Sorry for not updating yesterday! Stuff happened, and I forgot to post it ^_^;; That's why its a double update today! :D We added Natsu's opinion on this ship just for laughs (I mean, he could ship this just because its funny, not because of the romance XD).


Dare fanfic authors

I think Ive finally figured out why people enjoy this shit….. It all makes sense, why haven't I realze that now?

*He finishes the last part of an Ichiza story*

*He doesn't even realize it's about romance*

*All that he cares about is the stunts that Ichiya pulls throughout it all*

*I mean, if he were to actually like this pairing, then he would be killed by the Titania*

"MORE!"

*He shouts to the ceiling, already sad that he read the last fanfic*

Oh i think ive figured out what opt (? ?) mean. Isnt that a apartment #? See, Im starting to learn. But how does that have to do with this creepy storys? Maybe its about Lucys adress? Hmm…..could be…..

SEE! I GOT IT!

"OH! There's another one! AWESOMMMEEEE!"

ADOIS NATSU!

Dear writers,

Out of all the stories you guys write… the ones with….. Ichiya….. are… the most terrifying…..

*She shivers, feeling tingles down her spine*

I understand that you guys write these stories purely for enjoyment….but there is a limit on what you can and cannot write…..

*A deathly aura surrounds her*

*Her eyes turn into a death glare*

"NEVER WRITE ABOUT THAT CREEPY ICHIYA WITH ME AGGAAAIINNNNN!"

*She changes into her Heaven's Wheel armor as she tries to find the authors who write these fanfics*

"I smell some lovely perfume. Sniff sniff. Is that-"

"Noooooooooo!"

*Erza shouts as she tries to run away from Ichiya*

Yours Truly,

Erza Scarlet

Dear Fanfiction Members,

Though you gotten Ichiya down correctly, there are much needed improvements on Erza's characters. First, Erza would never touch Ichiya in anyways. There are numerous reasons of why this pairing would never happen, such as the gap of their ages, one is pretty much a stalker, has a cat clone, a pervert, there's a big chance that he uses his perfume to drug others and many other reasons. And, to add to that list, Ichiya could never satisfied Erza. It's well known that no one can tame the Titania.

Second thing that needs fixing is that only two people can live through Erza's demon mode, and Ichiya isn't one of them. That doesn't mean that Natsu is a fine suitor eith-

*There were more reasons, but the point is clear*

Regards,

Crime Sorciere

*Jellal spent the rest of the week, commenting on any stories involving Erza*

*Giving them pointers or creating a list of why this would never happen, going under the name of Anon*

*That week, Erza stories got dramatically better*

Dear Wonderful Ladies (and men),

I hereby read all of these wonderful stories and couldn't be more joyous by the contents~. But I must ask, why is there such a small about of these true love that Erza and I, men, share~? Certainly, there must be a reason why there are such a small amount~? Are you being blackmailed~? Hunted down, men~?

Men...maybe I can do something about it…~

*Turns into hulk form*

My honey is the most lovely woman, and I have the handsomest face in the land, above all other men~. We were made to be together~.

~Ichiya V. Kotobuki~

*Letter was sprinkled with Type II Obeying Perfume*

*I feel the need to worship a handsome man and the floor that he walks on*