A/N: Thank you for staying with me through my hectic (update) life. This chapter is probably the last one? Followed by an epilogue?
They stayed on the beach for two more hours, looking at the ocean but mostly at each other, until Jane couldn't rub the warmth back in to Maura's hands. They hold hands on their way back to the cottage and it seems even more natural now.
Maura takes the key from her pocket, opening the front door before letting the brunette take off her coat. She walks into the kitchen, taking her time to figure out how the coffee machine works while Jane hangs up their coats in the hallway. Just when she has figured out how the machine works, two strong arms wrap around her.
"We're going back to bed," a rough voice says. Maura leans into the embrace, simply letting herself enjoy the moment. A small gasp escapes her when she feels a pair of, unexpectedly soft, lips press a kiss to the side of her neck.
"Jane," she whispers, when the kisses continue. "You need to stop."
"Why?" the brunette says, purposely continuing her trail of kisses down Maura's neck.
"Because I can't, I can't ... think when you do that," the smaller woman replies, still leaning into the strong arms of her girlfriend.
Jane does what she's told and stops, exhaling extra loud on purpose. She waits until Maura turns around and she's able to press her lips against Maura's, only to pull back after a few seconds. Maura goes to protest, but Jane holds up her hand.
"Nope. You told me to stop," she says, smirking. She knows very well what Maura wants.
"Jane," Maura starts. "I want that too. It's just, as much as I would like this to continue, I'm way too tired to even think about that right now."
The brunette nods, placing her hand in the small of Maura's back before guiding her towards the bedroom. When they're in the bedroom, she takes the sweater off that Maura's wearing, only to reveal another t-shirt. She goes to lift that up too, but the smaller woman stops her. "Don't," she says, deliberately avoiding Jane's eyes. The brunette stops, but doesn't let go just yet. She uses her finger to lift up Maura's chin, forcing her to look into her eyes.
"What's wrong?" Jane says, voice gentle. Hazel eyes meet her brown ones, that look a little sad.
"The surgery left a scar. That's normal, but I just, I don't know how to deal with it," Maura confesses. "I feel so ugly."
Jane lets go of Maura's chin, taking both of her girlfriend's hands in hers.
"Do you know how many scars I have? They don't make you ugly, honey. They're there as a reminder that you survived."
"Do you think that way about yours too?" Maura asks, looking up at Jane.
"No," the brunette answers honestly, after a minute of silence, "but I'm working on it."
Jane pulls the smaller woman in for a hug, still amazed by the way it fits perfectly when she wraps her arms around Maura.
"How do you always know exactly what to say?" Maura says into Jane's neck.
"I don't know. I guess I'm just that good," Jane jokes, wanting to see her girlfriend smile again. Maura pulls back and smacks her shoulder, but secretly loves the jokes the brunette always seems to be making at the right moments. "Are you?" she counters. "Prove it."
Daring Jane is never a good idea. She's up for everything and will do the most crazy of things, which Maura already knows.
The brunette steps even closer to her if possible and leans in to whisper in Maura's ear.
"You'll find out soon enough." The sentence, laced with promise, makes Maura slightly weak in her knees. She knows they won't "hook up" these couple of days, because she's simply too tired. She steps backwards, pretending to huff before she pulls her shirt up and over her head, revealing a lacy red bra that Jane can't seem to take her eyes off of. Maura waits for a few seconds before she turns around, walking towards the bed while grabbing a pair of yoga pants from her suitcase. Jane stands frozen, unsure of what to do.
Maura slips out of the pants she's wearing and pulls the softer material of the yoga pants over her hips. She's standing with her back towards Jane and takes off her bra, knowing that Jane is watching every movement. She pulls a tank top (Jane's tank top, mind her) over her head before turning around to face Jane, who is still standing in the same spot.
"Are you coming?" Maura asks, smiling.
It's now 10AM, and although Jane isn't sleepy at all, she decides to join Maura in bed. How can she not when she's finally allowed to hold her?
She only slides out of her pants, not caring about the clothes on the upper half of her body. She quickly slides under the covers, snuggling (yes, snuggling) closer to her girlfriend.
They lie in silence for a while, both too busy thinking about other things they could be doing to start a conversation. Maura feels her eyelids get heavy already, but she doesn't want to fall asleep just yet.
