Miss Holliday Goes to Dalton
Hello, hello! Hope everyone's well. Let's just get to it: Glee does not belong to me, no matter how many wishes I make on however many thousands of stars. We're still in a timeline with "Born This Way," more or less; that's due to end after the next chapter, and then we move along to catch up with "Prom Queen." Bits of adult language here and there, no funny business.
Oh, and I have a Livejournal now; I'm a_glass_parade on LJ. I don't know what I'll post there and I mostly got it so I could comment in the kurt_blaine community, but it's there.
Chapter Eight – Thursday, I Don't Care About You
Seeing her ex-boyfriend standing unexpectedly in a doorway at Dalton Academy, all Holly could think was, Today is seriously screwing with me.
She took a deep breath and extended one arm to point past Will's shoulder. "Out."
"Holly, I - "
"Out. Now." She raised her eyebrows and pointed towards the door more emphatically. "You interrupted my conference with my student."
"Hello, Mr. Schuester." Blaine waved, clearly feeling awkward.
"Blaine." Will gave a small wave to the student and a curt nod to Holly. "Fine. I'll be outside."
She crossed her arms and nodded back, waiting until he had closed the doors behind him to sigh and roll her eyes. "Blaine, I'm so sorry. Do you want to - "
"Nah, I'm okay for now, Miss Holliday."
"You sure?" She searched his face, relaxing a little when he smiled at her.
"Yeah, no, it's fine. I mean, that guy? Just drove two hours to see you. So...raincheck?"
"You're on." Holly held up her fist; the tenor grinned as he raised his own back to bump it. Hitching his bag up over his shoulder, he threw a wave back as he left. "See you after dinner."
"See you."
Blaine hadn't even cleared the door before Will was hustling past him to get back inside. "Holly. We need - "
He didn't get any further before the substitute stalked across the room and jabbed a finger right into the middle of his chest. "Will Schuester, you had better have a fantastic reason for interrupting my conference with that student. And no," she asserted, jabbing a little harder into the striped acrylic blend of his sweater vest, "Being pissy that I didn't tell you I wasn't finishing out the year in Cleveland is not even a good excuse, let alone a fantastic one."
"Ow." Will glared at her as he rubbed the newly sore spots on his chest. "When did you get mean?"
"When did I tell you I was nice?" she countered. "Ugh. Never mind. Will, what are you doing here?"
"I came to see you!"
"Yes, getting that, thank you. Why?"
"May I sit down?" He gestured towards one of the couches; Holly flapped her hand in exasperated acquiescence. Hitching up his trouser legs, the lanky McKinley Glee Advisor-slash-Spanish teacher settled himself into the dark brown leather and patted the seat next to him. "Wow, these are nice. I wish our choir room was furnished. Join me?"
Standing hipshot and arms wrapped around her waist, Holly shook her head. "I'll stand, thanks. How did you even find out I was here?"
"I overheard Kurt talking to Blaine on the phone yesterday."
"So you were eavesdropping."
"No, I was passing by Kurt after Glee and he happened to be at the part of his conversation where he said, and I quote, 'I still can't believe Miss Holliday is your Advisor. That is so bizarre.' There's only one person not at McKinley that Kurt calls at that time on a daily basis. Wasn't hard to put the pieces together."
"Okay, you know his telephone schedule and you stood there long enough for that whole sentence? That's eavesdropping." Holly paused. "Also creepy."
"No! Come on, Holly. It was an accident." He put on the wounded puppy face that she usually found endearing, but right at this moment in her irritation she thought it was annoying. Plus his chin was just stupid today. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Why was I supposed to? We haven't spoken in a month. I said I'd get in touch the next time I was teaching in Lima. This is Westerville. I know you teach Spanish and not Geography, but as an Ohio native, I did expect you to know that Westerville and Lima aren't exactly neighbors."
"Harsh."
"Irritated." She relented and flopped down on the opposite end of the couch from Will, throwing her hands into the air as she landed. "Look, Will, I'm sorry. But you interrupted a conference with a student who had only just begun to open up to me. It was kind of important."
