AN: So I've been getting a lot of feedback on this story, and I'd just like to say: I love you guys. Seriously. Also, I am now Typo Buddies with PendulumDeath, because we're both awesome. Anyway, I'm really glad that so many people like this story, and I'm also glad that people seems to be enjoying A Fate Worse Than Death, though I can't say when the next chapter of that will be out. I'm becoming popular, and that makes me happy~ that, and I'm listening to the Attack on Titan theme song right now. Also, just in case anyone reading this story was a fan of one of my old stories, I'm currently rewriting The Silence and the Fury. It will be titled Sister Wicked, and – fair warning – it's going to be pretty different from the first version. The next chapter of Acnologia is Not Your Father is being worked on, but it's one of those stories that will literally go on until either my life ends or my Funny Fountain runs dry. I've hit a bit of a roadblock with My Lawyer, but it's not going to be discontinued. There WILL be at least twenty chapters, dammit! Also, once I've started, edited, finished, and posted Wishes for William (which WILL take a while), I'll probably hold another contest and take another request. Lastly, I'm also working on a story called I Absolutely Refuse to Acknowledge That This is My Fault, which is a Durarara/Harry Potter crossover. Why am I working on so many stories at once, you ask? I guess Novoux is rubbing off on me.

Kasuka stared at the two girls across from him, both of whom were blushing, though only one was looking straight at him. His smile was starting to hurt his cheeks, and he absently wondered how much longer he'd be holding this particular expression. The twin with braids kept glancing between her idol and her knees, while the quieter girl seemed to be having a stare-off with Ruri.

"I-it's very nice to meet Yūhei-san!" the braided twin – Mairu – exclaimed suddenly, bowing deeply.

"…Nice (it's a pleasure)…" added Kururi, not breaking eye contact with Ruri.

"Yes, it's nice to meet the two of you as well," said Kasuka, wondering what exactly the two were expecting him to do. "I'm sorry that our meeting couldn't have occurred under better circumstances." Mairu's blush deepened.

"No problem at all!" she declared. "I'll protect you, Yūhei-san!"

"Ruri-san (Yūhei-san is dating Ruri-san)… nice (she's not too bad, I suppose)…" Kururi murmured, finally looking away from Ruri, who absently wondered if she had just taken a test.

"Really?" Mairu looked slightly disappointed. "Oh well. Yūhei-san, Ruri-san is really important to you, yeah?" Kasuka nodded.

"Yes." he said. "Ruri-san is my special person." Ruri blushed. Mairu crossed her arms decisively.

"Alright then!" she chirped. "I'll protect both of you, and I'll beat the shit out of anyone who tries to break you two up!"

"I'm very grateful," Kasuka told her. "But I don't want you two to get hurt either, so make sure to protect yourselves as well, alright? I doubt your brother would be pleased if he got back and found out that one or both of you got hurt."

"If he gets back," said Mairu nonchalantly. "He might be dead already."

"You shouldn't say things like that," Ruri spoke up. "Family is very important." Kasuka nodded. Mairu shrugged.

"Oh, Iza-nii's important to us, but it's not like it'd be shocking if he died," she explained. "If he did, we'd probably feel sad for a bit, but then we'd laugh at him for being dumb enough to get killed by Shizuo-san." Kasuka's expression didn't change, but the three girls got the impression that he was frowning.

"I don't think nii-san would kill someone," he said. "Definitely not on purpose, anyhow."

"True," Mairu nodded agreeably. "Except that Iza-nii isn't a person. Not to Shizuo-san, anyway. Besides, who else would kill him?" It was probably meant as a joke, but nobody felt like laughing.

-THIS IS A LINE BREAK-

The old couple walked (rolled, in the old man's case) into Russia Sushi, chatting amicably. As soon as Dennis spotted them, he ushered them to the back room and put up a closed sign. As soon as Simon waved off the last of the customers, the two Russians practically teleported into the back room, any trace of humor gone.

"What are you doing here?" Dennis demanded, skipping straight into Russian.

"My grandson seems to have wandered off," Orihara Natsu said, never losing her kind 'little old lady' smile. "We were wondering if you might know where he went." Torakichi nodded.

