My surgeory went well. I still cant believe i made it. I could feel them. Everthing they did i could feel only i wasnt on the table. I was in the gallery. I watched every thing that went on in the gallery and in the OR. I cant decide who I would agree with though. Jack made a good call by reversing the Hephrim but the percatainious repair is such a dangerous method. Especially since Christina is only a fourth year resident. I would totally be on Alvins side if I hadnt witnessed what i had right after the surgeory. Dr. Sheperd had come into my room with Dr. Grey. They walked up to my bed and had the nurse take away the sedation that was keeping me in a medically induced coma. I remember for a split second i was seeing out of my other me's eyes. I opened them and looked up at Derek. Then as soon as it happened it was over and I was standing across the room looking at Derek, Meredith and myself.
"Emily? Emily i know it hurts but we're going to lower your sedation and check on your nuero function." Derek said "Your checking her paralitics?" Meredith said stepping up to Dereks side "Yes." He said to her and turned back to me putting his finger infront of my face "Okay can you follow me with your eyes?" He said waving the finger back and forth. I didnt respond.
"Okay can you squeeze my hand?" Meredith said taking my hand. Again I didnt respond. "What about one finger? Can you move one finger?" she asked.
For the third time I didnt respond.
"Okay put her back under." Derek said looking at the nurse dissapointedly She pushed something into my IV and the other me was back under.
Derek and Meredith left the room along with the nurse.
I sighed. I think i may be getting somewhere though. I could see out of my own eyes! It was great.
I take a breath and muster up my courage. I tried this last time with a different person and when it didnt work I almost lost my hope.
But the paralitics check made me find the courage to try again.
I take a few tenative steps and stop. I look at my hands. They arnt smokey. They arnt disapating. Thats a good sign.
I walk all the way up to myself and reach out my hand.
I can feel the nervousness start to rise but I have to try this.
I reach farther expecting my hands to ripple into smoke and dissapate. I close my eyes.
I get closer and closer. And i'm met with the feel of a hospital garb. I open my eyes and see that I did it. Laughter fills the room.
I'm elated and my hope is returned. I'm getting somewhere now! This is progress. The surgeory must have been a complete success!
I jump when i hear the door to my room open. Alvin walks in with a cup of coffee in his hands and i want nothing more that to jump and squeel and geek out. I want nothing more than to tell him that my hope is back. That i'm getting somewhere. That i'll be there soon. I almost yelled it when he starts talking to me.
He started talking about how Ive made it so far in my career and life and that i cant give up now. He bows his head and asks if i can do him a favour. If i could just live.
This breaks my heart. I place my other hand on myself to steady myself. All of a sudden i feel wierd and dizzy and shaky. Every thing is spinning and I feel as if ill pass out. Blackness overtakes my vision and i fall foward. The last thing i hear is the heart monitor going crazy.