Laughter with an 'S'
"Hehehe!" The Joker burst through the doors to his hideaway and giggled loudly. This was even better than when he shot Barbara! The Joker stumbled over his feet and ran into the bathroom.
It was a small room with a yellow tub from years of use, a toilet with no cover seat and chipped white paint, and, most importantly, an oval mirror hanging over a rusty sink.
The Joker slammed his palms on either side of the sink and smiled gleefully into the mirror. "See that Joey, boy? Looks like I win! Sure, with you gone, Brucey might be a little lonesome but at least he'll have me to keep him warm at night! Hahaha!"
The Joker frowned when no response came.
"Joseph…" He lightly touched the mirror. "Joe—"
Do you really think it matters?
"What?"
Neither of us can win. No matter who is in control, Batman and Bruce will both be occupied with other people. Batman has other criminals who will take up his time and he will barely see you—
"He'll make time for me. We'll have our own little hideaway and live happily ever after no matter what hellfire someone raises!"
Bruce has other women. Being a millionaire playboy, he's expected to entertain beautiful girls. His time during the day will be filled with work and then, right when the sun sets, he has to be Batman and deal with other criminals. We'll always be second. Gotham is always first.
The Joker growled, "I don't care about Bruce."
Joseph flinched. Why not? He's Batman.
"They're two different people, like us. Bruce is… Softer than Batsy." The Joker bit the inside of his cheek. Joseph was right, they were the same person. Batman was Bruce, and unfortunately, Bruce was Batman.
I can't stand this.
The Joker paused for a second. He could take care of the other lowlifes that dare take up Batman's time but he could do nothing against the people in Bruce's life.
Joseph was a silly boy to think about the women. Bruce didn't feel anything for them, so what did it matter if he was with them?
But Bruce had that mansion all to himself. He had lost his poor parents to some mugger and all that was left was his stingy, old butler.
The last of Bruce's family…
And the person closest to him…
The Joker couldn't just barge into Wayne Mansion without alerting Bruce of who he was. He didn't want his secret out yet, but then again…
Joseph was a silly boy.
The Joker grinned and said to the mirror, "Joey, does Brucey having people closer to him than you make you sad? Don't you want to stop it? Joseph, it fills your poor heart with intolerable pain, doesn't it? You love him, don't you?"
Yes… I do.
The Joker gave a sigh and said, "Joseph, you don't deserve that kind of pain anymore."
No… I don't.
"You deserve to be happy! And no one should take that away from you!"
No. They shouldn't!
The Joker looked at his feet; his face cast in darkness, and hid the smile creeping across his face.
He could always play Joseph like a twisted symphony.
The door clicked and was softly shoved open. Bruce took a few steps into his house and looked around.
Empty.
Usually Alfred was there to greet him at the door, or to take his coat and ask how his day was.
But no one was here.
"Alfred?" Bruce called. He smiled at the stray thought of Alfred actually taking a day off or having someone over. His footsteps echoed against the wooden floors and he vaguely heard music crawl on the walls. "Music…?" He strained his ears to hear what the song was, but couldn't pinpoint it.
Bruce made his way to the stairs and gently placed his hand on the mahogany railing, "Alfred?" he called again.
Still no answer.
Slowly, Bruce traveled up the spiral staircase and looked for some sign that Alfred was there. He never leaved without telling Bruce first.
"Alfred?" Bruce took one step off of the stairs and made his way into his bedroom. With every step, the music grew louder and louder, but still remained unknown to him. The hallways seemed to expand and then collapse back on themselves with each passing beat.
Another step and Bruce was over the threshold of his master bedroom.
"Alfred?" He took a step inside and the music was suddenly louder in his ears. It sounded like someone humming.
"Hello?" Bruce walked over to the other side of his room, the moonlight softly leaking in from the far window and flooding into his room, and stopped. He saw someone hunched over something on the floor. "Excuse me…" He started.
But then the person started to sing.
And his voice was…
So familiar.
"'A' you're adorable, 'B' you're so beautiful…"
"What—"Bruce took another step and then felt his insides grow cold. Someone was standing over Alfred's body and it was then that Bruce realized he was standing in a pool of blood. It spread all the way over to the man looming over the butler's body like ugly fingertips.
"A-Al…" Bruce couldn't speak.
What was…?
What was happening?
Was Alfred…?
Thoughts floated but a voice pierced through the haze starting to form and clearly sang.
"'C' you're a cutie full of charms…"
Bruce realized that the person was wearing a purple coat and purple, pinstripe pants. He could barely see the black, bat tattoo on his arm.
