I really hated my job. I don't know why I was continuing to work here in the first place. After five hours, I was beat and ready to hand in my letter of resignation, as I always was, but found myself remembering how hard it had been to find this job. If I threw it away, where would I be? I'm sure Brendan's job had been tougher than mine, especially if it had given him that terrible rash. Being in this place reminded me of him way too much. When there weren't any customers in line, I would find myself glancing out the door, wondering if he would walk in with that sheepish smile on his face. He would be happy to see me, and I think it was him being protective more than anything, but I could sense the hit at his pride from having to check on me. Before he met me, he wasn't use to wanting someone else to be near him.
When my boss let me go two hours early, surprising both me and the rest of the staff, I decided to forgo calling Dante. I didn't see the harm in walking, I use to do it all the time. It was very silent when I walked out of the diner, most people having gone home. Lara called out to me though and I turned on my heel to see her.
"So.. You're not feeling sick?" I almost forgot about the lie Sara had come up with.
"Not at all." I said, taking a deep breath and letting my heartbeat fill my ears. I don't think I'd ever lied to someone so consciously since coming to live here. Despite the necessity of it, I still felt a shiver of cold sidle up my skin.
"Okay, well… you could let me know next time?" I realized the cold sliding up my skin was guilt. It doubled itself and I couldn't suppress the shudder that caused me to visibly shake. Lara gave me a look and I shrugged.
"Sure, sorry." I wasn't though. I was too distracted to talk to Lara at that moment in time, even though I know I should've. I wanted to walk so I could go back to that spot I'd seen Brendan. I wanted to find my own clues, instead of relying on everybody else to help me. This included Dante, Lady, and that future-teller woman. Lara's eyes flashed and for a second I thought for sure I saw anger, pure rage, before it faded into the shining happiness she always had.
"See you around." Lara called as I left again, quickly stepping outside before anyone else could stop me. My walk was brisk, and I ignored the blank buildings that passed me. The only thing I found strange and out of place, I'd walked this route many times, was the new club already starting. The neon sign was brand new and the bouncer at the door told me it was a bit higher class than anything else. I stopped across the street to stare at it. I could feel some sort of pull, the same pull that had brought me back to Devil May Cry, trying to tell me something.
Ignoring it, as best I could, I continued to walk back to the spot I could almost place by heart. I couldn't help the intake of breath once I got there, even as it got lodged in my throat, I couldn't make a sound. The images of that day flashed in my head: blood tipped nails, the rash that had spread over those… things bodies, and Brendan. His image flashed mostly, I wondered if anything had changed. After all, they had found him. He could've forgotten about me. The next time I saw him, instead of embracing me, he could be trying to kill me. I remembered Dante's words about his brother and I couldn't imagine how much it could hurt. Having it be a conscious decision must be much worse than it being forced on the person.
The open lot was silent and I took hesitant steps deeper into the middle. My muscles were tensed through my shoulders, my legs shaking. I don't know what I expected to find, but it wasn't what I did find. At first, it looked just like the dog was sleeping, because it's stomach was moving up and down. I hesitated when I saw it, because the voice in the back of my head told me it wasn't safe to approach a dog that was use to defending itself. Instead of listening to the rational side of me, I pressed forward until I was two feet behind it. My instincts were flashing through my head and I cleared my throat loudly, just to make a sound. The dog did not move.
As I nudged it with my foot and peeked overtop of it. I realized the dog was actually dead and the moving I was seeing was from something inside of it. My whole body stilled and I felt my stomach rumble, telling me it was about to throw up what I'd had on my break. I placed a hand over my mouth, willing myself not to, and stared at the dog blankly. It's stomach was cut open, blood spilling on the ground in front of it. It took me only a few seconds to comprehend that the dog was covered in the scabby flesh that Brendan had, most of it's hair having fallen off. Would Brendan die like this?
Before the thought could make further process through my head, whatever was inside the dog, as it had been moving the whole time I stood there, suddenly stopped. The halt of it had me backing away. I saw something slimy stick out of the stomach, where the cut was, and that's when I ran. For how long I wasn't sure, but I got to Devil May Cry quickly. I stormed up the steps and opened the doors, shutting them quickly behind me. I knew I was somewhat overreacting as my hands fumbled with the latches, but I'd never seen anything like that before.
