Disclaimer: I don't own L&O SVU or any of the characters in L&O SVU however some characters are figments of my own imagination!

What happens if Fin was too late? What happens if Harris not only forced Olivia to give him oral sex but also vaginally raped her?

Olivia felt so heavy when her eyes began to open. She groaned weakly as she tried to move and felt the most agonizing pain between her legs. The worse thing was that she wasn't sure where she was.

"El?" She called knowing the detective wouldn't be too far away from her, she couldn't open her eyes properly.

"Liv?" He replied taking her hand in his own.

"Where am I?" She croaked weakly trying not to panic.

"Back in hospital Liv." He explained.

"Oh." She replied before dropping back to sleep.

Elliot could only watch. This was the fourth time in eighteen hours that she'd come round ask where she was then gone straight back out again.

"Elliot?" Cragen whispered coming back into the room and seeing him once again clutching Olivia's hand.

"She came round again." He explained his eyes not leaving her.

"I guessed but Elliot ... you need to sleep." Cragen told him firmly.

"I will, when she's better." Elliot replied.

"Elliot ..."

"Don't Cap', my mind won't rest until I know she's ok." He explained as tears pooled his eyes.

"While she's sleeping, now she's ok, she's going to need you full game when she wakes up Elliot, go home and get some sleep and I will call you the second she comes around properly." Cragen told him firmly.

"I can't." Elliot replied.

"I won't leave her side Elliot." Cragen told him.

"And you'll call me as soon as she comes round?" Elliot asked

"I promise."

Xxx

Ten hours after Cragen had sent Elliot home Olivia came round but this time she came round properly. She felt exactly as she had every other time she'd come round but of course she didn't even know that she'd been in and out of consciousness for over twenty eight hours.

"El?" She groaned.

Cragen who hadn't let go of Olivia's hand thought it was just another drift into consciousness.

"No Olivia its Don." He replied his thumb massaging her hand.

"Where's Elliot?" She croaked weakly trying to open her heavy eyes.

"He's resting." Cragen replied.

"Oh." She nodded weakly. "Where am I?"

"Saint Catherine's." He replied waiting for her to drift off asleep one again.

"What time is it?" She continued making Cragen realise that she wasn't drifting off yet.

"It's three am Olivia." He replied.

"Oh." She nodded fighting her eyes open.

"Where am I?" She asked again making Don Cragen swallow hard.

"Saint Catherine's hospital Olivia, you just asked that." He replied.

"Oh ... yeah... where's Elliot?" She asked.

He realised there was something wrong for her to be repeating herself.

"Olivia are you ok if I step out to make a phone call?" Cragen asked uncertain whether or not she should be left alone.

"Yeah I'm fine." She nodded her eyes still closed.

He let go of her hand and quickly slipped out into the corridor, she using this moment to go to sleep once again.

"George I need you." Cragen said into the phone before hanging up and going back into the room.

He walked to Olivia and took her hand in his own waiting for her to say something and when she didn't he realised that she was asleep again.

Xxx

It took just over an hour for George Huang to walk into Olivia's room at Saint Catherine's hospital.

"Hey." Huang smiled softly as he walked into the room.

"She's out again." Cragen explained as he continued to stroke her hand.

"I see, what happened for you to call me?" Huang asked knowing it was something serious for Cragen to call him at three in the morning.

"She came round again, I thought it was just another brief wake up again but then she asked what time it was and then I answered and then she asked me again where she was and I replied and told her she'd already asked she nodded and then asked me again where Elliot was." He explained. "Is she ... what's wrong with her memory?" Cragen asked in an almost panic.

"Don't worry Don, she's fine, she's just confused from the cocktail of medication and loss of blood, it's going to take her a while and she won't remember most of the times she's woken up maybe bits of it but it will probably just be puzzle pieces." Huang explained going around to the other side and taking Olivia's other hand into his own.

"The doctors confirmed that you saved her life George." Cragen said filling the awkward silent that had clouded around them.

"I did what I could." George shrugged.

"You could have lost your medical license you practically operated on her in her bedroom." Cragen replied having been listening to the doctors talking in the corridor.

"I know, but it was Olivia, I had to save her..." Huang replied trying not to cry in front of Don Cragen.

"Thank you." Cragen whispered blinking back his own tears. "I don't think ... I can't think what would happen if she ..." He couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

"Don't even begin thinking like that. She's going to be fine. She's in the best place now and I don't think even Olivia would argue against being here after everything." Huang replied his eyes fixed on Olivia as he focused on hiding his tears.