"I love you," Jane says, minutes later. "Can I say that all the time now?"
Her best friend, now girlfriend nods and tired hazel eyes look up at her. "When?" Maura manages to whisper, eyes falling shut when Jane pulls her closer. She nuzzles Jane's neck, taking in the brunette's scent. "The time we were trapped at headquarters," Jane answers. "And you were protecting Frankie like he was your own brother. The terror in your eyes when I got taken away from you two. I knew there was nothing I wouldn't do to keep you safe. So when I ... shot myself," she says, hesitating slightly when she thinks about the events of that day. "I heard you scream my name just before I blacked out. I realized that you were my reason, Maura. You've always been. I knew I loved you then."
Jane feels Maura's tears on the side of her neck, and pulls the smaller woman even closer.
"I love you too."
Jane rather feels the words being mumbled into her neck than she actually hears them. She squeezes her girlfriend tightly before putting one arm on her girlfriend's hip, pulling her even closer. While Maura is asleep within minutes, Jane stays awake for at least half an hour, lost in her thoughts.
They spend four days in the cottage before heading home, both singing along with the radio on their way back.
Jane's worried, Maura can tell by the way her eyebrows are just slightly frowned. She doesn't know about what the brunette is thinking, and decides not to push. She entwines their fingers, loving how the feeling of nervousness when holding Jane's hand has already turned into that of safety.
In the end she doesn't even have to ask the brunette what's wrong, because Jane starts the conversation herself. They are about half an hour away from home and stuck in traffic, because it's 5PM and everyone is heading home.
"When do you think we should tell people?" Jane says, nervousness definitely present in her voice.
"I really don't care, Jane," Maura replies honestly, after a minute. It's true, she doesn't care at all. She only cares about being with Jane and, surprisingly, not about the opinion of others. "Whatever you want and I'll be there."
Jane doesn't reply, causing Maura to look at her.
"Are you afraid of how your mother might react?" Maura asks gently. The brunette nods, clenching her jaw to hold back tears. Now is not the moment to cry.
Maura thinks of all the times Angela has talked to Jane about getting married, having kids and so on. She can't imagine how conflicted Jane must feel, knowing that her mother is still thinking Jane is going to end up with a husband and that she'll have grandchildren, only to have Jane tell her now that that isn't going to happen.
"I'm not ..," Jane coughs, clearing her throat before continuing. "I'm not worried about what Frost or Korsak might say. Frankie already knows," she says, eyeing Maura with a slight smile. "I just think that my mom won't understand. She loves you, Maura, don't get me wrong, it's just ..." Jane trails off, not knowing how to explain.
"I know, honey," Maura says. "If you think that we shouldn't be together-"
Jane interrupts her. "No way. I'm not breaking up with you."
Maura shifts slightly in her seat to be able to place her head on Jane's shoulder. She feels the brunette's bicep flex slightly when taking a turn to the left.
"I'll talk to her if you want me to," she says, not failing to notice how the brunette tenses at that suggestion.
"It's fine, I got it," Jane answers.
They don't talk during the remainder of the trip, but Maura doesn't lift her head from Jane shoulder once, offering silent support.
Maura is upstairs, doing her make-up. Jane asked if she wanted to go to the movies, because she's still too tired to do anything that involves an evening of walking. Shopping, for example, is still too exhausting. It's been four days since their mini holiday, and Jane still hasn't talked to her mother. Maura doesn't want to push her.
She doesn't tremble when she applies her mascara, taking her time. She hears the front door open, followed by Angela's voice ringing through the house. "Janie, I'm going out for the evening. Could you-"
"Nope. I'm going to the movies with Maura," she hears the brunette say, along with the sound of her dishwasher closing.
"Oh, well. Okay. Where's Maura?" the older woman says.
"She's upstairs, getting ready. Ma, I need to talk to you," Jane says, and Maura almost drops her brush. She manages to not let it drop and moves closer to the door, not wanting to eavesdrop, but she can't help it. She needs to know what her girlfriend is going to say.
"Ma, I ... I love Maura. We, umm, we-" Jane doesn't get the chance to go any further, because Angela interrupts her. "Yes, I know she's your best friend, Janie. Why are you saying this?" Angela says, obviously not understanding what her daughter means.
