It's what you do, it's what you see
I know if I'm haunting you, you must be haunting me
It's where we go, it's where we'll be
I know if I'm onto you, I'm onto you
Onto you, you must be on to me
Haunted – Beyoncé
Severus sighed quietly as he stepped into the staff room, immediately regretting his promise to Pomona as he crossed the threshold. She wanted to sync a few of their lesson plans again. Foolishly, he'd accepted, and the only break in the schedules that would allow for such a discussion would be that evening.
Naturally, fate had bestowed a throbbing headache upon him to mark the occasion. Though the ache was relatively dull compared to many he'd suffered in the past, it was strong enough to make his stomach twist when he caught the scent of biscuits Minerva had brought up from the kitchens.
He made a mental note to take another anti-nausea potion before dinner if he hoped to eat anything.
"I'm just worried about her, Minerva," he heard Filius say from across the room as Severus busied himself making a cup of tea from the refreshment bar in the back of the room. "She seems like herself but there's something very off about her this term. I'm worried N.E.W.T.s are getting to her."
Without thinking twice, Severus made a mental run through all his female sixth and seventh year students, trying to see if he'd noticed odd behavior from any of them while he stirred cream into his tea. Eyeing the clock briefly, he allowed himself a small bit of relief upon realizing Pomona should be arriving soon. Once their hopefully brief discussion was over, he could go back to his rooms until dinner.
"I've felt the same way," said Minerva, breaking a biscuit into pieces while she frowned in thought. "She just seems to be trying so hard to keep up appearances. I can't help but wonder if it's not classes bothering her at all…"
Severus sipped his tea, frowning. There were so few students who chose to pursue N.E.W.T.s level potions and none of them were coming to mind. He didn't think they could be talking about one of his charges. Though knowing his colleagues' standards, he wondered what course could possibly be causing a young witch such distress if not his own. Minerva's certainly, but the only students she ever had trouble resolving issues with were his Slytherins and he knew none of his sixth and seventh years still taking Transfiguration were having problems.
Septima hummed thoughtfully and gave Minerva a slightly pointed look. "Boy troubles, perhaps? Things seemed to smooth over for a while, I'd thought."
Severus stiffened as her words sunk in, filling him with a sense of dread and unease.
Surely they were not discussing Miss Granger? Not Hermione. Every time he saw her she seemed perfectly normal. In fact, he'd even caught himself foolishly wondering if she might even enjoy his company beyond the level their bond would mandate, as he had grown to with hers.
Severus stayed quiet.
"Well it's not as if anyone knows who her mate is," Minerva said somewhat bitterly. Clearly not knowing what was going on with one of her favorite lions was not sitting well with the Gryffindor head of house. "For all we know they're still separated and Poppy's just found some new potion to help her function through the ordeal."
Severus tried to keep his breathing controlled while his brain kicked into overdrive. He was not sick, yet he felt unwell, seemingly without due cause. The feelings had crept up on him. Fatigue. Annoyance. Nausea. Anger. A persistent, but mild headache. Symptoms, he thought, that lessened when she was near.
But she was always fine when he saw her. She was fine in class. She was damn near chipper when she spent an evening in his rooms with him. Yet they couldn't have been talking about anyone else.
How did he not notice the signs before now?
"Severus?" Minerva called, all but startling him out of his distracted state. "Have you noticed anything unusual about Miss Granger as of late?"
Pomona entered the room as Minerva posed her question, and the plump witch chimed in before he could even think to answer.
"Have you noticed, too?" she asked. "I thought I was reading too deeply into things. You know how studious she is, and with it being her N.E.W.T.s year I figured she'd be frazzled on principle. I just get the sense that something is…off about her lately. And she seemed to be doing so well suddenly, too."
The others murmured in agreement, but Minerva was still patiently waiting for Severus to give his opinion on the subject.
Lies, he decided, were best told when they were thoroughly blended with truth.
"I haven't particularly thought about it," he said. "I expect a certain level of near-insanity from N.E.W.T.s students who actually apply themselves. If anything I'd say she's handling her N.E.W.T.s with far more grace than she handled her O.W.L.s."
There were some murmured concurrences and Severus took advantage of the sudden lapse in gossip to remind Pomona why they were there. After discussing the matter of the next week's lessons in record time, he ignored the speculation behind him —which had turned into a game of deductions concerning the identity of Miss Granger's mate — and all but fled from the staff room.
Once he made it to an empty corridor, he disillusioned himself and stalked towards the Heads' dormitory.
Something was wrong with his witch and he intended to fix it.
AN: Thank you for the well wishes everyone. I'm doing much better, though my voice seems to be running off. Here's yesterday's update :)