"Bell?" I turned around, thumping my back against the door at the sound. Dante had a piece of pizza halfway to his mouth, eyeing me with a wariness and predatorily look that must come from any hunting he ever did. "What's up?"
"Nothing." I croaked and cleared my throat after. "I just… it's getting dark." I waved my hand in front of me, it turning halfway into a shrug. I could feel my heartbeat against my chest and every time I blinked my brain went into overdrive and told me to not do it again.
"Really?" He said, taking his feet off the table in front of him. "'cause you look terrified."
"Me?" I said, somewhat happy that my voice was back to normal. "I ran all the way here, I probably look out of shape." I tried to joke, but it was so unlike me Dante could already tell something was wrong.
"You sure?" He didn't believe me, his questioning was proof enough.
"Of course!" I said, a bit too cheerfully. "Any pizza left?" He nodded to the box and I scrambled over, stuffing a piece in my mouth before I could tell him what I had seen. I wanted to spit it out when I bit into black olives, but resisted and swallowed it as much as I could without tasting. Once I was almost finished my third piece, Dante spoke up again.
"You're eating more than you have the whole time you've been here." That halted my rapid descent upon my fourth piece.
"Well…" I said, "It's policy at my work to not eat on your break." It was almost true, you weren't allowed to eat very much. Dante still didn't believe me, you could see it in the way he surveyed me, and the way he chewed slowly.
"Sure." I couldn't get the image of the dog out of my head, or of whatever had been coming out of it. Brendan, my Brendan, might end up like that. Maybe the rash would simply kill him while something ate out his vital organs, leaving nothing. Maybe he would become the thing that ate the insides. If anything, finding him and helping him became a priority. Brendan was my responsibility, my love. My heart washed the feeling of loving him through me and despite what I'd seen, I could feel my muscles relax. I sighed loudly, Dante eyeing me with a confused expression on his face.
"I'm going upstairs." I told him, my voice quiet as my head became foggy. As I headed upstairs, I realized this had been my defence mechanism while living with Brendan. At night, when he was always with me, I would let this feeling wash over me and it probably prevented me from going into a depression. Except for the one night, the memory lit a fuse, that he told me I wasn't enough for him. I couldn't love him anymore, and he had told me the one thing that would destroy me. I didn't go to my room. Instead, I headed down farther than that, to the window at the end of the hall. The view of the area was better and I stood there on my tiptoes, glaring down at the cement. My stomach churned when the dog image went through my head. I had to find Brendan and I had to do it now.
"Bell!" I jumped at the sound, glad I hadn't made any noise to go along with it. "I'm going out!" I clutched to the window sill, before yelling down.
"Okay!" I hoped it hadn't sounded as shaky as I felt. I heard the door close and silence envelope the area around me. Gently, I pried my fingers off the windowsill and headed downstairs. I scanned the area, listened intently, and walked over to the huge cabinet near to the desk. I flung it open and stared at a dual pair of pistols, one slightly darker than the other. Every weapon place, even the empty ones, had names above them and I quickly glanced over the plate: "Ebony and Ivory".
I picked them up, almost feeling out of my body as I grabbed the guns, tested the weight of them in my hands. I could hear the two voices inside my head. I was so conflicted about taking them that my thought process had turned into two separate beings, yelling arguments at each other in my head. If I took the guns, I could go back and investigate, actually having something to defend myself with. But, this was stealing, from Dante.
I stopped then, as I thought his name, and the one side cheered at the victory. I was stealing, from Dante, the guy who had taken me into his home with only the knowledge of my name. I thought of Brendan next, trying to push the idea of betrayal from my thoughts. I had to move now, my life be damned, or he would be gone forever. Still, I couldn't move from the spot as I stared at the two guns in my hands. I forced the opposing voices in my head away and hopped upstairs. Lady always had holsters on her pants and I knew she wasn't home.
