The Tunnel: Chapter Nine

When Hogan woke up, he looked around and was surprised to see his four men sleeping in cots near him. He looked for Wilson and wasn't surprised to find him dozing by his bedside.

I guess I'll let him stay sergeant. After all, he was only looking after my well-being. I wonder if those stitches are going to scar. Hogan was thinking to himself when Wilson woke up from his nap and saw that his difficult patient was awake.

"Ah, Colonel Hogan. How are you feeling now?" He asked.

"Much better Sergeant. That is, if you still want to be a sergeant; I can stake you down to private again." Hogan said, taking satisfaction in teasing the medic with empty threats.

"I'm fine with Sergeant, sir. How about a late lunch for you sir? You probably haven't eaten for a while and you need to get some of your strength back.

"Sounds great, actually. Is LeBeau sleeping?"Hogan agreed.

"Yes, sir, but I'm sure I could grab something for you from the kitchen…."Wilson started to say when Hogan interrupted him.

"I said I wanted to eat, not die. There are probably guards outside this building right?" Hogan asked, waiting for Wilson to nod before continuing, "Go tell a guard to Colonel Klink that I want to see him, unless you want me to limp over there to talk to him?" the smart colonel prodded the stubborn medic.

"Alright," the medic agreed, " but you must stay in you bed while I go outside, understood?" he asked sternly.

"Yes, mother. I'll stay indoors while it's raining." Hogan teased.

Wilson turned towards the exit and stuck his head outside to talk to a guard; Hogan allowed himself a small grin as he imagined what the results of his request would be. A minute later, Wilson came back towards Hogan, nodding in confirmation of doing his deed.

Meanwhile, in Klink's office, the 'iron eagle' was very annoyed at being disturbed.

Sergeant Shultz was in charge of standing guard outside the infirmary and had the courage (if you call it that) to face Klink with Hogan's (via Wilson) request.

Sergeant Shultz! I had strict orders that I wasn't to be disturbed! I have a lot to do today! What is it that you want?" Klink complained, as usual.

"Sir, Sergeant Wilson has told me to tell you that Colonel Hogan has requested you to visit him. Wilson said it might actually make Hogan get better faster." Shultz replied to his superior.

"Oh, really? Well, in that case, I should go right away to the infirmary, shouldn't I? Alright Shultz, let's go." Klink's ego swelled as he put on his coat and scarf and gathered his riding crop to leave his office.

"Frauline Hilda, I am taking a walk with Sergeant Shultz to the infirmary. I shall be back shortly." Klink told his secretary trying to impress her.

"Jaw-howl, Herr Kommodant." She replied, turning away before he got any ideas.

As Klink and Shultz walked across the compound, everything seemed in place. Prisoners were washing their clothes, playing catch, some were even reading the local newspaper, the Stalag 13 Gazette " (1)

As Klink walked into the infirmary he practically sang, " Hogan!!! I'm here!!!"

"Oh, Colonel Klink…"Hogan rasped (pretending to be sicker that what he really was), "thank goodness….you're here…I have..a..question to ask…you."

"yes Hogan, what is it?" Klink prodded.

"Need..helicopter to..London. Can I borrow…the one the…little corporal..with the mustache… owns?" he finally finished what he wanted to say.

"HOGAAN!!!" Klink yelled, " you dragged ME all he way over here for you to say THAT?????"

"Sir…I thought it…was a reasonable..request." Hogan replied.

"Request Denied! Dou you have anything else to say?? I am very busy with paperwork and don't have time to fratenize with the enemy." Klink announced, frustrated.

"Kommodant, I'm hungry!!!" Hogan whined.

"Then have Sergeant Wilson get you something from the mess hall." Klink shot back.

"I didn't say I wanted to die; I said I was Hungry." Hogan retorted, "Can you make me scrambled eggs with bacon"

Klink walked over to Wilson and muttered to him, "Sergeant, is this man delirious?"

Wilson, who was having trouble controlling his laughter, replied, "I'm not so sure Kommodant. He wasn't before you came in!"

