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Chapter 9

"So Rose, why don't you start by telling me a little bit about yourself?" Lissa suggested and I mentally face palmed. She sounded exactly like I thought she would – genuine and caring.

I hated that.

"Eh," I struggled to find something to talk about. "I'm twenty-one. I- I guess I live with Dimitri now for the time being-"

"And why are you living with Dimitri?" she cut me off.

"Excuse me?" I knew exactly what she was trying to do. She was trying to get me to admit that my life was pretty dang awful at the moment. Bitch.

"What's your reasoning for living with Dimitri?" she repeated, her expression still one of concern and care.

"I- I don't really have any reasoning, he kidnapped me."

Lissa cracked a smile, but when on with her inquisition. "But you don't have to stay there. I mean, you're an adult – you can do what you want?"

I was silent for a moment before deciding that it would probably be easier to actually co-operate with her. Plus, I had promised Dimitri I would come here.

"He- He takes care of me," I told her honestly, playing with the thread coming loose from my sleeve, not feeling like I could look her in the eyes.

"And why do you think he takes care of you?"

"Well, I don't know, do I?" I responded, looking up at her. She immediately started scribbling down on her posh clipboard. "Hey, stop writing about me, will you? I have enough people judging me."

"I'm not judging you, Rose," she told me, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees. "This is a place where you can be yourself and talk about anything you want without fear of being judged – that's the point of this."

I groaned and sank back further into the couch, wishing I could sink right through it and disappear.

"Let's start again, shall we?" Lissa continued, not waiting for me to reply. "Did you grow up here in the city?"

"Yes."

"Yes? And who did you live with?" she asked me, leaning forward and looking interested, as if we were discussing last night's news.

"My parents," I replied again shortly, trying to ignore the caring look in her eyes. It made it so much harder to be mean to her.

"And what were your parents like?" she asked me the question I had been dreading.

"They were like any other parents," I lied, making a little too quickly. Lissa looked at me sceptically.

"If that were so than why are you trying to rip a chunk out of my couch?" I looked down and realised that as soon as she had brought them up, my entire body had tensed, and my fist had clench around the comforting material covering the couch.

"Okay, so they weren't exactly like everybody else's parents," I admitted. "But I don't want to talk about them."

"And why's that?"

"Because they were horrible!" My voice rose quickly and I struggled to get a hold of myself. "Can I have a cigarette?" I asked her, my finger's itching towards my jacket pocket.

"You can do what you want now," she told me, glancing up at the clock. "Our time's up."

"Already?" I asked shocked. Sure enough, when I glanced at the time I saw that an hour had passed.

"Yup," Lissa replied. "I think we made good progress today. I'd like to start up next week by talking about your parents again, okay?"

"Okay," I grumbled, not liking the idea of next week's session. That was going to be fun.

Giving her a reluctant thanks, I pulled on my jacket and let myself out. I had a cigarette out and almost lit by the time I was walking out the front door.

I felt relieved that the first session was over – I had been dreading it since Dimitri had made the appointment. He had told me about Lissa…and she was every bit as nice as he had described her to be.

But I also felt awful.

Since I could remember, I had never looked back nor dwelled on the past. It was the only thing I could do to keep sane, otherwise I would've lost it completely with the amount of regretful things I had done.

Being with Lissa made me look back on all of them…and not just that, but she wanted me to talk about them and express why I thought I'd done this and how I'd felt while doing it.

It made me sick.

The sound of a car door slamming made me jump. It took me a second to realise that Dimitri had been parked outside the building.

"How'd it go?" he asked, sitting down on the bench beside me. I could see him looking disapprovingly at the cigarette in my hand but he didn't say anything, which I was thankful for.

"Fine," I replied simply, taking another drag. He looked unappreciatively at the smoke I blew out into the environment.

"I'd offer you one but I can tell from you repulsed expression what your answer would be."

Dimitri stopped frowning. It was almost as if he hadn't realised he'd been looking so disapprovingly.

He didn't give an answer to my previous comment. "How'd you like Lissa?" he asked instead, turning his head to look at me.

I scrunched up my nose.

"You didn't like her?" he asked surprised. "Huh…I really thought you two would get along well."

