"Hey, is something going on with you and Cas?" Sam asked.
"No. Why?" Dean replied?
"He's been looking at you all weird recently." Sam answered.
"Hm?" Dean shrugged. "Wouldn't surprise me. Half the time he hates me and half the time-"
"And half the time he's fucking ogling you." Sam retorted.
"Oh." Dean mumbled. "Well good for him. At least we know his eyes are working. Who wouldn't ogle me?"
"People in relationships." Sam snapped.
"Leave me out of this." Dean snorted. "That's between him and his girlfriend."
"I'm not talking about that." Sam sighed.
"Then feel free to tell me what you are talking about." Dean said, slightly agitated.
"I'm just saying. With your guys' history, it seems a little weird that all of a sudden he eyefucks you every chance he gets." Sam explained.
"Sam. Nothing happened. He's a guy. It's in his natural nature to lust for people." Dean rolled his eyes.
"Not like the way he does for you." Sam muttered, walking off.
"God dammit, Cas." Dean scowled as he collapsed on the couch.
Anastasia's curls bounced freely behind her as she walked beside Dean. "Why do you think Castiel likes you more than me?"
"He likes us in two different ways, An. Besides, what makes you think that?" Dean asked.
"He spends so much time with you." She answered. "He finds comfort in you, but denies when I try to help him."
"Don't take it personally." Dean chuckled. "You and I both know that Cas's head works in confusing ways."
"Amen." Anastasia laughed.
"But in all seriousness, I think he just turns to me not because he still has feelings for me or is still in love with me, because we both know that that's a lost cause." Dean continued. "I think he just turns to me out of habit. He did it back then, and maybe he just kept the tradition."
"I reach out to him, but I don't think he trusts me." She frowned.
Dean sighed. "I don't think it's that, Anastasia. In fact, I think it's just the opposite. I think he thinks that you don't really care."
"But I do." She protested.
"I know you do. But does he?" Dean countered.
"I think so..." Anastasia said quietly.
"Well, maybe you should know so. God forbid I say this, but maybe you should have a heart to heart with him. Have a chick flick scene. Tell him how you really feel." Dean smiled.
"I think you're right." She mused. "I should tell him I love him."
"Yeah." Dean mumbled, struggling to hide the pain spreading across his face. "Tell him you love him."
"Thanks, Dean. You're a sweetie." She grinned giving Dean a kiss on the cheek before entering the house and skipping to the stairwell.
Dean bit his bottom lip as he looked to the ground and laughed bitterly. "Of course she loves him. Why else would they be married?"
Cas twisted the ring on his finger as he watched Dean kick a rock around in the dirt outside his window. Dean muddled about in the same area, kicking the rock around in circles, a flurry of dust around him. Dean accidentally kicked himself and he stumbled and tripped, just barely catching himself steady before he fell. Dean instinctively looked around to make sure no one saw him make a fool of himself.
Cas smiled in admiration as he watched him. "Your secret's safe with me!"
Dean looked up and saw Cas standing over his balcony, watching him smugly. "I'll have you know that was intentional!"
"So that's why you looked to make sure no one saw then?" Cas smirked.
Dean sighed in amusement and walked closer to Cas's balcony. "Please! I was checking to see if anyone saw that awesome move!"
"Well, that's good then!" Cas grinned.
"Why?" Dean asked.
"I got it on all video!" Cas pulled his phone out of his pocket and waved it in the air.
"Oh you son of a bitch!" Dean exclaimed.
"I thought you wanted people to see it?" Cas mused.
"Delete that right now!" Dean ordered.
Cas shrugged. "Sorry! Don't think I will! You know, maybe I'll send it to everyone on my contacts list! Bill Gates, Queen of England and all!"
"Like hell you will!" Dean retorted.
"What are you going to do to stop me?" Cas sneered.
"I'm going to beat your ass!" Dean growled, running towards the tree he used to climb to get into Cas's room and began scaling it.
He reached the top, and ran through his room and down the hall to Cas's room. Dean pushed open the door and saw Cas leaning against the wall tossing his phone in the air and catching it with his hand.
"Hello, Dean." Cas smiled.
"Give it." Dean demanded, putting his hand out.
"Nah..." Cas sighed.
"Now. Or delete the footage yourself." Dean glared at Cas.
Cas pretended to ponder the thought. "Hmm... No." He tossed the phone on his bed, Dean running over, jumping on the bed, and grabbing it.
Dean opened up the phone and after a moment frowned. "There's no video on here."
"I know." Cas said, quickly jumping on Dean, straddling his stomach.
