A/N: I feel like I need to warn you here, this chapter contains stuff that's – maybe/probably – a little too gross for some of you. I wasn't really sure if I should include it, but ever since Amanda Palmer had one of her tweet storms about this back in February and got so many positive reactions about it (including a tweet from me which she retweeted – that was so awesome), I couldn't stop thinking about it and really felt like I had to write about it ever since. And so far it does feel right to me, and maybe I'm wrong and you're all okay with it too, but if it you're not, if it freaks you out too much, and you absolutely can't live with it, then okay, I can take it out again. No problem. But I had to try at least. Do let me know what you think and please don't hate me.

And Katelyn, thank you so much. That review means a lot to me. I'm definitely going to write some alternative Mondler stuff sometime later, but I need to finish this first. FYI, I had planned to continue this at least up to the bathtub scene in TOW All the Kissing. After that we'll see.

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When Chandler entered no. 19, Joey was slouched in his chair watching a crime show, and barely turned his head. The chick and the duck were sitting on the chair armrests, the duck grooming itself and the chick already with its head under its wing. Chandler put the paper bag with the remainder of the take-away on the kitchen counter and lugged his laundry bag to his room.

"Hey Joe."

"Hi. Where've you been? Laundry? At this hour?"

"Well, yeah, Monica wanted to do hers still today and I thought I'd keep her company."

"Ah. Cool. What've you got there?"

"Chinese." Joey wrinkled his nose, but inspected the bag anyway and fished out a container with deep fried pork. The duck put its head in the bag and rummaged, until Joey slapped it away indignantly, still munching happily. Chandler contemplated the laundry bag, but felt too weary to put the stuff away and plopped down in his TV chair instead. In a minute he would take a shower and get out his sleeping things, but for now he was content to just hang, hoping that Joey would turn in soon.

At the next commercial break Joey got up and put the bag from the take-out place back on the counter, then he stretched and yawned. And looked Chandler up and down while he did so.

"So how was work?"

Chandler pretended to be absorbed by the toothpaste commercial which he actually found pretty boring. Just the color of the paste gave him tons of ideas how to do it differently. Maybe he should quit his job and try to go into advertising.

"Terrible. I couldn't concentrate. What about you? Didn't you have a date?"

"Nah. Tomorrow. She had to help out at her sister's. And I'm still kinda beat."

"Yeah, me too. I'm going to hit the shower and turn in."

"Jetlag's a bitch, huh?"

"Yup. It's weird."

Joey got his night snacks out of the fridge and went into his room, the duck trailing after him. The chick who hadn't taken its head out from under its wing, remained on the chair. When Chandler headed off to the shower, Joey put his head out of his door.

"Oh, be careful with the toilet. There's still some feathers in it. It works – but … well."

"Good to know, thanks Joe. Just as long as it doesn't fly away."

Joey just shook his head and shut his door again. Chandler sighed and went into the bathroom. Under the shower – where he still found some feathers stuck to the curtain – he thought about his laundry date with Monica. And their session on the couch. Wow, that couch. How often had he sat or lain on it, spent the night on it a couple of times, and never in all that time even thought about having sex on it? True, he had sometimes wondered if Monica or Rachel had had gone for it there, but could never picture it somehow. And of course, the same applied to the kitchen table. Where would they go next? His room? Maybe the barcalounger? The kitchen counter? The foosball table probably wouldn't be able to take it. Or maybe somewhere else, outside the apartments … say, his office. There was a thought. If he could smuggle Monica in late, when everybody had left, they'd have more privacy there. It was definitely worth thinking about, if things continued like they had so far.

If they did. Chandler's blissful grin faded again. True, things were going so great, but could this really last? Would they run out of places to have sex in at some point? And if they did, would Monica still want him? He still wasn't sure if she wanted more from him than just sex. Hell, he wasn't completely sure if he himself wanted more than that. But … there had been those moments.

Like, when he had taken her hand after their morning round and she had squeezed it back. Like, when they had snuggled and spooned before going to sleep. And the way they had made out at the Launderama, that had somehow been something else again, so tender and so … sweet. Like a normal couple. Anybody who didn't know them personally would have taken them for one. A normal ordinary couple, on their fourth or fifth date at least.

And the fortune cookie message. It was so weirdly perfect. He was happy with Monica, happy doing it with her, but also happy being with her. Happier than he had been for a long time, maybe ever.

We'll see, he thought. It's still too early. A little over three days. We'll just have to wait and see.

