Chapter 8
Shoujo-Ai Twins (Part 1)


Disclaimer: Lucky Star & Excel Saga are ones I don't own, but this parodies Episode 16 of Excel Saga; see ending of Chapter 9 for Writer's Note about this part. Forgive me, Nabeshin and Rikdo.


Ever since Jonesy and Jude gave Miyazawa and May a home to bunk in, they felt relaxed, and all because they helped Rino Rando on her first date with Jude… then there was that bomb in the mall.

May then wanted to order some food.

May asked, "Say, should we order some pizza?"

Miyazawa sighed, "I suppose. I was thinking of ordering chicken teriyaki."

"Aw, my goodness… Why not both?"

Miyazawa scolded, "ONE! One or another. I'm not splurging for two dishes!"

May sighed, "Fine…"

DING-DONG!

"PIZZA TIME!" May cheered, as Miyazawa was scoffing.

"I didn't even order yet!" She shouted.

May opened the door and cheered for the food, but all she saw was a car with two huge packages. May was confused. What were in them?

XXXXX

Elsewhere, in the offices of L.S.A.A.W.S. (The Lucky Star Association of Alternate World Studies), Konata, the doctor who created Tsukasa and Kagami that blew up recently, got a call from her superior.

"Again?" She asked on the phone to her boss, "This is like the fifth time since my creations have been used. I may be a crazed otaku/mad scientist, but I can't have the twins destroyed again, so frequently. Even you'd understand that they cannot be replaced, so easily. But, of course, we do have a surplus of them."

"I'm sure you've heard about the whole rift in the universal portals, and also the Galleria Mall bomb incident, just recently," the boss spoke, "I wanted to use them, just to run a scan on each world, according to their factors, heritage, and even skill. But mostly because of their personality."

"Oh, it's a Moé factor," Konata remarked.

"Yes," the boss, with pink hair and glasses, replied, "We cannot accept this matter, at all. This entire universe is targeted!"

"The Secret Society again?"

"Yes. Them, again; that or a darker force in this world."

"Oh, okay, Miyuki-San. I shall do it, but they are being delivered, right now."

"Good! I also wanted to test out that new personality chip you've installed in them."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Remember, Konata-San, the twins must observe each world, by any means necessary. Understood?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"How long will the delivery last?"

"About five minutes. Relax. I got a choco cornet with my name on it, when this is over. Goodbye."

She turned off the phone and thought, "I sure hope our version of the Ropponmatsu is WAY better than that creepy adult anime version. I just hope they don't blow up, this time."

XXXXX

Miyazawa was astonished, as she looked at the packages on the box.

"WHOA! HOW…"

May giggled, "I know! And it was all free! The guy in the beard stubble and long shirt in the car said that it's already paid for!"

Miyazawa was confused, "Well, as long as it's supplies for this house."

May called to the guy, "Okay, dude, please drop cargo now!"

"Coming right up, Trixie," he smiled, "Push!"

He pressed the button on the steering wheel and the packages shot up. May panicked and tried to catch it.

"NO! NO! It's falling!" May cried, trying to catch it, but it landed on her.

WHAM!

"Ahh… Haruka fell for it…" she moaned, trying to get up.

Miyazawa picked up a package that says "Tsukasa". May had one that says "Kagami".

Miyazawa viewed the package, which was a capsule inside, and saw a girl with short purple hair and a bow on her head. She was wearing a pink school uniform. She was motionless with her eyes closed.

"Whoa… Talk about bizarre…" Miyazawa thought.

The girl opened her eyes and saw Miyazawa. Yukino dropped in fear.

"AHH!" Miyazawa gasped.

May looked at hers, which was opening. This one is just like the other girl, but with longer hair and pigtails. The girl opened her eyes and looked at May in a blushed look, as she stepped out of the capsule. May and the girl blushed and looked at each other, continuously staring at each other.

"They're off in their own world, and I can't even break these idiots apart," Miyazawa groaned.

The girl with short hair shouted, "Big Sister!"

She held her tight and grinned, "Nice to meet you!"

Miyazawa thought, "Uh… What's with the sister bit?

Writer's Note: Call it imprinting…

Miyazawa spotted a small star on her uniform. She gasped, jumping to conclusions, "AHH! Another demon girl!"

She panicked and shouted in a fast motion, while the small girl clasped her leg, "I know it was chapters ago, but I know that she's not a robot! For some reason, they decided to use demons or succubus or even aliens! I don't even know anymore, in fact, I want to go home! Back away, Lucky Star from Hell!"

She called to the car, "Miz-K Takase! Do something! HEY!"