"With Blaine? What's going on?" He assumed that teacherly concern look that she knew so well.
"Uh-uh. He's not your student – you know I can't tell you anything."
"He's dating one of my students. If it's something that will affect Kurt, I think I have a right to know."
"Sorry, no. Even if I could tell you, I wouldn't. You'd do your helpful teacher meddling thing, and...no." Lacing her fingers together, Holly rested her hands against her eyes. "Besides, I want to know what brought you here, and I only have a little over an hour before the boys come back for the second half of rehearsal. Talk, Schuester."
"You're pulling all night rehearsals outside of competition season? Why?"
"Will." She lifted her right hand up so she could aim a one-eyed glare at her former fling. "You're stalling."
"Yeah." He sighed, leaning over his knees in that way that he did when he was trying to figure out where to begin. She watched out of the corner of her eye as his hands flexed and gripped at nothing while he thought. Just as she was about to ask him what it was about the marble flooring that he found so fascinating, he spoke again. "I am. It's just...I've got a big problem, Holly."
Words rushed out before she could stop them. "No offense, Will, but your life is pretty much one big problem all of the time."
He turned his head to look at her, hurt written all over his face. "You know, I thought we parted on more or less friendly terms – and that you dumped me."
Point to Will. "You're right, you're right. I'm sorry." Dropping her hands from her eyes, she pushed up out of her reclining position. "I've been here for right about two weeks, and...stress is contagious here. I'm totally spending the summer at that sweat lodge in Kalispell."
"That bad?"
"You try teaching in a prep school. It's a whole different ball of wax." With a brush of linen on leather, Holly shifted so that her back was propped up against the far arm of the couch and she was facing Will's profile. "Quit deflecting. Will you please tell me what's going on, since you hunted me down and drove two hours to get here?"
"Are you going to refrain from insulting me?"
She held up her hands in a gesture of peace. "I am a paragon of grace and virtue."
Will let out a snort. "Gonna let that one slide." Letting out a sigh that seemed dragged up from his feet, he dropped his head and mumbled, "I'm going to Broadway."
"I'd hope so. You're going to New York for Nationals, I think it's an arrestable offense if you don't take in a show." Holly yawned and curled one leg under her butt, swinging the other one back and forth along the floor. The swishing sound of boot soles on marble filled the room. This is what he'd come to tell her?
"No, I'm going to be on Broadway. Performing."
She couldn't have heard that correctly. "No way."
"Yeah. I'm in a Broadway show, Holly."
"Wow." She didn't know what else to say. It seemed so unlikely. She had always thought Will was more firmly rooted in Ohio than any one of the state's ubiquitous buckeye trees.
"One of my old classmates – I think I told you about her, April Rhodes? She's written this musical about her life which is...well. Colorful."
"I seem to remember hearing a lot of things about her," Holly mused. "Nothing reputable – and when it's me saying that..."
Will chuckled. "Yeah. So anyway, she came to me, asked me to help her finish it up and the next thing I know, she was asking me to go with her to New York to stage it."
"That's awesome, Will." She leaned over and gave her ex an affectionate punch in the arm. "Go you. So when do you leave?"
"I'm going to Nationals with the kids, and I stay behind afterwards. So in about three weeks."
"So soon." She blinked, a little taken aback. "Have you packed up your apartment?"
"Emma's helping me work on that."
"Oh." Awkward. Holly had dumped Will for several reasons, but a big one had been to clear his way to the doe-eyed guidance counselor he'd never really gotten over. There was a very small part of her that still smarted a tiny bit over that – the same part that had convinced her to break up with him before he could do it to her. "She's so organized, I'm surprised it's still an ongoing process."
He laughed softly. "Yeah. She is pretty incredible."
Nice. She shoved at Will's leg with her free foot, leaving a dusty print on his trousers. "Manners, please. Even if your ex is the one who did the dumping, it's not polite to be all gooey about your new lady in front of her. At least not until a six month post breakup period has passed."
"Oh, God, Holly, I'm sorry. I'm an idiot."