"No, she was really nice – that was the problem. She was too nice. I've never known 'nice'…I don't know how to deal with 'nice.'"

Dimitri didn't have a reply for that either.

"Did you just arrive?" I asked, nodding my head at his slightly banged-up car.

"Nah, I waited in the car."

"Wh- The whole time? I was in there for like, an hour?!" I exclaimed, looking at him like he was an idiot.

He looked forward again and a smile appeared on his lips.

"I wanted to make sure I was here when you came out," he replied. "And I wasn't just sitting there doing nothing…I brought a book with me."

"A book? Like…to read?"

"Yes, Rose," he laughed. "That's generally what one would do with a book."

"Not me," I told him and he immediately sobered up, probably recalling my confession about not being able to read. "Me? I've always preferred to throw books rather than read them. They actually make good weapons believe it or not."

Dimitri started laughing and it surprised me how much I liked the sound of it. It had been a long time since I'd heard anybody laugh.

"Really?" he asked me, still smiling.

"Really."

His laughter died out completely and we sat there in a fairly comfortable silence.

I had been living with Dimitri for a couple of weeks now…and I guess you could say that I was beginning to get used to his presence. But I didn't exactly 'trust' him yet…

I mean, who knew what kind of agenda he might have?

Although, night after night I waited for him to drift off to sleep before I did, just in case he was going to sneak up on me in my most vulnerable state.

He never did though.

He slept on the couch - giving me the space I had craved for so long, he made me breakfast – with recipes he had learned from his own mother, he looked for me when I went 'missing' and he was the one who had suggested and organised a meeting with Lissa the councillor to help me get better.

He was everything that Adrian wasn't, I realised.

"Come on," Dimitri said suddenly, grabbing my hand and pulling me to my feet. A sudden rush of memories slammed into me – ones where Adrian had grabbed my hand or arm and yanked me to his bedroom or to some stranger's bedroom – all for a little bit of cash, of course.

"Where are you taking me?" I demanded, even I could hear the panic in my voice. Dimitri froze and seemed to realise that he had unintentionally alarmed me.

"Rose," he said softly, realising his grip. "I'm not going to hurt you. I just thought we could take a little walk and well, talk."

"Talk?" I repeated, the word sounding very foreign on my lips.

"Yes, just talk. I promise." He rested his hand on his chest, over his heart, to be exact. "I'm not like Adrian or any of the other guys you've known. I will never take advantage of you, Roza."

I stared into his unflinching eyes for several moments before realising that everything he had said and done so far had been in complete honesty. This would be the ultimate test, right? A walk, in the middle of nowhere, with no one around. He could literally do anything and no one would know.

"Rose?"

I blinked and refocused on his soft eyes…and I saw nothing but concern in them. I gave a little nod and continued stepping towards the path he had been previously leading me down.

We strolled in silence as we both studied our surroundings. The perfectly laid down path began to wear until it disappeared, but there was still a noticeable trail leading further on until we reached a small patch of woodland. It was incredibly surprising to me that, here, in the city, there was a beautiful little forest.

"We should probably stick to the path, Rose," Dimitri commented as I had been gently making my way towards the trees.

"Can we just go in a little bit? Please?" I begged, turning to face him.

DPOV

I was frozen as I stared at her expression. Her usually depressed, lifeless expression was…bubbly - her eyes full of excitement and mischief. I sighed, completely at her mercy. How could I deny her something that brought out that kind of reaction?

She seemed to know my sigh was me granting my 'permission,' as such, and skipped back towards the trees.

"Rose, wait for me!" I called after her as she disappeared from sight. She didn't answer but I could hear her moving around somewhere close by.

"Rose-"

"Ssh!" She slammed a hand over my mouth and gestured to the thick branches above us. "Can you hear that?" she whispered.

"Hear what?" I questioned, my voice mimicking her hushed tone.

"The owl. Listen," she instructed and glanced upwards. I couldn't help but notice the way her long eyelashes cast shadows over her cheeks in the sunset.

"Isn't it beautiful?" she whispered, still looking up in awe.

"Yeah," I realised. "Absolutely beautiful."