Before Klink could reply, a muffled voice for one of the occupied beds called out, " Hey! I was sleeping! Oh! Colonel Hogan! You're awake- boy we were so worried!"Carter had woken up. "HEY GUYS! The Colonel's awake!!!!" the overly eager sergeant set to work waking Newkirk, LeBeau and Kinch.

Soon enough, Colonel Hogan was surrounded by his men, Wilson and a thoroughly baffled Klink and Shultz.

What seemed like a second later, the infirmary was a din with everyone trying to speak to Hogan at once.

"At ease men." Hogan ordered and suddenly it was quiet. He then addressed Klink. "Colonel Klink, thank you for coming out to wake up my men so they can start digging a new tunnel. And now Corporal LeBeau can make me a meal I won't die from. Shultz, Klink, DISMISSED." He crisply (as he could) saluted and watched as they left the building and waited until Klink came yelling in. He didn't have long to wait.

Less that a minute later, Klink came storming into the building, followed by an out-of –breath Shultz.

"HOGAN! I am the Kommodant of this camp and I say 'dismissed!" He pointed out to Hogan.

"sorry Kommodant, what can I say? I'm delirious." Hogan replied with a smirk.

"HOGAN! Dismissed!" Klink shook is fist at him and left in a fury.

Once Klink was out of earshot, Hogan's men cheered and laughed in relief knowing that Hogan was going to be all right.

"alright men, settle down. LeBeau, do you think you can make me something quickly? I'm starved. Wilson, I know you're not going to let me get out of bed, so my men and I are going to plan right here. And NO more pain meds- I need to say as alert as possible to work this operation. Carter-I need to talk to you, then. Newkirk, is the tunnel restored yet? Hogan asked, suddenly exhausted with taking command of the operation.

Boy I need a furlough. He thought to himself.

"Colonel, I will make you the most delicious scrambled eggs with spam you have ever tasted." LeBeau replied before heading off to the camp kitchen to get the supplies he needed.

"the tunnel is finished, govnor. Kinch and I were just about to go check it." Newkirk reported before he and Kinch left to inspect.

Wilson retreated to his desk muttering about 'thick-headed Colonels' and Carter and Hogan were alone.

"Colonel… I could have killed you with that bomb…I don't think I should be your demolitions man anymore. Boy, I could cause serious…."Carter started rambling before Hogan cut him off.

"Carter. I'm NOT accepting your resignation. You're the best demolitions man I've ever met. Will you stay with the team, please?"Hogan asked, adding, "Before I order you to?" just loud enough for Carter alone to hear.

"Gee, colonel, you sure?" Carter asked.

"I'm positive, Carter," Hogan confirmed, "Why don't you go see what's left of your lab now and try to make a few more bombs?"

"Sure, Colonel. Piece of pie." The young man answered.

"Cake, Carter, Cake!" Hogan reminded him, trying hard not to laugh at the constant mistake.

Once only Hogan and Wilson were the only ones in the infirmary, the persistent medic walked over to Hogan to examine him, yet again.

"Does anything hurt? " the medic asked, probing Hogan's abdomen expertly.

"My ribs still do, as does my leg." Hogan answered truthfully.

"I'm not surprised. Your ribs will heal fast if you don't get up or move around a lot. As for your leg, it's broken- it will take about a month until it's completely healed. You'll probably have to use a cane or crutched for a while." Wilson diagnosed.

"Alright." Hogan said, not truthfully. There was no way he was going to use a cane or crutches for a month. He would rather escape first.

Just then, LeBeau came in, carrying a tray of delicious smelling food. He expertly laid the tray in Hogan's lap and waited to hear his commanding officer's praise.

Hogan took a bite and chewed it slowly taking in the delicious taste before swallowing.

"LeBeau-this is the best breakfast food I've had in a long time!!!"

"Merci, Colonel." LeBeau took the compliment and then left to let Hogan eat in peace.

(1). The Stalag 13 Gazette is an amazing, halirious story by Snooky-9093, used with permission