got in my head and wouldn't leave.
