Disclaimer – I do not own Twilight. All recognizable plot and characters belong to the talented Stephanie Meyer.
This story is rated M. Some scenes will be graphic so please if you are under 18 do not read.
Please review.
A/ N - I got a couple reviews about Bella being different with Paul and just giving up and wanted to leave a quick explanation. She never met Paul before. Like Seth the only thing she really has against him is that he's part of Sam's pack but he's special and she can't deny how he makes her feel. She is strong enough to face what life throws at her or at least to try. So she's trying. As for her life in New Orleans, no she wasn't attached to it. She as she has said to Paul and Sam, she didn't want to get attached to people. She's very careful about loving people now. While she cares about her friends there and misses her life, the thought of leaving Paul is already painful. She accepts the imprint however begrudgingly because she is falling for Paul (wouldn't you he is fuck hot and so sweet). The same goes for Emily and Kim, she might be stronger and stand up for herself but she's not a total bitch, she's not out to be mean to people who had nothing to do with hurting her. That being said her anger at those who hurt her hasn't just vanished.
I hope those readers stick with me and give it a chance to see where it is all leading. I do have a plan and yes it will suck for the wolves.
Ok on with the story….
Every night Paul slept with me. We hadn't discussed it but after the first couple of nights, it had become a habit. I liked sleeping with him and usually couldn't sleep until he got in on the nights he had patrol.
My first week slipped quietly into the second and then third.
"Dinner at Sam's tonight." Paul came onto the back patio and handed me a beer.
"You go."
"People think I've kidnapped you and locked you in my attic."
"Our room is the attic and I had lunch with Charlie yesterday, went into PA today and went shopping with Kim two days ago."
"You're an imprint Bella, a member of the pack, they all want to spend time with you, and get to know you. All the imprints are close with each other. The pack is a family."
"I'm your imprint not the packs and I am close with Kim."
"Why wont you just try with them?"
"Why should I?"
"Please."
"Can't you just go without me?"
"I have to, there is a pack meeting in half an hour but it shouldn't take long, I'll pick up something at the diner for us to eat."
"Eat with your brothers."
"No."
"Why?"
He got up and walked into the house. When I asked him something he didn't care to talk about he just didn't answer or he ignored the question entirely and moved on to a different topic.
"Paul!" I followed him into the house.
"Do you want a veggie burger or one of those grilled chicken salad things?"
"I'll just eat here."
"I'll get you the salad thing. I should be back in an hour."
"Fine, I'll go, let me get dressed."
"You don't have to."
"Get dressed or go?"
"Both."
"Well, I am anyways so just wait."
"Fine." He leaned against the kitchen counter and took a swig of his beer. I went upstairs and changed out of his t-shirt. I was already wearing skinny jeans so I pulled on my oxblood suede four and a half inch stilettos and a red, lace edged tank before going back down stairs.
"Ready then?" He set his empty bottle in the sink.
"Sure." I handed my bottle to him and he finished it before setting it in the sink and motioning me out of the house.
I avoided people, well the pack, as much as I could.
We drove to the house in silence, but the normally easy and relaxed companionable silence was charged this time.
I greeted Kim and Jared who stopped by the house all the time and then Emily. The others I just nodded to and went to sit near Paul.
"The blond is back." Sam began.
"Double patrols?" Jake spoke up though the question was half an order. I'd never been to a pack meeting and the two of them seemed to lead it.
"The imprints should stay on the rez as much as possible. Bella, Angela this affects you most. Angela you'll need to try to cut back hours, lucky it's a sunny summer and she stays hidden during daylight hours but be careful anyways."
Jake looked around at the guys, "Any ideas on what she wants?"
"Bella?"
I turned to Quil and glared at him, "I'm not the authority on leeches just because a few tried to kill me."
"She's a yellow eye. I tried calling the Dr. Leech to see if she's one of his but no answer and she's crossed the treaty line." Sam cut back in.
"Bitch is fair game then." Jake nodded.
"Yellow-eyes?" Something was pulling at the back of my mind.
"So you do know her?" Embry seemed to sneer at me and I heard Paul growl at him.
"Go fuck yourself." I spat.
"That your staple curse?" He shot back.
"Paul, keys." I held my hand out and he sighed but put the keys in them.
