THEN THERE WAS LIGHT

CHAPTER 9

Dean began to calm, his body relaxed, his arms loosened, and his shakes turned to slight trembles. His breathing showed signs of evening out and the wild look in his eyes began to fade.

"Shall we begin?" Wild Horse stood as he spoke.

The fear was back on Dean's face.

Wild Horse sat on the edge of Dean's bed, causing him to push himself away a little, giving him space between them. Sam had sat on the other side of Dean, keeping him from moving too far away from Wild Horse.

"Dean, I need you to trust me." Wild Horse began to speak. "I'm not going to lie to you, or make any half-truths. This is not going to be comfortable."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Great, and the fun just keeps on coming."

"In fact." Wild Horse continued, ignoring Dean's comment. "You're going to have to fight, like you've never fought before." He placed a hand on Dean's shoulder, then pulled back with shock. "I take that back, maybe you have fought this hard before."

Dean and Sam were both shocked by his reaction when he touched Dean. It was like he could sense something, feel his life in the palm of his hand.

"I'm sorry." Wild Horse continued, sympathy taking the place of the harshness his voice once held. "This is the only way, if it's the curse that I think it is, and judging by what Sam had told me, I'm sure it is, there is no other way to stop this. I wish there was, you of all people deserve an easier path."

Dean's forehead drew up in a mixture of confusion and protest, but he didn't say a word. When Wild Horse had touched him, not only did he feel something from Dean, but Dean felt something as well. It was emotions, that he hadn't been able to feel. He had a mixture of every emotion known to mankind flood into him with the touch.

After a moment of silence, Dean spoke up. "So, can we just get the show on the road, I really don't like all the dialog anyhow."

"Dean." Sam stopped him, knowing that was his way of saying he was feeling uncomfortable and scared.

Dean just rubbed his face with his hands, watching as Wild Horse stood from the bed, grabbed his bag of items and made his way to the table. He mixed a few things together in the bowl, slicing down his hand to add his own blood, then held the knife out to Dean. "You wanna do it, or do you want me to?" Dean held his arm out, allowing Wild Horse to make a straight line across it and let Dean's blood drip into the bowl before covering his new wound with a towel to stop the bleeding.

"Apparently, hurting yourself is wrong, even under obedience." Dean mumbled under his breath while he let Wild Horse do the cutting for him.

Sam just rolled his eyes. He knew this was only temporary and his brother would remember everything soon enough. The thought put a strange twinge in his chest. Dean was right, it was better for him to not feel the pain, but Sam was also right, he couldn't deny Dean the feeling of joy either. Plus, the whole cave monster thing, kinda made this important.

Wild Horse mixed the contents, and added them to a glass of water, handing it to Dean. Dean looked up at him, confused. He pushed the glass closer to Dean and he hesitantly took it out of his hands. Still, looking at Wild Horse confused.

"Drink it." Wild Horse said and he pushed Dean's hand toward his mouth.

"You want me to drink…this?"

"Yes. That is why it is mixed with water and in a glass."

Sam couldn't help but smirk at Wild Horse's sarcastic response.

Dean sat, his eyebrows raised, his face questionable.

"Drink!" Wild Horse commanded.

Dean took a deep breath and downed it as quickly as he could, gagging on the taste once he was done.

"Keep it down."

"Dude! You could have warned me first."

"It is made for a cure, not for taste."

Dean just rolled his eyes again as his body attempted to gag the liquid back up.

"Keep it down."

"I heard you the first time!" Dean snapped back.

Wild horse took a feather and brushed it through the air around Dean, chanting some words he couldn't understand. The more he chanted and waved the feather around him, the more Dean started to gag. He had to fight to keep it from coming up, a few times, he ended up swallowing back down what had come up into his mouth.

He wasn't sure when, but at some point, he had made his way off the bed and was on his hands and knees, dry heaving onto the floor. His whole body shook and tensed under the force of what ever was going on in the air around him.

The chanting was so loud, it was starting to make his ears feel like they were burning. He opened his mouth to speak, to call for Sam, to tell them to stop, but his mouth felt like sandpaper and his body collapsed onto his stomach. He couldn't control it, couldn't stop the shaking.