The car disappeared… ages ago.

"And he disappeared, while driving off-screen. That's just great, the bastard!" Miyazawa cried.

"In that case, we should be able to ask anybody what and why these ladies are here," May suggested.

"WHA!" Miyazawa panicked, "I forgot to ask him to take me home, away from this horror show!"

She ran off, "COME BACK, MIZ-K!"

She stopped and caught her breath, "Damn! There's no sign of him over there, either!"

The girl then tackled Miyazawa, "Wait for me, Big Sister!"

She tackled her down, breaking her spine.

"I love you…" she whispered.

Miyazawa groaned, "I'm going to die…"

She fainted, with blood spurting out her mouth. Don't worry; she'll live.

XXXXX

Inside their home, Miyazawa & May let the girls in their home.

Miyazawa introduced themselves to them, "I'm Yukino Arima, and this little freeloader is May."

May bowed, "Very few call me Haruka. So, now that we finished our intros, would you like to introduce yourselves?"

The girls were puzzled, as Miyazawa was angry.

"Listen, you dummkopfs!" She shouted, "If you don't introduce yourselves, we will send you away to another part of this world-slash-fan fiction and put you in a late night talk show! Got it?"

May whispered, "Uh, Yuki, that particular chapter has been already finished."

She then suggested, "Well, since we cannot send them back, I have the packing slips for their names."

She did. The slips said: To: Yukino Miyazawa-Arima & Haruka, From: Unknown origin; Package inside: two (2) Ropponmatsu Units, named Tsukasa & Kagami".

"What the nut is a Ropponmatsu?" Yukino asked.

"Beats me," May said, as she looked at the names of the girls.

She pointed at the girl with long pigtails, "You must be Karagi, right?"

The girl spoke in a robotic voice, "Incorrect. You may call this unit Kagami. My full bio is Kagami Hiiragi."

May then pointed at the other girl, "Then you must be…"

The girl bowed in a cheerful voice, "I'm Tsukasa Hiiragi."

Miyazawa boasted, "YES! WE NOW KNOW YOUR NAMES!"

Tsukasa cheered on, as May and Kagami bowed at each other. Miyazawa groaned, "This situation is going downhill… I want to return to Sakura and Souichi…"

Tsukasa looked at Pero Pero and grasped onto him.

"Yeah! What a cute doggie!" She smiled.

Miyazawa griped, "He's NOT your dog! I don't know why, but it was in the previous chapter that he was with us. Just don't be mean to him, brat."

Tsukasa pouted, "My name's not 'Brat'."

Kagami responded, "When it is time to cook him, please inform me."

Yukino huffed, "NO ONE COOKS MY DOG! Besides, we don't know if we got any food."

Pero Pero fainted in glee. Tsukasa gasped, "Whoa, he died."

She then turned to May and whispered, "Hey, you don't supposed that she would ask us to stay here, do you?"

May cheered, "Oh, you know, the more the merrier. We're okay with friends tagging along!"

"Shut up!" Miyazawa shouted, "You're not helping!"

"Excuse me," Kagami asked, "But are there any orders or tasks for me to do? We must integrate ourselves in this household."

Miyazawa dropped and threw a fit, "WAH! They are planning on staying!"

May replied, "Well, that's fine, except that we have nothing to clean. We've moved here, after we helped our friend, Rino. And as for cooking, we're lacking ingredients, as of this moment."

Kagami said, "Well then, is this an emergency situation?"

Pero Pero started to convulse in Tsukasa's arms.

Miyazawa declared, "Look, the fact is that we don't need help! We're not sure why, but we don't need you two freakazoids here, lousing our trip home!"

May added, "This is sort of our temporary home."

Miyazawa then declared, "So, we've decided to send you back."

Kagami insisted, "But this was the only address that we were sent to."

Miyazawa started to bawl, "WHY ME? I'm cursed in different worlds, real or an asylum!"

Tsukasa spoke, "It must be fate to meet like this, Big Sis Yuki!"

"Don't steal May's lines or be so metaphysically psychological, damn it! May!" Yukino shouted.

Miyazawa was sulking, as May & Kagami played patty cake, very slow and cautious.

She scoffed, "They're getting into each other, pretty well."

Tsukasa found a picture of Arima.

"What's this?" She asked.

"HEY!" Miyazawa cried out, "Get your hands off my picture frame, you little CM Punk!"

"My name's not Punk, it's Tsukasa!"

"I don't care if you're Superman, Sukiyaki, or Soup bone! How dare you hold a picture of my Souichi-kun?"

Tsukasa blushed and said, "Oh… is he your boyfriend? You must be in love with him. You're so lucky."

