Chapter 9: My Choice

Disclaimer: Twilight is Stephenie Meyer's and not mine. Strictly not mine! Because if it were mine it might just suck and all that.

Bella again. Edward and Bella. He gives her a choice.

The next day we went to school with a perfect excuse for our absence; Jesse's aunt came to taunt him to not do anything reckless to Myra or any of us girls- including his supposedly sister. We all laughed at that excuse but the teachers took it less seriously than we anticipated. Anyone has to admit that it's possible. Of course, I can't shake the heavy feeling I have whenever I see the Cullens. I just ignore them the best I can. My family helped me cope with the last few days.

They were all panicky when I left without telling anyone. What was I suppose to do if the couple is making love and the tomboy went out to drive with her phone turned off? I just went to Charlie. Out of everybody, he's the only one who I can tell my burdens to. I came to report things too. Ironic. When I was still with him we never talked about ourselves much but now…

We made our way to our table with our props. I got a bottle of lemonade for myself while the others got more food to be wasted. Being myself, I took a quick sip. It won't be bad if I take human food- well in this case beverage occasionally. I'm simply curious. Jesse looked at me with insulting pity. Denise just rolled her eyes and Myra giggled at their reactions. I was surprised when Jesse's eyes started to glint. When it does, it means he thought of something devilishly disgusting or somewhere along those lines. "I thought of a good game. It'll help Bella too," he finally announced with an impish grin.

"What are the rules?" Denise asked eagerly. She's always game for Jesse's stupid ideas.

"Since Bella gave me an idea, she'll have to join," he added, holding one finger up. I tensed. Usually, when Jesse announces these games I don't like to join in. They're just so absurd. "The rule is: We have to eat. The one with the most food to eat will get a special prize," he said. Thought so, I am not interested. I tried to stand up and leave but all their hands gripped on me. I have no choice then. "Who's getting the food?" Myra asked. Everyone faced me at the instant she asked the question.

"Fine," I said, hating to concede. It's just so embarrassing. People might think that I'm such a pig. I can't escape anyway. I looked at all the food available. The thought of it in my mouth and in my throat and all the way made me shudder. It's just so gross. I felt someone near me. A vampire. I fought the urge to look up because it's a scent I very much recognize. Emmett Cullen is standing right next to me. I quickly turned around but he got my arm at the same second. He gripped it tight.

"Mind if we talk?" he asked in a serious tone that I can't refuse. I bit my lip. The usually enthusiastic and overly optimistic vampire is now staring at me with complete intensity. I looked at our table but my family's already gone. What's going on? I need them now! I scanned the room, unsuccessfully hiding the panic on my face. "Right this way," Emmett gestured to the door. He was trying to hold his laughter. I followed him to the door, earning a few suspicious and criticizing looks from some students. I fought the impulse to run, mostly because I know that I don't have a chance against Emmett and partly because we're in front of humans.

When we got out I paused. I kept my eyes on the ground but my peripheral vision can't help but take in the other details around me. Then, another presence came near. "Please. Bella," I heard her say. I was so surprised to hear the glorious Rosalie Hale say such words to me. She took the lead and Emmett followed her slowly, waiting for me. I took a hesitant step forward. They smiled at that. I calculated my chances on escaping and they are good. I'll have to reach the forest first. Looks like they're taking me there. I followed them more easily after my calculations.

We reached the forest fast and I made my run. I heard them following me but with my speed I doubt they'll be able to keep up. I won't be able to keep inside the forest but if I go too far the shields will deactivate themselves. I stopped. I have to still protect my family. I'll just see what they want then I can brood later. Emmett and Rosalie caught up to me in three seconds. "Boy! You're fast!?" Emmett exclaimed with insulting surprise. I scowled at him and then turned away.

"Oooh," he teased. He laughed his lungs out at me. I have no choice but to go with them. I felt a quiver from inside my shield bubble. It's the one with Jesse's light. What was he doing? Who will he use it on? The Cullens? No, he promised. I concentrated and, again, I have to stop. Emmett grumbled under his breath while Rosalie stood there patiently. I can only know where he is when he is using his shield. I can't get their scent from this part of the forest and Emmett's and Rosalie's scent are very potent in the air right now. Jesse's a few miles east.

"Where do you plan on taking me?" I asked them. I have to know this before anything unexpected happens. "Finally! You gave a response!" Emmett exclaimed. He pointed his thumb to the direction I felt Jesse.

"We want to talk, Bella," Rosalie spoke this time. "Edward especially. He's been through a lot. You should have seen him when we left. He became a totally different person." Hearing her explain with guilt and love took me aback. "Please, Bella. Give us another chance- give him a chance. We won't fail you," she pleaded. The most beautiful Rosalie Hale is pleading me to give her and her family a chance. It confused me. Didn't they want me out of their lives? I looked at them to check if their expressions were bluffing. Instead, I saw the same emotion that I heard from their voice.

