The Heart of a Wolf by IntuitiveIntelligence
A/N: I haven't posted in six months and I really apologize for it. I've been very busy and I'm easily distracted. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed and yelled at me to continue, it means a lot that you are invested in this story. I don't know if I ever mentioned it in a previous author's note or not, but this story was meant to be the second part in a Blood & Chocolate trilogy. I am not sure if I will ever get to the third part, but I definitely will finish this portion.
Chapter Nine: Til' I Hear It From You
Vivian awoke naked and sore in the master bed that she and Gabriel shared. Having no real recollection of getting back to this position she assumed that she either staggered in or Gabriel had carried her. Her body was still smudged with dirt from her tumble in the woods, and all she wanted to do was to take a bath. Snaking her arm out of the covers she reached for her mate only to find a long cold patch of mattress.
She was glad that Gabriel was already gone, it spared her for the time being, the awkward conversation that they desperately needed to have. Rolling out from beneath the sheets she made her way into the restroom and set about restoring herself to a presentable state.
A half-hour later when she emerged clean refreshed and dressed for the day she felt almost ready to talk to Gabriel. He would understand her; he always understood. Recalling the look that he had given her of pure hurt the night before caused knots of guilt to twist in Vivian's stomach making her only want to seek him out more.
He is a good man and is doing his best to be a good leader
As soon as she entered the kitchen her eyes trained immediately on to Isabel who was attempting to make pancakes on the stove and on Gabriel whose hand rested gently on her friend's back as he chuckled softly at her attempts. The green monster reared its ugly head, and the wolf within her growled. It did not matter that she had purposefully made her mate jealous the night before, all Vivian saw now was red.
However her snarl must have been audible to them, because Isabel turned around with a large grin on her flour covered face and Gabriel followed suit with a devilish smirk.
"Glad to see you finally woke up Sleeping Beauty… wouldn't want you to miss my failed attempts to flip a pancake in the air."
Vivian watched as Gabriel smoothly removed his hand from Isabel and walked toward her, enveloping her in a gentle hug before placing a kiss on her forehead. Vivian didn't respond outside of giving him a small smile. If Gabriel noticed her coldness, he said nothing of it.
"Ok… I think I've got it now…" Isabel said as she launched the hotcake in the air and successfully caught it.
"I'VE DONE IT!" She shrieked jubilantly before launching herself at Gabriel and giving him a hug.
"I told you it was all in the wrists." He said proudly.
"You have to have some Vivian… now that I know what I am doing; I think I will make enough pancakes to feed an army."
"I'm sorry, I'm not really hungry."
Vivian left the room wandering outside to the herb garden. She tried to recall the herbs that Aunt Persia had named for her… Chamomile… Something that began with an E, and Burdock Root. Crouching down she began to pull a few of the weeds that had begun to encroach upon the rest of the herbs. That is when she noticed the smell.
It was a sickeningly sweet fragrance with a hint of peppermint. The same smell that the tea Aunt Persia had given her had.
Is it possible that the same herb that she drugged me with was grown here?
Sorting back through the pile of weeds she made, she located the plant that had given off the smell when she had uprooted it. The leaves were slightly fuzzy, and palmately compound in nature. Her amber orbs flitted over the rest of the garden, spotting a whole section where these plants were growing.
I must ask Aunt Persia if this herb served any other purpose medicinally or for cooking for Humans. Otherwise, the only reason to have this vast quantity of herb is if you were a wolf masquerading as a human.
Standing, Vivian brushed the dirt from her jeans and turned abruptly into a warm solid wall, also known as Gabriel's chest. Her nose hurt from the sudden impact, and her hands instantly went up to cover it as tears stung her eyes.
"Are you alright?"
Vivian responded with an 'I'm fine' but her hands obscured her words so it sounded more like "in phen." Gabriel's callous covered hands rested atop her own, pulling them away from her face so he could look her in the eyes.
"I thought we could take the day and talk… I know I haven't been entirely forthcoming with you, and we need to make this work Vivian. We are the Alphas; it's our duty to present a united front to the pack."
"Alright… so talk."
"Not here… we're gonna go on a little trip away from the prying eyes and eavesdropping of the rest."
