AN: I just had to update this, because right now, its HOT! Its so hot that our thermometer on the front step exploded (the highest it goes is 110 F). And we don't have AC, so its still 92 in our house at 11pm, so my brain is fried...please excuse my spelling/grammar FUBARs.
Oh, I didn't have all the team opening all their presents (that would have taken forever), but hopefully its still readable and enjoyable
"Its Christmas!" Abby threw the door open a little too hard, making it slam into the wall. She heard McGee groaning, covering his head with the pillows. She closed the bedroom door behind her, ignoring McGee as she went to wake up the household
Jen followed Gibbs down the stairs, hearing the commotion from below. She smiled watching Abby run around happily, surveying what "Santa" had left. She felt a bit sorry for Ducky though, caught up in Abby's holly jolly warpath, "I think she's a bit excited."
"Ya think?" Gibbs laughed, watching from a safe distance on the landing
"Ducky, Happy Christmas!" she smiled, shaking Ducky awake
"And Happy Christmas to you, but you are confusing Scotland and England, dear," he chuckled, stretching out his muscles, sore from having fallen asleep in the chair, "However, the two sayings are generally synonymous. Interestingly-"
"Yeah, yeah, that's great Ducky!" she cut him off, turning her attention to the two turtle doves roosting on the couch, "Tony, Ziva, get up!" she yanked the covers off of them, leaving them exposed on the couch, gripping each other for warmth, "Oh, come on! Its Christmas, guys, you can't just stay in bed...well, on the couch."
"I think you'll find that we can," Ziva muttered, her body feeling about twice its normal weight, with her at half her normal strength. "I am sick, Abby, leave me alone to die..."
"You guys are pathetic!" she rolled her eyes at them, "Don't you want to see what you got?" she picked up Ziva's stocking from the mantle, holding it just out of her reach, "Tempting, huh?"
Tony snatched it from Abby's unsuspecting hands, "Let's see here...running socks? You shouldn't have..." he smiled
"Not yours, Tony," Abby took it back and handed the stocking to Ziva, "You've got one too, so go steal your own swag."
"But if its his own, how can he steal it?" Ducky pointed out, handing out stockings to their respective owners, "Back when I was a lad, things were simpler. We would awake on Christmas morning to find fruit in our stockings. And we always hoped for oranges! We thought it was quite the treat; whereas today candy is the standard." from his own stocking, he pulled out a tiny version of the game Operation, "Ah, hardly a test of skill, but fun none the less!"
Gibbs walked down into the living room, watching his team invade their goods, "Santa do good this year?"
"I think so," Jen smiled pulling a bar of chocolate from her own spoils
"Good," he approached the sickly little tree, wilting pitifully, "Can we put this thing out of its misery?" he was met with a unanimous chorus of agreement, and he snapped the brittle thing in half, adding it to the fire burning in the hearth
"Let's see..." Gibbs picked up a large gift from on top of the pile near where the tree once not so proudly stood, "Since this is Ziva's first Christmas, I think she gets to go first."
Ziva eyed the box critically, "I am guessing that this one is from Tony, yes?" she didn't even have to check the tag to know
"How can you tell?" he asked innocently
"Well, for starters, who else would wrap gifts with Playboy bunny wrapping paper?" she pulled the bow off the top, taping it to Tony's head, "Not to mention the fact that it is addressed to 'ninja girl'." she smirked
"You got me," he shrugged, adjusting his bow, "Now open it."
Within the box, she found a series of several smaller ones tucked one inside the other. After four boxes, she was starting to get a bit frustrated, "Is there anything actually in here?"
"Honestly, no," Tony grinned, procuring her real gift from his backpack in the corner, "I just thought it would be funny to see how long you'd put up with it."
Abby continued what Ziva had started, opening several more boxes, "Wow, how many did you put in there?" she admired his dedication, but the environmentalist in her was having a mental tantrum over how much paper he'd wasted. When she finally reached the end, she found a note with a smiley face:
Haha, got ya! :)
"Twelve? Thirteen? Somewhere around there." he handed Ziva her present, also wrapped in Playboy wrappings, "Here. This one's real, I promise."