"I can't help it." Cragen whispered as Olivia began to stir once again.

"Cap?" She whispered hoarsely.

"Right here Olivia." He whispered.

"El?" She asked her head turning limply towards Huang.

"No Olivia it's George." Huang replied.

"Oh hey." She whispered giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

"I think she's back." Cragen said giving Huang a weak smile.

"She seems more lucid." He nodded.

"She's right here." Olivia replied sarcastically making both men smile.

Her eyes finally fluttered open taking a few moments to adjust to the light.

"How's the pain Olivia?" Huang asked.

"Off the charts." Olivia replied her voice breathy and scratchy.

"Want me to get a doctor?" Huang asked her.

"No. No not now, I'd rather cope with the pain for a bit." Olivia explained. "So is someone going to tell me what happened and how I ended back here?"

"Olivia, when you went to the bathroom back at the house, you must have caught your stitches and you started to bleed." Huang began to explain.

"Ok." Olivia nodded.

"You almost bled out, we set up a quick blood transfusion from Elliot to you and then I had to ..." Huang's voice hitched, he knew Olivia wasn't going to be pleased.

"What?" She asked giving his hand another comforting squeeze.

"I had to stitch you up there and then on the bed in your apartment." He explained weakly.

"What? Why?" She asked in shock.

"You wouldn't have made it to the hospital, I had two options, let you die or operate and I chose the latter Liv." He explained.

"Thank you." She whispered tears pooling her eyes. "You saved my life ... thank you."

"Anytime Liv." Huang whispered knowing that there was a chance she'd never look at him the same because of what he had done but he knew it had been necessary to save her life.

"Where's Elliot?" She asked weakly.

"I sent him home to get some sleep, he stood beside you for so long I thought he'd collapse. I'll go call him..." He started to pull away letting go of her hand but she held it tighter and pulling him back.

"Let him rest." Olivia replied. "How long ... How long was I out?"

"Well including the hour I was working on you at your place twenty nine hours and that doesn't include the couple of hours sleep you got before you went into shock."

"I've been out for more than twenty nine hours?" Olivia asked in surprise.

"Yeah." Cragen nodded.

"Wow." Olivia sighed leaning her head back further into the pillow.

"Olivia how's the pain?" Huang asked once again.

"You already asked me that." Olivia laughed softly but the laugh made her grimace in pain.

"That gives me the answer." Huang replied.

"No it doesn't it's imaginable, luckily I have a ... high threshold for pain." Olivia explained as she adjusted herself.

Huang reached over to the bedside and passed Olivia the remote control for the bed so she could adjust it herself.

"I haven't told the doctors you've come around yet." Cragen whispered.

"Don't... N-Not yet." Olivia whispered.

Both men just looked at her unsure what she meant.

"I just want to relax and not have doctors poking and prodding at me." She explained. "Just for a few minutes." She explained before breaking out in a yawn. "They'll just pump me full of more drugs and knock me out again."

"That would be better than being in pain." Cragen suggested.

"I know, but I want to be awake when Elliot comes back." She replied breaking out into another yawn.

"Looks like you could fall asleep without the drugs Olivia." Huang smiled softly.

"I'm still woozy." Olivia replied shrugging, she could feel her eyes trying to fight the drowsiness.

"Let yourself sleep Liv, sleep naturally and then you'll feel even better when you wake up." Huang explained rubbing her hand.

"Ok." She nodded rubbing her cheek into the pillow and closing her eyes falling instantly asleep.

Cragen and Huang looked at each other and then back at Olivia.

"At least while she's focusing on the physical she's not thinking over what happened." Cragen whispered.

"Yeah, I hope she lets herself get physically better before we even begin to worry about the after affects of the mental." Huang replied sighing, he knew she had a long battle ahead of her.

Xxx

When Olivia woke up she let out a gasping sob of pain.

"Liv?" Elliot said squeezing her hand.

She was in far too much pain to speak so she squeezed his hand back as she let out another sob.

"I'll get someone Liv just hold on." He whispered and she let go of his hand and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Olivia are you in pain?" Huang asked coming from his seat beside the bed.

Olivia could only nod as she was still unable to speak. Elliot returned with a doctor who grabbed a needle and vile.

"I'm just going to give you a shot of morphine and then I'll set the morphine drip Ms Benson." The Doctor stated.

