Amazement had prompted him earlier to ask what the thing was, and jealousy had been the fuel for making fun of his brother's contraption. But now that he sat there, holding it in his hands, he realized where he had seen the thing before. He had given it to Dean for his 18th birthday. Sam had saved his lunch money, eaten the bare minimum for weeks and he bought it at a pawn shop, and then gone to a used music shop and bought his brother half of the cassette tapes that were in his collection. The look on Dean's face had been classic. His amazement was evident and he played that thing all of the time. He always had it in the pocket of his coat, and had the headphones on whenever he could. But that really didn't explain to him why the player had been turned into an EMF meter and where in the hell his brother had learned to do something like that.
The shower stopped and Sam counted the seconds until Dean emerged from the bathroom. Boredom and close quarters had encouraged Sam to time his brother from time of shower turning off to the door opening. When they were teenagers, it had given him enough time to try to figure out how to get Dean to cave and let him do what he asked, because for all intents and purposes Dean was the one whose permission he needed.
When he was in high school and Dean's hair had been much longer than it was now, it had taken him 20 minutes from shower water turning off until out of the bathroom, but now that Dean's hair was significantly shorter, something that had caught Sam off guard, the last time he saw Dean his hair almost brushed his shoulders in the back and touched his ears in the front, and now it only took him two to three minutes after the water turned off for him to emerge from the bathroom.
"What are you doing with the EMF reader Sammy?" Dena asked as he put his clothes back into his bag.
"Just wondering how exactly you did it."
"I'm not a complete and total idiot you know." Dean had meant for it to be a joke but the words soured on Sam's stomach.
"I never thought you were an idiot." Sam said.
"Sammy, come on." Dean rolled his eyes.
"But why this walkman?"
"Don't you remember?"
"What?"
"You gave it to me for my birthday."
"I remember that part."
"Well, I couldn't just throw it away when it broke."
"Most people would."
"Most people get to see their brothers when ever they want to." Dean cringed. He said more than he intended. He had engaged in a chick flick moment and there was now no escape.
"So, you kept this because of me." Dean sighed.
"It's no big deal, Sammy." Dean shrugged and sat down on his bed. "It broke and I needed an EMF meter."
"Dad has like three meters. You didn't need to make one."
"Dad had taken off on me. And took most of the weapons and stuff with him. I had made him mad about something, I don't remember what, and I couldn't exactly go to Wal-Mart and ask for an EMF meter. So that was all I had, and I had broke it right after you went to school, and it was just sitting in my bag so I figured I'd see if I could make a meter out of it." He shrugged. "And it worked. Go figure."
"How did you bust the walkman?"
"Uhhh." Dean smiled sheepishly. "It sort of made contact with a wall of a motel room." Dean said as he pretended to look for the remote.
"Made contact with the wall. And how exactly does a walkman do that?"
"Maybe it was propelled by an angry spirit." Dean tried.
"Maybe it was propelled by an angry brother?" Sam asked.
"Yeah whatever,"
"Why did you chuck it?"
"Why does it matter?"
"It just does."
"That isn't an answer Sam."
"It is for you."
"Sam, I don't want to talk about it."
"You never want to talk about anything." Sam said in a huff and threw the meter in the bag. "It's always, 'shut up Sam' 'not now Sam' 'drop it Sam.' But every single time I have a nightmare I am expected to just share everything. Well, why doesn't that street go two ways?"
"Why should it?"
"What?"
"Why should I tell anyone anything? You're going to leave, Dad left. Hell I'm pretty sure I can say something to Bobby and he'll tell me never to call him again. So what does it matter if I tell you why I threw the walkman at the wall? It is a good hunting tool now. Just go with it."
"Dean, I'm not.."
"What? Not going to leave when we find dad?" Dean shrugged. "Of course you will. Go back to Stanford and get that education. I would if I were you. Why shouldn't you?"
"But I wouldn't not talk to you."
"You didn't for four years…"
"Wait. Don't you do that Dean. You pushed me away that last time. You told me that you didn't need me." Dean looked down at the comforter on the bed.
"I said that because I didn't want you hurt. You had that pretty thing, and you had everything you wanted. I knew better. I knew if I kept in touch with you I would have done exactly what I did, get you back on the hunt. And look at you, you're miserable. It is all my fault. I should have just simply stayed away from you."
"Dean…"
"I don't want to talk anymore Sam." Dean slipped under the covers and turned away from his brother. "Good night Sam." Sam shook his head, frustration bubbling to his throat. All of this because of a stupid EMF meter.