That is how Vivian found herself seated behind Gabriel on his motorcycle, her hands grasping the firm muscles of his stomach through his lightweight leather jacket as the wind whipped through her hair.
He led her to a part of town she hadn't been to yet, it was beyond the high school and up a steady incline of the base of a mountain. Turning down a dirt path, they came to a car park where only a jeep and a small sedan were situated.
"You brought me here for what reason exactly?" Vivian said as she looked around at the area seeing nothing special about it.
"Viv, you are entirely too impatient. Now come on it's a little bit of a hike, but I figured we could talk on the way there." He held his hand out to her, and Vivian reluctantly took it.
She hated being led around like a toddler, even though Gabriel looked at her and touched her as if she were anything but. They came to a small dirt trail that ascended up the mountain further, and Vivian was thankful she was in such good shape.
"How is school?" Gabriel said lamely.
Do I make you nervous my dear wolf?
"It is what it is. But you and I both know you didn't bring me up here to talk about the high school experience. So talk."
"Straight to the point as usual… Yesterday… what happened?"
"A lot of things happened yesterday, Gabriel, I think you need to be more specific."
"You know what I mean. When you came home, you smelled like….one of them…your shirt was askew…"
"Gabriel do you trust me?"
He didn't answer immediately, instead he fixed his gaze back on to the path ahead of them. In his pause Vivian felt her heart sink. He didn't trust her at all. She must have never held his trust since what happened with Aiden.
"I want to trust you… You don't make it easy to."
"I'm sorry about Aiden, you know that. I bear a scar for my stupidity in that matter, and trust me I know what I could have cost the pack and how I already hurt the pack…. So how long are you going to hold that against me?"
"It's not about him. It's about you repeating past mistakes. We've got a great setup her Viv. It's a chance to start over, start fresh. And we aren't here even a week before you go chasing another meatboy. So tell me, are you always going to be that selfish? Are you always going to put yourself before the pack? Are you always going to defy me and throw it in my face?"
Vivian wanted to scream, laugh and cry at the absurdity of the situation. He was convinced she would endanger the pack again. That she would be so careless with her heart again. Never mind that the man he thought she was panting after was gay. All that mattered was Gabriel had no faith in her. And if he had no faith in her, how could he possibly ever love her like she was starting to love him?
"You're really an asshole you know that." Vivian growled out keeping the tears back before sprinting ahead up the trail away from him.
Gabriel let her go, running a frustrated hand through his hair. He had put his foot in his mouth again and hurt Vivian in doing so. It seemed to be a common theme with him; hurting the ones he loved. Quickening his pace he found Vivian leaning over the fence at the observation area of a large waterfall. Her back was to him, but he could see the defeat in her shoulders.
Stepping up beside her, he pressed his hands on to the rail as he watched the water tumble endlessly over the edge. Finding courage he turned to look at Vivian, only to find her face hardened into an unreadable mask. He tried to find the right words, but was spared breaking the awkward silence for she spoke first.
"His name is Mark… the meatboy that you accused me of screwing… his name is Mark."
"I don't need to know his name Vivian."
"Mark is kind…he's very intelligent… he's unique… he loves art. And he loves to design women's clothing; he has a better sense of a woman than most women."
"What?" Vivian turned to look at him when he made his exclamation, her amber orbs boring into his deep blue.
"Mark is a gentleman. He is a friend and he also happens to be 100 percent gay."
Gabriel swallowed the large lump that had formed in his throat. He had accused his mate of being a common whore without thinking. But damn it if she hadn't led him to believe it was something more!
"Vivian… I am—"
"—A complete and utter jackass? An irrational and hurtful idiot? Take your pick." Vivian pushed him with each insult, her fingers hitting his chest with a bruising strength.
Gabriel finally grabbed her wrist gently, still acutely aware that he had injured her arm the day before. He turned her hand so the palm faced the sky and pressed a kiss to it, his stubble tickling her flesh.
