HI everyone!! Thanks for the reviews, you've been good to me. If I forgot to reply to any of you plz forgive me. I've had a really bad headache the last couple of days, and I know that's why I should be in bed right now, but I really wanted to finish this chapter. I've been writing and rewriting it ever since I started the storie ... I don't really know how it turned out, and it might contain a few mistaked, I'm kind of seeing double right now, so I didn't really feel like checking the text ten times... Of course I could have done the sensible thing, and wait untill I felt better, but as I already said I didn't want to. Hopefully you'll like it anyway... The chapter contains bits about the past and their present... I believe it's kind of a key chapter, and well you'll see...

much love

XoXo

disclaimer: as usual I have to say that I don't own any of this, just the plot i guess...


Sirius wasn't sure where he was. He didn't know what had happened. He couldn't see anything but him; he couldn't think about anything else but get out of this place. To get away from him, Sirius needed to get away from him. Yet all he could see was the man he thought had loved him, the man he had loved…

'Siri were are you?' Anna's voice came from the hallway. 'Are you home already? I arrived together with James. He wanted to talk to you.'

'Fuck it.' Chris hissed darkly. There was only hatred in his eyes, as he watched Sirius crumble on the floor of the room.

'Siri?' He heard Anna's voice again, but he couldn't answer. Why couldn't they find him? He felt his last breath slipping away as the blood kept pouring on the floor.

'I hate you.' Sirius said towards the young man hovering over him, the knife still in his hands. Sirius had to use all the power he had to even speak, his words barely a whisper, but they were louder than any scream could have ever been. 'I hate you.'

'Sirius, where are you?' It was James, Sirius knew it. They were close now. They would rescue him. It would all be over. The room was tumbling again. There was nothing he could do… He wanted to sleep, wanted it all to go away. He saw the door open, and the bit of light that came from behind it. After that everything went black.


'So I'll see you tonight then?' Anna asked in a pleasant voice, different from her normal tone, yet seemingly very happy, Remus noticed as he passed her half-opened room. 'I can't wait…'

Even though Remus realized that It was a private conversation he could not help but stop in the middle of the hallway.

'No, you don't have to pick me up… I'll see you at the restaurant.' Anna continued, still sounding amazingly happy. She had a very different tone that when she spoke to either Sirius, any of their other friends, or even to himself. This person had to be different to her. 'Bye, see you soon!'

As the conversation was over Remus made sure he was out of the hallway, and into the kitchen before Anna realized that he had been eavesdropping.

It had been a few days after Anna's mysterious disappearance, and it was finally Monday morning, the first day of school for Remus. He had to admit that it felt weird going back to school. It wasn't the fact that he didn't go to school in the past, which he had done, but more of the fact that there were actually people supporting him now.

Anna usually was the one making sure that everything fell into place, while Sirius… Well, Remus wasn't really sure what it was that Sirius did. He put things out of place, but in a good way. He was the one that made Remus question his ideas on the world, Sirius gave him life again, a new spirit. It was something like that at least.

'So you're done getting ready?' Sirius asked as he saw Remus enter the room looking deep in thought. Remus looked up to the young man smiling, and nodded. 'What would you like to eat?' Sirius went on, trying to start a conversation.

'It doesn't really matter.' Remus answered, he was too nervous to eat anyway.


'Anna! Help me! Call a doctor or the hospital, anything!' James yelled in terror. He pulled out his gun towards the man standing over Sirius. 'Get back you. Drop the knife, and keep your hands up.'

For a moment the only thing anyone could hear was the knife dropping, the footsteps Chris placed away from Sirius' seemingly lifeless body. James walked over to his best friend kneeling besides him. He could see the wound, all the blood… It was terrible. As he tried to take Sirius his pulse he heard footsteps again, assuming that they were Anna's he yelled at her again.

'Call the police as well…' James said as he looked up to see Chris standing right before him again. 'What the-'the man gave him a kick, knocking James to the ground for just a moment, as Chris took James' gun.

'You think you're so smart don't you?' Chris said in his smug voice. 'He got what he deserved, and now so will you.'

'I'm not really sure about that.' James said standing up from the ground again, as Anna quietly entered the room and took the knife from the floor.

'Drop it.' A voice unlike James and Chris had ever heard came from behind Chris. It was the coldest tone James ever remembered hearing. 'Drop it, or I will stab you, just like you stabbed him.'

For a minute James thought Chris would try to fight of Anna as well, but then he dropped the gun again. He turned to Anna, and James could see that there was more hate in the man's eyes than should be humanly possible. Anna on the other hand didn't show any emotion whatsoever.

'Will he be alright?' Anna asked James as if they weren't talking about Sirius' life.

'Yes I think so. The wound seems pretty deep but I think he only really got flesh.' James explained hurriedly not knowing how Anna could choose now to start acting like an ice queen.

'In about 10 minutes the police and the ambulance will be here. I suggest you leave now.' Anna said to Chris stepping away to let him pass. As well Chris as James, looked at her as if she had gone crazy.

'Go now, and don't ever return.' Anna continued. 'Because if you do I swear to god I will kill you, and I'll enjoy it.'