"You don't have to answer now," Emmett said. He rested a hand on my shoulder. I cringed but he didn't let go. He pushed me to the same direction he pointed out earlier. I followed their lead, with Rosalie up front and Emmett beside me, in case I run. In about half a minute I smelled their scents. My family is less than a mile away. As we go further I smelled other vampires. Does this mean that they already talked with my family? We met up with them in a few more seconds.

My family stood in a group apart from the Cullens. They looked at me apologetically with hope in their eyes. I glowered at them. What is the meaning of this?! They look like they know something. That's why they've been acting all weird. I felt something within me. Betrayal. My family betrayed me. How could they? Again, I held onto my heart but unlike before I held onto it too tightly. This can't be happening. I held my head down so they won't see my face. Rosalie hugged me. But the surprise was overlapped by the pain. "I'm sorry," she whispered. She guided me where the others are. Edward step up front.

My family took their leave with the Cullens behind them. Carlisle exchanged a look with Edward before following the others. They left Edward and me alone. "Bella," he spoke my name with his most gentle and careful voice. He took a hesitant step towards me, and I stepped back. He stopped and he looked at me with anxious eyes. They were full of affection and agony. He was in front of me in half a blink of the eye that even I didn't see him coming. "Bella. Please. Will you hear my explanation? Will you let me talk to you? If you don't want me that's fine but will you decide after hearing me out?" he pleaded. He lifted my face so he can look at my eyes and I his. He held my gaze with his scorching liquid eyes. I can't say anything.

"I love you, Bella," he said. "You're lying," I mumbled. I doubt that. Why did he leave me then?

"I'm not. I did lie before but I thought that if I leave… you would be able to have a normal life," he explained himself. He sounded so sincere and sad that I almost believed him. I can't have false hopes. He held both sides of my face. I shook them away and he immediately let go. "When I saw Jasper getting wild over your blood, wanting to kill you to satisfy his thirst it made me think," he whispered. It was clear that he didn't want to relive the memory.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked him. I f I don't get out of this kind of atmosphere, I'll get sucked in. I don' want to hurt more than I already am. Edward refused to falter. He continued.

"I thought that you can move on and I don't know about that. I was wrong. I forgot Victoria and I'm sorry about that. I'm doing this because I need you back. It's selfish but you're the only one who kept me alive. It was hard to survive without you. I couldn't stand a day, a minute- even a second. I would have come back eventually to check on you. To see if you have moved on.

"I was there with Alice when she saw you jump off a cliff. It hurt me. I questioned myself for leaving you. We saw Victoria's bare teeth with blood and nothing more," he cringed as he said these things. Every time he said Victoria's name it was a snarl. "I thought that she killed you. Everyone thought that. Given the vision Alice saw, who wouldn't? I tried to track her down. I lost her in Texas. She was killed there and that's the only information I got. I cursed the creature that killed Victoria." Of course she was killed. I killed her. "I planned to go to the Volturi to have them kill me. I never planned to live in a world without you in it. If I didn't listen to Alice I would have been dead." He held my face again and this time I let him.

"I love you. I always have and always will," he said. "When Alice called me I was on my way. She told me about a new vision of a vampire. She described her; a brunette and blurry. She thinks of you and that vampire shows up. The evidence were insufficient back then but I hoped. If you were alive then I'm willing to pass purgatory again, that as what passed my mind.

"When I inhaled your scent on the way to school I felt ecstatic. But I wanted to be sure. When I saw you-" he chuckled. "I wanted to stand up and hug you and kiss you. I wanted to do all the thing that I failed to do. If I wasn't too afraid that you won't accept me, that you already hate me I would have done so."

"Do you think that'll convince me?" I questioned him. He let go of my face and I thought that he finally gave up. But I was wrong. He crushed me into his chest. No matter how strong I've become I can't get away from his embrace. I don't know why… why I'm so weak when I'm with him. I'm too vulnerable for my own good. I always end up hurting myself even more. "Edward, please. Don't make this… this… difficult," I managed. I felt him stiffen.

"It's fine. I have explained my part. It's time for you to decide," he whispered to me soothingly. With that said he left me- alone. Edward left me again and it hurt so much. I know I shoved him away but the fact that he did it again pained me. Now, he's given me the choice whether or not I want him back. It's a choice I don't know the answer to. Will I take him back? I silent debate formed in my head- the pros winning. I felt my heart agree to it but the danger I'll be putting them in…

I felt my family return by my side and the Cullens' scent fading. I don't want his scent to completely be taken by the wind and the moist. It felt wrong. "I'm not sorry," Denise said. "This is the right thing to do. You can't just walk around, living our life with that burden." I lifted my head to scowl at her and then I turned to the others.

"We just want you to be happy," Myra whispered, scared of my reaction. She hugged Jesse's arm and buried her face into it. Jesse turned his back to signal a leave. I shook my head. I don't want to come with them for now. I have to think for myself. Besides, I might do something unnecessary because of their plotting. I'll just keep close to not disrupt the shield. For now, I have to think my choice through- now that I am given one.


Author's Note: I know Edward's dialogue is short compared to New Moon's but I can't think of a long speech.