Drowning or Waiving -- part 8 of The Island of Galleno (Only a man who has felt ultimate despair is capable of feeling ultimate bliss.)

by Isabelle

Rating: R (for cursing, mild nudity, adult situations and violence)

Disclaimers: BTVS belong to Joss Whedon, ME, and UPN they are being used for entertainment, I don't own them. The Count of Monte Cristo belongs to Alexandre Dumas--Spike's journey was taken from the idea of the book and is used in the skeleton of the Series. The title for this part comes as inspiration from Stevie Smith's poem Not Waiving but Drowning. Lyrics by Dido, Here with me.

Summary: The moment that Spike finally has Buffy he is vamp-napped by Riley and a new officer, Jack Marshall and sent to the Island of Galleno off the Moroccan coast where all the leftovers of the Initiative are being placed. Buffy frantically looks for Spike but gets news that he was 'accidentally killed' by Jack, who decides to make Sunnydale his residence. The whole thing is Spike trying to get back to Sunnydale and Buffy thinking he's dead. It's filled with exotic places, tons of Original Characters, mysticism, enchantment, magic and love. It takes him years to find out who he is before he can find the one he loves.

Spoilers: Set after Normal Again, Season 6

Feedback: bih80reviews@yahoo.com

Archiving: Carnal Sins, DeathMarkedLove, and Only Time--all others please ask.

A/N: Spike centered Chapter--I know you guys want me to send Jack to the guillotine but hold on *bg*

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The two vampires worked quietly as they set the boat for it's first test on the sea.

"And how exactly do you expect to get through the barrier shield?" Spike asked him as he threw some rope on the deck.

"Well..." Archie began as he stepped on the boat. "First of all I've been studying the sequence of the shield. There are specific times when it's completely off. One is--" he helped Spike jump on the boat.

"One is--" Spike prodded him as he went down to the lower deck.

"One would be whenever we get new a new inmate--they bring it down so the 'copters can get in," Archie explained as they laid out the maps.

"And the second?" Spike asked.

"The second is when there's a large storm, especially in winter, if the cables get hit by lightening the whole island can explode and even with all the black magic that they use it wouldn't prevent it. The news about the island will travel faster than they can manage." Archie explained with a smirk on his face--one that he had adopted from Spike.

"The first option is out of the question," Spike told him.

Archie nodded. "They circle the island three times to make sure no one tries to leave."

"So we have to wait for a winter storm?" Spike asked. "But winter just passed, mate." Frustration was becoming a force of habit.

"Exactly--we have to wait until the time is right, the plan must be executed perfectly...plus--traveling in a winter storm is no joke. You're better off on the island."

Spike started pacing. "Full winter doesn't hit until January... that's months away..."

"Patience, my young friend--patience is what you shall learn from here on in. We all need it and it's going to be your most vital tool once you find your way home," Archie said as he lit his pipe.

Raking his hands through his longish hair he sighed and nodded. "Right--patience...need all the bloody patience I can get."

Archie grinned at him. "When you hit the sea--if you're not little dust particles, you must head East towards the southern border."

Spike nodded and looked over the maps. In the past months he had learned to clearly read sea maps and knew the difference between a league and a mile.

They traced the course for a bit, making sure everything was perfect.

"Shall we pop her cherry then?" Spike asked, almost jumping on the balls of his feet.

Archie laughed and followed him up the stairs. "What's her name?"

Spike pulled out the make-shift flag. Blood red with black letters that read 'Slayer'.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear William, happy birthday to you!"

The Scoobies sang together and William grinned at them a half-destroyed cake in front of him--half of it on his face.

They clapped and cheered, cameras flashed too fast for him and he blinked and began to cry.

"Oh, birthday boy is camera shy," Xander said as Buffy picked up her one-year old crying son.

Dawn handed her a wet towel. William squirmed and cried some more as Buffy tried to clean his face and little hands. "He's just had a long day."

William whimpered and laid his head on his mommy's shoulder, curly blond hair tickled his forehead and his aunt Dawn tenderly tucked it behind his ear and gave him a kiss on his forehead.