"Joker…?" Bruce whispered. His voice couldn't carry out the sheer panic in his heart. How did he know…?
The Joker turned around, only for Bruce to see it wasn't the Joker.
It was Joseph.
Bruce's breath caught in his throat and his feet felt cemented to the floor. "Joe…" He breathed desperately. "What…?"
But then it all made sense.
Why Bruce always felt like Batman around Joseph…
Why Batman always thought of Joseph around the Joker…
Why their voices sounded so familiar…
And why, whenever they kissed, Bruce felt as if they were hiding something from each other, but when he kissed the Joker he felt as if everything made sense.
Joseph was the Joker.
And he had already known Bruce's secret.
Joseph turned back to Alfred and stroked the butler's face with a bloody hand. "'D' you're a darling and 'E' you're exciting, and 'F' you fight in my arms…" Joseph titled his head as he felt Alfred's blood seep through the bottom of his shoes. The cool liquid bit the soles of his feet and oozed through his entire shoes. The warm blood crawled over his shoulders and sent cool waves down his thin spine.
"'G' you look good to me, 'H' you're so heavenly…"
Bruce felt something shoot through him as he heard Joseph's next rhyme.
"'I' you're the one who makes me insane."
Joseph looked at his blood-stained hands and closed his eyes as the Joker's laughter filled his ears. "'J we're like Jack and Jill, 'K' you're so kissable…" He slowly touched his cheek, smearing Alfred's blood on his pale face with three fingers. "'L' is the loneliness we both feel inside."
Bruce stiffened when he saw Joseph slowly stand up but his eyes couldn't, or wouldn't, leave Alfred's limp body.
There was so much blood.
It engulfed the butler like a crimson blanket and wrapped around the floor like satin ribbons.
"'M' 'N' 'O' 'P' I could go on all day." Joseph took one last look at the person who was the closest to Bruce.
Until now.
The entire world felt empty and hollow. Bruce's fingertips tingled but his entire body felt numb. He felt something raging inside him, but, no matter how hard it slammed against his ribs, Bruce remained still. His heart couldn't even be heard anymore. If Bruce wanted anything at that exact moment, it would be to feel pain.
Because, if he was in pain, then maybe he could fight away the emptiness crawling inside him. The sudden loneliness he was hit with was more unbearable than any injury Batman would ever sustain.
Alfred was gone.
"'Q' 'R' 'S' 'T' alphabetically speaking, you're O-K." Joseph turned around and stared at Bruce's white face. "'U' made my life complete," steps echoed in the silent room, "'V' means you're very sweet," just inches now.
Inches away from him.
"'W' 'X' 'Y' 'Z'..." A damp hand caressed a cold face and a shiver ran up a stiff spine. Melancholy frosted over a heart and a silent scream was heard.
"It's fun to wander around this alphabet," Joseph whispered against Bruce's lips as he saw the tears fall down his face, "to tell you what you mean to me."
A soft kiss.
Blood fell down the side of a hard face, the blood of someone dear.
And then Bruce was alone.
So dreadfully alone.
He could have collapsed, right then and there, but a soft cry filled Bruce with strength as he ran over to Alfred.
"A-Alfred!" Bruce cried. Had he imagined it? Did Alfred really just groan right then?
Or did Joseph really…?
Bruce shook his head as tears blurred his vision and bit the back of his eyes. "Alfred…" He whispered almost inaudibly.
"Master Wayne…" Alfred coughed weakly. He didn't open his eyes; the pain he felt was too great. But he knew Bruce was worried that he might have died, and so Alfred was going to push through any type of pain to let him know that he wasn't going to leave him.
Not ever.
"Alfred!" Bruce smiled through the tears streaming down his solemn face. "Thank God!" His hands shook violently as they hovered over Alfred's beaten up face. He had no idea what to do with them. Bruce was torn between holding his butler's face and breaking down, or just hugging Alfred tightly until he suffocated.
Alfred wheezed, "I believe that… Mr. Kerr… Is the Joker…"
Bruce gave a short laugh as more tears fell from his face and onto the floor. "You're right, Alfred."
Bruce's heart swelled with happiness as he saw his butler give a weak smile. Suddenly his world was warm again and his heart slowly melted away the frost of numbing pain it had produced.
Joseph Kerr…
Joker…
Inside, Batman laughed at himself. How could I have missed that?
If the Joker was here, he would have made a joke about Batman's 'great detective skills'.
But suddenly, Batman frowned. No matter what he's done… I still love him… Both of them.
For once, Batman and Bruce Wayne finally thought as one person.
But what did that mean for both of them?
Bruce's eyes closed in horrifying defeat.
