Okay.. so its been months. I dont really know how to explain where I've been and why I havent been updating so here, is the long awaited chapter nine. x
….
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
The world had stopped turning, that was the seventh call this morning. He let it go to answer machine. He knew what was coming next. "I'm sorry. I heard about Mike." The person on the other end of the phone would wait, they'd see if Harvey was going to reply and then they'd carry on. "I hope you're okay." Same again. They'd wait. No reply. "Call me if you need anything." The anything would always be emphasised to prove they meant it, but Harvey couldn't feel their sympathy. He could feel the tears on his face and the shirts that now just smelt of hospitals and disinfectant. Everything felt cold. He grew to expect a call every hour from someone else who he didn't know. He would stare at the box of Mike's belongings. The things from the office. The keys to his apartment. Harvey hadn't gone there yet. There was no need.. not yet. He would leave it right up until he had to lose all hope.
"Harvey!" Donna called out, jangling the keys in her ludicrously expensive handbag, she twisted the key in the lock and walked into his condo. It smelt of malt liquor and stale washing. Not that Harvey would have washed. She would bet money on that. She stepped over the clothing on the floor and the lonesome pizza box. Well, she thought, that's a start. He's eaten.
"No I havent." Harvey mumbled, like he knew what she was thinking. "I bought pizza thinking that Mike would like some. But Mike isn't here." Donna sighed and opened the pizza box. "Who ate it then?"
Harvey grinned. One of those tired, I've really lost it this time, grins. "The pigeons."
"Harvey.. Jessica wants to speak to you. It's been weeks. She. She needs you back at work."
"No." He refused, point blank. He couldn't go back to work if Mike wasn't there. If Mike and his damn skinny ties and ill-fitting suits and his shabby hair cut and his bright blue eyes and his scuffs on his shoes from his bike and his red bull breath wasn't going to be there. You can't go back to the crime scene, and you certainly can't go back to where you first met. Where the memories first started. It brings back a whole wave of new problems, new emotions. New shit.
…
Donna squeezed his hand in the elevator. "Thank you, Harv." He was wearing his oldest suit, the one that clung to his chest, to his arms that had lost bulk, the suit was wearing away at the edges and the button were becoming loose. But Mike had never seen this suit, Mike had never torn this suit from his body late at night. There were no memories attached to this suit.
"I'm not doing this for you." He mumbled, the elevator doors sprung open, and he tried to muster the same enthusiasm that they had. He looked to his left and the words 'Pearson Specter Litt' were proudly hanging on the wall, and he felt a heavy weight on his chest. All of this. And the one person he had to share it with.. Donna dragged him back into reality, he passed the receptionists, the bull pen, Rachel's office.. Rachel.. he couldn't keep walking. Mike's office was only two down from hers. He swiftly turned on his heel and walked in the opposite direction. The pitying looks from the other partners passed him by. "Harvey!" Donna called out, but he was too far gone. He was just walking now. This wasn't even his floor anymore, he was climbing the stairs two at a time. The air was escaping from his lungs. The heaviness in his head was replaced by a pounding, a desire to scream but no sound would escape his mouth. His lips went dry and his skin grew hot. The world was spinning and he was perfectly still, watching from afar.
He burst out of the thick steel door that led to the roof, and the air gushed into his lungs almost in an instant. It was one of life's greatest triumphs, to be able to breathe again.
"I knew you'd come up here." She turned her face towards him, and the red soles of her shoes seemed visible before he knew who she was. Her dark skin and trimmed figure seemed lost on him. A woman who had been in his life longer than anyone, longer than Donna even. It hit him.
"Je-Jessica." Not once had she seen him since Mike's.. He pulled himself up. "Fancy seeing you here."
"Yes. Well, one of us had to come to work today. And I honestly didn't think it'd be you." She joked, and the smile crept up on him. No one had been normal with him and it gave him a welcome sigh of relief. "I won't ask you how you are because I've been given daily updates from Donna, and well, you look shit."
"Thanks." He shrugged, it was better than being told he was looking great. He could cope with the truth. "Now, I called you here to talk about work so that's what we'll do. Look, you've got to come back. The clients aren't coming back to the firm when they know you're not here. You're the best closer in this town and you need to make sure that title doesn't slip. C'mon, if you come back to work it might give you something to focus on besides the pigeons and their diet. I heard you're not meant to feed them pizza." She raised her eyebrows, pursed her lips and shook her head. Harvey felt like he was back at the DAs office. "Fine." he muttered, surrendering to her. Perhaps it would give him something to focus on.. Maybe he'd be so tired that when he returned home in the evenings he'd finally be able to sleep in the bed that him and Mike once shared.
