~What Am I Feeling?~

~Chapter 9- An Unexpected Fall~

Scorpius lay on his bed, staring at the patterns of midnight blue and shining silver entwined in swirly patterns on the ceiling. An open book was spread over his stomach which he had put down after attempting to study, and his thoughts drifting off. There was no point trying to study, when he was still so distracted.

He was not distracted because he knew now that he did like boys, in fact he felt slightly comfortable because he could move on from his confusion in that department and start to live his life out, even if it would be hard further in the future when he started to tell people. But he would worry about that when it came up.

For now, what was worrying his mind was Albus. And Danielle. He knew he should be happy for Al. Albus had found someone who quite obviously made him happy, so Scorpius should really be happy too. But he wasn't. In fact, he was quite the opposite.

The hurt in his chest wouldn't stop. The tears in his eyes were threatening to pour over, tears which he didn't even know why they were there. He wiped them away before they could even fall, as if to deny they were there.

He kept picturing the couple in each other's embrace, sharing something as intimate kisses. It plagued Scorpius' mind completely. He sniffed rolling over onto his side as he thought of Albus. Albus meant so much to him, he knew that of course. He didn't know whether he just wanted Albus all to himself and was scared Danielle was going to take his best friend away from him. At least Scorpius hoped that was what this all was.

But deep down, he knew it wasn't. Just like deep down, he had known he was gay, deep down he knew there was more to these feelings. He knew he wasn't just jealous, he knew there was a reason he was actually in pain while seeing Albus in a romantic relationship and never felt this way when Albus made other friends.

Did he have a crush on Albus? But… he couldn't have just a crush… Albus and him were too close for him to have just a crush. He knew he loved Albus… but was it in a different way?

"No!" Scorpius buried his face in his pillow and groaned loudly to himself, trying to dismiss these thoughts. He scrunched his eyes together and squeezed the pillow closer to him.

"No what?"

Scorpius' head shot up, as he worried about his sore eyes but looked Albus straight in the eye as he walked in the room. Albus would know if he started hiding his face that something was wrong. And he would be determined to find out exactly what was wrong with his friend, if Scorpius hid.

So Scorpius confidently stared at Albus in the face and immediately noticed how happy Albus looked, a big grin painted across his face. Seeing his friend so joyful would normally make him feel the same, but… normally it was he who was the one making Albus happy.

"Oh… I'm just finding it hard to study." Scorpius turned his head to the side, not completely lying yet not completely telling the truth either.

"And you were crying cause of that?" Albus tilted his head to the side, a sympathetic look on his face. He crept towards his friend, Scorpius still looking away and sat next to the smaller boy. He slid an arm around Scorpius' waist, not noticing the other boy's fidgeting when he touched him. He urged Scorpius' head down onto his shoulder, Scorpius closing his eyes, feeling so heavenly in Albus' arms. He always loved Albus' embraces, but only now did he realise quite how much, "You're silly, you know that Scor?"

Scorpius nodded into Albus' shoulder, "I know…"

"I asked Danielle out," Albus said, resting his nose on Scorpius' head, savouring having his friend in his arms. He knew that if everything fell down around him, he would still have Scorpius. And he was safe in that knowledge of always having his best friend around him, "We're gonna go on a date the next Hogsmeade weekend."

"I know… I s-"

"She's amazing, Scor. I mean… brilliant," Albus said blissfully, leaning his head back, "I really like her. We even… kissed and everything."

"Al, I know, I-"

"Though, kissing isn't all it lived up to be really," Albus shrugged, twisting his lips, "I thought it would be better but it wasn't really that special."

Tears stung Scorpius' eyes again as Albus ignored him and continued speaking about Danielle. He gritted his teeth, hoping the tears would stop but knew they wouldn't. Instead, Scorpius abruptly stood up, lashing out of Albus' arms.

Albus frowned immediately at the blonde's strange behaviour. He reached out to Scorpius, but he just stepped away.

Scorpius' voice went shaky and he nervously ran his fingers through his hair, tugging on his locks. His eye line dropping to the floor, Scorpius erratically said, "I-I think I left something in the library. I'm just gonna go get it."

Scorpius did hear the Potter's confused yells when he rushed out the room, grabbing a jacket on the way out. He chose to ignore them. He ran down the stairs while tugging his coat on over his shirt.