The images started coming in like a flood. They were more than just memories, more than just images, they held the very emotions that were attached to them. The physical and mental feelings filled him like a flood. He was sure he was crying out, but wasn't sure if he could hear himself or not over the chanting.

He didn't have time to acknowledge each individual memory, there were thousands of them that flooded him in a matter of seconds. The pain unbearable, the heartache made his heart feel like it was going to explode. The tears. Oh, god, was he crying? He was sure he was crying, and maybe screaming? He had to be screaming, the pain was too much, too unbearable, to not be screaming, or crying. His body shook. He thought to himself, this must be what having a seizure felt like. He could feel his own body shaking hard enough that it was lifting him off the ground, then dropping him back down.

The chanting turned into screaming. Screaming from every angle, from everywhere. Screaming, he was sure the burning in his ears was causing them to bleed. He had felt it before. He couldn't exactly remember the details, but he knew this whole ordeal had caused his ears to bleed before. That can't be good, can it?

'Don't sleep, don't sleep, don't sleep'.

Started running through his mind. He fought, he tried to open his eyes, but he didn't seem to be able to. Or, maybe they were opened? Maybe his eyes were just rolled in the back of his head? How could he be sure? He couldn't let himself fall asleep, but, why? Why couldn't he sleep? Something about some cave monster. But, wasn't this hell he was going through right now supposed to stop that? Maybe it would be okay to sleep now? He was sure it wouldn't hurt so bad if he just slept.

His breathing was uncontrollable. He was taking fast, shallow breaths. At times, he felt like he couldn't breathe at all, other times, he felt like he could breathe, just not deep enough, not getting enough oxygen to satisfy the burning in his lungs.

The… burning… in his lungs… the… pain… in his head… the… fire… in his ears… the… shaking… of his body… the… beating… in his chest… the… sickness… in his stomach.

He couldn't take anymore, he couldn't! He needed it to stop.

'Fight, don't go to sleep, fight, don't go to sleep, fight.'

Started running over and over again in his head. He fought to withstand the pain that was filling his body, not just filling it, but overflowing. He needed to open his eyes. He didn't remember why, but he knew it was important. It felt like they weighed a ton, like they were glued shut, but somehow, he needed to open them.

Each time he tried, his body just shook more, harder. But, he knew he couldn't give up. He had to fight, had to stay awake, had to fight.

He needed to breathe, he couldn't breathe, panic started setting in as he tried to take a breath, but there was nothing, no air. Was he dead? Was he dying?

'NO! he needed to fight, needed to stay awake. Can't die. Sammy needs me, can't die! Fight, damn it, Dean, you have to fight. You have to stay awake, open your eyes. Sammy needs you. You have to fight, have to stay awake'.

Dean was fighting with himself, in his own head.

Pain, pain, pain, pain…. that's all he could feel was an overwhelming sense of pain.

Fight, fight, fight, fight… he knew he had to fight it, no matter what, he had to fight.

Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up… he needed to wake up, for whatever reason, he needed to open his eyes and wake up.

He struggled with his own body, with his own mind. He struggled to breathe, to keep his heart from beating out of his chest. He felt himself wear down. He gave it one more final push, he gave the fight all he had. He couldn't give up, not until he had nothing else to give, and right now, he still had one last push to give.

With a deep gasp for air, Dean's eyes shot opened and his body jerked to a seated position. He coughed and struggled for the oxygen his body needed. As his body shook, and the tears rolled down his face. His hair, soaked, much like the rest of his body, with sweat that poured from him.

When had he gotten back on the bed? When was he laid on the pillows? He squeezed his eyes closed tight, trying to make his world stop spinning.

"You are awake, good." Wild Horse spoke once Dean was able to breathe normal again.

Dean looked at him, taking a few blinks to remember who he was and why he was there.

"This next part, is going to be the worst."

Dean drew in a deep breath. "That wasn't bad enough?"

"Here, drink this." He handed another glass to Dean.

The nervousness and panic were shining bright on his face.

"Drink!"

Dean drank it, again, gagging on the taste. "Not made for taste, yeah I get it." He replied between gags. "What's this one gonna do?"

