A/N: I'm so sorry. I referenced the Hat Fic. (and the Milk Fic, oh my). It'll be okay, though. It's worth it.

I hope you can forgive me.

Reviews are cherished!

-Justin

Chapter Eight: Phil

1-12-15

"I can't believe your parents shipped it," Dan mused, lifting his head slightly. He was currently sprawled out across my chest, one hand tracing light patterns on the skin he could reach without moving. His eyes met mine with a sparkle, reflecting the light from the desk lamp. I took his other hand in mine, absentmindedly playing with his fingers. We'd just gotten back from a two-day visit with my parents. Even though we didn't technically celebrate Thanksgiving in the UK, my mum still liked to have everyone together around the time it was happening in America.

"Mum was convinced even before any of this happened," I explained with a giggle. I could still picture her face when I'd told her that Dan and I were a thing now. She was mostly angry, because she'd been so firm in her belief that we were already secretly dating. She'd settled down pretty quick, though. "I thought she was going to melt when you told her how you fell on me."

"'Oh, how romantic!'" Dan tried a very bad impression of her voice, repeating what she'd said after we recounted the story of our accidental first kiss. It seemed like forever ago that it had happened, and to be quite honest, I was loving it. I'd never admitted it to Dan, but these feelings were present from the beginning, albeit low-key. I'd done enough thinking on the matter to feel confident in that fact. "'Just like the movies,'" Dan continued, voice growing higher. He started to recite another line, but stopped when he began a coughing fit. It didn't help that he was laughing hysterically by this point.

"You gonna live?" I asked, slapping his back with my palm. He sat up suddenly, practically dry-heaving. Even as he continued to hack up a lung, he kept giggling. "What's so funny?" I finally had to ask.

It took another five minutes for him to calm down enough to talk to me, but he finally leaned forward to nuzzle his head into my shoulder and wrap his arms around my neck. "My voice won't go that high anymore," he said, lips right at my ear. His breath tickled my skin and I shivered.

"For a second there, I thought you were dead," I told him, wrapping my own arms around his waist. He pressed himself closer to me in response to the contact, his body like a warm blanket. It was one of the best things about this new situation. One of his hands went back to drawing circles on my skin and I let my eyes close to fully enjoy the sensation. I remembered my thought from earlier, and the words slipped out before I could even give my brain the option. "I always liked you, you know."

To my surprise, nothing changed. His fingers kept grazing over my shoulder. There was no gasp to let me know I'd shocked him. Instead, he lifted his head again to look at me. "I liked you, too. Why else would I spend all that time stalking you?" His features twisted into a scowl as he thought that over and then corrected himself. "That sounded better in my head."

"What on earth have we been doing all these years?" I questioned with a smile. He shuffled around a bit until his face was right above mine.

"Bottling up our feelings like normal people." His eyes crinkled up in the corners as he grinned, revealing the sad dimple everyone loved.

"Let's not do that anymore," I suggested huskily, a familiar tingle rising up in my throat. His lips were millimeters away, electricity buzzing between us.

"Agreed," he replied after a moment, closing the distance. His drawing hand slid up to cradle the back of my head, fingers twisting in my hair. He tossed a leg across my lap to straddle me and then settled himself on my chest. I moved one hand to cup his cheek, while the other held him tighter, suddenly craving to have him closer. Sometimes when we ended up like this, I felt the sad pangs in my heart at the thought of our early relationship. Purely platonic in the beginning, I never would have dreamed I'd be holding that beautiful, shy boy in my arms. A person could see the beauty in someone else without wanting to get in their pants, right?

"What are you dreaming about?" Dan's voice cut off my train of thought, but I didn't know where it was going, really. It took me a second to realize my eyes were closed- nice one, Phil- and when I opened them, I saw Dan's eyes watching me with shameless adoration. He'd pulled away from my face just enough to see me properly, and his eyes shone with something I knew to be love. He loved me.

"Us," I replied eventually, smiling and hoping he could see the same expression in my eyes. He studied me for a moment longer, and then his lips curled up in the corners as he leaned down again to kiss me once more.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I was thinking," I began tentatively, already knowing how this would end, but needing to try anyway. We were sat on the sofa, laptop before us on the coffee table, hands clasped between us. Dan's liveshow was due to start in twenty minutes. He tilted his head to look at me, chocolate eyes sparkling and smiling wide enough to show off his dimple.