If I'd felt bad about stealing from Dante, I felt worse when I had to steal from Lady and make it a double take. I found the shorts quickly and slid them on almost just as fast. They fit on a bit snugger than they probably would have on Lady, but they fit. I fit the guns into the two holsters, happy to see that they both fit. I kept pushing it out of my mind that I was betraying Dante and Lady again. I wanted to say I was more like 'borrowing' these things, but I wasn't sure if I was coming back.
Downstairs was silent as I slipped on my shoes and took the coat I had from last time, it effectively covering most of the holsters. I looked around the place one more time, stuffing my hands in my pockets. I wanted to come back here, I really did, but I couldn't help but remember a time when I'd relied on only one person. A person who had been my life, my love, my only future. Even if he hadn't wanted a part of it, Brendan still deserved to have a future. With my mind set, somewhat abruptly, I strode outside.
The streets were just as deserted as they had been when I had come home from work. With my heart pounding as I came upon it, I strode to where I had seen the dog before. I pulled out one of the guns, realizing just then I hadn't stopped to see if it had any bullets, and aimed it at the carcass. It wasn't moving anymore, but I couldn't be sure that thing had really left. Inching slowly closer, my eyes adjusting still to the dim light, I prodded it with my foot. Nothing.
I was about to lower the gun when I heard something behind me. I turned around wildly, looking frantically around for something to shoot at. Still, there was nothing and the only sound in the area was my own laboured breathing. I tried to take deeper controlled ones, just so my hands would stop shaking. Another noise, this time from my right and I turned there. I couldn't see anything, even though I knew I couldn't be hallucinating. I took a quick glance at the dog again and froze. It wasn't there; it had disappeared. As I lowered my gun, in confusion and in shock, I heard a growl sound through the area. I couldn't pinpoint the location, but I looked all around me. I searched every place I could set eyes on, and still I could find nothing.
It hit me then how stupid of an idea it had been to go out on my own; I could neither help nor save Brendan if I was dead. Still, I couldn't convince my feet to run away. They were glued to the spot, tensed and ready to spring on anything. I couldn't tell if it was instinct or just my own fear. It was then that the growl sounded again, except much closer. I whirled around almost too late. The pain sprung up through my leg as I fired at the dog attached to my leg. It was the one I'd seen before, except alive. The iris' of it's eyes were red and the rash had scabbed and hung off the dogs body that I could see between the patches of hair. I had to take three more shots at it before I even fazed it. Even then it took only two steps back as I stumbled away from it. I couldn't kneel down to see how bad my injury it was without taking my eyes off the creature.
"The girl…" I recognised the voice almost instantly and turned to my left to see one of the men before, his head cocked to the side. "The one from before."
"He calls her Bell." The other one was here too, on my other side. They sniffed the air, almost in unison as my eyes flickered back to the growling dog in front of me. No escapes were left for me, but I couldn't just give in like this.
"Where is he?" I was proud of the growl in my voice, but their own snarls almost snapped my bones in fear.
"Why don't you come with us, we'll show you." The first one said, his teeth glinting in the dim sunlight. His claws weren't dripping anymore, but they were yellow and stained from what I could tell. I felt that queasy feeling build up in my stomach.
"She smells delicious." The other commented and I quickly took out the other gun, holding one in each of their directions. "Oh, so scary darling." He grinned wildly and I couldn't repress the shudder that rolled up my spine.
"Those bullets won't kill us, want to try?" They still came closer and I felt the despair pull over my head.
"Stop!" I demanded, my voice staying still even though I could feel my legs shaking underneath me, my injured one already caving slightly.
"You have spilt blood," The first one started, "I couldn't stop even if I wanted to." I looked into his eyes, trying to send threatening messages through my eyes, hoping beyond hope that maybe it was an alpha thing. His eyes looked the same as before, if not worse. The second had only one eye, the other covered by his scabby flesh that had healed over it. The three things were closing in on me and I could feel my heart trying to beat out of my chest, maybe soon it actually would be.