"Keep you awake."

Dean looked up at him confused.

"For how long?"

"As long as it takes."

He glanced at Sam, hoping his brother understood what he meant. Sam just shook his head.

"What exactly does that mean?" Sam asked.

"It means, his body will know when it's time to sleep. It all depends on how badly he is already infected."

"I think it's pretty bad, I mean, I was worried he would be changing any second."

Wild Horse nodded. "Then, he might be awake for a while."

"Define a while." Dean said, his voice shaking.

"I have never seen anyone stay awake longer than a week, but I've never seen anyone as severe as you either."

"A WEEK!" Dean was not happy about that answer.

"It will take as long as it needs to. If you sleep, you die."

"Well, that's just great!" Dean said with another eye roll. "I already feel like shit."

"Yes, and I'm sure your entire body aches, as well as your head, and judging by the blood that came from your ears, your mind is probably fried right now. But, if you sleep…"

"You die, got it!" Dean interrupted.

Wild Horse just nodded his head.

"You're just a big 'ole bag of fun, aren't you?" Dean replied as sarcastically as he could.

"Oh, I'm not near as fun as your mind is going to be for the next week." Wild Horse replied back with a smirk.

"Great!"

"So, here's what's going to happen." Wild Horse began to speak, moving his glance between Sam and Dean. "You've been infected, just like any other infection, it has to be taken care of or it kills you. In this instance, your death is actually you changing into a monster. But, the things I have given you to drink, they are like an antibiotic. Now, you have to let it do its job. You have to let the infection work its way out of your body, which is probably going to include a lot of vomiting and high fevers. Keep the fevers down, just like anything else, the effects from the normal, human, responses, such as a fever, can kill, or complicate things."

"Gonna be sick, treat it like a normal sickness, got it." Dean interrupted.

"You're also going to become delirious, from the lack of sleep. You're going to be irritable, and probably get to the point your anger will take over. This is going to be partly from the lack of sleep and partly from the fight your mind is going to have with itself."

"Hear that Sammy? You get to put up with Dad again."

"This is serious!" Wild Horse responded. "All those images and memories that have been flooding your mind, filling your dreams, they are going to come, this time, they will be worse. You won't be asleep, you'll be awake through all of them, and able to feel everything that goes along with them. Just by the simple touch when I first arrived, I'd say you're gonna have some pretty harsh times in front of you, some memories you'd rather not have to relive, again. But, there's no way of stopping them. You just have to let it run its course, like everything else."

Dean gulped hard, he did not like the sound of that.

"Is there anything we can do to ease it if it becomes too much?" Sam questioned.

"Be there for him, don't take it too personal. He's going to have the fight of his life going through his head, and he's going to need someone who will be strong enough to stay by his side, to reassure him that everything is okay, and remind him why he's going through this."

"And coffee, lots and lots of coffee." Dean added with a smile.

Sam just nodded at Wild Horse. "Have you met my brother, Dean?"

Wild Horse laughed. "If you need any help, call, but I'm sure you've got this. You're strong enough to have your brother's back."

"Is handcuffs and a gag an option?" Sam asked with a joking tone.

"Getting kinky, huh?" Dean replied. "You wouldn't take advantage of a man while he's down, now would you, Sammy?"

Sam glanced at Dean, rolled his eyes, and looked up at Wild Horse. "Like I said, is that an option?"

Wild Horse just laughed again and looked at Dean. "Whatever works."

Dean's eyes widened. "Hey!"

Sam and Wild Horse just chuckled, Sam thanked him, they shared a few more words as he walked him outside, then Sam returned.

"How you feeling?"

"Just peachy!"

"Good! Then I'm going to take the chance to sleep."

"Hey, if I can't sleep then neither can you!"

"I'm not the one infected, besides I'm going to need the energy not to tie you down and gag your ass!"

"Bitch!"

"Jerk."

"So, when is all of this supposed to start?"

"Don't know, but you know it's going to be shitty, so why rush it?" Sam was making his way into his bed, laying under the covers, prepared for a nap.

"Yeah, true. Dude! Are you seriously going to sleep on me?"