He felt better.

"Let me put him to bed and us adults will party down here," Buffy suggested.

Willow smiled sympathetically. "Yeah--maybe Jack will be back then."

Buffy kissed her son's head and nodded. "Yeah, maybe he will."

She took him upstairs to his bathroom. "Tired, baby?"

She sat him down on the toilet and began taking off his shoes.

He shook his head yet yawned and rubbed his eyes. "Right." She smirked and got him undressed, running a warm bath for him.

He almost fell asleep in the tub and she carried him to his room where his warm large crib lay.

As he was having his final bottle she studied him and almost fainted when she saw that one of his eyebrows was not growing hair in the middle.

Almost like he had a scar. She pulled the bottle away and sat him up. He whimpered and looked at her with questioning eyes.

"Did you play with mommy's scissors?" she asked him, roughly and almost desperate.

His eyes filled with tears at her harsh tone and he began to cry. He hated when she got upset with him.

Buffy realized that he wasn't 10 and quickly pulled him to her chest, rocking him back and forth. "I'm sorry, William--that was mean of mommy..." His little hands grabbed her arms not willing to let go. "I'm sorry daddy wasn't home... for your party..."

Rocking him back and forth he feel asleep still whimpering. She carefully laid him down and wrapped him up tightly in Spike's blanket.

As he lay sleeping she saw how much he did look like Spike. His cheekbones were growing more pronounced and he was naturally thin but well defined. His hair was dirty blond and had soft curls to it. His skin was pale and beautiful, his lips full and his eyes tiny and blue, when he looked at you with interest they got tinier and darker--just like Spike's had. And now he was naturally growing a scar. Great!

A single tear fell from her eyes and wet his lips.

I didn't hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here
And I don't want to move a thing
It might change my memory

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Spike and Archie walked back from the cave to his hut with satisfaction, the yacht sailed beautifully, smooth sailing as they would say.

"We just need to wait for the perfect moment," Archie reminded the way too happy Spike.

"Waiting for what?"

Both vampires turned abruptly to find a Varro languidly lounging next to a palm tree and smoking a cigarette, eyeing them with a smirk.

"What can we do for you, mate?" Spike asked, a bit defensive.

Archie placed his hand on Spike's chest a signal to calm down. "Varro is a friend, William...."

Varro laughed and pulled himself up, stalking up to them. "I know your secrets, vampire, you screamed them like a lost child that night..." He let the words hang in the air, almost suggestively. "Remember that night?"

Spike growled.

Archie stood in front of Spike, covering the shorter vampire. "What will you get from that? We have nothing of value... you do not value what we do."

Varro chuckled. "Oh, I think you do--I think you have the most valuable thing on this island," he tossed his cigarette at Spike's feet. "Don't you...mate?"

Spike cocked his head to the side to study the man. "How long you've been spyin'?"

Varro did a mock-pensive look. "I don't spy...more like...run into things--"

Spike growled and launched at him, grabbing him by his neck and pinning him on the palm tree. "You will NOT mess this up for me, you slimy gop, I've been waiting on this for too long."

Varro smiled despite the lack of air and almost choked on himself. "Like...to...see...you...try...."

Spike squeezed harder but stopped when Archie stood next to him. "Lesson the second, William," Archie reminded him.

Spike scowled at him. "How can we be spouting lessons when this soddin' poofter is tryin' to wreck my plan?"

Archie studied the man who was struggling uselessly against the vampire's grasp. "You're right...kill him."

Varro's eyes went wide at his response. "Ok, ok, I'll tell! I know about the boat--"

"Who else knows?" Spike asked him.

"I know " the man cried, terrified.

"Perhaps we should turn him," Archie suggested.

Varro cried out. "No, please! No one else knows, I swear it."

Spike got in his face and studied him, smelling him to make sure he was for real. "I don't trust you, mate. I think you'd make a sorry vamp."

"My mother--" Spike's grip tightened. Varro continued. "My mother was killed by a vamp..."

