Heaven Freezes, Hell Closes

By Dejah Thoris

Chapter Eight: Quieting the Beast

They were already on my tail by that point. I wouldn't have thought they'd be so close to finding me already, though. The game had begun and I knew the rules, I just didn't know they'd already fired the starting gun.

Looking back I can see the mistakes. You have to learn from them or die trying. Back in grade school the teachers would tell you, "It's only a mistake if you don't learn from it."

I never looked too deep into that bull shit they spoon fed you. The tidy package they used to wrap the world in wasn't big enough to contain the truth, and any escapee worth his weight in hard currency learned well enough that the real world couldn't wrap them up either. Unless they slipped.

Then you'd end up right where you were put. A tiny figure in a box, shiny bow and all. Along with the rest of them I found myself trapped in the box, but with the right tools and enough attitude you can gut your way out of any wrapper. Any physical one.

I quickly found that the worst prisons weren't all slams in the middle of nowhere. Surface-bound or space-stationed, it didn't matter. Compared to the prison of your own thoughts, those were private resorts.

The only escape from your own prison of memories is insanity, and I've never had the guts to climb that far down into the abyss. When it stares at me I beg her to let me fall into its black depths and drown the pain no one sees. But her voice calls me back, and like an obedient dog I come running, pressing my head beneath her hand to feel her fingers against my skin. Even now that she's gone I come running, pulled between two worlds. Life and death, the fence between. I wonder if I'll have to ride it forever.

I want that painful thing called humanity to set me free. I want to disappear back into that realm that I called home for so long. Where the only consequence was death, and the game drove me to new heights of insanity. My conscience was nonexistent, my only link to humanity a tiny voice in the back of my head; long forgotten, it had grown quiet. The beast was in control and I didn't want to fight it.

In fact, I welcomed it. I savored it like a drowning man might savor air. I reveled in it, the voice silent.

Then she came. Unexpected. Unwarranted. Unwanted. For a while. Eyes that had seen too much. Flesh that had felt too much pain. And yet, when she looked into the soul of a killer, a monster, she saw a man. A "good man", she said.

How could I turn away from that? How could I pretend there was no link from her healing soul to my battered one?

How could I not love her?

#

The engines of Riddick's newly-bought ship purred to life. It was more of a screaming rumble, but it sounded like a purr to Riddick.

"Sounds good," he commented offhand, flipping switches as he ran through a system check. "Hull integrity one hundred percent."

He glanced at Phaidor to see her smiling at him, eyes dancing. "Proud of your new ship?" she asked.

He laughed. "Yeah. I guess I am." He reached over and took her hand. "But it's our ship."

Riddick had found himself thinking of the few possessions they'd acquired since arriving on Retsuje as "theirs" without even realizing it had happened. They each made separate wages, but that didn't seem to make a difference. It wasn't his money and her money. It was their money. It was easy to accept Phaidor as a part of his life. She made it easy. She made it wonderful.

When her hands were on his skin he knew his heart was in her teeth. She could soothe or break him. He felt he'd come to a point of such total devotion, it wouldn't matter. Every second with her was worth the risk of pain. It was worth the risk of loss.

Phaidor must have noticed his absent expression because she gripped his hand tighter, bringing him out of his thoughts. He smiled at her again, leaned over and brushed his lips against hers.

"What were you thinking?" she asked him.

He went to pull back, but she caught the back of his hand with one of her incongruously quick movements, pulled his mouth to hers again for a deeper, longer kiss.

When she finally let him pull back again, his heartbeat thudding harder than before, he couldn't help but give her a wicked grin. "I was thinking about you."

Her smile was full of warmth. "Good." She kissed him again. "What are you thinking now?"

Riddick waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "That we haven't taken a very good look at the sleeping quarters on board. Maybe we should do that before we leave."

Phaidor laughed, hopped out of her seat and tugged on his hand, urging him to his feet. "Let's do it, then."

His laugh was a deep rumble of sound as he pulled her against his chest. "That's exactly what I had in mind."

#

An hour later, flushed and temporarily satiated, Riddick and Phaidor were back in the cockpit. All the ship's systems had been checked, the power cells were fully charged and running at optimal efficiency, and their few possessions were carefully stowed away.

The arrangement had come about naturally. Riddick's piloting skills had been put to good use and he'd been often used to transport supplies from one settlement to another. Supply orders were filled by a drop ship that came every two standard months and, occasionally, one settlement might need supplies that another station had.

When Riddick wasn't working heavy machinery in the mines he was making deliveries and picking up goods. The transport he commonly used was a refitted personnel craft of moderate size, designed with sleeping quarters for six, a galley, rec space, six cryo-lockers for prolonged space travel, two heads, and an exercise area. There were three small decks, one for the cockpit and various computer systems on board, one for living space, and the third, lowest deck was for the engines, power cells, and a large cargo area.

The company that had exclusive mining rights on Retsuje had recently purchased new transports for inter-station travel and S4 had found itself with two extra transports and no way to get rid of them without taking a loss.