"I mean, I'm in love with Maura. We're in a relationship."
The silence that follows Jane's confession is deafening. This can either end well, or go very wrong, and Jane nor Maura have any idea which scenario it will be.
"But, but, Jane, you can't. You're not gay, are you? My little girl! You'll find a husband, honey. You don't have to worry about me not liking him. Can I meet him? It's obvious you're in love with someone."
Yes, your daughter is in love with me, you idiot. Maura scares herself with that thought, she didn't know she could feel so protective over someone.
"Ma, I'm in love with Maura. I'm not in love with someone else," Jane tries again, sounding more desperate this time. Maura's heart constricts at the sound of Jane's voice and she can't help opening the bathroom door and walking towards the top of the stairs. Before Angela can continue, Maura calls out "Jane, could you come up here for a second? I need your help." She tries to suppress the hives that are already coming up, and succeeds. She hears footsteps come up the stairs and before she knows it, a mane of dark brown curls comes into sight.
Maura thought the sound of Jane's voice was already heartbreaking, but she didn't realize the look in Jane's eyes could be even worse. The brunette tries hard not to cry, but a tear slips out when she sees her girlfriend standing at the top of the stairs.
Maura doesn't say anything. She waits until Jane is close enough to pull her into a hug, holding the brunette tightly.
"It's okay," she whispers. "I'm here."
"I'm not going back downstairs, Maura. I'm not," Jane says, voice trembling.
"Honey. I won't let her do this to you. We're going to talk to her. Please, Jane."
The brunette pulls back, looking into fierce hazel eyes. The conviction in Maura's eyes is obvious, there's no way her girlfriend is going to let her back down. She nods, giving in to Maura's pleading. That small nod is enough for Maura and she puts her hand in the small of Jane's back, gently pushing her towards the stairs.
Jane walks downstairs first, Maura right behind her. "Ma," she starts when they round the corner and enter the living room, only to find that no one's there.
Angela has already left.
The same evening, Jane's phone rings. The sound of it pulls her out of her haze, and she gets up from the couch to pick up. Maura follows her into the kitchen.
"Hey Frankie," Jane says, immediately on edge when she sees the caller ID.
"Ma called me. She said she walked out on you," the voice of her little brother calms her racing heart.
"Yeah," she says, not knowing what else to say. She's not going to say it's fine. Not this time.
"She said she'd come over to my house. She did, and she asked if I knew about you and Maura. I couldn't lie to her, Jane," Frankie says, falling silent for a minute before he continues. "She said that I should talk to you and say what she actually meant to say."
Jane wants to ask what that is, but she's not sure she wants to know.
"I told her to go back and talk to you, instead of letting me clean up her mess. I'm fully supporting you, Jane, and I want her to go back and apologize. So if she calls you or knocks on the door, please open up. She has some explaining to do."
This answer is not at all the one Jane expected to get, and she needs a moment to collect herself. Frankie understands and waits patiently.
"Thanks, Frankie. I'll answer her," the brunette replies before hanging up.
Maura looks at her expectantly, wanting to know what's going on.
"Alright?" she asks, meaning are you okay, are you hurting, what did he tell you?
Jane nods, leaning in for a hug. She can't help but laugh silently when Maura wraps her arms around her, thinking about something.
The smaller woman pulls back, look into dark brown eyes. "What?" she says, eyes sparking because Jane's do too.
"I was just thinking how I used to hate being hugged, but with you it's all I want to do," the brunette says, a soft smile still playing on her lips.
Before Maura knows it, she's being pulled in for a kiss. The world disappears for a moment and Jane is all around her.
When the brunette pulls back, her eyes are still sparkling, although they look a little more peaceful as well. She looks like she wants to say something but not quite managing, and Maura doesn't wait before she replies this time.
"I love you too, Jane. And I will always be here for you and here with you, no matter what happens."
My midterms are next week, so excuse me if my next update will take a while (again). Thanks for staying with me and writing such wonderful reviews. I couldn't be happier with the amount of support you've all given me.
Oh, please point out to me if you find an error in this chapter. Thanks to alfret2010 for pointing one out in the last chapter!