"You sneaky vixen." Dean scowled jokingly.
"That's me." Cas purred. "A sneaky little vixen. Minus the female part."
Dean laughed and began squirming out of Cas's legs.
"Oh no you don't." Cas fell forward and pinned Dean's hands to the bed. "You're not going anywhere."
"You may be strong, but I'm stronger." Dean pushed against Cas's hands. "Fuck. You got strong."
"Yeah. Thanks for noticing." Cas chided. "So now you're my little bitch."
"I bet you say that to all the guys." Dean chuckled.
"No. Just you." Cas replied seriously. "So how am I going to take advantage of this situation?"
"I'm just kidding." Dean whispered, pushing Cas off him. "I'll always be stronger than you. There's no changing that.
"Fuck off, Dean." Cas retorted.
"You're so adorable when you try to act tough." Dean cooed.
"I am tough and you damn well know it." Cas snapped.
"Oh do I..." Dean breathed with a smile. "But times could have changed since then. I think you'll need to prove yourself."
"Gladly." Cas grinned undoing the top button on his shirt.
"Not that kind of prove yourself." Dean snorted, buttoning Cas's shirt back up.
Cas pouted. "Fine. I guess we'll have to do this the boring way."
"Which is?" Dean smiled.
"Arm wrestle." Cas stated.
"You're joking?" Dean scoffed.
"Yes, I am." Cas nodded. "We're going to settle this like men. We'll fight to the death. Almost."
"Whatever you say." Dean laughed. "But when both of us end up in the hospital, I'll be the one getting the last laugh."
"And I'll be the one saying that we should've just had sex." Cas retorted.
"Real cute." Dean sneered.
"I am." Cas smiled. "You're the one who said I was adorable."
"That was sarcasm, you asshole. And you know it." Dean said.
"Oh. Of course I'm the asshole." Cas rolled his eyes.
"Of course you are! You're the one who wants to fight me to the almost death." Dean exclaimed.
"Speaking of...Why are we still talking when we could be fighting to the almost death?" Cas asked, pushing Dean over so he was on his back and Cas was on top of him once more, sitting on his chest, causing Dean to grunt.
"Or fucking. It's never too late to change your mind." Cas whispered leaning in close to Dean.
"I'd love to, Cas." Dean breathed. "But no and you know why."
"Fine." Cas huffed. "Fight to the almost death it is."
"Sorry to let you down, lover boy." Dean smirked, sitting up and pushing Cas over on his stomach. Dean leant down next to Cas's face and continued. "But some things just can't be done." Dean pressed a small kiss to Cas's cheek smugly and sat back up.
Cas turned over so he was looking up at Dean. "So that's the route you want to take? Two can play at that game."
"Now I'm scared." Dean retorted.
"Don't get hurt too much!" Anastasia called from the doorway with a smile. "Dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes."
"I think that was more directed at me." Cas stated. "So I'll take the liberty of almost killing you."
"That goes for Dean, too!" Anastasia added from down the hallway.
"Dammit." Cas scowled, causing Dean to laugh.
"Shame." Dean sighed. "I was really looking forward to planting you in the hospital."
"You know I would totally be the one planting you in the hospital." Cas scoffed.
"I'd like to see you try." Dean growled.
"You brought this upon yourself." Cas warned as he sat up and pushed Dean off him with his legs, throwing him next to him on the bed.
They both came at each other at the same, tossing each other about the large bed, limbs flying every which way.
Dean's leg hit the headboard of the bed with a loud bang. "Fuck!"
"I warned you..." Cas sneered.
"No one better have broken anything!" Anastasia yelled.
"We're good!" Dean replied. "Most of us!"
"Not for long." Cas sang.
"You don't even ask how my leg is. You just assume it's not shattered in three places and scattered across your room." Dean retorted.
"If it were, I would make you clean it up. Blood is a pain to get out of this kind of carpeting." Cas stated.
"You're a real dick wad, you that, Cas?" Dean laughed.
"You remind me of that very often." Cas smiled, kneeling above Dean.
Dean reached out and grabbed Cas's leg, giving it a quick jerk, causing Cas to fall on top of him. Dean put his hands out in front of him so Cas' wouldn't crash into him. Cas's waist fit perfectly between Dean's hands as he caught him. Dean's fingertips were just barely under Cas's shirt, brushing against his warm skin. Cas's head had fallen against Dean's neck and Dean felt his warm breath. Slowly, Cas brought his lips to Dean's neck. After Dean didn't react, Cas started kissing him, focusing on a soft spot beneath his jaw.