She let the opportunity to agree with him pass. "Eh. I'm teasing. Turnabout's fair play after the two shots I got off."
"Fair enough." Will was staring at his hands again. "You know, that's another thing. Emma and I...we're not together."
She drew back, startled. "What?"
"We're not together. Not yet, I guess...maybe not ever. I don't know, Holly. She's dealing with her issues, I'm going to New York. I personally think the show will close in a matter of weeks, but what if it doesn't? It's not fair to keep her waiting in Ohio."
"What the – what, you've never heard of the internet? Or phones? Lots of people do long distance relationships, Will. That's a cop-out."
"No, it isn't!" The McKinley teacher was open-mouthed in astonishment. "It's the truth. I don't want to string Emma along while I figure out my life. She's got enough on her plate."
It was rather mean – Sue Sylvester levels of mean - of Holly to wonder if all his hair had rooted in his brain and was arresting all logical thought, but she didn't care. At least she had the impulse control not to say it out loud. "Yeah, and you don't think she could use a nice supportive boyfriend while she deals with it, even if he's several hours away?"
"She needs a support system that can be by her side! I'm sure she feels the same way."
"Did you ask her?" She tossed her hair back over her shoulder, glaring as she waited for his answer. When it came in the form of a negative headshake, she lunged across the sofa. This time, her punch to Will's arm was less affectionate and he howled out in pain. "You're right, Will. You are an idiot."
"Jeez, Holly!" The Spanish teacher rubbed his arm as he stared at her, bewildered. "What's gotten into you?"
"How long have you been mooning over that woman?" Grabbing a throw pillow, she began swatting him with it. "She ended up ending her marriage over you, a marriage to an extremely hot and well-off dentist, I might add. And you just – don't – do – anything!" She punctuated each word with a blow from the pillow. "Ending her marriage? It never even got started because of you. You are the most thoughtless man alive."
Will shoved his ex-girlfriend off of him and shot up from the couch like he'd been launched. "I am not! I'm being considerate!"
"You're being a coward!" She jumped up as well, and now they were on opposite ends of the couch, shouting at each other.
"Her marriage just ended! You said so yourself! What do you think I am, some kind of jerk who moves in on vulnerable women?"
Holly was not even going to touch that with a ten foot pole. "What you are, Will Schuester, is as emotionally stunted as a ten year old. I've got students in more functional relationships than you've ever been in."
"Oh, wise words coming from you, the woman whose longest relationship was five dates! You have zero room to talk!"
"At least I know what I want." The thumping of her heels echoed around the room as she strode over to push at his shoulder. "At least I'm capable of emotional honesty. At least I can make decisions. I've got a lot of at leasts, you want to hear more of them?"
Fury was all over Will's face as he glared down at her. "I think I've heard enough. This was a mistake." Turning, he began to make his way to the door, stopping in his tracks as Holly's voice rang out across the sudden stillness of the room.
"Why did you really come here, Will?"
He stopped, hands balled into fists at his sides. "It doesn't matter."
"Like hell it doesn't. You drove all the way here and you're mad enough at something to allow yourself to be dragged into an argument. Why?"
He was silent so long that she began to think he'd never reply. "No one wants me to stay."
"Sorry?"
"No one wants me to stay. Everyone's telling me to go. Sue I expected, but Terri, Shannon, even Emma – they're all telling me to go. No one has told me they want me to stay."
Holly's eyebrows shot up almost to her hairline as his words took the angry wind right out of her sails. "And, what, you thought I - of all people - would be the one to do it?"
He shrugged, still not turning to face her. "It was a long shot."
"Yeah, it was." She folded her arms, looking off into a far corner as she thought of what she could say. "Will, you know no one's telling you to go because they just want you gone, right? I mean, except for Sue. You do know that?"
"I do know that. I just thought it would be nice if there was one person who said, 'No, Will. Don't go.'"
"How misguidedly and naively romantic of you." Holly shook her head ruefully. "I'd tell you to lose your pie-eyed optimism, but you know, it's kind of cute. Useless, but cute."