He put on boxers and a t-shirt, and then forced himself to wait in his room for a while, until he was pretty sure that Joey was asleep or at least safely turned in. At last he put on his robe and socks (he never wore slippers, they reminded him too much of Mr. Heckles) and cautiously sneaked out of the apartment. At the door he realized that his heartbeat had sped up and his mouth had gone dry.

When he entered no. 20, Monica was nowhere to be seen. The apartment was dark, but the light in the bedroom was on and the bedcover turned up. Chandler realized that she was in the bathroom and went over to knock softly on the door.

"Mon?"

"I'm taking a bath" she replied. She was indeed, up to her neck in bubbles, and there were candles standing on the rim of the tub, and a glass of wine. It all looked … really nice.

Screw that. It looked hot. Literally steaming.

Monica smiled at him as he stood there gaping, and stretched luxuriously.

"I really wanted a bath. It feels incredibly good. Would you like to join me?"

"Well … maybe some other time. I just showered." He sat down on the rim and deftly caught her foot in his hands as she tried to slip it under his robe, held it fast and started to tickle it. Monica yelped and pulled it back, splashing him in the struggle.

"How long have you been in there? Your skin's getting all wrinkly."

"Not that long. This is so good. But alright, I'm coming out. Hand me that towel?"

Chandler spread the big towel out and held it up for her, then he wrapped it around her and pulled her close. She was hot and wet and steamy and smelled incredibly nice of bath oils and shampoo. When they kissed it felt like an electric charge went through him. Monica moaned softly and slipped her arms around his waist. His t-shirt got soaked where she pressed against him and the part of his boxers where his erection poked at her lower belly acquired a big wet stain. The towel fell from her shoulders over Chandler's arms and he started to gently rub her dry, with long slow strokes, first her back and buttocks and then her sides and part of her arms. When he reached her shoulders, she stepped back a little and he bent his knees slightly and rubbed the towel over her belly and thighs, and finally over her breasts. Monica held still, breathing heavily with her eyes closed and her hands clawing his shoulders. When he got up again to kiss her, her nipples had become hard little knobs, and her pupils were huge and dark. She put her hand on his erect penis that was poking out of his boxers and gently stroked it while her tongue teased his playfully. Chandler found he couldn't breathe properly and had to come up for air. His robe had become too hot for him and he took it off and put it across a towel holder. Monica grinned and took the towel from him to wrap it tightly around her and fasten it under her arm. Then she pulled the plug of the bath, blew out the candles and disentangled the shower curtain, while Chandler just watched her, mesmerized. She let him slip a hand under the towel at her back and just squirmed a little when he stroked her buttocks, but continued to drain and clean the tub. While she ran the shower to dissolve the remaining foam and bent over to flush it to the drain he got behind her and ran both of his hands up her legs and over her buttocks, then he pressed himself against her, pushing his erect penis between her thighs just under her buttocks and rubbing the tip against her vulva from behind. She held on to the bathtub rim and suddenly clenched the muscles in her buttocks and pelvis around him and Chandler almost lost it.

They remained like this for a moment longer or too, savoring the sensation, then Monica gently disengaged and turned around to snuggle against him for a kiss. He held her close and wouldn't let go, even when she started to walk backwards towards the bathroom door, and into the living room, steering her instead in front of him, never letting go of her lips. They made it to near Monica's bedroom door and there she stopped and took his head between her hands. Except for the light from the streetlamp outside and the lamp in her bedroom the room was dark and full of shadows.

"Do you remember? Us like this? " she whispered. Chandler opened his mouth to say that he didn't know what she was talking about, when suddenly he did.

"Nnn – oh, wow, yes, I do. Of course I do. You just had a bath, and you felt bad about something ..."

"Phoebe had moved out. And I … um …"

"And …?"

"Oh, the usual. I didn't have a boyfriend … and I thought I was impossible to live with."

"And I told you that that wasn't true and you were the most beautiful woman I've ever known. That is, I hope I did. "

"Of course you did. And it was so sweet. It really helped."

He smiled. "And I really meant that. Still do."

"Mmmmh. You know … if you hadn't had that horrible beard … and if you hadn't been more interested in my towel than in me …"

"In the towel? That's not true. I just said that so you wouldn't feel … uncomfortable. Or feel sorry for me."

"Sorry? Why?"

"Well, if you thought I wanted you and felt sorry for having to reject me. Or if you wanted me but thought I didn't really want you … oh god, it's complicated."

She smiled widely and then started to laugh. "Oh my god, so it is. I guess we didn't know each other so well back then. But I still think there could have been more."

