I walk down the empty corridors after school. I always like to wait until most of the people have disappeared home, because I love to wander down empty corridors. You can be yourself! When you are walking from classroom to classroom, people stare at you.. They judge you when they don't even know you! Well, at least that's how it is with me..
I always notice all the minor details too. Like the lame posters they put up around.
I gaze at a nearby pink one. 'Can't isn't a word' Technically it's an abbreviation..
I can't remember where the lockers are.. I know this school back to front, but only the classrooms.. I don't find it important to remember where a certain set of blue lockers are.
I can, however, vaguely remember where the girl's bathroom is. If I have remembered rightly; I should turn down the end of this corridor then straight on.
I take a sharp right and gaze at my shoes, wondering what it is that Craig wants to give to me. Maybe it's jewellery, or coffee! Maybe it is something different.. Maybe it's a kiss.. Craig is rather perverted like that. I smile to myself and look up as I know I am nearing the lockers.
Then, I see a sight that hurts me more than anything has ever pained me before.
A boy, leant against a wall, his skinny, but muscular figure pressed against a girl's slim one. His hat is off and the girl is running her hands through his hair.
Jay and Craig.
Craig's hands are around Jay's waist. Her leg is bent, her toes pointing towards the ceiling. My world is black. All I can feel right now is a mixture of pain, anger, depression and confusion. I feel sick, too and completely empty. Like my heart wants to give in, climb up my throat and out of my mouth. All I can hear is the sound of my own heartbeat. Suddenly, a noise disturbs the make-out scene and makes all three of us jump.
My cell phone. I have a text. Good timing…
Craig glances in the direction of the noise and his mouth drops open. Jay looks at me too, but no look of compassion shows in her face, all I can see there is ice. Her gaze looks so sharp that it could shatter glass. Craig staggers forward looking confused.
"Tweek.. It's not.. It's not what it looks like!" Craig says, his voice crackling slightly as he moves closer to me.
"Yeah, neither are you, Craig!" I yell, backing away from his outstretched arms. "Is this what you wanted to show me? I get it Craig. Thanks for breaking it to me gently.." I mutter, trying to prevent my eyes from filling with tears. Craig takes a step closer to me, touching my arm, lightly with his hand. I jolt away from his touch and before he can utter another word, I speed out of the school, twitching furiously.
The cold air outside hits my watery cheeks and makes them sear with pain. I don't even bother to attempt to stem the flow of water streaming from my green eyes. I try to run as I do not want Craig caching up with me and talking to me. Telling me how sorry he is.
How fucking sorry.
I kick a bin as I run. My body feels too heavy for my legs and my head is swimming. I feel so, so sick. I need to stop and rest. My legs are hurting.
I stop at an alley way a few blocks from my home and stand against a wall in the dark next to a dirty dumpster. It would be nice to enter the warm glow of my front room, but not nice to endure the attack of questions and intrusions of my parents. I can't be bothered having any human contact at the moment for the simple reason that human contact hurts.
God, emotions suck.
Suddenly, I hear crunching footsteps and heavy breathing. I can't dart out from my hiding place, for whoever it is will surely see me, so I shuffle backwards into the shadow of the dumpster and hold my breath.
As the footsteps draw nearer I begin to see the tip of a large shadow appear on the snow in front of me, I also hear muttering that makes me sure of the figure's identity.
"Stupid Jew rat! I hope he chokes on his god-damn kosher food!"
Eric Cartman. No doubt about it.