"A bit upset, loss of grandson," he said. Unlike his wife and grandson, Orihara Torakichi was not talented in the art of speaking Russian, though he could understand it without any problems.

"Natalia," Simon spoke up. "I'm afraid I don't understand why you thought it would be a good idea to come to us." the old woman shrugged.

"Just a hunch," she replied. "By the way, Samiya, I go by 'Natsu' nowadays."

"And I by Simon," the African-American-Russian said coolly.

"Terms of address, irrelevant." Said the old man. "Location of grandson, top priority." Dennis shrugged.

"No clue," he responded. "Look, if we find anything, we'll let you know." Natsu nodded, determination glinting in her dark eyes.

"We'll hold you to that."

-THIS IS A LINE BREAK-

The little boy lay curled up on a trash bag, shivering. He was naked, save for the much-too-big jacket he was using as a blanket, and he was also lost. More importantly, however, he was terrified.

After waking up from his impromptu nap, the boy had scrounged around to see if he could find a clue as to where he was. All he found, however, was a dirty newspaper. It wasn't the newspaper itself that concerned the boy, but rather the date printed on the newspaper. December 12th, 2004. This could not be right. After all, the boy was only eight, not twenty-five! He didn't know how long he'd been unconscious, but he doubted that he had survived unconscious and without food, water, or aid for seventeen years. He had no idea what to do, where to go, what had happened, or even–

"You are lost, yes?" a cheerful voice called. The boy shot up, clutching the jacket to his small body. A woman with short blonde hair and kind blue eyes was smiling at him. Her Japanese was poor, but the boy felt relief wash over him as he recognized the accent.

"Yes. I'm lost." He replied, a little scared. The woman looked kind, but people weren't always honest. In fact, people were very rarely honest. The woman looked delighted.

"Oh, you speak Russian?" she chirped. "That's wonderful! I'm sorry if my Japanese isn't the best, but I didn't expect someone as young as you to be bilingual."

"Multilingual," the boy corrected her. "My grandmother made sure I knew English as well as Russian and Japanese." The woman clapped, impressed.

"Very good!" she exclaimed. "My name is Siri. And who might you be, little one?" the boy looked hesitant, so the woman waved off the question. "Never mind that, I'm sure you've been told not to talk to strangers." The boy nodded.

"You seem nice, but I don't know for sure," he explained.

"What would you like to be called?" Siri asked. The boy chewed on his lip, thinking it over. "How about… I know! Does 'Hiro' sound good?" the newly dubbed Hiro nodded.

"Yeah, that works." He watched the woman carefully.

"Now then," Siri clapped her hands together and knelt down to meet the boy's eyes. "Being naked can't be comfortable. Would you like me to find you some clothes?"

"I…" Hiro hesitated, unsure. He wasn't entirely comfortable with accepting charity, but he also wasn't an idiot. "Yes, please. Thank you." Siri beamed.

"Wonderful!" she chirped. "You look half-starved as well. I'll grab you some clothes first, and then I'll get you something to eat, all right?" Hiro thought about it.

"Alright," he agreed. He didn't fully trust this woman, but he was lost and alone and hungry and cold, and an ally would be very useful right now. Siri rushed off, and, in just a few minutes, popped back.

"I live nearby," she explained. Hiro nodded, accepting the clothes that were offered to him. "A boy in my apartment complex is about your size, so I asked his mother if I could borrow some of his clothes. I'll wait outside for you to finish getting dressed, all right?" He nodded again, looking at the clothes. They weren't top-notch or anything, but they were better than expected – certainly better than anything he owned, though that was mostly because he didn't think it made sense to spend too much money on clothes.

"I'm done," Hiro said, walking out of the alley. Siri smiled, and offered him her hand. After a moment's hesitation, he took it.

"There's a place nearby called 'Russia Sushi'," Siri told him. "We can talk while we eat, if you like. Or not – it's up to you." Hiro's lips turned up slightly.

"Thank you."

-THIS IS A LINE BREAK-

"Excuse me," Vorona turned around, surprised that someone had managed to sneak up on her. Have I gotten sloppy?