"Yeah? That's … nice. So if Joey hadn't been waiting, and I hadn't grown that goatee …"

"Maybe. Who knows. But that's past. This is now." And she put her arms around his neck again and pressed against him. Chandler cast a glance at the desk under the window and decided it was too cluttered and probably not stable enough. The floor looked too uncomfortable right now. So he slid a hand down her side and under her knees and picked her up. She gasped and held on to his shoulders while he carried her into the bedroom, not without some puffing and heaving on the last yards. Then he put her down on the bed and slapped her hands away when she tried to pull him down over her. Instead he got her to stretch out still in the towel and took off his t-shirt and boxers as quickly as he could. When he crawled on the bed he noticed that he still had his socks on and tore them off impatiently which made Monica giggle. He glared at her indignantly which made her giggle even harder. The giggles turned to moans when lay down on his side half over her and kissed her while holding her arms to the bed. Then he broke the kiss and looked down at her, suddenly distracted.

"Chandler? What's wrong?"

"Hmm? Oh – I just thought of something … Mon, do you still use protection? I mean you said –"

"I know. And yes, I put my diaphragm in when I got home earlier."

"Is it enough? Shouldn't we use a condom too?"

"No, it's enough. I'll be on my – erm … well, it's safe now. Really."

"On your what? Your period? When?"

Monica squirmed. "Why do you have to know?"

"I just do. Come on, Mon, it's me, you can talk to me. I mean we had sex now – what? Six times? Seven?"

"I know. But I … Its just weird."

"Shh. You can really talk to me, you know. I mean, I know – I picked up a bit."

"What? How? And when?"

"Well, you know – stuff. Here and there. Mostly from my mother."

"WHAT? From your mother?"

"Yeah, well, she thought there was a lot of stuff men should know about female things. She thought it would help me with women. It didn't really, just embarrassed me a lot, but sometimes it does come in handy."

"I can't believe your mother talked to you about her – I mean, my mother never even talked to me about this. I had to pick up everything from books. And Rachel. But mostly from books."

"Well, my mother always wanted me to read her books and talk to her about it and I hated it. So she just talked to me about all that stuff. It was important to her. Don't you remember when she was at Jay Leno's she said she bought me my first condoms? This was true you know. I've still got one in my wallet."

"Wow. So now you're quite the expert, huh?"

"No, not really. I was too embarrassed to listen. And mostly I didn't need to. But then there was – then I was with a woman who had a lot of problems with her period …"

"Who was it?"

He squirmed a little. "Actually, it was Janice."

"Janice? Oh. I guess it figures, she's the one you were with the longest."

"Well, she always had cramps and stuff, and I wanted to help. She wouldn't hear of it, wouldn't even be with me when she was on her period, but then I convinced her that I really didn't mind and gave her a massage when she had cramps and it did make her feel better."

Monica stared at him. "You did? And it didn't creep you out? I thought guys are always freaked out by blood."

"Well … it's not that bad. I mean, I don't like it much, but I'm not freaked out by it. Besides, I hardly got to see any. She changed her pads so often our toilet got clogged."

Monica shuddered. "Uugggh! Please!"

"And one time we … erm, okay. Enough."

"What? What did you do? Tell me!" Monica got up on her elbows and turned to him. Chandler was mentally kicking himself for letting his tongue run away with him.

"No. I can't. Sorry. You'll freak."

"I'm freaking already."

"And you'll kick me out."

"No." Her gaze softened and she put her hand behind his hand. "I won't. I promise."

He looked at her, biting his lip.

"So what? What did you do?"

"Well, we … My mother told me it would help, and that it wouldn't be messy because it somehow made the bleeding stop while you did it, so … we did it."

"Did what? You did … WHAT? Oh my god! You did it while she was on her period? EEEEWWWWW!"

Chandler turned on his back and sighed. "See? I told you you'd freak. If it helps, so did Janice. That's why we only did it the one time. And it wasn't messy at all."

Monica stared at him, still propped on her elbow.

"How can it not be messy?"

"I told you, the bleeding mostly stops during – is held back – whatever. We also put a lot of towels under … But there weren't really needed."

"Wow. I mean … wow. I never heard of anyone doing that."

Chandler opened his mouth and closed it again.

"What?"

"Well … I talked about it with Joey afterwards. Because he asked me about all the towels … and it turned out he did it too."

Monica lay back and held her head in her hands.

"Oh my god, this keeps getting worse and worse. Joey? I'd thought he'd be sure to freak."