"Yeah, Dean, I am. I need to be able to sleep, so I can take care of you properly. If you need me, wake me, oh and don't leave! You keep your ass planted right there, unless you need to use the bathroom. But, don't go anywhere! Got it?"

"Yes, sir!" Dean said sarcastically.

"Hey, you're the one who's going to turn into Dad, not me, remember?"

Dean just chuckled. "Oh yeah, that's right, you're going to have a lot of fun!"

"Yeah, I have no doubt in that, but for now, I'm going to rest while I can, it's been a long day."

"You're telling me!"

Dean stopped talking, allowing Sam to fall asleep. He was feeling restless but also didn't seem to have the energy to even change positions on the bed. He could feel the fever starting, or had it already been there? He was wet with sweat, but he figured that was from the whole incident earlier, after the first stuff he drank.

The thought of it turned Dean's stomach, it tasted like ass, and dirty feet. The second drink wasn't much better.

He laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling, for an undetermined amount of time. Dean figured time didn't matter anyhow, not when he wasn't going to be able to sleep, it was all going to blend together anyhow. His brother laid on the bed beside his, his soft breathing filling the silence. Dean laid there allowing his brother's breathing to relax him, if he couldn't sleep, then he could at least relax while he was able.

Then, suddenly, it hit him, out of nowhere, a wave of nausea washed over him. He jumped from his bed to rush to the bathroom before he vomited, but, when he did, his world spun and tilted. He fell to the floor, the sweat pouring off him as the vomit spewed out of his mouth. His eye sight was blurry, everything was tilting and spinning.

Sam's hunter mode was turned on, as always, but his protective brother mode was even stronger. He was startled awake by the sound of his brother falling to the floor. He was at his side in an instant.

"Dean, hey, what are you doing?"

"Getting… sick… didn't… make it." He pointed at the bathroom.

"Yeah, I can see that."

"Everything dizzy."

"Okay, let's get you back to bed, I'll get you a trashcan in case you need to vomit again, and a wet rag to cool you down."

Sam helped Dean off the floor and back into bed. He laid the trashcan on the floor beside him and a cool, wet, rag on his forehead.

"There we go, better?" Sam asked once he was finished.

Dean nodded slightly. "Gotta… clean… Dad'll be… mad."

"Hey, Dean, don't worry about it, okay? I'll get it cleaned up, you just worry about feeling better, okay?"

"Yeah."

Sam was sitting on Dean's bed, beside him, and stood to go clean the vomit off the floor. He figured it wouldn't be the last time he would have to do this before it was over. But, Dean grabbed a hold of Sam's shirt, stopping him from leaving.

"Don't… go… ppplease."

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere, I was just going to clean the floor where you threw up, before it starts to smell. I'll be right back, okay?"

Dean nodded and let Sam go. "I'm scared!" He said in a shaky tone.

"I know you are, so am I." Sam replied as he wiped the floor clean. "But it's going to be okay, I'll be right here, through everything, you don't have to do this alone."

"Th… thank… You."

Sam just looked up at his brother and smiled. Once he got the floor cleaned, he retrieved a glass of cool water and some ibuprophen for Dean.

"Here." He said as he sat beside his brother again. "Take these, and drink this, it will help bring that fever down."

Dean did as he was told and Sam wiped the rag over Dean's head and face, both to cool him and to wash the sweat that was piling on him. He then rinsed it out, putting fresh, cool water on it, and returned it to Dean's head. He had also refilled Dean's glass of water, which he gladly accepted and drank all of.

"Feeling better?" Sam asked.

Dean just shrugged. "A little, I guess."

"Okay, good."

"You can go back to sleep, if you want, I'm good."

"Okay, I'm not going to argue with that, the trash can is here." He pointed at it then got up to refill Dean's glass. "And here's some fresh water. If you need anything at all just holler and wake me up, okay?"

Dean nodded, closing his eyes against the pain that was pounding in his head and the dim light in the room. Sam knew he didn't have to worry about him falling asleep, so he let him be, figured it best for him to find a place of comfort while he was able. He made his way back to his bed and was back asleep before he knew it.