I got up but was stopped by Sam, "When the meeting is over he can take you. It's getting dark and she's crossing our lines. Someone should be with you just to be safe."
"Isn't that why you have the guys running patrol or do you just get your kicks having Paul running around the woods until three am?"
"No one is running right now. Embry and Leah are going out as soon as we finish here. Patrols can be lightened when the threat is gone so if you want to share anything with us that might help please feel free."
I ignored him and walked out of the house. "Bella!" I heard him shout after me. "Collin, Brady go after her. Paul you need to get your imprint under control." I heard him growl as the twins came out onto the porch and I cursed him, no one controlled me, I wasn't a fucking pet.
"Hey Bell." Collin grinned and sat next to me.
"You enjoy pissing him off?" Brady asked leaning on the banister.
"Hey guys and no he's just such a prick its hard not to."
"He's really not." Collin informed me.
"Yeah, Sam's cool, it's just you he has problems with. Embry thinks its sexual tension." Brady added inciting a few growls from in the house where it seemed the others had halted conversation to listen to us.
"Tough shit if Emily isn't putting out, maybe if he were less of a controlling ass she'd be more receptive." Another growl sounded from inside.
"Emily and Sam are just fine, we stayed with them last week when Gran was over at the Makah rez visiting her sister in hospital, it sucks having wolf hearing sometimes." Collin felt the need to share.
"Yeah and Embry thinks you and Sam need to just fuck." Brady corrected me, inciting more noise from the eavesdropping wolves.
"I think I just threw up a little bit." I informed him.
"Maybe if you just gave in and screwed Paul you'd have an easier time accepting the imprint." Collin suggested.
"I'm just fine with the imprint it's the alpha I have an issue with." I snapped at him not bothering to tell him Paul and I had slept together. Just the once, not that I didn't want to repeat it but for some reason Paul was keeping a physical distance between us, though our conversations tended to have no boundaries and we shared a bedroom.
"Sorry." Collin held up his hands in a defensive position and I felt bad.
"Me to. Can we just not talk about this?"
"Sex?" Brady asked.
"The pack." I replied.
"We are pack." Collin informed me.
"You are pack, I'm Paul's imprint."
"That makes you pack." Collin explained.
"Which brings us back to the part I have a problem with."
"The pack?" Collin asked.
"And Sam." Brady informed him, "She has a problem with Sam."
"Which is why they should fuck?" Collin asked to innocently.
"Yup." Brady nodded. "Get rid of the sexual tension.
"I definitely threw up a little bit that time." I told them. "There is no sexual tension."
"So what kind of tension is it?"
"The normal kind."
"What's that?"
"I don't like him."
"Why?"
"He's controlling and manipulative and has to have his way. Very Cullen of him really." The growls inside were mixed with a few laughs.
"So you hate Sam for saving your life and then protecting you from two temperamental teenage werewolves?"
"Yes. No." I thought about it a minute but they quickly moved on.
"So if it's all Sam's fault why don't you talk to Jake or Quil or even Angela?"
"She doesn't like any of us." Collin informed his brother.
"I like you just fine."
Collin frowned, "So why do you hate being around us then? Besides Sam being an Alpha and all because you know, this is a pack, an Alpha is sort of standard practice."
"Yeah and as an imprint you are pack." Brady finished.
"I don't hate being around you."
"So let's go and eat. I'm starving." Collin grinned.
Brady rubbed his stomach, "Yeah, Emily made roast and Kim brought cupcakes."
I followed them back inside without thinking and cursed as I sat next to Paul, manipulative shits.
"Just to be clear I never said anything about sexual tension or you and Sam fucking." Embry spoke up.
"You just said someone should bend her over a log and screw her senseless and into submission." Quil spoke up.
"Maybe he meant himself." Seth suggested.
I heard Paul growling lowly beside me, and snapped at my new brother, "Really, do I have to have that mental picture before I eat?"
"I meant Paul." Embry insisted.
"I would hope so because Paul would so kill you for going after his girl." Jared laughed.
"Can we get back to business? Dinner will get cold." Emily spoke up.
"Sorry baby," Sam smiled at her, "Ok guys, double patrols, schedule is changed up. Paul you're on pre-dawn, Quil and Embry mornings, Seth noon through the afternoon, Twins twilight, Jacob and Leah late night."