"No, he was okay with it, at least until he had to buy a new mattress …"

Monica flinched and covered her eyes. Chandler got on his knees and gently pulled her hands away.

"Mon? I really didn't mean to freak you out. Are you okay? We don't need to talk about this if you don't want too. I just wanted you to know that – I'm okay with this. I want to be involved. Also I can use condoms from now on, every time, I have no problem with that."

Monica kept her face scrunched up. Her breathing was short. Chandler closed his eyes and ground his teeth.

Great. Can't believe you screwed up again there, Bing. Just when everything went so well. Couldn't leave it alone, did you? This is Monica, for crying out loud.

He waited a few moments longer and when Monica still didn't react he sighed and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Okay, I'll let myself out."

"What? Chandler, wait, what do you mean?"

"Well, if I freak you out this much, we can't go on any longer, can we?"

"No, it's not like that. You don't freak me out. It's just me … I can't … I'm just not used to this."

She put her arms around his shoulders and leaned against him. "But I'll be okay. I guess. Eventually."

"Are you sure? It's not me?" She nodded emphatically and he heaved a sigh of relief.

"Thank god. I really thought I'd screwed it up this time."

"You didn't. Well, maybe a little. You really should know me better by now."

"Yeah, well, you keep surprising me. Especially since that night in London I feel like … you're a whole new person. Like I'm getting to know you all over again. And in a totally new way."

She tightened her arms around him and kissed his cheek and the hollow of his neck.

"I know. It's the same for me. You're so different now."

He turned towards her and they sank back on the bed together. He propped himself up over her and she buried her fingers in his hair, hooked a leg over his waist and kissed him fiercely. He pushed one arm under her shoulders, holding her to him while he slid his other hand up her thigh under the towel where it got busy on her breasts and stomach. Little by little he pushed the towel aside and kissed his way down her body length, ignoring her frantic efforts to pull him close and inside. When he slid first one and then two fingers inside her, she arched her back and pressed her knees against his ribs. He continued wriggling his finger tips and pushing against her with his thumb until she shuddered and bucked and screamed softly. She pulled his head up hungry for his kiss and groped for him, blindly determined now and he gave in and let her guide him inside. For a moment they held still like that and stared at each other. Monica wrapped her legs about him, crossing her ankles over his buttocks and pressing her arms on his back as if she wanted to crack his ribs. He started to thrust into her, first gently and slowly and then faster, and she rocked with him, eyes shut tight and breathing in heavily with each thrust. That way they slowly slid up the bed, driven forward inch by inch, until Monica's head touched the headboard, and Chandler stopped for a moment, disconcerted. Monica put her hands against the board and pushed herself off it and they continued in this fashion until Chandler felt he couldn't hold it back any longer. His shoulders and back were slippery with sweat and he was breathing heavily. The urge to let go became unbearable, was sweet torture. Then Monica tightened her vaginal muscles and he tensed and groaned, losing his rhythm.

"Jeez, Mon … don't …"

"It's okay, go on, you don't have to wait … I'm close … oh god … almost ..."

"I can't … oh god … ooooohhhhhh …."

She clenched around him again as he came violently and then collapsed on top of her, just barely holding himself up enough not to crush her. She kept her legs hooked around his and grabbed his hips and ass with both hands now, grinding against him.

"Yessss … just a little longer …. Oh, yes …"

"Okay … okay … I'm not going anywhere … ohhhh… wait, I think … oooohhhh …"

And he started thrusting again. Her eyes flew open and she stared at him open-mouthed.

"What? Didn't you ..?"

"Yes … but I'm still good …. Ooohhh, god, this is sooo … oooh ..." Panting heavily he pushed both his hands under her buttocks and lifted her up, changing the angle. Monica screamed and stiffened as her orgasm hit her and he slowed a little again as he waited for her to recover. She wrapped her arms around his head and cradled it against her breast and after a while he came again, shuddering and trembling. When he started to move away from her she wouldn't let him go and they remained like that a while longer, kissing lazily, their breathing slowing again. At last she did let him go and they lay on their sides, snuggling, legs intertwined.

"Wow. I mean that was … wow."

"I know! And that second time … did that happen to you before?"

He considered. "Umm … I'm not sure. It might have once or twice, but I never got to, you know, finish. That's so incredible. You are incredible."

Monica grinned widely and kissed him. "You too. You really are."

"That's because you make me." She smiled smugly at that and put her face against his chest resting her head on his arm. He put his other arm around her and slowly stroked her back.

Incredible? Maybe. Happy? Definitely.