"If you're just going to be a bi - "
"Okay." She cut him off before he could finish the word that would be guaranteed to set her off again. "No, Will. Don't go."
He turned back to look at her, confused. "What?'
"Don't go." She shrugged, waved a hand carelessly. "Don't go to New York and chase your dream of being on Broadway. Don't leave your tiny little hometown in Ohio to move to the most exciting city in the world. Don't haul yourself out of the wreckage of your marriage and explore a new beginning. Don't do anything but sit around your apartment eating pizza and drinking beer and grading Spanish quizzes until you die, having never left Lima, Ohio."
The look on his face was dazed. "Holly, I don't - "
"Exactly. You don't. Not ever." Now that the fire of anger had drained away out of both of them, she slipped up next to him and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "As a friend, Will – I don't want to see you become so complacent in your life that you not only never chase a single one of your dreams, you never once regret not doing so. You're too good for that."
Will shook his head, a ghost of a smile beginning to form. "Do you always know the right thing to say?"
She smirked. "It's true that I am in fact that good, yes."
"Never change, Holly." He pulled her into a hug and rested his chin on her hair. "Thanks. For everything you said, even when it was harsh. I may not have wanted to hear it, but I sure needed to."
"I know. You're welcome." Squirming her hands up between them, she pushed back a little so she could look up at him and smile. "I'm sorry things didn't work out for us. I'm glad we can be friends, though. I mean, even if we do go from agreement to arguing in sixty seconds."
"Oh, that just makes things eventful." Will was suddenly looking down at Holly with a look in his eyes that she was pretty sure she recognized. Sure enough, when she tried to back up, his hands tightened on her arms and he pulled her closer. Oh, great.
"No, no, no. No way, Will." She shoved back harder, twisting out of his grip. "I'm not the one you want, and I'm absolutely not going to settle for being the one you're with."
"Come on, Holly. Not even one little kiss just to see if the spark's still there?' He stepped forward to take her by the elbow and tried to draw her closer.
"Nope." She tugged her arm back out of his grip and skidded across the floor to put some distance between them. "You're caught up in the passion of the argument and gratitude that I didn't give you pithy crap about staying in Ohio." And presumably, she thought rather pettily, frustration from being no closer to dating Emma the Pure and Chaste than you were when I left you.
"You're going to tell me you're not affected by that passion at all?"
Holly rolled her eyes. Will attempting to be macho was ridiculous. "Believe it or not, no, Will, arguing with my ex-boyfriends when they're being stupid has never really tempted me to fall back into bed with them."
That deflated him a bit, she could see, but he tried to rally. "You really can be mean sometimes." His smile tried to cover his hurt feelings.
"Only when it's deserved." The smile vanished. "Go home, Will. Talk to Emma. Pack up your apartment. And - " A thought occurred to her. "Talk to the kids."
"What?"
"Talk to the kids. New Directions. I bet you haven't, and you should since this affects them too. Besides," she went on, flashing a knowing smile at him, "if anyone's going to ask you to stay, it'll be them...so if that's something you really, actually want, talk to the kids, Will."
Will ducked his head and let that ghost of a smile come back. "Yeah. You're right."
"Not always, but pretty frequently, yes. In this case, definitely."
Silence stretched between them for a long time before he bobbed his head in a nod and turned to really go. "Thanks, Holly. Really. It was nice seeing you."
"You too, Will. Drive safely."
And then he was gone, out the doors, closing them behind him with a soft click and a last sad smile. Holly sagged against the desk she'd ended up by and let a sigh of relief mingled with irritation escape. "That man," she announced to no one in particular, "could make Mother Theresa want to slug him." She hoped it was the last time she'd see him for a while whether or not he went to New York; if he was still that confused over his feelings, she wanted no part of it.
A quick glance at her watch revealed she still had about fifteen minutes before the boys were due back. With a decisive push, she was up and striding over to where she'd left her tote bag, digging in it to pull out her iPod. Three days after coming to Dalton and seeing the ancient cassette player the Warblers had in the rehearsal room, she'd dragged her own little portable stereo up to the school and installed it on one of the mahogany bookshelves. It had an iPod dock, into which she slotted her little device and clicked through it to find the track she wanted.