"Why is Paul running alone at one of the most dangerous times?" I spoke up annoyed.
"I'm running with Paul." He leveled a dark look at me, "he's our best fighter, Leah is our fastest and Jake the strongest, there are reasons for why we run and when, each of us is good but we have our own strengths and we take turns running shit shifts, no one gets singled out. The only shift that's light is midday because it's been so damn sunny the leeches hide out all day, when it's cloudy one of us runs double time."
"Whatever." I admitted defeat.
"Paul can run with Embry and I'll stay on pre-dawn runs." Quil offered.
"Don't bother." I told him still looking at Sam.
"Do you have a problem with me or authority in general?" Sam glared at me.
"Both."
"Can't we just get over it?" Angela sighed.
"I'm over it." I informed her.
Sam snorted, "Obviously not so what is it going to take for you to move past the past?"
"With the Cullen's I'd say a body part or two and a nice shiny lighter. With you? A personality transplant."
"For him or you?" Embry mumbled.
"Either." I snapped at him, "Sam can drop the king of all master and commander shit or I can become a subservient little puppet for him to order around. Maybe you can ask the Cullen's for pointers on how to do that to me next time they come through. Then again, it might not work the same way twice so a lobotomy might be your only hope, just try not to leave Paul with a drooling mess, I mean I don't know how the imprint thing works but I would assume he needs me to be more than a vegetable."
"Not funny." Paul spat beside me.
"Wasn't supposed to be," I shot back.
"Sam is Alpha. He's good at it. He kept all of us from going crazy and taught us how to deal with this shit, how to focus and be better wolves so that we are safer out there, it's his job to lead us. I guess he maybe fucked up a bit with your situation but it was a rock and a fucking hard place. He's also my friend and could be yours to if you were a little less of a bitch."
"Shame he turned me into one then isn't it."
"Cullen did that. Cullen turned you into a porcelain doll and broke you. Cullen initiated the change in all of us including Jake and Quil. If you want someone to blame and hate start with him. We all blame them and none of the pack judge you for being the willing pet to the walking corpse."
"You do and you might want to blame them but remember they were long gone when Quil, Seth, Leah and the twins phased."
"The red head did that."
"Fine, it's all their fault and mine since she was here for me."
"Why are you defending them? One minute you want to light the fucker on fire and the next you're pissed I hate him for turning me and my brothers into monsters bound to La Push."
"I'm not defending them. You know I hate them and their fucking emotional manipulation game."
"So then stop blaming Sam and just blame them, even what he did is because of them, because they caused this in us."
"You're blood lines caused this in you Paul just like your fucking blood lines and ancestors bound you to me. The Cullen's had nothing to do with it." I pushed myself up off the couch again and walked for the door. Paul was instantly up as well and yanked me back around with a sharp pull on my arm, which over balanced me on my very high heals. He steadied me and I tugged my arm out of his grip.
He growled at me, "This has nothing to do with the imprint."
"As long as you hate what you are you hate me to." I spat at him, "but you never made a secret of the fact that you hated me did you? If it weren't for the imprint you'd have cheered me out of Washington. All of you would have."
He ran a hand threw his hair in agitation and it made flames of anger flare up, he got that from Sam. "I never hated you, just the fucking leech."
"Bullshit and don't fucking kid yourself about your fucking pack never judging me for the Cullen thing. You still do and you know the whole story, I can only imagine how they pity you for getting stuck with me."
"Pity me! Before Jacob imprinted he'd have killed me for imprinting on you. He and Quil both are on the head of the poor Bella, she deserves so much better than Paul committee, the one that has Sam ordering me to bring you out in public more so the pack can rescue you from me. Only the fact that you don't disappear the moment Jared shows up assures them I haven't drugged, gagged and bound you to the bed."
"Yeah well I like Jared and Kim."
"We like you to." Kim whispered breaking into our not so private discussion.
"You used to like Jacob and Quil and Angela and if you weren't so Anti-Sam you'd like Emily. Hell you'd like Sam!" Paul ignored her.
"I like Emily just fin and I'm not Anti-Sam"
"Really? Then why do you pick a fight with him every time you are in the same room and why wont you come here for dinner, or spend anytime with the pack?"