'What are you doing Anna?' James asked here as he stood there half dumb struck, and Chris was making sure Anna wouldn't kill him right here and now. 'He deserves to go to prison.'

'Humans you put in prison James, animals you let run free.' Anna stated simply. 'Besides he will turn himself in.' Again both the man looked surprised.

'I was right. You're even weirder than you seem.' Chris sneered.

'You will turn yourself in, because at least in jail you'll be certain I won't try to murder you in your sleep.' Anna still seemed to be incredibly calm, like she was just some cold hearted person talking about nothing more than the weather. 'Goodbye.'

Then she walked over to the place where Sirius was lying. Chris finally ran out of the room.

'Let him go, James.' Anna said in a different tone, as she kneeled next to Sirius' body. 'Everything will be ok.' Her voice was soft again, full of love and concern. 'I promise. We'll get through this as well. It's not that hard. You'll be even stronger in the end.'


'Are you sure this is what you want?' Sirius asked again as he pulled to a stop only meters from the entrance of Remus' new school. The young boy nodded giving Sirius an honest smile. 'If anything happens go straight to Lily.'

'Sir-'Remus started, but Sirius cut him off not noticing that Remus wanted to say something.

'Oh, and before I forget, I bought you a cell phone.' Sirius stated as he searched for the thing on the backseat, and handed it to Remus. 'Call me if you need something, or if something goes wrong.'

'I'll be-'Remus tried again, but without any real success.

'Come straight here after school. Anna will pick you up at half past 3. Understood?' Sirius was rambling like mad, and Remus nodded again not knowing what else to do. The young boy was really stunned that Sirius seemed so serious (for lack of a better word).

'Oh and, here is lunch money, you know you should eat-'Sirius started again after he had taken a few deep breaths.

'Sirius, will you listen to me?' Remus said very loudly, and Sirius' eyes snapped up as he came out of his trance. 'I'll be ok.'

The older man nodded, and started smiling.

'I know.' He stated eventually. 'Now go, before I change my mind.'

Remus opened the door of the car, and took his bag. Before he got out of the car however he changed his mind and looked back at Sirius. Before either of them knew what was really happening Remus leaned in giving Sirius a soft peck on his cheek.

'Thanks.' The boy said with a light blush as he pulled back again, and left before Sirius could even think about something to say…


The trip to the hospital was long and hard. James called his girlfriend Lily and their other close friend Peter as Anna did everything she could to get a hold of her own boyfriend Evan.

'Why did you do that Anna?' James asked still believing that Anna had gone completely mental.

'As I already told you James, you don't imprison animals.' The young women stated once more as she dialed Evan number for what seemed to be the 1OOth time.

'Evan, it's me.' Anna said towards the answering machine, as James continued to drive after the ambulance. 'Please call me back as soon as you can. I'm almost at the city hospital. Sirius is off pretty bad.'

As Anna put the phone down and looked worried outside the window, James knew that she had been right all along. There was only one thing that mattered… that was their best friend, Sirius.


As Remus got shown his classroom he entered a bit too late. His first class of the day was chemistry, and Remus already knew it would be a disaster. He hated chemistry, and was terrible at it. It had been the only subject at school b far that Remus failed, the one subject that gained him something else than grates…

He gave a soft knock on the door, feeling as nervous as he knew Sirius was feeling as he dropped him off. It wasn't the first time however that Remus had gone to a new school.

'Come in.' a hard voice said. It was definitely a young man, but seemingly not e very pleasant one. As Remus opened the door 24 pair of eyes started looking at him, including those of the teacher. God that man needed a bath, or shampoo or something. He has black hair just like Sirius, but Sirius who did everything in his power to keep his hair as perfect as hair could possibly be was quite the opposite of this man. 'You're late. It's a good start for you mister Lupin. Let's make one thing clear as you are entering my class: you will not take on the habits of the people who took responsibility for you. Although it's already hard to believe that the two of them can be responsible for anything.'

Was that man actually talking about Sirius and Anna? He really couldn't be. They had been the nicest people Remus had ever known, after his parents of course.

'I will be on time next time, but the women that showed me the classroom had to make a stop at her office.' Remus explained.

'No excuses mister Lupin. You can sit down at the back of the room, and next to you speak to me you will address me with mister Snape, understood?' The man asked already turning around.

'Yes, sir…' Remus answered. His name was Snape? Where had he known that name before? As he started walking towards his seat he suddenly remembered. 'Sniviless…'

The man turned around abruptly.

'What did you just say?' His eyes were cold with hatred.

'Nothing…' Remus said in a quiet voice.

'Nothing, who?' The man continued, sneering at Remus…

'Nothing, sir.' Remus repeated.

'Watch it, you.' The young teacher stated almost hissing his words, as he seemingly forgot that he had a class full of students. 'And sit down!'

After chemistry Remus thought his day could only get better from her on, but he hadn't thought about the other students yet. His classmates hadn't said a word to him, and Remus didn't really matter. Now however he was walking towards his next class alone, and as he was trying to find the way he bumped into someone.

'My apologies.' Remus stated looking for the plan he had dropped.

'Well well… If it isn't the new kid? My brother told me you'd show up.'