Olivia still couldn't say anything and gave a weak nod.

"It will work fast so just hold on." She added as Olivia gripped the bed sheets while Elliot stroked the side of her face.

The doctor left and Olivia held tight to George Huang's and Elliot's hands as she waited for the pain to ease up. Once it did a memory flooded her mind that had her breaking out in wracked sobs.

She felt him release inside her and she felt sick, all she could do was feebly fight against him as her hands were cuffed behind her back. She could see him reaching for something through the corner of her eye and saw the metal of the bar. She hoped this would be it, this is where he would kill her, finished her off but she was sadly mistaken. It felt like someone had cut her insides with a knife as the metal pole thrust inside of her, she screamed an ear splitting scream as he twisted the broken bar before extracting it. She thought she'd been sliced with a knife or had someone tear out her insides because the pain was excruciating.

"Liv?" Elliot asked wrapping an arm around her.

"I'm fine, I'm sorry." She sobbed into his shoulder.

"What is it Liv? The pain? Are you still in pain?" He asked her as he tried his best to rock her backwards and forwards.

She just shook her head violently to show that it wasn't the pain, not the physical pain he was thinking of anyway.

"The pipe." She mumbled.

Huang leant in his face white, he knew what she had said and what it meant but Elliot didn't, he still didn't know the details of what had happened in the basement of Sealview prison.

"It feels ... It feels like he's doing it again ... the pain ... it's almost exactly the same as the broken pipe." She hiccupped and Elliot looked at Huang understanding it was something to do with what had happened but not knowing the full extent.

"Olivia?" Huang asked gaining her attention even though she still held tight to Elliot. "Are you saying the amount of pain you're in now is the same amount of pain as you were when he thrust the metal pipe inside you?" Huang asked and Elliot had stop breathing in order to stop himself vomiting.

"Yes ... but it's ... the pain feel the same ... the same..." She hiccupped.

"It feels like he's done it again?" Huang asked and she nodded frantically.

"Ok Liv, just remember he hasn't, he can't get anywhere near you Olivia you're safe." Huang whispered.

"I know ... I just ... I flashed back." She explained weakly.

"You flashed back to the moment it happened?" Huang asked to clarify.

She nodded, she felt sick, she knew what it meant even though she didn't want to believe it.

"I could see it all happening again in my mind but it wasn't like the nightmares where I was looking in, this time I was actually looking through my own eyes, I could smell him, feel everything all over again... the pain ... the pain triggered it didn't it?" She sighed through her tears trying to calm herself down.

"It's possible." Huang replied even though the answer he wanted to give her was 'probable' not 'possible'.

"I'm never going to get over this." She cried.

"You will Olivia, with time and therapy you will." Huang replied giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

"Liv I'm just going to step outside, I'll be back in a second." Elliot whispered kissing her temple lightly.

Olivia nodded and let him go. She could only watch him as she knew he'd found out one of the worst moments of what had happened in Sealview, something she didn't want him to know, something she had wanted to protect him from knowing.

"He raped her with a broken metal pole?" Elliot asked Cragen as soon as he was out in the corridor with his Captain.

"That's what she said, we also found the bar and it's in evidence and it has Olivia's blood and vaginal cells and the injuries she sustained are consistent with trauma of this magnitude." Cragen replied.

"Hold up!" Elliot snapped. "Stop talking about her as if she's just another case and talk to me about her as if she's Olivia!" He yelled.

Olivia squeezed Huang's hand and closed her eyes. She wondered if Elliot knew that she could hear every word of what they were saying. A part of her wanted to listen and needed to know but another part of her wanted to shut it all out.

"Elliot! It's the only way I can say what happened without barfing, so I'm sorry if it isn't how you want to hear it but I have to say it like that!" Cragen replied.

"But she's not just any victim Cap' it's Olivia, our Olivia and she's ... He ruined her, inside and out he destroyed her... I'm going to kill him." Elliot replied punching the wall opposite Olivia's room.

She heard his fist connect with the wall and she grimaced in reaction.

"Want me to go tell them to stop?" Huang asked.

"No." She replied trying to listen again.

"Elliot I know how much Olivia means to you and ..."

"No you don't! No you don't know how much she means to me because no one knows! I love her! I love her more than words could ever describe and it is killing me seeing her like this. I love her Cap. I love Olivia."

Not much left of this story because everything I was originally going to use for this is going to be used on my Sequel to Captured for those of you eagerly awaiting it, I have started it!