A/N:

Yesh,

I haven't updated in FOREVER

Just don't kill me… and yes, it's short. Sorry!

Secret Secret Santa

Naruto was waving his hands in the air, making wild gestures to Deidara as he explained what Konoha did for Christmas. The blond artist was staring at Naruto, completely captivated and fascinated. Itachi sighed and did an almost-eye roll. But Uchihas don't show emotion, so it was an 'almost'.

"It really wasn't that great…" Itachi commented, bored.

"It got a lot better after you left! Plus, Deidara tells me you guys don't do anything for Christmas!" Naruto retorted heatedly.

"Hmm… un, I think we should have a Christmas party here, un!" Deidara exclaimed enthusiastically.

Naruto forgot about being angry at Itachi and grinned. "THAT IS ONE AWESOME IDEA!" And then the two pranced off, leaving Itachi in blessed solitude.

xXx

"Pleeaaasseeee, Kisame?" Naruto begged, on his knees. His blue eyes were wide and sparkling, and Deidara was giving the shark-man his 'puppy-dog look.' Kisame sighed and muttered, "Fine."

He hefted an axe from his hidden weapons store, and Naruto gave him a puzzled look. "Aren't you going to use the Big-Ass Sword?" He asked stupidly.

"Samehada" – Kisame put special emphasis on the name – "shaves, not cuts. I'd have to use this here axe."

"Oh." Naruto said, which said 'I see (said the blind man to the deaf man) which pretty much means I have no idea what the difference is' in one word.

And then Kisame proceeded outside, to the marked tree.

xXx

"WHAT THE HELL?" Half of Zetsu shouted in outrage, as he watched Deidara and Naruto drag in the freshly-cut tree.

"You destroyed a tree's life for no reason?"

"Er…" Naruto began, dropping the tree as he scratched the back of his head nervously.

"Kisame did it, un." Deidara supplied quickly, as he and Naruto picked up the tree and rushed off.

Zetsu sputtered in anger, and stalked off.

xXx

"No, no, no! We're supposed to put the bigger ornaments up top?" Naruto's firm order turned into a question as he began to doubt his reasoning.

"Un?" Deidara murmured as he fumbled with the angel.

"Yeah… the bigger ornaments go on the bot – oof!" Naruto was cut off as something pushed him from behind. He flailed his arms, swinging them like a windmill.

"I'm gonna" – and then he fell, knocking the tree over in the process.

"What the, UN?" Deidara had time to yelp as he, too, wobbled and dropped.

xXx

Naruto and Deidara had spent the remainder of the evening creating non-genjutsu disguises. They had then traveled to Konoha in those disguises overnight, for a healing.

Naruto had broken his leg and two ribs, and Deidara his arm.

"Un, Aruto, why did MY arm have to get broken? It's the same one that you guys detached, too!"

Naruto answered with a snicker and a muttered, "Life hates you, Dei."

The two waited as a pretty, pink-haired medic-nin came in to heal them.

Sakura. Naruto signed to Deidara.

Man, she's hot, un!

Naruto rolled his eyes as Sakura healed his leg and ribs. Deidara yelped as his arm healed.

"At least we get to see the Konoha Christmas party, Dei."

"Un, too bad I- er, Achi had to miss it."

xXx

At the hideout, Itachi sneezed as he opened his Secret Santa gift from the Leader. It was a beautifully wrought katana with his name etched in the hilt.

"Ha, that was classic. We managed to get both Naruto and Deidara out of here!" Kisame chuckled with glee, as he opened his cross-necklace from non other than Hidan.

"It was kind of mean." Tobi remarked somewhat sadly.

Kisame snorted. "It was their fault. We were going to tell them about Secret Santa eventually. Huh, you'd think Deidara would remember."

A/N:

The end.

Yesh, it was short.

No I did not reread it for mistakes.

Sorry.

I was rushed.

--Aes Sedai