"Yes," he said, squeezing my fingers. I pulled back a bit in confusion, unsure of his motives right now.

"Yes?" I repeated lamely, as he leaned forward suddenly to kiss me. His lips lingered a moment longer than necessary, and when he pulled back he was wearing a different smile. This one was softer, but somehow more pronounced. More genuine, I thought. He moved his free hand from his side to press against my neck, fingers curling into the hair in back.

"Let's tell them," he whispered, as if speaking any louder would somehow ruin whatever moment we were having.

I was shocked, to say the least. I could clearly remember that first morning in bed with him, watching with wide eyes as he almost had a panic attack over the fans finding out. "Are you serious?" He nodded once and pressed his lips to my cheek. "What changed? You were so worried before."

"Oh, I still am," he said, patting my knee. "But I'm also curious." He laughed at my expression- eyes wide and slack jawed- before adding, "I don't want another 2012 to happen." His tone dropped low, and I knew he was remembering the dark time in both our lives when the fans got way too involved and he couldn't handle the stress any longer. It very nearly destroyed our friendship, but somehow we got through it. "…and I don't want the speculations to get so out of control, you know?" I snapped my attention back to him when I realized he was still talking. "If we tell them what's real, they won't feel so tempted to make up wild stories about what really happens in this apartment." He shuddered then, rolling his shoulders back and grimacing at something he'd suddenly remembered.

"What do they say?" I wondered, because I'd never been as brave as him when it came to those things. I mostly just ignored it or avoided it. He started to reply, but then his laptop dinged, indicating that we were about to go live. I saw his expression then, his eyes lighting up like they did whenever he had an idea, and then his features twisted into something almost scary-looking. He gave my hand one last squeeze and then moved so he could work the trackpad. I watched him until the chat started filling up, then moved my focus to read what they were saying. "Just about everyone is shocked," I commented with a chuckle. "They're all demanding to know why they weren't informed this would be a joint liveshow."

"Hey Phil," Dan said abruptly, turning to face me. "There's something I've been wanting to try with you." He had a glint in his eyes that was making me somewhat anxious, and one glance at the chat told me I wasn't the only one who'd noticed.

Uhhhhh Dan what's wrong with you?

Please kiss

Did you guys not notice them holding hands?

I have a weird feeling about this you guuys

"Um, okay," I replied, because there wasn't much else I could've said. He stood up quickly and left the lounge before I could even blink. I looked back to the chat. "Let's all hope I'm not about to be murdered," I joked, scrolling through the messages. Everyone was either asking if this was planned or if something terrible was about to happen. One comment popped up, saying, Dan had that same look when shit was about to go down in the hat fic, and then immediately someone else was screaming, DON'T MENTION THAT NIGHTMARE. I scrunched my nose up at that, trying to remember where I'd heard of it before. Unfortunately for me, the image popped into my head right as Dan appeared in the doorway, cradling his llama hat in his hands. I could already tell there was something inside it, and felt sick as he took a seat beside me again, still gripping the edges of the hat tightly.

My eyes bulged when I saw that it was full to the brim with something white, but before I could scream or cry or maybe run away, Dan's eyes were boring into mine as he whispered, "Don't worry, love," in a soothing voice. I honestly didn't know if that made it better or worse, but I nodded anyway, and then we both turned to the screen. Dan's evil eye was back as he returned to his little skit.

"I read something interesting the other day," he continued, ignoring the chat that was blowing up with mentions of the Hat Fic and for me to GET OUT NOW and omfg he finally snapped. "I was hoping you'd help me out with something."

I thought I knew what he was doing. His sarcastic nature made it almost impossible to be sincere about anything, especially this delicate subject we were about to breach to over 20,000 people. He was going to announce our relationship via horrifying reenactments that would most likely cause permanent scarring.