When he left the Ravenclaw common room and started to descend the stairs of the tower, the tears flowed freely down his cheeks, soft blubbers erupting through his throat.

He didn't understand why this was happening to him! His life had been wonderful for years with Albus. He had everything he could have wished for, the perfect best friend, the amazing school, fairly loving parents and a bright future. But it was the thing that made him happiest the most, that best friend, that beautiful person… who was making his heart hurt, muddling his brain up completely.

Albus was a wonderful person. He was interesting, always having a story to tell to Scorpius. He was kind, always there for anyone who needed help. He was… handsome, with lovely green eyes and his gorgeous dark hair. His charming, brilliant smile was enough to capture anyone's heart. Of course Danielle would like him, you would be mad not to like him. He was just absolutely perfect.

Yet the fact he was so perfect was what was making this so hard for Scorpius. Scorpius knew Albus was perfect and he knew Albus cared for him so much… he knew that Albus loved him, but Albus loved him as a friend. He was straight after all! He liked girls!

I can't like Albus! Scorpius scolded himself, Anyone but him!

Maybe he was over thinking this again. Maybe it was just because he was so close to Albus he was feeling this way. Yes, of course that was it. Albus was the closest person to him, had been since their first year and most likely always would be, that was the only reason he was feeling this way. Or so Scorpius would convince himself for a short period of time.

Scorpius strolled around the grounds outside Hogwarts, pulling his coat tighter around his skinny body. His pink cheeks were still wet with tears, but he didn't bother wiping them this time.

The sky was getting darker, Scorpius noticing the full moon which shone over Hogwarts castle and could almost hear the werewolves howling, even if it was inside his own head.

Scorpius pulled his necklace out, holding the small stone in his hands. At the moment, it was a deep blue, meaning there were no emotions around him to capture. He sighed, thinking of the occurrences of the day as he fiddled with the rock.

He almost didn't notice when the stone turned a dark green and he saw instantaneously whose emotion this was.

Scorpius considered running, getting away as soon as possible but his logic knew there was no point of wasting his energy. He would catch him. He always did.

James approached him fast, with a determined look on his face, yet also very harsh, extremely harsh.

"Heard about Albus, Malfoy?" James crossed his arms as he stood about a meter away from the younger boy.

"Yes… what's it to you?" Scorpius muttered, furrowing his eyebrows and hiding himself further under the coat.

"Don't talk to me like that," James snapped, taking a step closer to Scorpius, "I bet you're disappointed. Now you can't have Albus all to yourself."

"I-I don't want Albus all to myself…"

"You don't deceive me with that pretty little face of yours," James spat, suddenly he reached forward, grabbing Scorpius' chin. Scorpius instantly struggled, releasing the stone from his grasp and his hands darting out instead to push James away, but James was stronger. James had always been stronger, "You try to keep him all to yourself. Not letting anyone else have him. But now he has a girlfriend and he'll definitely be sharing himself with another person. And you'll just be left alone!"

Scorpius again tried to shove James away as James squeezed his chin, "Shut up!"

"You know I'm right!"

"You have no idea what you're talking about!" Scorpius screeched, flailing his hand when James grabbed the collar of his shirt with the other hand, "You just make these things up, but really you just don't like me!"

"Yes, I don't like you! But what I said is true! You're always following him around, trying to stop other people from getting to him! Well you've failed, Malfoy. There's nothing you can do about it anymore!"

Unexpectedly James, pushed Scorpius back with a hard yank. Scorpius toppled over a log which he was standing in front of, his right foot catching behind, feeling a click in his ankle as it happened. He landed with a thud on his back, his legs hanging over the log.

Scorpius instantly felt a painful twinge in his ankle which was caught and he winced as he lay in the floor. The pain shot through his leg and he crushed his eyes shut, wishing the pain away.

James smirked, standing over the small boy, "Leave Albus alone." He sneered before strutting away.

Scorpius was in too much pain to watch James walk away or curse back. He rolled over to the side and pulled his right leg to his chest, carefully touching his ankle through his shoe to examine the damage.

The Ravenclaw steadily tried to stand up but the pain in his foot only increased when he put weight on it. He failed miserably and fell back down to grass, bringing his legs up to his chest again.

Scorpius gasped as he tried to move his ankle, but it felt numb and he knew then it was broken. Finally, Scorpius cursed James under his breath and reached into his pocket to get his wand. Which he had left in his room.