"I'm here now."
"I practically begged you to come."
"If that's you begging you need to work on it."
"Why can't you fucking try with the pack?"
He was bringing all my walls crumbling down. "Why bother? So I can loose another fucking family? No thanks. Dealing with whatever supernatural shit ties me to you is hard enough and once you decide to break the imprint I will have more than enough to deal with trying to hold the fragments of my soul together without adding sisters and brothers into the mix. That is how Cullen broke me, you can do it just fine on your own."
The fire faded from his eyes and I could see pain in their depths, though his expression and posture never changed. "I can't just decide to break the imprint Bella. There is no breaking it. You are my soul mate. Even in death we'll be tied to each other."
"If you could though you would, you don't want me."
The room was deathly silent.
"No," he finally answered seriously. "At first yes, I would have wanted it broken because I didn't know you. I didn't want anyone. I was sure it was a mistake but not now. Now if it were possible to break I'd find a way to never let that happen. I'd find a way to make it impossible again."
"I don't want to love you." I whispered, trying not to cry.
"But you can't help it anymore than I can and you don't really want to fight it." His voice was low and soft, soothing while making my eyes burn with more tears.
"I don't want to love them."
"You don't want them, don't want Sam, to have the power to hurt you again but that will never happen. I will never allow it to happen. I'd fight him if it came to that. The pack, the tribe, everything is less than you. You're the reason Bella and you're worth every beating, every moment of my fucked up life, you are worth all of it and more."
He pulled me gently into his arms, "I'm sorry you had to hurt but I will never let you hurt like that again." I cried softly into his t-shirt.
Sam broke the silence a minute later, "Jacob you're running pre-dawn with me, Quil you're with Leah at twilight. I'll run a double with Embry. Paul, take your girl home."
I ignored him and the others as Paul shifted and lifted me into his arms.
"Wait." Emily called and a moment later, I heard rustling as she handed Paul a bag. "You both need to eat."
I snuggled into Paul and let his heartbeat lull me to sleep. To many emotions had worn me out.
I woke up a few hours later in bed with Paul, "I'm sorry." I whispered.
"Why didn't you tell me anything you were feeling?"
"You never asked."
"Bella."
"What should I have said? Facts are what they are. You never wanted me and hated getting stuck with me."
"Is that the impression you got the last few weeks?"
"We slept together and the imprint got worse."
"It's not a sickness Bella, it doesn't get better or worse it just is. All that happened was we accepted the imprint, embraced it even."
"How can you be sure it wont go away?"
"Because you own half of my soul just like I own half of yours. When one of us dies, half of each of our souls die and half will live on with the one of us still living. Soul mates are perfect matches, true mates. It isn't something that can ever just go away."
"How do you know? It just magically happened maybe it will magically stop."
"The magic wasn't the match Bella. You were always my soul mate; from the moment you were born, you were meant for me, just like I was meant for you. It's not about me being a wolf or some supernatural voodoo shit to make babies or whatever. The only magic was the gift of being able to recognize you without a shadow of a doubt. The wolf knows his mate even if the man is blind to it. I would never have been whole, never have been as happy as I can be with you. I will be a better man and a better wolf with you because I am complete with you."
"I'm still scared." I whispered the words to him as if afraid to speak them aloud.
"Me to baby." He sighed, "I don't deserve you and while the wolf won't allow me to be with anyone else now that he has found his mate, you can still choose to leave me. Your soul will not be complete and it will feel the loss but you can still make that choice, to be with someone else." His arm tightened around me. "I think that would actually kill me but if it was what you wanted, I would let you go."
"You underestimate you Paul. You deserve more than I have left to give."
"So we are both a little damaged, maybe it's part of why we are so perfect together. We see the worth of each other more than ourselves."
"I'll try with the pack but I cant guarantee anything with Sam. There may be some resentment there still."
"I'd like nothing more than to keep you to myself but the pack is our family, it is important that you try and I know you'll work it out. The rest of us have and it was not always easy."
I yawned, "Paul?"
"Yeah?" I didn't say anything but after a moment he murmured, "me too" and kissed the top of my head. I fell asleep against his heartbeat, knowing it beat out the words neither of us was entirely ready to speak; I love you.