"Dan, are you sure"-

"Shut up, Phil," was his harsh reply. To the viewers, he said, "Now, I have something special here. Phil's gonna help me with a problem." The next few minutes were the most random, confusing moments of my life. He glanced at me once more, showing off his dimple and giving me a soft smile that was probably meant to reassure me, and then he turned to his other side. "Hold one side of this for me," he instructed, and I stuck one hand out to grip the hat while he took a hand away to reach for something.

"This is too much milk for one person," he announced, producing two straws. He wore a cheeky grin as he passed one to me and asked, "Would you help me out, babe?" I took the straw with a straight face, but I was dying inside. Of all the things I'd been imagining, this was definitely not one of them. I purposely ignored the chat, because I knew if I looked, I'd burst out laughing.

"For a second there, I was kind of terrified," I told him honestly, twisting the straw between my fingers. I wasn't entirely sure what to do with it, because I knew he didn't actually expect me to drink what was in that hat. I'd be sick for a month.

"Hang on a sec," he said, standing up again. He took the hat in his hands again and left the lounge a second time. When he came back empty-handed, I couldn't hold back any longer. My shoulders were shaking with laughter as he plopped down beside me and tossed an arm around my neck. "Now let's all agree to never be creative again," he stated, pointing a finger at the screen. I could only imagine what was happening to those poor peoples' minds. I watched the messages for a moment, still giggling.

What in satan's name just happened

what is gOIng ON

babe?

UH WHAT

IS MY OTP CANON?!

"Are we canon?" I asked, reaching up to grasp the hand resting on my shoulder.

"Looks like it," he confirmed with a laugh, tightening his grip. I tore my eyes away to see their reaction and jumped when he slid closer and tucked his head into the crook of my shoulder. He took a deep breath and whispered, "Might as well sell it," before pulling back slightly. With one glance at the screen, he said loudly, "Pay attention, you shits" before smashing his mouth into mine. The kiss only lasted a few seconds and I didn't even want to know what the chat said at this point.

"Well, I think it's been a productive liveshow, Dan," I said when he was settled beside me again. "Did you get it all out of your system?"

"Nope," he declared with a grin, throwing an arm over my shoulder once more. "Looks like we're out of time, but tune in next week for a dramatic reenactment of the Milk Fic." He paused a moment to glare at the screen. "That's right you pervs, I know all about the crack fics."

"Bye guys!" I said quickly, just as the show ended. The loading screen appeared as the queue waited for the next person in line, and I reached out with a shaking hand to close the laptop. As soon as I knew for sure that nobody would catch an accidental encounter, I reared back and smacked his arm as hard as I could. He winced, but then laughed, because I was about as strong as a butterfly.

"I think that did the trick," Dan mused, clearly proud of himself. He leaned into my side, hugging me close. "Sorry if I traumatized you." Another round of laughter.

"Do we have any milk left?" I asked with a smirk, unable to feel anything but amusement.

"That wasn't milk," he answered. My jaw dropped.

"What the hell was it, then?"

"Powder and water."

"I honestly don't know what to say to that," I told him, wrapping an arm around his waist. He leaned forward to face me and I pulled him onto my lap, laughing again. I couldn't remember the last time I'd laughed this much. He settled himself on my hips, one leg on each side, and pressed his hands to my neck. From this angle, his fringe was falling down, so I reached out to smooth it back, letting my fingers linger in his hair before pulling him toward me. "Honestly, though, I'm not surprised," I murmured right as our lips met, his fingers curling in on themselves as he tucked himself closer. The next few minutes were silent apart from the pops of our lips connecting and disconnecting over and over again, soft sighs released in between kisses, tongues sliding together. For those few moments, nothing else mattered; we could have been the only two people left in the world.

"I love you," he whispered eventually, lips still barely touching mine. The feeling of it sent a shiver down my spine. He pressed his forehead to mine, smiling softly, and tugged absentmindedly at my hair. "Always have, I think."

I tried not to laugh at what that sounded like, instead placing a palm under his left ear and meeting his lips once more. "I think I love you, too."

A/N: Shoutout to CrazyBlueOwl for giving me the idea to incorporate these nightmarish fics into their coming out experience. I really am sorry, but I don't think I've ever laughed so hard while writing. I hope you weren't too badly traumatized.