He felt a wave of despair, knowing that he couldn't even fix it himself. It was getting darker, he was alone with no one to help him, not even his own magic could help him right now. Scorpius looked up to the castle, whipping his head side to side, just in case anyone was around.

Becoming more panicked, tears streamed down Scorpius' face and he started to yell for help, but no one came.

His eyes were half-lidded with hurt as he spread his legs over the floor to slightly more comfortable and stop his ankle from aching so much. He used the sleeve of his coat to dab some of the droplets from his face, but they kept falling.

Where's Albus? Why hadn't Albus come to find him? He thought with a sniff and another wave of tears erupted through his throat. He sobbed to himself, not only because of the pain, but because of James and because of Albus…

He sat there for what felt like hours, his head throbbing more and more as he cried continuously. He knew what was causing the head ache and pulled the Baralime stone over his head and instead cradled it in his hand. With the other, he pulled on his hair and wiped over his forehead unevenly.

More time went by and Scorpius' cries shushed slightly as he felt another's emotions in the surrounding area. The feelings were simply relaxed yet alert, Scorpius guessing it was a prefect making sure everyone had gone to bed.

"Help!" Scorpius screamed in the direction of the emotions, blinking and trying to see through the dark, "Please! Help me!"

Scorpius heard footsteps crashing towards him and he smiled in relief, some sobs still overwhelming him though.

A taller boy; a sixth year Hufflepuff Scorpius recognised, drew near him, a worried expression splayed over his face. Scorpius recognised him because he had happened to notice how gorgeous this prefect was… with a strong jaw, wide brown eyes and luscious golden hair, Scorpius had always blushed under the gaze of this older boy, who always seemed to smile at Scorpius when they crossed paths in the corridor.

"Are you okay?" The boy bent down next to Scorpius with fretful eyes.

"No… I think it's broken." Scorpius said with his face contorted in pain.

"Oh Merlin… this is not your day." The boy said with a low chuckle, trying to make Scorpius feel a bit brighter.

Scorpius couldn't help but release another wave of blubbers as he exclaimed, "No! It's been awful! This just had to happen after I realised I was gay and Al-"

Scorpius pressed his lips together as fast as he could. He couldn't believe he had blurted that out to a total stranger! He wasn't planning on telling anyone soon, but to some random guy he hadn't even properly met yet? That taught Scorpius for getting so panicked so easily.

The other boy's eyes widened in surprise, but he didn't seem as affected as Scorpius would have thought about the sudden confession. That eased Scorpius slightly.

"Come on, I'll get you to Madam Pomfrey," The boy scooped Scorpius up into his arms, being careful of the broken foot. Scorpius yelped in surprise, but his arms automatically clung onto the tall boy's neck for security, clasping his necklace in his hand still, "I'm not great at healing charms myself so I don't want to risk it. Madam Pomfrey would definitely do a better job than me."

"Thank you…" Scorpius realised he didn't even know the name of this boy as he started walking to the castle, carrying Scorpius with ease.

"Christopher, Christopher Daley," A flirty smile and a sudden attraction toward Scorpius spilled through the air, "But you can call me Chris."

Scorpius remembered earlier today when he was talking with Louis. Louis had mentioned Christopher, or Chris… he was gay. He was gay like Scorpius… and quite obviously attracted to him, Scorpius sensed. He blushed under the Chris' intense stare, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind his ear with his free hand, "Thank you Chris… I'm Sc-"

"Scorpius Malfoy, I know," Chris nodded with a quirk of the lips, "I've seen you around."

"Uh-uh, you have?" Scorpius nibbled on his lip in embarrassment.

Chris hummed in reply, his eyes still running up and down Scorpius' face. They reached the entrance of the castle and Scorpius breathed and felt even more relaxed, "How did you fall?" Chris suddenly asked.

Scorpius' lips quivered as his mind put together a quick excuse, "I-I was looking at the full moon and was walking backwards… I tripped over a log behind me… I'm a b-bit clumsy really."

Chris chuckled, shaking his head, "Very clumsy by the sounds of it. But it's also very cute."

Scorpius felt his whole body flush as Chris complimented him. He knew his face was probably bright red right now. See… it wasn't Albus who he was attracted to… no, not Albus.

Scorpius strained his arms so he could quickly throw his necklace over his neck. Being in the current position, of course Chris noticed.