Spike let him go and he fell, butt first on the floor.

"You tell anyone about the boat and I'll come for you...when you least expect it... and when I get out, I'll find your family too." Spike glared at him and stalked back to the hut.

Archie studied the man who tried uselessly to get his dignity back by angrily wiping his tears. "Why didn't he kill me?" he asked the vampire.

Archie stood in front of him and caught his eyes. "Is that what you want? Death?"

Varro looked around, the island suddenly felt smaller.

"Cowards die many times before their death...the valiant never taste death but once." Archie quoted.

Varro laughed. "You and your books, old man."

"I haven't been a man in a long time... I would've killed you." Archie said, squatting in front of him.

The man arched his eyebrow at him. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Those who want death, find death. Your greatest fear is living it night by night... like one of us."

Varro's jaw tightened. "Not all men are good."

"It's true."

"Not all vampires are bad..."

"Oh they are," Archie disagreed. "We're just... unconventional." Varro stood and Archie with him. "Go now... and speak of this to no one."

Varro turned quickly and started walking back to town. Then stopped and quickly turned to see Archie in his game face. "I thought you said you would've killed me?"

Archie gave him a toothy grin and started walking towards him, like a predator. Hungry, lethal and deadly. He saw the hunger in his eyes but his legs didn't move--locked at the knee to just stare at those golden eyes.

Varro was about to pee on his pants, he wanted to scream and beg for mercy but nothing came past his throat--this was his moment, his moment that he had been looking for the past seven years that he'd been on the island. Yet at this moment he didn't want it... but it was too late. He was dinner.

Archie got to his face, until the mortal's breath tickled his long white beard. He leaned in and ... "Boo!"

The man screamed and ran the other way, leaving Archie grinning after him.

"What was that all 'bout?" Spike asked his elder surprised.

Archie chuckled and walked back to his cabin. "He'll be enjoying life from now on."

Spike eyed him with a smirk. "While shittin' his pants any time you come near?"

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(2 yrs later...yes, you heard right, it's been TWO years)

"William!" Archie cried as he shook the sleeping vampire.

The sleepy, bearded Spike woke up and looked around confused, his long blond hair falling in his face. "What the bloody--"

"It's time!"

Spike stood up and almost went out the door nude. He ran back and grabbed his raggedy pants and their supplies which always stood by the door.

"C'mon--the storm's coming up the west side!"

Archie grabbed a large bag and Spike the other and together they ran in the pre-dawn hours of the morning to the shore... and to his escape.

The wind was making the palm trees sway from side to side, rain coming but not starting yet. Loose objects flew through the air, making them duck just in case a stake decided to take up flying as it's hobby.

The made it to the other side of the shore in almost half and hour, by the time they had gotten there they were struggling against the cold winds of winter. The small yacht waited for them, swaying in the waves of the shore. Both vampires quickly put their bags inside.

They had gotten every one of their supplies, including the gas, from two years worth of collecting things that the supplies brought every day. Three months ago they had collected enough petroleum to sail the seas.

Archie hopped off the boat and helped with untying it from the rock they had kept it safe at. Spike looked back at the man who had been his companion and suddenly was at loss for words.

"Archie..." he began.

Archie shook his head and waved his hand. "Say no more, William--you've learned from me all that I have to teach. Never look back... safe journey."

Spike leaned forward. "I'll come back and get you out, Archie, I promise."

Archie smiled and nodded, letting the rope go, making Spike sway into the sea. The younger vampire's eyes went wide as he saw his departure come too quick. The rain started then, getting in his eyes and making Archie blurry and smaller looking as he drifted into the sea.

He took three deep breaths to stop himself from jumping off the boat and into the safety of his mentor's shadow.

But he didn't, he turned around with a determined look on his face. Taking a captain's position he looked out to the swaying sea, the shield should already be down and he was on his way to vengeance.

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Oh I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide I won't go
I won't sleep I can't breathe

Buffy sat up in bed and gasped.

