Hello again guys! Sorry for the really slow updates but I have written the nest few chapters so they should be up soon and it is also the smmer holidays YAY! so I can update more regularly. Please review :-)
SAMS POV
I look through the window of the door of the staffroom and I see Ella sat on the sofa. She looks deathly pale and the cream coloured bandages stand out around her wrists, neck and ankles. Her eyes are blank and she looks completely lost. I open the door and try to decide what to say. Taking a deep breath I walk over to the sofa and sit next to her. She says nothing, just shrinks away, hugging her knees. I feel so lost and confused; everyone always says that being a parent comes naturally. And it did until now, when she little we got on so well. I could always tell exactly what was happening with her.
"Come on Ells, It's time to do your hair or we'll be late for school" I shout up the stairs to my 4 year old daughter. I hear the thunder of her little feet as she runs down the stairs and into the kitchen, a massive smile on your face. "So what do you want me to do with your hair today, how about some pigtails? They're cute." Ella just shakes her head with a cheeky grin on her face. "What do you want then?" I ask her with my eyebrows slightly raised. "A special plait, just like the one you wear!" she says excitedly. I grin, I love my daughter. She tries to be so grown up but in reality is still just a little girl and without her father properly around, she tries to act just ;like me which is something I'm not entirely sure whether I like or not.
"You ok Ella?" I ask cautiously. I hear a small angry sigh, before she says, "Yea I'm absolutely fine ok!" "Ella I know you're not ok. I know about the panic attack, and before you say anything Zoe had to tell me so don't have a go at her!" I reply slightly annoyed at the fact that she isn't talking to me. All I get in reply is her glaring at me. She is trying to look all angry but I can see the tears prickling in her eyes and I know that she is just trying not to cry. I feel myself begin to well up just at the thought of her being in so much emotional pain that I can only just stutter out the next few sentences; "Look Ella, I know that I haven't exactly been the best mother and that I haven't always been there for you. But that doesn't mean that I love you any less. You always have been and always will be the most important thing in my life. I feel really bad that we have drifted apart in the last few months and I know that I can't fix that but I do know that I can be there for you from now on. No matter what else happens in my life, whether something to do with work or Tom, you will always be first. I just want you to know that you can always count on me and that my love is unconditional. No matter what happens I will stand be you". Ella suddenly falls onto me, sobbing. I feel the tears start to flow from my eyes as I pull her into a hug and do something I haven't done in a while. I just sit there holding her. Not wanting to let go ever again.