"I am sorry. I've never meant to cause you any pain and you have to know that. You are my mate in every sense of the word, and god damn it, I love you. Every stubborn and proud inch of you…So sue me if I have a hard time believing that you Vivian Gandillon, Princess Wolf, who is perfection in every damn sense of the word can't find someone out there for her, whose better than me. I'm highly aware that I don't deserve you… "
He loves me?! Now I pray to you, Moon goddess, that you shall never let him hurt me again. I cannot bear it, I will not bear it.
"Are you quite finished putting yourself down?" Vivian said tilting his head so that he had to look at her dead on.
Gabriel barely had time to register what was happening before Vivian lunged at him kissing him with all her might. Trying to put everything into her kiss that she was afraid to say in words; it was a kiss of love, of fear and to erase doubt.
When she pulled away, breathing labored, she dared to look up at him to see that his eyes were clouded with lust, and that unnamed emotion she previously bore witness to, she now knew was love.
"You are an idiot and heaven help me, somehow I still love you. Curious thing that…"
Gabriel smiled at her words, with a true genuine smile that seemed to lighten up his normally stoic features and make him seem almost boyish instead of so fierce. Vivian decided she loved that look.
"Now that we've established where we stand, what do we do about the pack?" Vivian said finally.
"The law states you need to become pregnant. And officially you became my mate the night you won the Bitches' Dance. So we have until then… you should be able to finish out high school normally without drawing any attention. The pup will be born in the summer and we'll remain together until a new Alpha is chosen."
"Summer is really not so far away, Gabriel…Its' not a lot of time to get used to the idea of it all…"
Pulling his mate in tight against his chest, he comforted her making small circles on her lower back under her shirt.
"We'll get through this together. We're strong you and me… we'll make it work."
But I am not ready to be a mother.
Vivian was glad that he couldn't see the look of despair on her face. It would only make things more difficult. She wasn't sure how long they stayed in that embrace just enjoying the ambience of the waterfall before they decided to head back to the Inn. As Gabriel needed to make sure the Four weren't slacking off, though Vivian was almost entirely convinced that they would be when they returned.
She parted ways from Gabriel heading into the main house when she felt her stomach grumble. It reminded her that she hadn't really eaten well in the past couple of days and that she needed to remedy that. Creeping into the kitchen she hoped to knick something without Esme noticing.
She was startled to find Isabel however sitting at the kitchen table going through a cook book and marking pages with sticky notes.
"Hiya… what are you doing?" Vivian said lamely as she popped open the fridge to examine its contents.
"Helping your mother plan the Inn's menu by finding some good recipies…There are still some pancakes from this morning on a plate in there if you want them. I made sure that the Four would save you some. I remember that you always loved Ivan's pancakes…"
Vivian stilled instantly, all her muscles going tense. It seemed to be an unspoken rule that you didn't discuss Ivan infront of Vivian or Esme, unless they brought it up first. Clearly Isabel wasn't privy to its knowledge.
"Yeah… they were the best."
"Gabriel is actually a pretty good cook… I thought I'd never be able to flip a pancake without a spatula until this morning."
"I'm happy to hear he could help."
"You lucked out Viv. Gabriel was always one of the better ones, a real man you know? Even back in West Virginia. Not some puffed up peacock like Axle or Rafe, just a good man. And he loves you clear as day… does that man love you. Be good to him, he deserves the best."
I know, I don't need you to tell it to me either.
"You know, I think I'll just wait until dinner. That way I can eat with everyone else. Besides I should probably talk to Aunt Persia."
"Alright…just so long as you do have something to eat. You're rail thin, and to be honest, and I say this as the best and oldest of friends, you look like crap. So if there's time, I'd take a nap if I were you."
"Only true friends call you out on your bullshit." Vivian said with a smile.
"I've missed ya Viv… coming back to the pack was like coming home again."
"I am glad you are back, Isabel… I'll see you at dinner."
As Vivian walked the short distance from the main house towards the small guest cottage that was Persia's residence, she couldn't help but feel that part of her didn't want Isabel back. It wasn't that she didn't love her friend dearly but the way Isabel looked at Gabriel made her nervous. But thinking back to the days in West Virginia, Isabel always spoke fondly of him. Perhaps, Isabel had harbored a crush on him all these long years. If she did, Vivian prayed that she would never act upon it.
