A/N. First off, thanks for the comments. I know I keep saying it over and over, but you guys make me smile everytime I read a review. I'm so thankful that you guys like this story. I'm working hard to get the next 4 chapters out within the next week. Let's see how that plan works out. As for now, hopefully you guys like this next chapter!
Chapter Nine
Spencer backed up slowly, her mouth open but no sound escaped it. Shock and hurt filled her face and Ashley wanted to envelop Spencer into a hug, but she didn't. Both girls stared at each other in silence.
"Spencer are you…" Ashley began, moving towards the stunned blonde.
Spencer threw her arms up, stopping Ashley in her tracks. A son? This was too much for Spencer to handle. A girlfriend, she could have handled, but a son? "A son?" Spencer asked, squinting her eyes at Ashley. "You have a son?"
Ashley nodded, "Yes, I do. I have a son, Spencer. I didn't…I didn't mean for you to find out like this. I…I wasn't sure how you would react." She bit her lower lip and Spencer could tell that Ashley was fighting back tears. "Look Spencer, I love my son. Ray means everything to me. I want…I wish…I wish you could see how much I've changed."
Spencer's expression softened. She moved closer and took Ashley's hand in hers. Confused brown eyes stared back at her as Spencer traced her thumb along Ashley's palm. "I can see that's you've changed, Ashley. I know that you are sorry for how things ended for us, but I need you to understand something too." Ashley nodded her head as Spencer continued. "I can't forget what happened, and although I'm trying to get past it, I can't forgive you yet. I know that you are trying to prove to me that you are trustworthy, but it's hard for me to forget the pain that I felt." Ashley lowered her eyes to the ground, avoiding Spencer's stare. Spencer felt bad for Ashley, but she still couldn't forget that her heart was broken.
"I'll show you, Spencer. I love you. And I'll prove to you that you can trust me again. I'm responsible now. I'm not that same girl who hurt you. I promise, I'm not her anymore."
Spencer nodded, accepting Ashley's declaration. "So," she started, moving on, "A son, huh?" Ashley nodded and Spencer saw how Ashley's eyes lit up when she thought of her son. "Ray. I like it. Is he named after his father?" Spencer questioned.
Ashley caught on to where Spencer was going with this. "No, he's not. His father was…his father was someone who didn't stick around, and we didn't need him." She looked away from Spencer's gaze as she continued, "He was out of my life before I even found out I was pregnant."
"Did you love him?" Spencer asked, her heart pounding.
Ashley smiled, "The only thing that matters is that he gave me a son. He gave me Ray and for that I am thankful. That little boy," she laughed and shook her head, "I can definitely see why my mom never spent time with me when I was younger. He is such a little troublemaker. Good thing I know how to handle troublemakers." She smiled and lost herself in her memories.
"How old is he?" Spencer asked, surprised to see Ashley so excited and content with being a mom.
"He's four," Ashley said without thinking. The moment the words left her lips she regretted it. She could tell by the look on Spencer's face that the blonde had done the math.
"Four year old? He's four?" Spencer's lower lip trembled, "We broke up 5 years ago. How long after we broke up did it take you to jump into bed with someone else?" She didn't wait for a response, scoffing "Although that's the be expected. You always did enjoy meaningless sex."
Ashley's face fell into a silent shock. She couldn't believe that those words just came from Spencer's mouth. "It wasn't like that Spencer. It wasn't meaningless sex, it…"
"Oh, you what Ash? Loved him? I knew this was a mistake. It's my fault though. I should have known better then to let you back into my life." Spencer turned and walked away before Ashley could defend herself. Tears fell from Spencer's eyes as she left the apartment building.
Ashley watched Spencer walk away from her. She didn't understand how things had gone so wrong. One moment they were laughing, trust was being built again, and the next… She leaned against the wall and slid down, pulling her knees to her chest. She rested her chin on her knees, sighing deeply. Staring at the wall, Spencer's words rang though her head. I should have known better than you let you back into my life. She turned her head to the side when Izzy peeked her head out of the apartment. "Everything ok, Ash?" she asked gently.
Ashley closed her eyes and said softly, "No, it's really not." Ashley pulled out her phone and dialed a number for someone who could help her.
Her best friend answered groggily, "Hello?"
"Aiden?" Ashley said, her voice breaking slightly, alerting Aiden to the fact that she was upset.
"Ashley? Are you ok?" he asked warily. He was used to late night freak-out phone calls from Ashley, but she had been fine these last few years. He'd just assumed that Ashley was finally doing better.
"No, Aiden, she nows about Ray. She thinks…she knows how old he is and she did the math. God, Aide, she thinks I had sex right after we broke up. She thinks I went out and had more meaningless sex. She thinks I stopped caring about her…" he voice cracked with emotion.
"Does she know the whole story, Ashley? Maybe if you just tell her the truth…"
"I can't. I can't tell her Aiden," Ashley yelled, startling Izzy who was listening in on the conversation.
"But Ash, Ray is a good kid, and you are a great mom. If Spencer knew the truth about who his father is…" Aiden began.
"No, Spencer can never know the truth. I don't want her to know, Aiden. Promise me that you will never tell her."
"Ashley, I don't…"
"Promise me, Aiden."
"Ok," he grumbled, "I promise I'll never tell Spencer what happened."
"Thank you," Ashley started, "I don't think I could ever face Spencer again is she knew the truth."