"What's that?" Chris questioned with curiousness.

"O-oh… it's just a necklace… it used to be my mother's…" Scorpius lied, letting his blond locks fall in front of his eyes.

"That's sweet, and it's lovely."

They continued to make small talk on the way to the Hospital Wing, Chris asking whether he was feeling okay every once in a while and inquiring about Scorpius' studies, as well as plans for Hogsmeade weekend and unnecessary things like that.

By the time they reached the Hospital Wing, Scorpius felt unexpectedly comfortable in Chris' arms and would have been happy to stay there, if it weren't so inappropriate to ask.

Chris spoke to Madam Pomfrey briefly and what they suspected was wrong and what had happened.

"Oh dear, Mr Malfoy," Madam Pomfrey said in fuss, "I hope you're not exaggerating like your father used to do! Pop him down on the bed!"

Chris place the Malfoy on the bed, Scorpius flinching as his ankle was moved from it's comfortable position. Scorpius almost expected Chris to leave, but no, he sat down on a seat next to the bed, his hand rested a few inches from Scorpius'.

The rest of the Hospital Wing was empty so Madam Pomfrey tended to Scorpius straight away. She had raised her eyebrows when she realised Scorpius' ankle was indeed broken and he was telling the truth. Scorpius almost felt the need to say a quick I told you so.

"Yes, broken. This may hurt a bit Mr Malfoy. But the quicker it's done, the better." She said with a friendly tone, pulling out her wand and removing Scorpius' shoes with a charm.

Scorpius reached out to grab something and that something happened to be Chris' hand. Scorpius didn't think properly when he grasped Chris' hand tightly for dear life as Madam Pomfrey did a quick incantation.

A click sounded in the air and sharp pain contracted in Scorpius' foot. He cried out quietly, gripping Chris' hand firmer. Chris simply squeezed back supportively. Relief washed over Scorpius when he felt the ability to move his foot return and although it still hurt, he twisted his ankle round to test it.

"I think you might as well stay the night, Mr Malfoy. It is very late already and that's still going to twinge a bit. I'll just fetch you some pyjamas," She turned to Chris, "Thank you Mr Daley for your assistance. You may leave now."

"Thank you, Madam Pomfrey." Whispered Scorpius.

Madam Pomfrey hurried out of the room, leaving the two boys alone.

"Are you going to be okay now?" Chris said with a warm smile, still holding Scorpius' hand and caressing Scorpius' skin with a thumb.

"Yes, thank you Chris… for everything." Scorpius smiled back hesitantly.

Chris released Scorpius' hand suddenly and stood up, "I'll go now. But I'll find you tomorrow, check you're doing alright."

"Thanks…" Chris started to walk away as Scorpius' voice trailed off but Scorpius managed to get his attention again, "Chris!" Chris turned his head over his shoulder, "Y-you won't tell anyone… about me being… you know-"

"Of course not," Chris said firmly, nodding at Scorpius, "Your secret is safe with me."

Scorpius watched as Chris strode out the room, his hands tucked in his pockets casually.

Scorpius huffed and muttered to himself, "What the hell just happened…"

~X~

A/N: Guess what? Yet another chapter finished so quickly! I am really on a roll this week. I'm so addicted to this story, it's unbelievable and I'm even working on the next chapter already! Jesus...

So yeah, James being a lot of a bitch in that chapter as usual. Nothing really to say other than you can expect more of that in a few chapters.

And we were introduced to Chris! One of the guys Louis mentioned last chapter, Pasdoll guessed exactly right. I think Louis was almost expecting Albus to be his knight in shining armour in this chapter, but it didn't quite work that way. The thing with Chris is, I'm not too sure of his personality here myself yet. He's one of those characters that I think you develop him when you're writing, probably cause he's a complete OC as well. Although, with Martino Zabini I already had a very clear idea of what I wanted him to be like. I don't know, we'll just see how he turns out. I'm hoping I can make him seem almost like a cheeky chappy, but yeah, we'll see.

I think really, that's all I have to say about that chapter. Thanks to Pasdoll, Lizzy0308 and drumline for reviewing the last chapter and keeping so up to date with this story! Next one will most likely come tomorrow again!

Next chapter:: Tensions are high as Scorpius realises Albus was completely unaware of his injury the previous night and doesn't seem to care and what will happen when Albus meets Chris?