"This is becoming too much of a routine." One guy was knocked down in an instant and despite my fit of shock I turned to start firing bullets in the second as fast as I could while stumbling backwards. The dog lunged, but a sword swiped through the middle of it. I recognised the voice as Dante's already and came to a cease fire when he appeared in front of me, his back facing me. "You picked the wrong night to feed."
"Give me the girl." The guy creature demanded, sticking out a hand with long claws. "Brendan is calling for her. I won't hurt her." Dante snorted and jumped. The 'wait' and 'stop' stuck in my throat as I tried to grasp the fact all he was telling were lies. My one jumpstart to really finding Brendan and I couldn't even solidify that. The creature, the one who had once been a boy, was slaughtered in an instant. Dante just stood there, sword in hand, before turning and bending down in front of me. His hands flashed over my wound and I shuddered.
"What were you thinking?" He asked, too calmly for the Dante I knew.
"I thought… I could figure out how to get to Brendan from here." Dante didn't say anything, just kept looking over my wound.
"It was stupid." I'd known that already, had known that long before I ever truly realized it, but hearing it come from him caused anger to build up inside myself.
"Brendan needs me." I ground out, for what seemed like the hundredth time. "Time is running out."
"You have no time." Dante snapped, grabbing my shoulders as he stood up as if to shake me. "He's gone."
"No!" I screamed, wanting to clap my hands over my ears to block out his lies. "You told me there was time."
"Look at those two! That's what he's become." Dante was trying to make me see reason, but I couldn't let go of the only connection I really had to my past; my whole life.
"Then maybe I should become that too!"
"What are you talking about now?" He growled and I stood taller.
"I belong with him; in any shape or form."
"In death?" He spat and I knew he saw it as a way for me to be giving up. He didn't understand what it felt like to be helpless to help someone you loved; he wouldn't be saying this. "That's what he is, Bell. He's dead."
"No, I can save him." I said, feeling tears of frustration gathering in my eyes. "I know I can. You said you'd help me."
"How am I suppose to help you when you go around running away and stealing my stuff?" He grabbed my wrist and yanked it up so the gun still clutched there was between us. I yanked it back, my wrist sliding easily from his grip.
"We have to find him."
"It's too late." He said again and I finally gave him a push, my hands releasing the guns and connecting with his chest. I caught him off guard for a moment as he stumbled back, but he grabbed my hands and held them there. I tried to stumble away but he pulled me closer until he could wrap his arms around me.
"You made me wait." I yelled, hoping I was hurting him. "It's your fault."
"He was gone the moment he contracted that rash you told me about."
"You said that woman who could see the future said." I was barely aware how close we were, having stopped struggling against his embrace.
"Not everything she said is true." He said, taking a deep breath after he said so.
"Please, Dante." I resorted to begging, not knowing what else to do. "Help me help him."
"How many times do I have to say this?"
"Prove to me he's all gone." I said firmly, "I won't believe he's gone unless you can prove it."
"Bell." Dante started, closing his eyes. "Why can't you believe he's gone." I thought for a moment, not knowing if I could truly say it out loud.
"He's the one I love; the one I'd do anything for; my only." I said, in simple words that didn't hold what I wanted to say. Everyday I reminded myself how much I loved Brendan, refusing to believe there was anything else for me.
"He can't be the only one you belong with." Dante said, and it sounded much softer than everything else he'd said. His grip tightened on me and I closed my eyes sharply, not letting the words sink into my brain.
"He's all I know." Neither of us said anything after that, and I slowly brought my arms up to embrace him back. I didn't know how long we stood there. It could've been a few minutes, or a few hours, all I knew was that standing there in Dante's arms made me forget all about saving Brendan. It made me forget all about what had just happened and how scared I had been. All I could think about was my future, without Brendan by my side. Instead, I saw a strong man with silver hair and pale blue eyes. Instead of spending a lifetime in an apartment, scraping by on pay checks, I saw an easy life filled with children and indulging in hobbies.
Instead of a dead end future, I saw one filled with possibilities. I gripped Dante closer. I couldn't tell if I was kidding myself for being so hopeful. I could hope all I wanted, but Dante was not the one for me. Brendan and that lifestyle was where I was suppose to lie; in all its painful realities.