Riddick had offered to buy the transport he'd used throughout his employment. For a reduced price he would do a last supply run for his employer to all the settlements, not just S4, and would deliver a cargo of pulsate-falade to the cargo ship currently in orbit awaiting its next shipment. He'd already finished the supply runs while Phaidor had stayed at S4 to pack their belongings, and now they only had to rendezvous with the cargo ship before they were free to go anywhere they pleased.

"Ready to go?" he questioned quietly, his deep voice a soft burr of sound.

"Wherever you are going," Phaidor answered with a smile.

He took her hand and kissed it before turning back to the controls. He slowly raised the throttle, controlling the engine velocity. Soon the frozen surface of Retsuje was falling away below them, becoming nothing more than a lovely array of cold weather days and hot nighttime memories.

They'd spent eight standard months on Retsuje. Eight months of heat despite the planet's freezing temperatures.

The delivery took less than two hours. They docked in the cargo ship's massive hull and were met with an expert loading crew that had the cargo of precious metal removed in short order.

Free at last, Riddick watched the black of space wrap a silencing blanket around the ship as they disembarked from the docking bay. It flowed through him, stilling his mind, allowing his thoughts to fester. They'd be on him by now. Far away, but coming. It was only a matter-of-time before one of them came for him. Then he'd have to kill again, slip back into the roll of executioner. A deadly routine that was stealing away his humanity, even as it was only a thought.

And what humanity it was. Bliss. They said it was ignorance, but he knew better. Bliss was a tender hand on his face, stroking away the pain and the hate. Bliss was green eyes framed by black lashes, staring into his as a blissful voice whispered words of comfort and trust. Bliss was five-foot-seven-inches tall with flame red hair and chocolate skin. Bliss for Riddick was Phaidor.

She was exotic beyond compare. In all his travels and journeys, he'd never once come across another human being like her. Not in looks or temperament.

"Phaidor."

"Yes, Riddick?"

"Do all the people of Lorna look like you?" Riddick turned in his seat to look at her, studying her profile. Her soft mouth had gone thin and hard and he realized he didn't know very much about his Phaidor.

Phaidor shook her head slowly, sending red strands around her face in a shimmering curtain of hair. "No," she whispered finally. "There are no others that look like me."

Riddick had often found himself curious about Phaidor's impossible coloring. At first he'd thought it might be a result of the expensive body modifications some people went through, having their very DNA altered to make hair, eye, and skin color permanently altered. He knew her better than that now. He also knew she never would have had the money for that sort of procedure. The impossible, blood red of her hair, the flashing brilliance of her emerald eyes, and the deep mocha of her skin were the features she'd been born to, but how something like that would have occurred was a mystery to him.

It seemed that Phaidor retreated to deep thought, perhaps considering her response. When she finally spoke it was as if from a distance. As if she were speaking of someone else from a distant place.

"Twenty-eight years ago a scientist on the planet I am from started a project. He believed he could make a sort of super-human race. With the right DNA samples and biological engineering he believed he could start a new race.

"The idea was to make an extremely intelligent human being. Speed, grace, beauty... The capacity to become anything. And apart from being different inside, this new being was to look different on the outside. Different from any human being ever seen.

"Skin tone of an African, hair of impossible color, eyes the same. When the first of the race was born it was immediately sent to a military facility for training. It was taught the art of war and combat. Proper etiquette, literature, history. Seduction. Everything. But when the being could not be persuaded to hurt others, funding for the project was brought to a sudden halt.

"The scientist lost everything and turned on his creation. He was this creation's father, and he beat and threatened it until, one day, his creation ran away."

Riddick had felt his chest tightening with every word from Phaidor's lips.

"That creation was me," she continued. "You could ask me a number of questions on philosophy, warfare, history, languages, and a multitude of other subjects and I would have answers. You can test me on a multitude of martial arts techniques and weapons and I could perform the techniques, use the weapons.

"But none of that saved me when those men in the ally attacked me. Caught unawares, I was unable to defend myself against three grown men. I am still a failure to my father." These last words were said with a sort of painful resignation. "I am never enough for anyone."

A piece of Riddick's stone heart broke and he pulled Phaidor from her seat to his lap, setting her so she faced him, straddling his thighs.

"Phaidor, you are more than enough. You're perfect. Never put yourself down again. If you can bring me back from the hell I've been surviving since I was a kid you must be an angel. You're mine, and every time I look at you I know I'm yours. No one has made me feel that before. Phaidor, no one has ever made me feel anything other than hate or pity.

"You make me feel warm. Alive." He rested his forehead against hers, locking her gaze with his. "You're my angel."

Silent tears trembled on Phaidor's lashes before falling to run slowly down her face. She closed her eyes as Riddick kissed the salt of her tears away, his hands tangling in her hair. His heart clenched, twisting in his chest.

"Riddick," she whispered against his lips as he brought her mouth to his. "I love you."

Riddick kissed her tenderly then pulled away slowly, his heart full of a sort of wonder. "You are an angel, aren't you? You must be, because despite everything and everyone, I love you, too."