"Your word means nothing," Ziva glared at him, not trusting him very much at the moment. "Wow..." was all she could manage
"Well, let's see!" Ducky urged, "What do you have there?"
She handed Ducky her gift; a photo album, filled with years of memories. Some of them were older, before she'd joined the team. One that made them all laugh was the memory of McGee, that fateful day of what Gibbs called 'close combat training'. A fight with Kate that ended with McGee in a crumpled heap on the floor, clutching his manhood. Another priceless moment was from the haunted Chimera, of Tony and his rat. "Where did you get all of these?" Ziva smiled, flipping through the years
"Believe it or not, my attention span is longer than that of a budgie, Ziva," Tony reminded her
"I think that would be an insult to the bird," Gibbs chuckled, taking a present from Jen, "Let's see, David?" he looked over at her questioningly, "Because you're sick, whatever's in here, I won't slap you."
"That means a lot," Tony whispered to her, "Take what you can get!"
Gibbs opened the little package, surprised by the contents, "Where the hell did you find this, Ziva?" he held in his hand a small antique compass. It was a bit faded from time and wear, but still possessed a simple beauty to it
"My uncle found it along the Mediterranean." she explained, "For some reason, he passed it on to me. He thinks it is Roman, but it is very old, so I have no idea. I thought that with your boats, you would find a use for it."
He flipped it over, finding a date engraved on the back, "Hey, Duck," he passed it carefully to Ducky, "Can you read that?"
Ducky adjusted his glasses, "Ziva's right; it is Roman. I'm a bit rusty, but I can make out a date. 1305, good heavens! Columbus wasn't even born!"
"That's gotta be worth something!" McGee noted, a diehard fan of the Antiques Roadshow
"Older than you are, boss!" Tony smirked, earning a smack from Ziva. He hacked a bit, not earning any sympathy from his colleagues, "Did they have compasses on Pangaea?" he managed between coughs
Gibbs glared at him, "Oh, you're lucky there are witnesses...otherwise..."
"I'll help you get rid of the evidence," Abby laughed, "Who's next?"
"Well, considering that you'll probably either go crazy, or drive us that way before too long," Jen handed Abby a gift, "Careful, this one's heavy!"
Abby carefully took it, checking the tag, "This one's from Ducky..." she ripped into it happily, "Oh, sweet!" she held up a bowling ball, blood red in color with a black vampire bat imprinted on the side with her name engraved in silver on the wings, "I love it!" she dropped the ball, which narrowly missed landing on Ducky's foot, wrapping him in a huge hug
"I though you would, dear," he returned the hug happily
By the end of the morning, most of the gifts had been exchanged. Tony had received a dozen or so DVDs, a generous gift card to Blockbuster, and a Magnum style Hawaiian shirt, complements of Ziva. McGee got a new typewriter and a pipe from Ducky and a swiss army knife from Gibbs, who cited rule nine. Ducky chuckled as he unwrapped a journal and an encyclopedia set circa 1800. "Are you trying to prove a point, Jeniffer?" he asked with a gleam in his eye
"Perhaps?" she coyly answered. Her gifts were hardly practical; apparently her coworkers thought she needed a life. She'd received a virtual pet, the Sims for her computer and an oversized coffee mug.
Ziva shrugged into a sweater that was obviously too small for her, "McGee, I am glad that you do not think of me as fat, but I think I am stuck!"
Gibbs grabbed the bottom, trying to pull the tight garment over her head, "Hang on," he pulled hard, "You pull one way, I'll pull the other."
"Ow, ow!" she pulled in the opposite direction, feeling the garment compress her chest, "McGee, I am not an extra small, and I probably never will be!"
"I'm sorry," McGee sighed, regretting his decision. "But if I'd have gotten you something larger, you would have thought that I assumed you were...you know, big?"
"Here, let me," Tony offered, "Trust me, I can get any woman out of tight clothes, even Ziva!" he chuckled, sending Ziva into an enraged frenzy. His plan worked, seeing as her thrashing freed her from the constricting sweater, "See? Told ya!"
Tony bolted down the hall, Ziva at his heels. Abby followed at a distance, cheering them on. Gibbs shook his head in disbelief, "You'd think he'd learn by now."
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned?" Jen smiled
"Something like that."
