Chapter 9

Chuck looked at his display showing the current status of the orbiting Wraith ships, as he had been doing for the past four hours since the jumper had returned. He was not sure they were doing what they appeared to be doing, so he hesitated to call Dr. Weir. Then the radio crackled to life and he heard a voice he did not expect to ever hear again. The command staff had not said much about what the deal was with the strange bearded guy, but the grapevine had put enough together to give a tolerably accurate picture of what was going on, not to mention the fact that the Wraith had asked for him by name. He knew that Arthur had been taken out to be turned over to the them, apparently by his own request, and he knew that Colonel Sheppard's team had come back and that no rescue was planned. All this pointed to Arthur's departure being something on the other side of permanent, yet here was his hesitant, rather shaky voice coming over Chuck's headset.

"Er, hello? Anyone there? I had those Wraith people set me down here, and the radio was where you said it was, so..."

"Mr. Dent, is that you?" said Chuck, keeping his voice calm.

"Ah, yes, it's Chuck, isn't it? How are you? Could you ask the Colonel or someone to pop over and get me? I'm not feeling terribly well, I'm afraid."

Chuck hit the intercom button. "Doctor Weir and Colonel Sheppard to the gate room!" he called, unable to keep the excitement from his voice any longer.

They came walking in rapidly, questioning looks on their faces, followed by McKay, Teyla, and Ronon.

"It's Mr. Dent," said Chuck, "he's on the Athosian frequency, calling from the mainland. He wants someone to 'pop over' and pick him up."

Teyla, McKay, and Weir stood stock-still, jaws slack. Ronon's eyebrows lifted perceptibly. Colonel Sheppard, however, sprang into action, almost running for the jumper bay.

"Oh, by the way," said Chuck, almost as an afterthought, "the hive ships in orbit are leaving, and the ones still on the way have turned around."

Chuck wished he had a feather, so he could have knocked them down with it.

XXXXXX

"This is Sheppard. Have a medical team standing by when I get to the jumper bay."

"Is Arthur all right?" asked Teyla over her headset.

"Ahhhh, yes and no. I'll let him, uh, explain."

The team and Weir strode into the jumper bay behind the med team, and waited as they entered the jumper, only to hear Arthur's protests over their attention.

"No, no, honestly, I'm quite all right, I wasn't feeling well a while ago, but the ride in this contraption has set me up amazingly. I also had one of those- what was it, Colonel?"

"Power bar."

"Exactly. And I feel much, much better. Please, I would just like a shower, honestly. I would reeeealy like a shower."

The med team exited the jumper, followed by Arthur with a blanket around his shoulders and Sheppard, who looked strangely uncomfortable. Teyla was unable to contain herself, and went forward, drawing Arthur into an embrace and hugging him tightly. She felt him stiffen as she pressed against his chest.

"Agh, Teyla, this is wonderful of you, but..." She pulled back, looking down and noticing blood spotted on his t-shirt where the blanket had fallen open.

"You have been fed on!" she cried, aghast.

"Oh, er, is that what you folks call it in this galaxy?" he said, blushing furiously. Then he saw where she was looking. "Oh, oh, that. Where she put her hand. Yes, yes, I suppose, I'm not sure."

Sheppard had collapsed in silent mirth on the ramp of the jumper after Arthur's pronouncement. "You better tell 'em the rest," he said in between gasps.

"Perhaps somewhere more private?" said Weir, garnering a grateful look from Arthur. The group headed for the conference room.

XXXXXX

"This place is starting to feel quite homelike," said Arthur, looking around the conference room. He seemed to have slipped into a bit of a daze during the short walk from the jumper bay.

"Arthur," prompted Sheppard.

"Oh, uh, yes, what happened. Of course..."

The others stared.

"Well, Doctor McKay, you were quite right, what I said is, indeed, a deadly insult in their language."

McKay smirked and folded his arms in satisfaction.

"But it turns out that the Wraith have some... odd ideas of the uses of insults." Arthur paused lengthily.

"Well what the hell is that supposed to mean?" exploded McKay.

"Erm," said Arthur, blushing again, "I accidentally, ah..."

"Well?"

"... Initiated a courtship ritual."

A diverse array of reactions greeted this revelation. Teyla looked horrified, Ronon disgusted, McKay amused, and Sheppard seemed torn between all three. Weir's mouth twitched, but she remained otherwise outwardly impassive.

"Please go on."

"Eh, must I...?"

"Please."

"Well, she was initially quite angry with me, and I have to admit there were a couple of moments when I thought I might have to do something unexpected to salvage the situation, but I, um, paid her some rather nice compliments-"

"You WHAT?"

"Shaddup, Rodney." Sheppard motioned for Arthur to continue.

"Well, I said some nice things to her about... things, her hair and so forth, and she started, ah, doing things..."

"Like what things?" asked McKay, fascinated in a traffic-accident kind of way.

"Just... things. Things, ah, men and women... do. Surely you can use your imagination-"

"NO!" the rest shouted in unison.

"Oh, very well, then," said Arthur, finally losing his temper a bit. "She threatened to kill me for my 'insolence,' so I told her what a lovely Wraith Queen she was and how much I'd always wanted to meet a woman like her. She seemed to take that well and explained that if I 'pleased' her she would let me live and not destroy the planet and all of you lot with it. So I said some more nice things and then I- what was that phrase you used on the ship, Colonel?"

"'Took one for the team.'"

"Yes, I took one for the team. I must say I don't appreciate some of the looks I'm seeing here. That woman bites."

"Yet you managed to... 'please' her, Arthur?" Teyla's voice was carefully modulated to avoid being accusatory.

"Yes, yes I did, by God, and I must say I am rather proud of myself under the circumstances. That thing she did with her hand hurt quite a bit at first. Also, I would like to point out that, in my personal timeline, it has been over six years since my last intimate moment with a woman. That weighs on a fellow. Honestly, what is the problem? That I shagged the woman or that I might have enjoyed it? Because I had to, didn't I? If I hadn't, I couldn't have... pleased her. And if I hadn't pleased her, we wouldn't be talking now, would we?"

"Arthur," said Weir, "we all appreciate your... sacrifice-"

"No, no, I don't really think you do. I don't think you think it was a sacrifice at all. After all, I could have asked you please to send me back to whatever that planet was you found me on to wait for the rift to get me home, instead of doing what I did, I suppose. But I didn't want to leave you in the lurch, as it were, especially since I accidentally sort of caused it, so I went up there and sorted things out. And I did it by making a Wraith Queen scream my name! I'd like a shower now. I'm very tired."

Arthur got up and left.