Miyazawa sighed, "Oh, well, it's actually nice. But…"

Kagami requested, "But if that's the case, why aren't you in the picture, Miss Arima?"

BONK!

Tsukasa got a lump in her head, after Miyazawa socked her.

"I'm gonna hit you!" Yukino shouted.

"Don't say it after you hurt me!" Tsukasa whimpered.

She then asked, "You must be very hungry, after you suddenly traveled here. You must be starving after those long walks and low blood pressure."

A basin dropped on her head.

Kagami got up and said, "Well, I guess we can help. We'll be obtaining food supplies for you."

May then informed, "Uh, Harajuku sisters, we don't have a lot of money…"

The sisters announced, "Don't worry!"

Miyazawa then giggled and said to May, "You know, aside from their weird behavior, they're really cute."

"Indeed," May smiled.

May then snapped, "Freeloader?"

However, unbeknownst to them, Cassidy and the other guy were watching from far away. Also, don't ask how they escaped Mall Jail.

"So, the twerpette and the other woman are with other twerpettes," Cassidy whispered, "We got them now, now that they are safely located here."

Butch was dressed heavily in his helmet, waiting for another sudden attack to happen.

"I hope nothing bad happens to me again," he whined.

"Stop acting like a bitch, Butch," she snuffed.

"It's Bitch, not, I mean, Butch! AHH! You're confusing me!" He screamed.

Cassidy then thought, "Not once we went close to those twerps. I have a feeling that it'll be like back in that mall again, and also with that shooting star incident."

She then instructed Butch, "Disperse, Bitch!"

"Roger that!" Butch saluted, "Also, please try to remember my name, instead of a profanity word, next time."

He then gasped, "WAIT! Why are we retreating?"

Cassidy then thought, "Well, let's plan ahead and stay out of this one… for your safety. We'll get that twerpette, yet."

Butch was relieved.

The four girls left, as Jen walked passed them, without knowing. She then thought, "Huh? It's them…"

She turned around and saw them walk away. She then said, "It couldn't be… I thought Konata had it taken care of. So, how come they are in school uniforms? And I'm pretty sure that little one in the green and orange is the one that helped Jude with his girlfriend."

She then walked away, shaking her head, and said, "Nah… It's best to leave it alone and find out."

XXXXX

Meanwhile, at the L.S.A.A.W.S., Konata got the call from her boss, Miyuki Takara.

"Imprinting?" Miyuki asked.

"Yes," Konata responded, "I built that feature in their AI, using those same principles in those adult simulation games, where you raised the girl into the kind of girl you'd like them to be. In fact, they fall in love with the first life form they'll see, upon awakening. You know, like seeing their mother for the first time, after hatching from an egg?"

Miyuki griped, "Yes, I see. But the Hiiragi Twins have not been delivered yet! Where are they? I grew worried, and it's only been three hours now!"

Konata smiled and said in embarrassment, "Uh, I kind of delivered them to a small house, to live, just to set them up, about three hours and five minutes ago."

Miyuki was shocked that she dropped her glasses, "Oh, dear…"

She then thought, "I wonder who'd be stupid enough to own Tsukasa and Kagami? Besides, what harm can it do? Our friends approved it, just to help out the matter. I hope they'd survive in this weird lifestyle, just to fix everything."

XXXXX

Meanwhile, Miz-K was driving away, thinking of something.

"Damn it all," he thought, "It's been only eight chapters now, and still no solution! If we don't find a way out of this universal-."

He stopped and looked up, seeing a girl flying in the night sky and stars. She had purple hair and glasses. She was being taken by the dark May, who was laughing evilly.

"We should be almost there," the dark May replied, "My Queen, I promise you that the universe will become one, like the song "We are One"! And upon Michi, we shall cast upon a dark shadow over the pitiful mortals; and upon the third day of Sweeps Week, the Lucky Channel set will be destroyed at 21 episodes. Now, my highness, myself, Tachibana, and our people in the Adult Resistance will balance the power of order, and a side of mashed potatoes and gravy! Speaking of which, it's time for lunch. UNION BREAK!"

She and the girl in glasses floated away.

"NO! But the time is too soon! This evil deity isn't ready… yet!" Miz-K cried out.

He pressed a button on the steering wheel and drove off in the skies. Miz-K Takase's car was now transformed into a jet plane.

"AIR MIZ-K! FIRE!"

He zoomed off, but the speed of the car suddenly ripped the hybrid aircraft apart. He fell to the water, screaming.

"Aw, man!" He cried out, "The guy at the dealership said that this car actually flew!"


To be continued…