When Holly and Will had canceled their duet for the Night of Neglect benefit, she'd narrowed her solo choices down to two songs, both clearly intending to send her boyfriend an unmistakable message. In the end she'd gone for letting Will down with a gentle drop rather than a nasty bump and had sung 'Turning Tables.' Tonight was one of those times when she wished she'd gone for her other choice, since Will was prone to moments of complete thick-skulledness when it came to women.
She clicked play and began to pace the room in a prowling stalk as she sang.
Oh, oh oh oh
Oh, oh oh oh
Oh, oh oh oh
Oh, oh oh oh
Keep drinking coffee, stare me down across the table
While I look outside
So many things I'd say if only I were able
But I just keep quiet and count the cars that pass by
You've got opinions, man
We're all entitled to 'em
But I never asked
Impulse led her to scoot up and dance on the Council table, where she'd leave scuff marks the cleaning staff would agonize over for days, wondering when those crazy boys had stopped confining their furniture hopping to the more easily cleaned and repaired leather sofas.
So let me thank you for your time
And try not to waste any more of mine
Get out of here fast
I hate to break it to you babe
But I'm not drowning
There's no one here to save
There was a couch at the left end of the table; carefully, she stepped down onto the arm, then the seat cushions, and then bounced to the floor, using the momentum to slide across the marble and start circling the room as she belted out the chorus.
Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So, you dare tell me who to be
Who died and made you king of anything?
Oh...
You sound so innocent
All full of good intent
Swear you know best
She sang as if Will could hear and understand what she had to say, sang everything she'd held inside in her efforts to let him down easily. She'd been nice – he wasn't a bad guy and she wasn't a mean person. But sometimes, just sometimes she wished she'd been a little more blunt, a little more clear, that she'd been able to get past his aw-shucks demeanor and be more truthful.
It's just that it wasn't Holly's job to help Will Schuester grow up.
But you expect me to
Jump up on board with you and
Ride off into your delusional sunset
I'm not the one who's lost
With no direction, oh
But you'll never see
You're so busy making masks
With my name on them in all caps
You've got the talking down
Just not the listening
And who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be
Who died and made you king of anything?
Holly passed the floor to ceiling windows and glanced out at the swiftly falling darkness as she came to the bridge.
All my life I've tried
To make everybody happy while I just hurt and hide
Waiting for someone to tell me it's my turn
To decide
Back up on the council table, now she hopped from there to a couch to another table and another couch, traveling the furniture filled room like a kid playing Lava Flow, clapping rhythmically along to the track and dancing like no one was watching – which as far as she knew, was exactly the case.
She didn't notice that one of the double doors wasn't securely closed anymore.
Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be
Who died and made you king of anything?
Oh, who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be
Who died and made you king of anything?
Let me hold your crown, babe
Ooh ooh, ooh
Ah...
Holly came to a spinning stop in the middle of the room, dropping her arms and her head as she finished. She felt tired and aggravated, and if it weren't for the fact that the Warblers really needed one more run through of the concert setlist for the night, she'd cancel the second rehearsal and go home to have a good stiff drink.
She wasn't aware that not long after she'd begun, Wes and Blaine had arrived back early from dinner to discuss the farewell number with her. When they heard the music pouring out of the room, they hadn't interrupted – only cracked the door a tiny bit so they could see and hear better, Blaine whispering to Wes about what little he knew about the situation between the two Advisors he'd left on the verge of a nasty argument.
Now that their own Advisor had finished singing, the tenor and the Council leader stood staring wide-eyed at each other, unsure how to process what they'd just heard. The substitute teacher had let the Warblers know in no uncertain terms that she thought they needed her help; Wes and Blaine wondered now if there was a part of Holly Holliday that could use an assist from the Warblers as well.
Author's Note: I really do wish they'd gotten Holly to sing that; I think Gwyneth would have killed it. Anyway, that's "King of Anything" by Sara Bareilles.