"Yes?" the woman sighed, and Vorona took a moment to analyze her. She wasn't a very big person – only about a couple inches taller than Vorona– but she held herself in a manner that only another warrior could recognize. Vorona felt a tiny smile curve onto her face at the prospect of a fight.

"I'm looking for Heiwajima Shizuo," the woman said bluntly. "You work with him, right?" Vorona nodded.

"Affirmative. Current location is unknown. Apologies." The woman looked at her for a second, and then sighed.

"You got left behind, huh?" she murmured. Vorona's smile disappeared.

"Negative. Presence was not required. Therefore, no request for my person."

"I see." The woman looked at the sky, and then at the ground. "That's the problem with guys, you know?" she said suddenly. "Always forgetting about the people that care about them. I'm Sharaku Mikage, by the way."

"Vorona." The two women looked at each other. To an average bystander, it simply seemed like a conversation between two women. To a warrior, however, there was tension in the air. Suddenly, Mikage laughed.

"Wanna go get something to drink?" she offered. Vorona thought about it.

"I affirm." She decided. "Drinks, acceptable." And with that, the two warrior women wandered off, with a promising night of half-drunken sparring ahead.

-THIS IS A LINE BREAK-

Watching her boyfriend laughing with his friends, Saki wondered if she should be feeling jealous. After all, only a couple months ago, when she was still in the hospital, Masaomi had been telling her all about his little love triangle with Mikado and Anri. If Saki were anyone else, she'd probably despise the bespectacled girl. Anri was prettier than her, smarter than her, nicer than her, had bigger breasts, had the whole megane thing going for her, and had a very nice smile.

It wasn't that Saki thought poorly of herself – she knew her flaws, but she also knew her strengths. She was sneakier than Anri, much more honest, infinitely more clever (there was a difference between being smart and being clever), could be very persuasive without having to use her body, was more resourceful, and was capable of defending herself without supernatural powers. Granted, she wasn't too strong in the area of self-defense, but she could fend for herself.

However, Saki felt no resentment towards Anri. In fact, she and the other girl had quite a bit in common. Anri had depended on Harima Mika, while Saki had depended on Orihara Izaya. Anri's father had abused her, and Saki's parents weren't top notch either. Anri had found a caretaker in Akabayashi Mizuki of the Awakusu group, while Saki's guardian was Izaya. Most importantly, however, both of them cared for Masaomi, albeit in different ways.

Saki laughed as she watched Masaomi teasing his well-endowed friend, who looked half-uncertain, half-amused. She blinked as she felt a tap on her shoulder, and she turned her head to meet Mikado's cautious blue eyes.

"Is this alright with you?" he asked uncertainly. "Masaomi flirting with Sonohara-san, I mean." Saki giggled.

"I don't mind," she said. "I'm the one Masaomi loves, after all. Even so, I wouldn't want him to get rid of a piece of his personality – I love him for who he is, enormous flirt or not. If he wants to date other girls, that's completely fine, because he'll always come back to me." Mikado frowned.

"That doesn't sound very healthy," he pointed out. Saki shrugged.

"He wouldn't do that," she assured him. "Flirting and dating are two different things. Besides, one could argue that love in general isn't healthy. It causes people to do irrational things. You know that very well yourself, right?" Mikado nodded.

"I'm guessing you know all about it," he said simply. "The Dollars, that is. I assume Izaya-san told you." Saki laughed again, shaking her head.

"Not at all," she smiled warmly at him. "I did my own research. Izaya-san is only human – he can't be everywhere at once. I wouldn't be very good at my job if I couldn't figure out that much, you know."

"I guess so," Mikado watched her carefully. "I'm sorry for acting so paranoid."

"Don't worry about it," Saki's smile hadn't faded, leaving Mikado to wonder if perhaps she had some sort of magical power that kept her cheek muscles from feeling pain. "After all, I'm affiliated with Izaya-san. You aren't under any obligations to like me, and it's perfectly reasonable to be paranoid of someone so creepy."

"I don't think you're creepy," Mikado told her, looking surprised. She studied his face for a moment, and then nodded.

"No, I suppose you wouldn't," she agreed. "You're far more creepy than I am."

"Mikajima-san is a very blunt person," Mikado murmured. She shrugged.

"I am who I am, and that's all I can ever hope to be." she said. "Besides, I think I should be asking you that."