Dean's breath quickly became shaky as his hands lowered back down to his sides, slowly bringing Cas down with them. His own hands softly guided Dean's back up to wrap around Cas's back. Dean moved them lower and slipped them into the back of Cas's slacks. Cas moved one of his hands up to stroke Dean's hair.
"Cas, stop." Dean whispered, quickly pulling his hands back to his sides.
Cas continued nibbling and Dean's neck, ignoring him.
"Cas." Dean said sternly. "Stop."
Cas reluctantly sat up and sighed.
"What the hell, Cas!?" Dean exclaimed.
Cas shrunk back, ashamed, and looked away from Dean.
"I mean, just...what the fuck?!" Dean continued. "What are you thinking?"
Cas remained silent.
"Can you explain just something to me here? Becuase I am really confused right now." Dean demanded.
"You." Cas mumbled.
"Me, what, exactly?" Dean asked.
"That's all I'm thinking about. You." Cas answered.
"Well, Cas. You need to stop then." Dean scowled. "We can't do this."
"Why not?" Cas pleaded, turning to look at Dean. "We both want to. Why shouldn't we?"
"It doesn't matter if either of us do or don't want to. Nothing is going to happen between us. Not at Anastasia's expense." Dean said slightly softer, internally dying as he watched Cas become more and more pained at each word.
"Can't we forget about her for an hour? Just an hour?" Cas begged.
"No." Dean replied. "She's always going to be there. You can't just wish her away whenever you get a little nostalgic over your ex."
"It's not that I wish her away. I just wish you here more." Cas sighed.
"Then stop putting coins in the damn wishing well." Dean snapped.
"I can't help it, Dean. I'm so used to you." Cas cowered.
"Well get unused to me." Dean ordered.
"It's like breaking a habit you've had your whole life." Cas stated.
"Well, it's a good thing you've only had this habit for about five and a half years." Dean smiled bitterly.
"That's not the point. They're impossible to break." Cas responded.
"You act like you're the only one with problems here, Cas." Dean growled. "You think it's easy living with the only person you've ever loved and not be able to hold him and kiss him? You have to sit and smile and pretend everything's alright when on the inside you're exploding?"
"No. I don't think it's easy, Dean. Becuase I know it's not." Cas answered.
"Well I seem to be managing well enough not to make out with you every chance I get. What's your excuse?" Dean grumbled.
"I'm not as strong as you." Cas whispered. "I'll never be as strong as you. I'll never be able to deal with the things you can."
"You know what?" Dean laughed, standing up and storming over to the door. "I think you're onto something."
Dean changed out of his clothes and put on a pair of sweat pants. He turned down the hall to Sam's room, but stopped when he heard a quiet sound coming from Cas's room. He looked in and saw Cas sitting on the edge of his bed sobbing into his hands.
"What'd I do to make him hate me so much?" Cas cried, wiping his eyes with the sides of his hands. "What did I do?"
Dean turned away and swallowed down a lump in his throat as he walked down to his brother's room.
"Hey, Dean." Sam smiled.
"Hey." Dean mumbled.
"What's wrong now?" Sam sighed.
"You said you had that friend taking psychology classes, right?" Dean asked.
"Yeah. Why?" Sam answered.
"Think he'd be willing to help us out with Cas?" Dean suggested. "Just talk to him and then tell us if there's anything we can do to help him."
"I'm sure he'd totally be up for it." Sam nodded. "I'll ask him next time I see him. Book club meets again on Wednesday, so I'll ask him then."
"Good." Dean replied.
"You want to talk about it?" Sam offered.
"'Bout what?" Dean yawned.
"Whatever happened between you and Cas." Sam responded.
"Nothing happened." Dean stated, turning out of the room.
"You're lying, Dean." Sam said.
"Who cares if I am?" Dean grumbled.
"I do. I care about you and I care about Cas, too. I just want to help." Sam pleaded.
"How about you stay out of what doesn't involve you." Dean sneered, leaving towards his room.
Sam slunk down against his pillows. "God bless their souls."
A/N: I took way too much guilty pleasure in writing this chapter. Then again, I do that with a lot of my angsty/sad/feelsy chapters. I literally almost passed out at the phlebotomy place today. They had to get me water and a place to lie down and everything until I got back into the 'safe zone'. That's how bad my fear of needles is. . I swear, if I'm not writing, I'm writing in my head, and not even that would calm my nerves in that hell hole. I have like twenty million terrible things to do to the characters in this story. You know you've been watching too much supernatural when you become a asshole to the characters in your story.