She had a dream.

A terrible dream.

She dreamt that Spike was alive and out in the sea... alone, lost and dying.

She looked next to her and her husband was gone... What's new, she thought indifferently.

"Mommy?"

Her head snapped up to look at her small three year old son with his Captain Morgan's pajama's, his blond hair in his eyes as he rubbed them.

"Baby, what's wrong?" she asked, frowning at his frightened eyes.

"I had a bad dream." William whimpered, on the verge of tears.

"Want to sleep with mom?" she asked with a smile. He nodded and quickly climbed into bed with her.

"What was the dream about?" she asked.

"A storm... in the sea..." he yawned. "And a man on a boat and he was angry."

Buffy didn't say anything but held her baby close to her as her heart ran about a mile a minute.

Both dreaming about Spike? Could it have been Spike?

Her hope fluttered. There had been times in the past three years when she could've sworn she felt him... felt him somehow... but she knew it was just the ramblings of a desperate girl.

"Where's daddy?" William asked, eyes already closed but knowing his dad wasn't home.

Buffy heart constricted. She didn't know were Jack was... and she knew he wasn't home.

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Until you're resting here with me
I won't leave I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here with me

She bent down to pick up the early Saturday paper and that's when her husband's car pulled up the long driveway.

She tried not to scowl or think anything she wasn't supposed to.

"Morning, Buffy," he said, smiling as if nothing had happened. "I left early this morning to play golf with the guys... I didn't want to wake you."

She nodded. "I woke up around 3 this morning... you weren't there."

Jack walked up to her and laughed a bit. "I was downstairs.. I couldn't sleep."

"Why didn't you wake me? I would've stayed up with you?"

Jack shrugged and walked past her to the house. "I didn't want to disturb you."

Buffy bit her lip and closed the door behind her. "You wouldn't have disturbed me, Jack...this is the third time this week I've woken up to find you gone."

He turned to look at her and ran his hands through his black hair. "Can we just talk about this some other time?"

"That's what you always say!" she cried, tired of the same discussion. "I told you once I wasn't going to play housewife."

Jack ignored her and walked to the kitchen.

She glared at his retreating back and followed him. "Are you sure you killed him?"

He was at the open refrigerator, checking out the orange juice yet he went still at her question. "Killed who, Buffy?"

Buffy crossed her arms, with her jaw set. "You know who I'm talking about."

He turned to look her in the eye and was almost being amused at her posture. "You're not the Slayer anymore, Buffy... there are no vampires in your life now." he walked to stand in front of her. "And you are my wife."

Buffy stood her ground, her ears ringing. "You didn't answer the question."

"I'm sure... he was dust, I saw it."

Buffy nodded. "Just because I'm your wife and I moved here with you and we're far away from my home, doesn't mean they're not real. I've known them..."

Jack grabbed her arms, roughly and she cried out, eyes wide--he had never hurt her. "There are NO vampires!"

"Mommy?"

Both turned to look at William who was standing by the kitchen entrance, with his blankie, and on the verge of tears.

Buffy pulled out of Jack's grasp and quickly picked up William, walking out of the kitchen.

Jack watched her retreat and sighed, walking quickly to grab his cell phone from his coat. He dialed '9'.

"Morning, sir." a young voice said.

"Kill the vampire."

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His mommy was sad. He could tell and his dad didn't make it any better. She had taken him to his room and sang that song he liked... the one about letting him rest in peace and going through the motions. After that she sat with him and played with play-doo but he could still sense she was sad. Her smiles were not as pretty and she seemed smaller... mommy was supposed to be bigger.

After lunch he noticed that dad had left, mommy got happier for that and they decided to take a nap together. He snuggled closer to her as she reminded him that she loved him more than anything in this world and that nothing was going to come between them.

But he held her tighter when she cried softly thinking he didn't notice. For some reason he felt sad too.

I don't want to call my friends
They might wake me from this dream
And I can't leave this bed
Risk forgetting all that's been

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TBC...

(You see, I got him off that island *eg*)