"Asking me what?" Mikado stepped back as Saki's grin turned mischievous.

"Aren't you jealous that Masaomi is the one flirting with Sonohara-san?" she teased. Mikado flushed even redder than Anri, and Masaomi slung his arm around his girlfriend's shoulder.

"That's right, Mikado!" He declared. "Haven't you made a move yet?"

"I keep telling you, it's not like that!"

-THIS IS A LINE BREAK-

Heiwajima Shizuo was out for blood. His brother had been injured, his potential future sister-in-law had been reduced to tears, Izaya had been kidnapped, Yagiri-san had a hole in her stomach that would likely never fully heal, and the damn flea's scent was all but gone. In short, he was more than a little annoyed.

Contributing to that annoyance was the fact that, as soon as he turned the corner, one of those shadowy things that had probably kidnapped Izaya darted out from behind a trash can and stabbed him. Shizuo yanked out the blade, tossed it to the side, and punched the shadow creature so hard into a wall that it exploded on contact, with little bits of shadow goop landing everywhere. It then promptly pulled itself back together and ran off. Shizuo chased after it, mostly because he was hoping this creature might know where to find Izaya, but also because it had stabbed him and made him use violence.

Shizuo chased the god-only-fucking-knows-what-that-thing-is across half of Shinjuku before it slithered under a dumpster and disappeared. In anger, he smashed the dumpster in half, not surprised to see nothing but sidewalk where logic dictated that the creature should be. Shizuo scowled. These things reminded him of Izaya – no matter how hard he hit them, they just didn't stay the fuck down.

-THIS IS A LINE BREAK-

Shinra sighed. Namie had, with but a little "assistance" (read: drugs), fallen asleep, and now he and Celty could have some alone time. Or so he thought, but Shiki had other ideas – with Izaya gone AWOL, Celty was needed more than ever, and most of her jobs had been coming from the Awakusu-kai. This particular job involved chasing down Hijiribe Ruri's stalker, who had apparently been spotted heading towards Toshima. Since Ruri herself was in Ikebukuro, Shiki had assumed that the stalker had his sights set there, and had thus sent Celty to patrol the city, leaving Shinra all by himself (with Namie sleeping in one of the guest bedrooms).

Tilting his head back, Shinra stared at the ceiling and decided that either this stalker guy was threatening some part of the Awakusu-kai's business, or they were hunting him to spite Yodogiri Jinnai, who had apparently been affiliated with him and had gotten on the Awakusu-kai's bad side sometime back. Most importantly, however, it felt like his beloved Celty had been gone for hours.

Hearing soft footsteps coming down the hall, Shinra's heart leapt.

"Celty!" he cried, racing for the door. He would hold open for her, so she could see that he was a proper gentleman. "My love! You've returned to me!" He flung open the door, beaming. It wasn't Celty, and Shinra's euphoric mood disappeared instantly. "Can I help you?" he asked.

The man just grinned.

AN: And that's all for now. Sorry for the cliffhanger. Haha, that was a lie. I'm not sorry at all. So, for those who have read the novels (or just read whatever wiki/TV tropes article you could), try not to spoil who this guy is, though I'm sure you've all guessed already. On another note, who was expecting Siri to show up? In almost every story where Izaya needs help, it's always Shizuo or, more rarely, Celty saving him. But I had an opening where he could be helped by someone that no one would expect, so I took it. As for Natsu, the name Simon calls her ("Natalia") was not intentionally inspired by the Black Widow, but it might have been a subconscious inspiration or something. Either way, that's the only Russian female name that starts with "N" that I could think of off the top of my head. So that's her name. Because fuck it. Anyhow, I feel like I should warn everyone – I have decided that, if I chose to involve sex in this story, the first lemon will be between Kida and Saki. It won't happen for a while though. However, since I know that there are Saki haters out there, I think I should just let y'all know that she's a major character next chapter.

I have seen Simon's real name, Семён (I think), written as "Samiya", "Semyon", and "Seymon". I'm not Russian, I don't speak Russian, and I don't know which of the three is correct. I will look into it, and, should I find irrefutable proof that my way of spelling is incorrect, I will go back and fix it. I love you all.