'Excuse me?' Remus asked, not knowing who this girl was, and where she was going with this.

'You're the one living with those to freaks aren't you?' The girl went on. 'The backstabbing bitch and her disgusting diseased freak of nature.'

'He's not a freak of nature, and he sure as hell isn't diseased or disgusting.' Remus stated in something that felt a lot like upcoming rage. Where had that so suddenly come from?

'Are you protecting your boyfriend? Maybe you're a freak of nature yourself.' The girl went on, towering over him without any difficulty. 'Maybe I should teach you that it's wrong…'

'Mathews?' A guy who seemed to be the girl's age came over to the girl, and as she looked around, Remus made his way out of sight. As he left he saw the older boy wink at him over the girls' shoulder…


Anna, James, Lily, Peter and Patty, (Peter's girlfriend) were waiting together in the emergence waiting room. All of them very stressed out, and scared for their friend of many years. The room was the coldest place in the entire world to all of them; they were scared, cold and tired. They just wanted an answer, for Sirius to be alright, but no one came to tell them. No doctor, no nurse, no one.

'It will be alright.' Lily said to her boyfriend, who was looking quiet terrible. 'He'll be ok.'

'I hope so.' James said in a distant voice as he looked around the room. Anna was still trying to call Evan, even though you couldn't in a hospital. Peter was softly talking with Patty, they were in the middle of moving out of state, and were here in no time. Even Patty, who had not known Sirius that well, seemed completely taken aback by what had happened earlier that night.

Suddenly someone stormed into the room.

'Honey!' Evan looked relieved the moment he saw Anna. 'I came as soon as I heard your message. Are you alright?'

The young woman nodded, as she came towards him and hugged him tightly.

'It's Sirius. He's been stabbed. I'm really scared Ev.' Anna explained without letting go of her boyfriend. 'What if he won't be ok?'

'It'll all work itself out sweetheart.' Evan stated as he looked around the room and saw the rest of his girlfriend's friends. He didn't even nod to them. 'But you shouldn't be here. You've been through a lot. You need rest.'

'But I don't want to leave! I need-'Anna started but was soon cut off by Evan.

'You need to come with me, and get some rest. You can come back tomorrow.' Evan stated, not having heard a word that Anna had said. 'You can sleep at my house tonight, and we'll go get some stuff off you tomorrow at the apartment.'

'But-'Anna tried to continue, tried to make Evan see that she could not leave Sirius.

'No buts! You need some sleep.' Evan went on. 'I don't want you hanging here the whole night.'

Peter tapped Anna's shoulder.

'If we hear something we'll call you instantly. I promise.' The man stated with tired eyes. Anna nodded, thanking her friend with her eyes.

'That's settled than. Come on darling we're going home.' Evan already started walking out of the room, again completely ignoring Anna's friends, not even caring if Sirius was alright.

'Good night.' Lily said to Anna with worried eyes.

'See you tomorrow.' As Anna wanted to hug her friend, she heard Evan call from the hallway.

'Are you still coming?' He was very impatient, and Anna made an apologetic look and she too left the room. Leaving everything that was important to her behind she eventually stepped into her boyfriend's car, tears dripping from her eyes as she couldn't suppress her fear of losing one of them, especially not the one person she cared so much about, her best friend, her roommate, Sirius...


Remus was sitting in the school bathroom feeling terrible. Teenagers could be so terrible people. They didn't even know them, and already thought he was a freak. That gave no good prospect for the future. He had been sitting there for what seemed the whole lunch break. He felt like throwing up, and already leaving, but he couldn't. Somehow he wanted to prove that he was normal, even if he really wasn't.

A soft knock on the door caught Remus by surprise.

'It's occupied.' He yelled towards the person at the other end of the door.

'I know.' He heard a friendly male voice; it was a nice surprise after all those others. 'I came looking for you. You're the new kid right?'

'Yes…' Remus said as casually as he could.

'We have chemistry together. I thought it was really stupid the way he treated you.' The boy still seemed friendly. 'Could you maybe open the door? I won't do anything, I'm not like Mathews.'

After a second of doubt Remus slowly opened the door ready for anything, but the only thing he seemed to find was a boy with bright blond hair, and deep blue eyes. He was definitely Remus' age although he wasn't as skinny as Remus, and he definitely was taller.

'Do you know that girl?' Remus asked as he saw the others encouraging smile.

'Everyone knows that girl. She's one year above us, and she can do whatever she wants just because her brother is on the school board.' The young boy explained. 'By the way, I'm Paul.' The boy extended his hand, and Remus took it after another second of doubt. He really wasn't in a place to turn down friends.

'My name's Remus.'

'I know…' The boy stated still smiling, and to his own surprise Remus found he was smiling back. 'And don't worry I don't mind that you live with someone who is gay. I know from experience you can't catch 'gayness' like a disease or something. My brother's gay, and I'm not, so that definitely shows that. Not that I would mind you being gay. I'm rambling… I'm going to stop now…'

'You should introduce me to your brother sometimes.' Remus said in a friendly voice still smiling. Paul looked at Remus and nodded.

'Chris would be delighted.'


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love you guys so much

XoXo

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